Wednesday, January 30, 2008

First They Went after Gay Children...

Now they are going after their parents and supporters...

The other day I wrote a post about how some Catholic school boards would not allow their students to take part in a survey about homophobia.

And I pointed out how the British were doing a better job than we were to try to stop bullying.

In large part because a survey by the gay organization Stonewall, had shown how bad the bully problem was:

A survey of 1,145 gay and lesbian secondary school pupils last summer by Stonewall found that almost two-thirds had been victims of homophobic bullying.

Stonewall's survey found that 41% of respondents reported physical attacks, 17% had received death threats and 12% had been sexually assaulted.

And what needed to be done:

"Gay [students] need to know that they are not alone, that it is all right to talk about it and that it is perfectly normal. The potential bullies need to know that homophobia will not be accepted, that all of us have an equal right to live lives free from bullying...."

So now the British government IS doing something about it.

Meanwhile.... here in Canada where some studies suggest the bully problem is even WORSE.....we can't even get a comprehensive survey done. Because some school boards want to put the dictates of an old homophobic Pope before the interests of Canadian children.

If you want a good idea of how insane this hatred is, just check out how a Canadian union's decision to contribute to PFLAG.

A wonderful group of straight and gay people who try to help gay kids in all kinds of ways. And always get the biggest round of applause at gay parades.

Was greeted by the religious hatemongers.

A homosexual activist lobby has thanked the Canadian Auto Workers Union (CAW), for a donation of $25,000 Cn.

A media release from PFLAG Canada (formerly the Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) says the grant was provided through the CAW's Social Justice Fund to help finance the homosexual lobby group's efforts in Canada's schools to legitimize homosexuality.

Good for the CAW Social Justice Fund. And from what foul cave of depravity do these rabid flying monkeys....and fetus fetishists... come from?

And from what diseased corner of their simian brains did they ever get the crazy idea that young gay people have to LEGITIMIZE who they are? And who they love. In short their humanity.

To them .... or anybody else for that matter. Huh? Wot?

When what we should all be doing is helping young people to become happy productive citizens WHOEVER they are.

You know it makes me really sad to see how Canada, thanks to the evil Cons, is losing its reputation in the world as a progressive country. And where once we led the way when it came to human rights.... now we don't even follow.

But if we can't even protect our school children...from bullies, violence, sexual assault, and the bigotry spawned by religious intolerance. And other countries are doing more to save their children than we are.

What kind of country are we becoming?

And if we want to reclaim OUR Canada and save our beautiful Canadian values.

Shouldn't we start by saving the children?

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Can the Clintons Clean Up their Act?

Hillary and Bill Clinton have been so vilified for their good cop bad cop routine, I'm surprised somebody hasn't started comparing them to Evita and Juan Peron.

You know...she sang and wept for the masses to get them to vote for her. While he beat up those who didn't.

But now that Billo has been burned for playing the race card.

I wonder if they'll take a softer tack, and run a different kind of campaign ad.

To prove that the Clinton Consortium can CLEAN UP its act.

Hmmm. I'm not sure..

The black guy is BRILLIANT. Enough to cause a run on sheets and hoods.

The feminist angle is also good. Takes no shit ....sleeps with who she wants to ....not too PROUD to do the laundry.

But the horny slob wandering around in his underpants would probably remind too many people of Bill. And his har-monica. And that's such an UGLY tune.

So look for both campaigns to become more positive.

Look for the Clintons to start praising Obama... Bin Hussein .... for going to a madrassah and NOT becoming a terrorist. And for doing drugs with a black street gang but not becoming a JUNKIE.

Look for Obama to respond in kind by praising Hillary for wanting the U.S. to have two Presidents in the Whitey House....and for having the strength of character to put naked ambition BEFORE her lust for power.

And of course by thanking Bill...over and over again.... for SERVICING the nation.

Even if he was impeached....and had to give up the har-monica.

Don't cry for me Amerika.

This one ain't over yet....

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Catholic School Boards and the Hate that Kills

As a national gay group launches a survey of homophobia in our schools.

The University of Winnipeg and Egale Canada have launched Canada's first major national student survey of homophobia in schools.

Pendleton said students too often casually toss around "gay" or "fag" as insults in everyday conversation, and too few teachers or fellow students challenge them.

"There's a lot of change in this country for adults, but not really for kids - they're on the front lines...."

Yet another good reason to stop funding Catholic schools.

The Toronto District Catholic School Board has declined to take part in an online survey about homophobia.

Another rejection letter came from the chair of the Wellington Catholic District School Board in Guelph. Rev. Dennis Noon wrote in capital letters "Not interested thank you."

Noon told CBC News homophobia is not a big issue for his board.

What a PIG. Who cares about his fucking board? What about the kids?

Matt at Queer Liberal has written a good post about how homophobia affected him.

And I have written about Canada's shameful bully problem.

As well as many other posts about how I had to fight my way through school after coming out at the age of twelve. And what a bloody experience it was for me AND the bullies.

But it all amounts to this:

When a school board puts its own hideous hatemongering ideology before the interests of children...they don't deserve to exist.

The government should endorse the survey and force the Catholic school boards to take part.

Or take steps to eventually cut their funding.

The sooner we can drive these religious freaks out of our schools.

The safer Canadian children will be...


P.S. If you're a bullied kid in one of those Catholic schools...and nobody will do anything about it.

Do as the kid in this video did....and call for help.

Because NOBODY has the right to hurt or frighten you. Or ignore your pain.

Or even those dreadful Catholic school boards.

Pretend it doesn't exist..

The Sad Story of Knut the Polar Bear

Remember little Knut....the darling of the Berlin Zoo?

How everybody went crazy over him until he grew up and suddenly he wasn't quite so cute.

And then people stopped coming to see him ..... even though he missed them.

So now they're calling him a psycho.

"He is a problem bear, who will never mate and has become addicted to human company and their delighted applause.

"He howls and cries if there's no one out there to show off to [you can hear him from the zoo entrance], and as soon as spectators come, he calms down and starts performing. It's like a circus."

Some of his former fans have turned against him.

Anti-Knut graffiti started popping up on Berlin walls. An internet game was launched challenging players to compete for "Knut steaks" and earn 300 points every Knut they blasted with a shotgun.

And it's not going to get any better.

"He's still young and playful but it's already affecting him mentally and physically and soon he'll just pace about all day and the public won't like that quite so much."

The zoo made a heap of money....the fans went crazy over him. And then deserted him.

Now all we have is a poor sad bear.

Who still looks cute to me.

And three obvious conclusions:

The road to hell ... for humans and sometimes paved with good intentions.

Humans are a really fucked up species.

And bears don't belong in zoos...

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Little Mosque, and Johnzilla Queen of The TransCanada

I don't think I've ever disagreed with my friend Mark. And I don't really want to start now...especially since his brilliant blog is up against mine in the GLBT section of the Canadian Blogging Awards.

And I don't want him to get even MORE votes.

But I thought he was a little too easy on the Little Mosque.

Now I'm sure the skit was quite harmless. And you should be able to laugh at gay people like you laugh at anyone else. But I just gotta say...... I HATE stereotypes.

I think they box people in and keep them down. And in the case of gay people make it harder for kids and others to recognize who they are. Or feel good about themselves.

I mean take this other CBC production...

How is a guy who can't mix or match belts and shoes or socks or whatever....or can't flap his wrists like a butterfly trying to takeoff....or has never shopped for a cheap purse let alone an expensive one...and couldn't interior decorate ANYTHING if my life depended on it ....supposed to feel?

That I'm not gay enough? Huh?

Although if that's what the CBC wants....boy do I have a great pilot for them...

The plot is simple...but dramatic. John Baird, as the Queen Bee Johnzilla, rents a school bus and sets off across the country to sell his phony green plan. He is joined by Kathy "The Dwarf Queen" Shaidle dressed as a nun...who is looking for a place to start a new life.Or just hide.

And by Freda the Climate Change Denier Queen. Who is on a personal mission to find a place in southern Canada where it snows in summer.

And the regulars are joined by others they pick up along the way. Like the seven foot transexual in Winnipeg who takes an instant shining to Shaidle. I think I'll call that steamy episode "Twelve Feet of Passion."

And then there's the arch villain of the series.... Myron Thompson as The Sheriff. Who follows the bus in his police cruiser... and tries to drive it off the road. Except that I'm driving...heh heh heh. So into the ditch he goes. Over and over again.

I mean how can the CBC refuse? More stereotypes and queens than you can count... the magnificence of Canada as a background...low budget car bus chases.... and even MORE daring than Little Mosque!!!!!!

Especially when we arrive in Alberta and the queens must battle rednecks, greenhouse gases AND syphilis.

But seriously....couldn't they just for once portray me and my friends as ordinary guys...who live ordinary lives just like everyone else. Show us saving people on the operating table ...or putting out fires...or driving a bus...or working in a factory....or flying people from city to city.

Or in OUR case just show us hanging out...cursing our bosses....eating too much pizza...drinking too much beer....lamenting the fact that we live in a cold, grey, bloodless country smug with prosperity...and stifling with boredom and mediocrity. Where the Con leader is a nasty control freak. And the Liberal leader is a hopeless dork. And despite the fact that Canada's reputation in the world is sinking like a stone, most Canadians are happy with the way things are So there is no hope. And nothing to do but keep on drinking.

And of course....because we're gay....come up with a whole new DANCE number!

Like these Brazilian guys did. When they got drunk...

Because we do that ALL the time.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!


P.S. Don't forget these other Blogging Awards and to vote for JJ.

Or I'll run you over with my bus...

Friday, January 25, 2008

Afghanistan: Through a Looking-Glass Darkly

Some questions about Afghanistan....

If Stephen Harper now says the decision to stop transferring prisoners was a purely military one.

Something I find very hard to believe. And so does Dave.

Was the decision to hunker down.

However, anybody paying attention – to reporters in the front lines, not from-a-far-country pundits – will know that Canadian troops really haven't been conducting aggressive combat operations in more than a year. Nobody's chasing those "scumbag'' Taliban.

I suspect this has a lot to do with "managing'' casualties during the Van Doos' rotation – Afghanistan deployment a particular vulnerability to Tories in Quebec, so it was believed. Casualties have thus been reduced, those that have occurred almost entirely attributable to the dastardly roadside explosive device and the suicide bomber.

A military one or a political help Stephen Harper get a majority?

And what WAS this dead soldier talking about?

The latest young Canadian soldier to die in Afghanistan wondered whether Canadian Forces were sufficiently equipped to complete their mission, the mayor of his hometown said yesterday.

"He told his grandparents when he came over here during the holidays that if they (the Canadian soldiers) were fighting against Americans, British or Australians, they would all be dead by now...."

"We're fighting against Taliban who are not well organized and we're not well organized ourselves, either..."

And if we are in such bad shape where did anyone get the idea that adding a mere 1,000 troops would make much of a difference?

And if NATO can't provide them?

This is reasonable, but also wishful thinking. More Nato troops cannot be summoned out of thin air after a year's efforts to boost numbers. President Musharraf is only just in charge of Pakistan; the same is true of President Karzai in Afghanistan itself. In these, the panel (and Canada) is bound to be disappointed although it may have more luck in its call for more helicopters and surveillance planes.

Are we counting on the marines....even if Robert Gates says we shouldn't?

And we KNOW that we shouldn't ....because the marines don't work well with even their own army.

A Marine special operations unit has been accused of shooting civilians indiscriminately after a car-bomb attack on its convoy.

Speaking by video link from the Pentagon, Nicholson said the Marine unit often strayed outside its assigned area and did not coordinate with him even though he was the area "battle space" commander. He said he was not informed that the unit was on a mission the day of the shootings.

Because they're trained to kill .....rather than win hearts and minds.

So if we do end up with the we probably will.

Won't we just be a cog in the American Death Machine?

And is that really where we want to go?

I still support this mission as doomed as I think it is...and of course I support our troops.

But if we don't ask some hard questions....instead of just cheerleading.

How can we ever hope to look into that bloody pool .....polluted with lies and cheap politics...

And see more than our own reflection ?

Uh oh.....Sandra "Coca Cola" Buckler pedals furiously backwards.

You don't think General Blowhard Hillier called up Stephen Harper do you?


I do.

Always a tragedy....sometimes a farce...

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Stephen Harper and the End of Canada

So I'm walking to the ferry this evening...and I'm watching the sun go down....and I'm thinking can it really be ONLY two years since Stephen Harper was elected Prime Minister? And Canada's long night began.

Because it seems like FOREVER.

The automaton goes on and on.

But how dark is our country? How FAR has Canada fallen?

Stephen Harper has raped women's rights, disgraced Canada abroad, turned Canada into a nastier meaner place....and our Parliament into a pig pen.

Now him and his morally corrupt government have been caught lying about torture.

"there has not been one single, solitary proven allegation of abuse of detainees ... Rather than producing hogwash and hornswoggle, maybe he can bring some cold, hard facts instead of this torqued rhetoric."

How low can these Con Klowns go?

And as for the Bush/Cheney Stooge-in-Chief he refuses to even say what we are doing with our Afghan prisoners.

You don't think that's because we're sending them to this other Gitmo? Do you?

In a confidential memorandum last summer, the Red Cross said dozens of prisoners had been held incommunicado for weeks or even months in a previously undisclosed warren of isolation cells at Bagram, two American officials said. The Red Cross said the prisoners were kept from its inspectors and sometimes subjected to cruel treatment in violation of the Geneva Conventions, one of the officials said.

As if the case of our Guantanamo Kid wasn't disgusting enough.

Or humiliating enough.

Oh boy. When other governments have to defend our citizens because our government won't know we're in trouble.

Once we were admired around the world as defenders of human rights. Now we're just a rogue nation...of Amerikan stooges.

But hey!! Canadians don't seem to mind. They don't want an election. They're SATISFIED.
“Canadians are pretty satisfied with the way the world is going,” says Darrell Bricker of Ipsos-Reid, a polling company. Too satisfied, it seems, to want to kick the government out.

Yikes. Some people really are EASILY satisfied. In the U.S. young people are full of hope for change. But here we have NONE.

Too bad for Canada. Too bad for me.

But I guess you get the government ....and the country.... you deserve...

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Heath Ledger and the Brokeback Story

Well this should take the edge off all those Brokeback Mountain spoofs.

They won't be able to mock Heath Ledger anymore.

Or they shouldn't..... but they will. Because they weren't really mocking him. They were mocking OUR love.

As for me I just feel sad. What a tragic end for a promising young actor. When I heard the news I couldn't help think what his real gay cowboy friend is going to say.

"It takes courage and it takes strength and it takes that inner person to take hold and not worry what Tom or Harry down the road thinks. But it's hard, you're standing on your own island, singing your own song. I wouldn't have done the things I've done if I had come out earlier in life. It would have changed the paths I took and it wouldn't have been the same. That's what makes it your life."

I remember how I felt when Brokeback Mountain came out. How I was disappointed by the movie....and angered by the neverending parodies.

But also how I respected Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal for having the guts to play gay cowboys in love.

I was lucky.... I found my true love. Heath Ledger apparently looked for it all over Hollywood. Found it. And then lost her.

So I can only hope that this reviewer is wrong.

Ledger leaves behind a career of great promise, a too small body of films and the sense that he never admired his work as much as others did.

I hope he WAS proud of his work...because he didn't do too bad. He was a promising and gutsy young actor.

And that little Brokeback movie will always be special to us..... long after the parodies are forgotten.

Bigger than it really was. And now even sadder....

Bye bye cowboy. Cue the sunset.

The movie is over.

Life goes on...


P.S. Guess who is planning to picket Ledger's funeral?

The Lost Legacy of Martin Luther King

"When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

On the day when America honours the great Martin Luther King. And some worry that his full legacy is being lost.

Nearly 40 years after the assassination of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., some say his legacy is being frozen in a moment in time that ignores the full complexity of the man and his message.

Worry that people are forgetting how unpopular his views had become. Even on the left.

By 1968, King's opposition to Vietnam and his unwavering commitment to nonviolence made him largely an outcast. The far right still despised him and everything he represented. But even more telling was the rejection he received from the left. He endured editorials from the Democratic establishment calling for a moratorium on civil rights and a break from marches. He was called a "disservice to his cause" and his people.

A reminder of what the great man had to say about a crazy war.

With some pictures from the latest one...

Also some words from Barack Obama at King's church yesterday.

If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll acknowledge that our own community has not always been true to King’s vision of a beloved community. We have scorned our gay brothers and sisters instead of embracing them.

Brothers and sisters, we cannot walk alone.

In the struggle for peace and justice, we cannot walk alone.

In the struggle for opportunity and equality, we cannot walk alone

In the struggle to heal this nation and repair this world, we cannot walk alone.

Before Obama and Hillary attacked each other like pitbulls tonight.

And finally a picture of George Bush and a black child today.

That just about says it all.

Or at least speaks to how I feel.

Whatever you do.... don't let our differences... gender, race, or anything else DIVIDE us.

Remember Martin's journey. Focus on bringing down the REAL enemy.

Because our hopes for a better more just and peaceful world are riding on your shoulders. And if you let us down.

We will never EVER forgive you...

Sunday, January 20, 2008

The "Gay" Superbug and the Big Smear

Five days after writing a story about a study that suggested that a new "gay disease" was threatening to kill us all. And swallowing it hook, line and petri dish. The New York Times now says it isn't a gay disease after all.

And so do the people who did the study....or the BIG SMEAR.

“We deplore negative targeting of specific populations in association with MRSA infections or other public health concerns,” it concluded. Dr. Henry Chambers, one of the report’s authors and a professor of medicine at the university, said he was surprised by how the report had been spun.

As for the idiot researcher, Bien Diep, who had breathlessly declared that if the infection ever spread to the "general population" it would be "unstoppable." Well he's backtracking too.

Mr. Diep, 29, said on Friday he regretted not being more thorough in communicating his research to reporters. He said that the term “general population” was part of medical jargon used in the report, which did not translate well.

“It’s really meant to be used to mean all inclusive, including the men-who-have-sex-with-men population,” he said.

But only after the Centers for Disease Control rapped his homophobic knuckles.

Indeed, the Centers for Disease Control, which helped finance the study, affirmed on Wednesday that the disease was not sexually transmitted or limited to a certain type of person. It is transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, the agency said in a statement, and is widespread in hospitals and among hospital workers.

“These infections occur in men, women, adults, children and persons of all races and sexual orientations,” the statement read, adding that while the particular strain identified in the report had been found in gay men, it had also been found in people who were not gay.

Which made me wonder.... after noting how crazy bigots like Kathy Shaidle had used the original story to whip up hatred against gays... how many stories would be written to CORRECT the record?

The answer? According to Google News .....only TWO.

Compared to 154 versions of this one.

Which leaves me with a few troubling questions. One FUCKED UP are the priorities of our idiot and homophobic media?

Two... what kind of a gay porn site runs pictures of guys in BATHING suits?

And three... if I don't think this event should be cancelled?

In the name of safety, the U.S. Naval Academy is considering an overhaul of one of its most bizarre traditions: the annual ritual in which a thousand first-year midshipmen struggle to conquer a 21-foot granite obelisk coated with 200 pounds of lard.

Am I DEFILING the hunky pole climbers by looking at their pictures.... with my gay eyes .... on one of the many gay blogs that post pictures of shirtless guys ... like the one I lifted this one from?

I HOPE so...but probably not.

So do you think that it would be possible to grease up the pointy obelisk with so much LARD .... I could shove it all the way up the collective ass of our idiot and irresponsible media?

Or watch Kathy Shaidle ride it like a wingnut cowboy?

Now that would be LOVELY.

Aren't we lucky we're so beautiful?

Aren't we lucky we're so STRONG?

Saturday, January 19, 2008

What A Harper Majority Would Look Like

Ever since I began blogging I've been been desperately seeking a way to illustrate what could happen to Canada... and to decent Canadians ...if our sinister angry leader Stephen Harper ever won a majority.

I've tried EVERYTHING.... stick drawings....crude photoshops....bad music videos. I even tried to make a short movie that takes place entirely in a morgue that doubles as a crematorium. On a busy day. But it wasn't HORRIBLE enough.

But now I've think I've FINALLY found it.!!!!!

Think of the nasty neocons as the Japanese Giant Hornets.

And Canada as the beehive.... maybe the crazy Hornet Harper is too FAT to fly. But you get the idea.

If we want to make sure OUR pupae have a future.

We've got to squish these Con bugs.

Before they destroy the hive...

Friday, January 18, 2008

The Gay Disease That Wasn't

A few days ago the media was full of stories about a virulent new bacterial infection that was spreading among gay men in San Francisco and Boston.

The story was extremely alarming and full of talk about how if it ever entered the "general population" it would be UNSTOPPABLE. And how there appeared to be a link to gay sex. And the implicit message was that those filthy gay sex maniacs are going to KILL us all.

Having read the complete report I tried to point out in this post that there was something terribly wrong with the way the story was being spun. How NO connection to sex had been made. How the MRSA bug was already out there. How it wasn't a "gay disease."

But that didn't stop the disgusting homophobes at Small Dead Animals from coming out from under their rocks...and spewing hate at the gay community.

I'm not going to link to the post that was written by that foul bigot Kathy Shaidle ....under the headline: So What colour Ribbon will THIS be?

But here are some of the comments:

The ribbon colour should match that of dead flesh.

Do you think that God knew something that we didn't when he brought down his laws about homosexuality?

The only people who can be comfortable around a gay people these days are other gay people.It is not possible for gay people to coexist with straight people unless they opt to drink a cup of shut the f**k up every morning. Their perversion is like a religion.

A gay guy with flesh eating disease ? A politically incorrect person (not me) would refer to that as rotting fruit.

Something gay men do that is common amongst them all is causing them to be 13 times more likely to be infected. We all know this to be anal sex with more than one partner. So what does this tell us? It isn't rocket don't have to believe in God to realize that when you mess with the natural order of things, there are dire consequences. How many more dead bodies do you want as proof?

I'm not a religious man at all.but if these were my only two choices, I would rather live with people who spread the gospel than with people who spread deadly diseases. How is this a "normal persons" problem?

You f*ck a monkey ... you get monkey problems.

It's truly disgusting stuff ....aimed at an already victimized community.To try to further marginalize it... and whip up a murderous hatred of gay people.

And what makes it even WORSE is that the story itself is bullshit. As the Centres for Disease Control has clarified.

MRSA is a common cause of skin infections throughout the United States. These infections occur in men, women, adults, children, and persons of all races and sexual orientations, and are known to be transmitted by close skin-to-skin contact.

The strains of MRSA described in the recent Annals of Internal Medicine have mostly been identified in certain groups of men who have sex with men (MSM), but have also been found in some persons who are not MSM. It is important to note that the groups of MSM in which these isolates have been described are not representative of all MSM, so conclusions can not be drawn about the prevalence of these strains among all MSM.

The groups studied in this report may share other characteristics or behaviors that facilitate spread of MRSA, such as frequent skin-to-skin contact.

Like a gym ....or a cart in a community supermarket...but not necessarily anal or ANY other kind of sex.

MRSA is typically transmitted through skin-to-skin contact, which occurs during a variety of activities, including sex. There is no evidence at this time to suggest that it MRSA is a sexually-transmitted infection in the classical sense.

So much for all that hate. So much for the science. So much for the crappy media coverage.

At the end of the day all I can do is wonder how much more DAMAGE has been done?

How much LONGER will I have to fight these truly diseased homophobes?

And of course the biggy.

When will this MADNESS end?

P.S. I want to acknowledge the efforts of the decent straight blogger Jeff Davidson who blogs here......and who jumped into that hideous Small Dead Animals thread to defend us.

And of course got bashed by the bigots. But still managed to make them look even MORE like the crazy hatemongers they are. Thanks Jeff. Good work!!

Oh final thing... Why is the racist AND homophobic bigot Kathy Shaidle blogging at the CBC?

Huckabestiality and the Insanity of it All

I don't have much time to blog tonight. But I thought I'd leave you with a few troubling questions to ponder:

(1) Has Mike Huckabee gone completely off the deep end?

"I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that's what we need to do -- to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view."

Is it a some have suggested.... of huckabestiality?

I think the radical view is to say that we’re going to change the definition of marriage so that it can mean two men, two women, a man and three women, a man and a child, a man and animal.

And can I DARE to hope....please Jebesus PLEASE.... that Huckabeast will win the Republican nomination?

(2) Will Mitt Romney be able to slip into his Mormon pyjamas...and beat the rap that he is too TOLERANT of homosexuality?

Or will Hucky pull Mitty's panties right off him ....and nail him with his shining cross?

(3) Will somebody....anybody..... get to Scooby. Before the scientologists do?

And of course the biggest and most TROUBLING questions of all:

Why do so many straight people find gay people so FASCINATING?

And what WOULD they do without us?

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Afghanistan: The Farce and The Tragedy

Whatever Pentagon bum boy Peter MacKay says about this stinging slap in the face.

U.S. Defence Secretary Robert Gates wasn't talking about Canada when he verbally attacked the skills of the allied troops working in southern Afghanistan, Defence Minister Peter MacKay said Wednesday.

Don't believe a word of it. What the Pentagon Death Machine REALLY think about our troops....and the British and the Dutch... can be summed up in one paragraph in this story.

"The wide view there, which I hear from Americans, is that the NATO military forces are taking on a Soviet mentality," said one senior U.S. military veteran of Afghanistan. "They're staying in their bases in the south, they're doing very little patrolling, they're trying to avoid casualties, and they're using air power as a substitute for ground infantry operations, because they have so little ground infantry."

So much for our glorious mission. So much for all that rah rah Hockey Night in Afghanistan jingo bullshit. Now we've got a "Soviet mentality." Now my U.S. Marine cousins are calling us the Chicken Force.

Which is infuriatingly unfair but EXACTLY where I knew we would end up. In the rubble of our reconstruction effort. Caught between the kill them all and let God sort them out approach of the Americans.

And the last gasp Soviet approach of hunkering down...and when in the slightest trouble calling in the Flying Bomb Boys.

Just like the Americans do all the time.

The irony is we used to criticize the Americans for their use of air power. Now they're accusing NATO of doing the same thing....and of fucking up the war for the hearts and minds of the poor Afghans.

Can you believe THAT ? How far has this doomed mission fallen?

But of course it was all so PREDICTABLE. The bravery of our troops was NEVER going to make up for their lack of numbers.

The question is who to believe now ?The Bush stooge Peter MacKay.... who assures us that everything is under control. That our troops have the Taliban on the run. And that victory is around the corner.

Even if the enemy is in the heart of Kabul.

Or the Pentagon War Lords who think our brave fighting force is about as formidable and as RISK AVERSE as this mighty army....

To be continued Pakistan. Where Stephane Dion gets to slap Mullah Omar. Once.

Which I guess would be funny if Trooper Renaud wasn't on his way home tonight. So much for the Chicken Force.

Oh Afghanistan. Sometimes a farce.

Always a tragedy...

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Why I Must Win the Canadian Blogging Awards

When you start seeing bloggers begin their posts something like this:

I'm not one for self promotion....but I think you should definitely vote for my blog. You ALL should. In fact I BEG you all to vote for my blog.....because I really LIKE it. And my mother AND my Facebook friends think it's really KOOOOOOOL!!!

Besides ....even though some say all the other blogs on the list are better than mine....and even though I nominated MYSELF... and have only been blogging for a few months.... I NEED to win.....because my humble blog is sooooo important to me....and winning would be AWESOME!!!!


Then you know it's time for The Canadian Blogging Awards.

And this year I'm happy to report that this humble blog was nominated (thanks Scott and JJ) in TWO categories.

And that the first one should be a cinch.

Because while there may be better bloggers than me on the list the scrupulously fair James Bow. NOBODY is as nonpartisan as I am.

I mean I've NEVER seen a politician I liked. Or trusted. I hate them ALL!!!!

Of course ...I hate the Stephen Harper Party more than ANY other party in the entire world. And I consider Great Fat Leader to be the Creature from Alberta's Black Lagoon. A blight on the land. And a foul stench in the nostrils of decent Canadians.

But I don't think much of the dorky opposition either. Stephane Dion may be the best Frenglish-speaking comedic character since Hercule Poirot. But he's a anvil....a humungous heavy metal BAGEL around the neck of the Liberal Party.

Then there's Jack Layton who reminds me of a helium balloon... without a string. Where ARE we going Jack? After the nasty neocons I hope.

Hell No!!!! We're going to teach those Liberals a lesson they'll NEVER forget....aargh!!!!


Oh we're not going ANYWHERE...

Or the Bloc...the separatists without a cause....who are so ABSURD they should all be wearing showercaps like Duckman their leader once did. I figure if they're going to be in Ottawa at least they should ENTERTAIN us. Eh?

And as for the Green Party... all I can say is: WHY?

You can't get more nonpartisan than that. So I figure THAT one is in the bag...

It's THIS one I'm worried about. Shite. I hate the smell of defeat in the morning.

But you know ....again ....just because there are better bloggers than me on that Mark and Bruce. and doesn't mean you shouldn't vote for moi. On the contrary I think you MUST.

Never mind those goody goody gay boys. Take a walk on the wild side.This country is already DYING of boredom. We need more of that Gay Boy from Green Gables stuff like we need an ENEMA!!!!

You know S├ębastien is always saying this about my blogging: "Simon, mediocrity is its own reward." To try to cheer me up.

But for me it's just not SATISFYING enough. I wanna be a contender. I wanna be FAMOUS!!! I want every fat ass blogging ADDICT in this country to tune in to a LIVE feed of me just sitting there TYPING ...and laughing. And shake their heads and mumble...Awesome..... just fucking AWESOME. Over and over again. I wanna be a FRIGGIN BLOGGING GOD!!!!!!!!!

So that's why I need your votes. More than they do.

BTW....did I tell you I love dogs?

And that this old guy is hoping his little heart out that I win?

Because he's very worried that should the unthinkable happen and I LOSE..... I could get sooooo depressed I might forget to feed him.

For a week. Wouldn't THAT be awful?

And I can see how some people might think it would be YOUR fault for not voting for me. So don't. I mean DO.

WTF..... if these people can beat their own drums....

So can I.

Tum de dum tum tum .

Good luck EVERYONE!!!!


P.S. Ok ok that I've had my little bit of's still allowed in Canada isn't it? I should be serious for a moment and tell you that I think my friend Mark deserves to win the GLBT award. Because he writes....and draws... exclusively about OUR issues. He puts our cause FIRST. And his really is a KOOOOOL blog!


Maybe next year...

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Flesh-Eating Superbug and the "Gay Disease"

As I lay on my comfy hospital bed this morning watching my blood drain away...with the nurses coming in and out of my little room and spoiling me rotten as usual ... I couldn't help but think of how different it must have been for gay men like me during the Plague Years.

When our poor brothers with AIDS were often left to lie in soiled sheets for hours or go hungry...because people were too frightened to go near them. Or even go near HEALTHY gay people because they thought AIDS was a gay disease.

And then as I dozed off .....I remembered a picture I saw during the SARS crisis of an Asian restaurant owner alone in his usually packed dining room.... after all his regular customers had deserted him. Because in their ignorance and fear they thought SARS was an ASIAN disease.

And how I wished I was in Toronto so I could go to his restaurant ..... sit by the window so everyone in the street could see me...and order EVERYTHING on the menu. Because that kind of irrational fear is SCARY. And I wanted to show that poor man that I wasn't afraid.

Well guess what? Now I AM afraid. Because it's our turn again.

A deadly strain of the superbug MRSA which can lead to a flesh-eating form of pneumonia has emerged. Research suggests it may be more prevalent among the gay community - the gay San Francisco district of Castro appears to have been hardest hit

The new strain is resistant to treatment by many front-line antibiotics.

It causes large boils on the skin, and in severe cases can lead to fatal blood poisoning or necrotising pneumonia, which eats away at the lungs.

Never mind that a bug doesn't discriminate. That it'll jump any human it can. Just ask Columbus.

Never mind that we don't know how many people got it from sex....or how many got it from working out in a gym.... or from handling a supermarket cart. Or that MRSA illnesses are a growing problem everywhere.

Or that they can strike any group of people first.

This one will be seen as another GAY disease. And because it can DISFIGURE people as well as kill them .... and unlike AIDS you CAN pick it up from casual contact, the panic could be even worse.

So just like the right-wingers and religious fanatics used AIDS to attack us ALL during the Plague Years.

Like this group of Young Republicans picketing a Democratic Party convention.

I'm not surprised that their modern counterparts are already calling for gays to be quarantined or killed.

I thought AIDS was bad enough. I guess they will get us all killed through their “choice” of lifestyle and spread their misery to one and all. Misery loves company.

Quarantine. Learn the lesson of AIDS.
They can have sex with each other in quarantine until they die from the bacterial infection

It couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of people. Every one of them who is transported to the great bath house in the one who cannot pass on any of the viruses connected with the community.

In Iran these sickos would’ve been executed and this would have a quick end put to it

Just like I'm afraid many people in Canada will think ....even if they won't say it aloud.

I woke up with a start to find one of my favourite nurses bending over me and laughing.

"Simon how could you fall asleep and not call me?" she said. " The bag is so full it's ready to explode. And what WERE you dreaming about ? "

Since she needs more grief like I need a hole in my head.... I just smiled, winked and said:

"It was a yummy dream....mmmm." And she laughed.

But actually it was a nightmare.

Here we go again...


P.S. In case you wondered why I have to get my blood drained six or seven times a year... it's to keep my hemochromatosis.

Or my Celtic Curse in check.

And my public service announcement is the same one. If you have any of the symptoms. Check with your doctor and get yourself tested.

Because they may call it the Celtic Curse.

But in Canada it could be ANYONE...