Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Stephen Harper's Traitors and Chimp Bush's Al Qaeda Friends

What a crazy world..... In the House of Monkeys the brutish yankee-style neocon Stephen Harper accuses the opposition of being "soft on terrorism" and of "denigrating the police."

And then goes even further.

"Any party that doesn't take the national security of Canadians seriously will never be chosen by Canadians to form the government of Canada," Harper told reporters.

As if the democratic opposition was betraying Canada and its values, like the yankee loving traitor Harper. Instead of defending them, as the New York Times points out.

"Lawmakers have only to look to the Canadian court for easy-to-follow directions back to the high ground on basic human rights and civil liberties."

As well as reminding us that Harper's demagogic and fascist argument about security is exactly the same as the one Chimp Bush used.... to try to turn the U.S. into a police state.

"That is just the sort of argument the Bush administration used to ram the excesses of the Patriot Act and the 2006 Military Commissions Act through Congress, and offered as an excuse for other abusive policies, like President Bush’s illegal wiretapping of international calls and e-mail."

The same criminal Bush administration...the one that Harper and his neocons follow so slavishly.... that in the name of the Great War on Terror is now secretly funding Al Qaeda

"According to investigative reporter Seymour Hersh, the Bush administration, with Saudi Arabia, is secretly funding radical Sunni groups - some with ties to al-Qaeda - to counter Shiite groups backed by Iran. Moreover, this is being done without any Congressional authority or oversight."

So let me get this straight..... First after they are attacked by a group of Saudi Arabian Sunni religious fanatics ....who planned 911 in a Hamburg mosque....they launch the Great War on Terror by attacking Iraq the only secular state in the region. And the one keeping Iran in check.Then they help install a Shiite Islamic republic that is really a puppet of Iran. Then they allow Israel to make heroes out of Hezbollah in Lebanon.

Now they find themselves facing a Shiite conspiracy stretching all the way from Iraq to the West Bank. So together with Saudi Arabia they start funding Sunni extremists ...some of whom have ties to Al Qaeda. The same group that triggered the Great War on Terror by attacking them in the first place.

Huh? Is that crazy or what?

Just as crazy as Harper is when he attacks the integrity of decent Canadians standing up for our precious Canadian values. While he does everything he can to destroy them.

But at least we now know how to destroy him and his ReformCon Party. By linking Great Fat Fascist Leader to Chimp Bush as firmly as these stooges are...

Every time Great Fat Leader opens his dirty fascist mouth .....real Canadians should reply by asking him why is he trying to rape the rights of women and minorities? Why is he trying to destroy the future of our children? Why is he pimping for the oil patch....instead of trying to save the planet.? Why is he trying to rig the courts by stacking them with right-wing crazies? Why is his government crawling with his crazy theocon homophobe friends? What is his hidden agenda? Why oh why does he want a majority so badly?

And above all....why is he trying to destroy our beautiful country and its values and turn us into a stooge version of Chimp Bush's Amerika?

This isn't politics any's war. It's a matter of survival.

Because until Harper and his ReformCons are deposited head first in the garbage can of history. Canada won't be Canada again.

And nobody in this country will be safe....

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Jesus' Tomb, the Big Lie, and the Virgin's Pizza

Holy shit! Hold the communion wine. It looks as if Jesus didn't fly to heaven after all.

A documentary by the Discovery Channel claims to provide evidence that a crypt unearthed 27 years ago in Jerusalem contained the bones of Jesus of Nazareth.

Moreover, it asserts that Jesus was married to Mary Magdalene, that the couple had a son, named Judah, and that all three were buried together.

I guess they must have scrubbed the mission. Or maybe he missed his flight....although I don't know why he didn't hitch a ride with his lover Mary Magdalene. She could fly too....couldn't she?

As for Judah....I'm jealous. You see when I was really young ....and really naive.... I also thought Jesus was my daddy....

But I was very disappointed...

Shortly after that I realized that religion was just ignorance and superstition. As well as homophobic, crazy violent, and cruel shite.

And that only Beep knows what religion is REALLY all about. And only Peter Pan can fly...

Anyway...I see the wacky wingnuts are calling it a Titanic fraud. But what do you expect? Religion is a big business...and it's bad for the bottom line to have all those billions sitting on a Big Lie. Just like it's bad for a ship to sit on an iceberg.

Besides that's not what I hear.... My spies tell me the Vatican is in a panic. With just about everyone sending out their resumes. Even the Nazi Pope.

They tell me he's just about ready to say yes to that offer to become a fish sandwich blesser for Kentucky Fried Chicken...

But he'll get used to it and adapt. Just like the "Virgin" Mary has.

She is going back to her first love.....baking.

Hey! I'd order a pizza from that place....wouldn't you?

Oh yeah....she'll survive the collapse of the Christian church...if they leave her bake her tarts...and she doesn't get knocked up again...

But as for these young Polish monks....I'm not sure their new act is going to work...but you be the judge...'s not going to work...if they want to make a living in the post church world...they're going to have to take off a lot more than that.

Which reminds me I'm taking off too...I'm whizzing off to look for Jesus' bones.

Religion may be twisted shite. And the last thing we need at this time in history. But business is business.

If you thought Anna Nicole Smith's little bundle of joy was worth a pile of bucks. And the object of an obscene stampede to get hold of her and her money.

Hang on to your ju ju dolls..

You ain't seen nothing yet....

Monday, February 26, 2007

The Homophobe Zombies of Jamaica: The Video

About a week ago I told you a scary little story about the Homophobe Zombies of Jamaica. And how riot police had to rescue three gay men from a mob of 2000 people....who wanted to kill them.

Well now I have the scary sequel..... A video of the attempted lynching...courtesy of another Jamaican freak.

The report by a local station was shot off a tv so it has pretty bad video. And I have no idea what those crazy homophobes are screaming. I don't speak Zombie ..... "chi chi man...a nuh fi wi faith...battyman fi dead...." or whatever that ugly "language" is.

But at least you can get a real idea of what it must have been like to be there...

Wasn't that special? Can't you feel the hate? Are they savages or what?

Needless to say the video wasn't exactly a hit in the bunker. Farm Boy said after that seeing that he'd never have a shit again. He'd have a Jamaica.

Even Sebastien was really angry too. I've rarely seen him so mad. He wants the Canadian government to file a protest with the Jamaican government about the persecution of gays. And he says straight people in Canada should boycott Jamaican owned hetero-only resorts like Sandals. Until they learn their lesson.

Hmmm....good luck..... I told you he's a hopeless idealist...

But as for me.... I'm just glad it's now on video for all the world to see.... what a filthy, bigoted, dangerous country Jamaica really is. And really ignorant too.

"A by bwoy dat. Cause anus is anus and man nuh fi go de soh!

Uh oh...there's that Zombie language again....I don't know what it means.....except for the "anus is anus" part... but even if I was straight I wouldn't go there and find out...unless you can pack an Uzi with your bigot repellent and sun tan lotion...

Seriously though....I'm also glad that the video will make it real easy for my poor gay and lesbian brothers and sisters in Jamaica to apply for refugee status in Canada. And be accepted without any questions. Just by saying .... I'm gay and I live in a cannibal place called Zombie Island...the homophobe toilet of the world.

Now all I can hope for is that Rita will finally put her foot down and have my beautiful Bob Marley reburied in Ethiopia.

"It was a dream of Bob Marley and it is a dream of the family to bury him in Ethiopia. As we believe in what is to be, must be, it will happen in due course...."

It can't happen soon enough for me. Bob's first fans outside Jamaica were gay people.

He loved Jamaica but not that one...the One Love one...not the Crazy Hate one.

The people of that Cannibal Island don't deserve him...

I on the other hand deserve remind me to play the tape again for Sebastien...

Before we go to bed....

A fi nuh wi go a by bwoy battyman dat one Zombie homophobes...

Sunday, February 25, 2007

The Stephen Harper Bug and the Armageddon Game

I think I finally figured out why so many Canadians still don't realize how dangerous Stephen Harper really is. Why so many still think Great Fat Leader is just a ruthless politician. Instead of what he really is.... a secret religious fanatic and neocon monster who would tear this country apart.

At first I thought these Canadians were all idiots or ReformCon scum. To dum to know or care. Too greedy and willing to sell their country for the price of a tax cut. But now I think it's also something else...

I think that the reason many Canadians don't realize how dangerous Stephen Harper really is because he's like a bug that the human body has never seen before....

So the body doesn't attack it, like it needs to be attacked, and the infection spreads...

I think a lot of Canadians are too decent to understand that Stephen Harper isn't like any other politician in Canadian history. He's the most dangerous political extremist this country has ever known.

Because he belongs to an apocalyptic church known for its fanatical missionary zeal, Great Fat Leader plays politics like an all or nothing Armageddon Game.

Stephane Dion isn't just the Leader of the Opposition. He's the Antichrist. Harper doesn't just want to defeat the Liberal Party. He wants to destroy it. Great Fat Leader doesn't just want to make his mark on Canada. He wants to change it beyond recognition.

And he'll do anything to win.

When you cross a Karl Rove Wacko with a Wacko Religious Fanatic you get a really ugly and dangerous beast...

The good news is that after his Great White Zombie outburst in the Commons this week. The one even the Globe called a "wild attack" ......Canadians are starting to take a closer look at Stephen Harper. Just like the body does when it finally recognizes a dangerous bug...

And a lot of them don't like what they see.

"Sadly, Harper's vile and baseless attack on Bains is the latest in a series of sleazy pre-election attacks by the Prime Minister and his party and raises the question of just how low he will stoop in his bid to cling to power.

Clearly, Harper has adopted a take-no-prisoners style of governing in which all political opponents are seen as enemies who must be eliminated at any cost."

I think most Canadians are going to come to the conclusion that it's Harper and his ReformCons who must be eliminated at any cost. If Canada is going to live.

And that Great Fat Fascist Leader can never be a Canadian Prime Minister. When he governs to divide rather than unite. And acts like a mad dictator...too crazy to control himself.

But now that Harper has made himself the issue again. I humbly suggest that it's time for the democratic forces in this country to attack him and his hidden agenda with everything they've got. And of course smear him just like he smears them. Won't that be fun?

And the best news is.....when a country recognizes an alien invader....just like the human body does. And learns how to destroy it. After that we'll all be vaccinated.

And the dirty neocon infection will be gone for a generation...

Bye Bye Con.

Bye Bye Bug....

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Stephen Harper and the Great White Fat Zombie

Yikes! It finally happened just like my voodoo idol told me it would. Great Fat and Crazy Leader's mask finally fell off. And it wasn't a pretty sight. It was a real live horror show!!!!

Bedlam erupted Wednesday after Prime Minister Stephen Harper suggested Liberal opposition to controversial anti-terrorism measures is aimed at protecting a Liberal MP’s relative from investigation in the Air India bombing.

Whew! What a relief. For a while I was afraid Canadians were too dum to understand the difference between a Canadian prime minister ......and a US-style neocon nerd with a bizarre and sinister authoritarian streak....and a messianic determination to change Canada into a yankee jungle.

"The online survey — conducted among a random group of 1,000 people from Feb. 15 to Feb. 19 — reported 46 per cent said Harper would make the best prime minister."

Huh? Any dummer than that and you'd have to water those idiots like plants...

But now I'm sure even those dumbos understand that this Great White Fat Zombie isn't who he is pretending to be....that he is REALLY weird...and has a really dark side...

"Sometimes Stephen Harper just can't help himself....

"The leader who talked himself into trouble over Alberta firewalls and Atlantic Canada's "culture of defeat," the one who derailed his election chances late in the 2004 campaign and almost blew the winning conditions on the eve of the 2006 vote, was back in fine self-immolation form yesterday..."

Oh no..... isn't that awful? The Great White bubbling in his own fat.

Just as he was building up a little momentum and looking for an excuse to call an he can rig the courts and populate them with right-wing crazies and homophobic religious wingnuts...he turns into an ugly evil monster..and eats his own tongue. Mwahahaha!!!

Now he's fucked. Now everyone knows what kind of a coarse and brutish right-wing demagogue he really is.Now he'll never get a majority. Now he'll even have trouble calling an election. When Canadians hear the word election come out of his hissing zombie mouth...and see that weird look in his dead eyes... they'll either scream and run. Or come after him with pitchforks.

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people go after Great Fat and Crazy Leader now. I think they'll want to know a lot more about the man he really is. And always was.

I think they are going to ask a lot of questions about his wacky religious beliefs....and what he used to say before he started pretending to be a nice guy...

I'm sure Canadians are going to want to know what his secret plans for Canada really are. And why oh why does he want a majority so badly?

And so they should. The Zombie started the fire. Let's see if he can stand the heat....

In the meantime will that ridiculous Great Fat Nerd stop pretending he's some kind of strongman leader. And stop jumping Stephane Dion.....coz it's starting to remind me of this....

Shame on him!!!

Now if only we could teach Dion...

How to do the doggy back....

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Blogging for the Tories and Judy the NDP Idiot

I must admit I got a horrible shock the other day. When I scrolled through the Blogging Tories...and saw my own words staring back at me from the middle of all that hideous blue. Some Tory blog had posted something I wrote about the nerd Dion being bashed like a pinata.

And not just any old Tory blog. The monstrous uber right-wing homophobic succubus from Alberta...... the The horror....the horror..

At first I thought it was just a bad dream. Then I was devastated. It's one thing to bash the right wing conspiracy and quite another to publicly bash the lefty one. I could see myself having to explain over and over again that NO...I'm not a Ted Moron supporter you idiot. Or of course I'm NOT a homophobe. Or even worse...I could see myself NEVER getting laid again....

But then I thought what the fuck. Why don't I just say it like it is? I hate all the politicians in this country. I think they're all a bunch of idiots and clowns.The Tories, The Liberals and these days even the NDP. I mean just look at Judy Wasylycia-Leis and the Goodale fiasco. If that's not a klown show what is?

After torpedoing the Liberals during the last campaign by calling in the RCMP. And then flapping her wings and screeching like some demented hen....demanding that Ralph Goodale step down over the income trust leak. And making it appear as if the corrupt Liberals were even more corrupt than they really were. And by so doing helping pave the way for a Harper victory....that has almost destroyed our country.

After all of that ......Judy wants Ralph to apologize to HER? Huh? Wot?

I'm afraid that NDP idiot doesn't quite get it.... I think she's the one who should apologize to the Canadian people. And I'll personally settle for nothing less than this....

I expect her to crawl on her knees from Ottawa to Winnipeg and back again.

To apologize to every Canadian she encounters along the way...even raccoons and roadkill...

And to stop every ten miles and flog herself with a studded leather she knows how gay people feel having to live in Stephen Harper's Canada. Thank you Judy!!!!!

Then and only then I just might forgive her. But I doubt it....

And I'm sure history won't either...

And oh yeah....I think she should also shave her head. If it's stupid enough for Britney....It's stupid enough for Judy.

And then get a brain transplant so she understands that the Conservatives are the real enemy...not the idiot Liberals.

Until then I guess I'll have to settle for small the story of this young gay blogger in Toronto....who like so many other gay kids sometimes has trouble coping with the bigotry of this world.

But has been asserting himself by starting this gay site. And decorating his bedroom door.

Isn't that great? Isn't he great? Of such small victories are bigger victories made...

As for the Blogging Tory problem...I better make it clear where I them and everybody else.

Or maybe ....coz I got to get back to studying for my exams......I better let the Toronto band Billy Talent explain it for me...

Yup...that's my kind of kind of flag...and the only party line I follow. I think cheap political games at a time like this are criminal. And that Harper is playing chess, while the opposition dumbos are playing checkers.

I think those dumbos are doing a rotten job. I think all the old people in this country are fucking with our future. Because they'll be dead while we burn....

As for the Blogging Tory succubus problem ....I'll just make sure that whoever else I bash...I'll bash the ReformCons extra hard every post.

So they'll never run my stuff again....

Now can I please get laid?

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Stephen Harper and the Fascists

I've got to hand it to Great Fat Leader. Nobody else would have had the nerve. To tell students at a Catholic high school how our soldiers fought the fascists at Juno Beach. And then head to the House of Commons and start acting like a wild eyed fascist himself.

If you watched question period you know what I was a frightening sight. When an obviously rattled Harper stood up and started shouting at the top of his voice about how the liberals "hated the police." And how Dion was "soft on terrorism." And how he intended to let police officers choose judges who were "harder on crime."

I thought he'd he did years ago...after his first stint in Ottawa.... before he was "born again." But then I realized that's just how neocons and fascists speak....

"Without law and order our nation cannot survive"

And act....

"As soon as by one's own propaganda even a glimpse of right on the other side is admitted, the cause of doubting one's own right is laid....
....The greater the lie, the greater the chance that it will be believed.....
The victor will never be asked if he told the truth... "

Adolf Hitler

That's what this shabby operetta is all about. First they portray Dion as a wacky nerd frenchy soft on crime weakling and Bin Laden stooge.Now they're building up Harper as Great Fat Leader Strongman. Seig fucking Con nerd ...isn't that a laugh?

But of course..... all Harper is looking for is a wedge issue big enough to trigger an election. And if he insists on acting like a fascist looking for a battlefield...I suggest that the opposition take a page out of the Soviet anti-fascist handbook from World War Two. And not give him one.

Stage a strategic retreat.,delay, change, and scorch the earth. But don't give him an excuse to call an election. Don't block anything. Don't bring down the Cons. Wait until the fall...

By that time the slight momentum he has now will have evaporated. The budget tax cut bribes will have been forgotten. The bodies of French-speaking soldiers will have been coming back from Afghanistan all summer. Bye bye Quebec...And when it's really hot and stinky Canadians tend to take global warming a lot more seriously than they do now.

And the opposition parties can use the time to get their act together. And come up with a simple message to hammer home: that Stephen Harper and his extremist neocon homophobes and wingnuts would change this country into another jungle like Amerika. And attack them just like the Cons are attacking them. Instead of playing patty cake with them

Let me give you an example...When the nasty neocon bore John Baird screams like a queen about everything. Don't even bother to argue with him. Just remind people he was the Minister of Workfare in Mike Harris' thug government.

And when he was finished waging a brutal war on poor people and young people...Toronto looked like this....

And still does....(click on pic to enlarge) now it looks like there are homeless people everywhere. Now it's a jungle of winners and losers...

If John Baird and his brutish inhuman neocons could do this to a city...imagine what they could do to a country...and our beautiful Canadian values..or just ask Der Fuhrer....

"Struggle is the father of all things. It is not by the principles of humanity that man lives or is able to preserve himself above the animal world, but solely by means of the most brutal struggle..."

If Stephen Harper is acting like a fascist now... imagine what how he would act like if he ever got a majority.

If the opposition can't get its act together, and stop fighting itself....this country is in trouble.

And what Der Fuhrer fascist once said about Canada might even turn out to be true.

"Even an idiot could run that country..."

If we ever allowed that to happen.

Imagine what that would say about us...

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Stephane Dion and the Walking Pinata

I think I'm going to have to stop watching Question Period....or maybe even tune out of day to day coverage of Canadian politics. It's just getting TOO ugly.

I am not a supporter of Stephane Dion and the Liberal Party. But I hate bullying of any kind. And the Wacky Professor is starting to look like a walking pinata.....two wacks away from getting his stuffing knocked out.

It's's like dog fighting...I can't even watch it. Somebody call the SPCA. As the ReformCon assault continues....and Quebecers laugh at him. The poor know-it-all nerd can't even defend himself.

He can't make a clear and simple point....stay on message or even deliver it. He may speak better English than the Little Thug from Shawinigan. But because of the way he speaks it's much harder to understand. A cartoonist in Quebec used to portray Dion as a rat. But to me he looks and sounds like a mouse on crack.

But at least now some Liberal Bloggers seem to have snapped out of their state of denial . And realized that yes Houston....there is a problem.

This opinion isn't meant to sound defeatist, but I think it realistic. If I had to quantify Harper's chances for re-election, I would say there is an 80% likelihood.

Or have they?

No mention of The Mouse's pathetic performance. No apparent understanding of how fucked they are.

Dion can't jump on Great Big Fat Leader's plan to give Quebec all that dough and decentralization...or look like the Great Centralizer....and The Grinch. He can't oppose him on the environment because when he was Environment Minister he did nothing. He can't fight those juicy tax cut bribes. Because when it comes right down to it, Canadians like those a lot more than Kyoto. Yum.Yum. He can't accuse Herr Harper of having too many socons in his ReformCon Party. Because his party is full of them.

He can't even draw a firm line in the sand on Afghanistan...because he's got The Patrician Mortician Ignatieff....

So if I was Dion I wouldn't even talk about an election...... I would play for time.

Delay, change, but don't block anything the Harper government proposes.

Think of it as a strategic retreat. Anything can be changed later. Anything is better than a Harper majority government.

The Liberals could then use the time to teach Dion how to deliver a simple five-point plan in sentences no longer than five words. And how to talk instead of squeak.

And they could also try to come up with a way to stay on a simple message: That Stephen Harper and his extremist neocons and fellow religious fanatics would change Canada beyond recognition into a right-wing jungle just like Amerika. And help torch the planet. By blowing the Chimp and his gang in Washington...and pimping for Big Oil in Alberta. If you love Canada..... you gotta hate them.

If you wanna gotta kick em in the nuts...

Or something like that...I leave it up to them. I'm not a pimp for the Liberal Party. All I want to be reassured of right now is that somebody will have the guts to tell the Wacky Professor that he's squeaking like a mouse.

And that we need an election, like he needs a scarf....

To hang himself with...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

How Garth Turner Pooped on Great Fat Leader's Party

Wasn't the timing perfect? On the very day that Great Fat Leader has his Nuremberg Speech to mark the one-year anniversary of his ReformCon Regime's rise to power...

Along comes Garth Turner and knocks the fatso off his perch. By pooping on his party.

And soon nobody could even remember what President Porko said. All everybody wanted to hear was what Garth had to say. That's all people were talking about.

Even the trained seals at the Blogging Tories.

At 6:35 pm I counted 18 posts about Garth. And only three about Great Fat Leader. And one of them was a blowjob from an American. So it doesn't count.

Talk about a propaganda bust. Oink. Oink. First they run those crude ads during the superbowl and make themselves look like yankee stooges. Now this. Mwahahaha!!!

But then what do they have to celebrate?

Decent Canadians in this country have lost a lot. We have had to look on helplessly as these brutish ideological extremists have raped the rights of women, gays, and other minorities. Destroyed a childcare program that would have helped millions of Canadian children and their parents. Planned and plotted to put more children in jail. Hurt the poor and blown the rich..... and the religious fanatics that infest their government like cockroaches. Dragged us deeper into a crazy war in Afghanistan. And ruined our proud reputation abroad.

Oh yes we've lost a lot......and so has our beautiful country. But so have these filthy Cons.

One year later they now know that their thousand year ReformCon Reich will never happen. That Conservative values will never be Canadian values. Only Amerikan ones....or the values of the mortally wounded Chimp Bush regime.

They've run out of history. Stephen Harper will always be the guy who had a majority in his grasp. And blew it.

Today Great Fat Leader may have fallen off his pedestal. Just like Saddam. Today this Climate Change Denier is pretending he's gone green. Sooner or later he will be REALLY green.

Sooner or later Canadians will have had their fill of him.

Sooner or later he'll hang....

Sunday, February 04, 2007

The Crippled Dog and the Cruel Monsters in Iraq

The other day I ran a video that showed how American convoys drive around Iraq. One of my blogging buddies said he had hoped it ended with an IED explosion. Kaboom.

I told him I would never show an IED explosion killing or injuring American soldiers. And there are a lot of them. Because while I hate the Bush and Cheney war criminals with every bone in my body. I hate to see our neighbour's kids die.

Or be horribly injured.....

Like this young soldier who lost half his head.

Or this one who will never be the same again...

Just ask his mum how much that hurts....

In fact I was going to write something about the new dangers American troops face from weapons like this one. That can go through a humvee like a knife through butter.

Or why a new generation of IEDs is so deadly, thanks to something called a shaped charge.That can take out a tank.

Just so everyone knows what they face every day. So you can understand some of the things they do.

But then I changed my mind....I still don't want most American soldiers in Iraq to be killed or wounded.

Just these guys.....

Sometimes horror stories like this one....... or this one.tell you all you need to know about the war in Iraq.

But sometimes how you treat a poor miserable crippled Iraqi street dog.... that has probably had to scrounge for scraps all its pitiful life without even a pat on the head from a human... tells you a lot too.

These soldiers aren't liberators. They never were liberators. They were just pawns in a monstrous war that never should have happened. Many of them are just victims like so many Iraqis. Some of them will be victims long after the war is over.

But some of them are monsters. And the longer this war goes on the more monsters there will be.

If I was an American I wouldn't worry about the war in Iraq. For them it will soon be over. I'd worry about their poor wounded kids for whom that war will never end.

And I'd worry about what's going to happen to their own country.

When those monsters come marching home....

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Fucking Kyoto and the Plan to Bomb Bomb Iran

Canada in hard is it to worry about global warming in this country when it's minus 17 degrees centigrade outside? Answer: really hard.

Especially when you know that Stephen Harper's Big Oil pimps aren't going to do anything to control greenhouse emissions. So Canada can only get warmer. And Big Oil can only get bigger....

"Baird promised to regulate industry which accounts for about half of Canada's emissions. He says this will be done using intensity targets which require companies to produce fewer emissions per unit of output - BUT COULD STILL ALLOW TOTAL EMISSIONS TO INCREASE...."

Huh? I know these oil pimps are never going to kiss the Kyoto. But that's a farce.

But maybe it's just as well...... I mean how much time can you spend worrying about the fate of future generations? You gotta save some time to worry about us.... and more urgent problems. Like where are we ordering out from tonight.? Who is getting the beer...and the weed? And of course the plan to bomb bomb bomb....bomb bomb Iran....

Now that's something to REALLY worry about. But as for all this Kyoto most Canadians...I think I'd rather pass....

I mean am I REALLY going to give up my love for fast cars and motorbikes....or stop flying planes? Am I really not going to jump on to a big stinky polluting jet and head for a sunny beach in March? Or not heat my home or my igloo? Or not spend half an hour in a hot shower.....after an older guy has had his way with me? Or not crank up the air conditioning in the the first drop of sweat on my brow....or my bum? Am I really going to take public transit out to IKEA and bring home a new toilet bowl.....on the bus?

Nah.....not a chance....and I don't think many other Canadians will either.... so I'm afraid we're going to have to be honest and tell the rest of the world....that if they want to kiss the Kyoto to go ahead. But we just can't....coz even if we don't freeze in the dark....we might be really really inconvenienced....

Like being forced to take showers in our underwear...

And if the Kyoto goody goodies don't like that....then we'll just have to hit them with the cruel facts of life.

Energy hogs are energy hogs. Oink. Oink. And we can't change even if we wanted to. Coz we're the oil whore of Amerika. Oinkety Oink. We live in The Great White North.

And life is harsh...

Oh Canada.......(sigh).....does anybody in Florida ....or Australia....want to adopt me?

But you know what I mean....if the planet is going to burn....and we really can't do anything about it. Just like we can't stop the war with Iran. And all those Iranians are going to be bomb bomb bombed. And all those children who haven't been born are going to die of starvation one day. Or be eaten by other hungry people. As crops wither in the fields. And sea levels rise.

How are we going to explain all this to the children who are alive today? That the scientists warned us...but we let the politicians play their stupid games....because we didn't really want to change the way we lived our lives?

Global warming will hurt the poorest countries most. Trying to head it off or reduce it's impact will hurt the richest.

I think we better explain all of this to the children now.

So they're not disappointed later...

Friday, February 02, 2007

How Not to Make Friends in Iraq....

Just jump in a U.S. army humvee and go for a drive....

No new friends....but about fifty new enemies.

In less than three minutes. Holy Surge!!!

No wonder they're wosing...

The Attack of the Climate Change Deniers

So after six years of work some of the world's leading scientists have produced a report on climate change that tells most of us what we already know. That global warming is real....and that humans are to blame.

With the added detail that we've already done enough damage to scorch the planet for a thousand years.

So what are the ReformCon Oil Pimps and Climate Deniers doing? Attacking the Liberals. Over and over again. Repeating the same tired message like a bunch of Stalinist stooges.

And sending the nasty fat neocon hawk John Baird to ....of all places....Gay Paree..

Uh oh...this could be really embarrassing.... The last time we sent Rona Ambrose to a Climate Change conference..... and she spent all of her time doing the Can't Can't and attacking the Liberals.... the civilized world was just shocked.

This time they are going to laugh at us. Or spit at us....

And who can blame them? What can you say about a country that would place the future of its children in the hands of a criminal gang of Big Oil pimps and climate change deniers?

A gang of neocon crazies who draw their inspiration from Oil Pimp Think Tanks like the Fraser Institute

Which has launched an all-out assault on the Climate Change report.

"There is no compelling evidence that dangerous or unprecedented changes are underway...there will remain an unavoidable element of uncertainty as to the extent that humans are contributing to future climate changes...and indeed whether or not such change is a good or a bad thing..."

Talk about the Attack of the Climate Change Deniers...By an institute pumped full of dollars by ExxonMobil.....just like these Yankee Oil Pimps are.

"Scientists and economists have been offered $10,000 each by a lobby group funded by one of the world's largest oil companies to undermine a major climate change report due to be published today."

In Canada Big Oil not only bought themselves an institute for Climate Change Denial. They also bought themselves a government....

History has made the future of the planet the hill the next election will be fought on.

For the sake of the future...for the sake of the children.

Let's make it the hill these oil pimps die on....