Monday, July 20, 2015

Pierre Poilievre and the Con Christmas in July

I don't think I've ever seen such a scary tricycle scene since the famous one in the horror movie The Shining.

You know this one.

Pierre Polievre aka Mini Harper or Dickhead, pedalling furiously all over Canada pretending he's Santa Claus.

And that it's Christmas in July.

Can you believe it? Poilievre is on a desperate hunt to find every possible voter the Cons can bribe with OUR money.

Three billion dollars in child care payments roll out in a single day on Monday — a pre-election windfall that has been trumpeted for months by government ads and a carefully crafted communications strategy.

That campaign included the employment minister in a seemingly desperate bid to find 200,000 families "at risk" of missing out on the enhanced Universal Child Care Benefit, an effort that has so far turned up only a fraction of the missing.

In what must surely be the most massive, most blatant, and most grotesque attempt to buy an election this country has ever seen.

And the biggest scam the Harper Con artists have ever pulled.

Most of what is billed as the largest, one-time benefit payment in federal history is likely to hit suburban voters living in federal ridings where the Conservatives can be considered the party to beat, an analysis by The Canadian Press shows. 

Number-crunching based on the last census shows that many of the ridings in line to get the biggest cheques from the newly increased Universal Child Care Benefit are in suburban Alberta and the all-important ridings that surround Toronto — and they usually have a history of tilting Tory.

In their never ending campaign to corrupt our democracy.

And here's the best part. Even Great Leader is plugging the porky payola plan like a car salesman.

In a two-page letter marked “confidential” provided exclusively to Sun Media and sent to his 159 MPs Sunday night, Harper exhorts his caucus to promote the new benefit plan and makes no bones that every Conservative should warn whoever they meet on the campaign trail this summer that their NDP and Liberal opponents would undo the Conservative plans to provide financial support to families.

And calling on his troops to step up their efforts to spray money, like liquid pig manure, all over the country. In this sordid Con Christmas in July.

But then of course he's desperate.

And so is Poilievre...

Because if this Hail Mary scam worthy of El Chapo doesn't work they're finished. It's over. They've got nothing else left to offer Canadians. No money, no record, no nothing.

Unless they can also bribe some terrorist group to attack us...

Which might be difficult since they've blown the surplus. And the loonie is now the Harper peso.

But knowing the Cons and their depraved leader it's not something we can rule out.

But the good news, as I've said before, is that don't think any of this is going to work. It's too blatant and too scummy. It will only make the Cons look even less like a government, and even more like a criminal conspiracy.

And make even more Canadians even more desperate for change.

So it will end badly...

And all I can hope is that when Boss Harper and his ghastly gang are finally defeated, they can be charged with corrupting our democracy beyond recognition.

And in the name of all that is honest and decent.

Finally be punished for their many crimes against Canada...

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Noah Patterson said...

Poilievre's gross bribery mission looks like a second-rate game show or lottery commercial and is beyond shameful (or would be had he a shred of shame). I don't know how this farce is looking to Canadians in general, but I can only hope they see it for what it is, a billion-dollar bribe that ignores the majority of Canadian families.
When people realise that the money went not to families across the nation but to strategically chosen benefactors, people should call the Cons on the con game and show them the door out.

Omar said...

Thanks for the new PS4, Skippy!

Anonymous said...

All I know is, if I'm not getting my billion dollar cheque from the harper regime, I'm voting for Happy Tom Mulcair and his stalwart band of jolly fellows.
Benjamin Steinbergmann

David said...

With all the subtlety of a ShamWow salesman, chief Harper huckster Polievre does a Con election event on the Cdn taxpayers dime @957Pinsent

The OFFICIAL Sham Wow Commercial Featuring Vince!


Conservatives waste no opportunities to tout child-care cheques

Do the government's child-care numbers add up?

Anonymous said...

And now you have to pay taxes on it... :-)

Simon said...

hi Noah...I agree with you completely. It does look like a second-rate game show. And because it does Canadians will see it for what it is. So they will not reap any real benefit from their porky plan, and it may actually help defeat them...

Simon said...

hi Omar...shame on you. You are not supposed to use the money for yourself, to buy a new playstation or more beer and popcorn. Dickhead says you must use it to feed your child and buy school supplies !!!!
I'm reporting you to Revenue Canada immediately and demanding that they audit you,,, ;)

Simon said...

hi Benjamin...yes, nobody has asked all those Canadians who don't have children what they think of this billion dollar scam. But if they're like me they're probably not impressed. I don't mind if families with children get more money. But it is just peanuts, and the Cons are just using it for crass political purposes.And yes, Mulcair and his jolly fellows are looking better and better...