Good evening girls and boys and welcome to my weekly roundup of the Wackiest Moments of Crazy Religion!!!
And this week we are BLESSED with soooooo many good examples.
For starters...did you know that Jesus apparently believed in the miraculous powers of naked rubdowns?
A pastor has been convicted of sexually assaulting a parishioner to whom he gave healing baths and naked rubdowns to rid her of evil spirits.
In dramatic testimony lasting five days, the victim said he gave her black magic baths, for which he charged $150, to rid her of evil spirits, then ordered her to stand up and drip dry while he rubbed her naked body with brown ointment.
Or speaking of evil spirits can you believe that the Freddy Monster is on the loose? Again.
And that even though Calgary's nutty old Rasputin has compared gay people to prostitutes and thinks that gay marriage is worse than child abuse. And is now trying to abolish the Human Rights Commission.
So him and his homophobes can treat gay kids in our schools ...like the Romans treated St Sebastian....
Freaky Freddy STILL hasn't been locked up in an insane asylum. And even though he's sticking his nose into politics again...... his church STILL hasn't been taxed.
And then of course there is Pope Benny in the perfumed gardens of the Vatican ....who has been ordering up a Global Pervert Prayerthon for all those children his priests abused.
Mumbo. Jumbo. Boy Bumbo. The spirit was strong... but the priests were horny. Sorry.
But sadly enough doesn't have any money to give the victims. Because he loves his BLING too much.
Even though I figure just that big cockroach hat alone must have enough gold in it to fix the problem of poverty in Africa.
And then there's the saddest story of them all. The man who thought he saw the Mark of the Beast on his hand.
So he cut it off and cooked it.
A man who believed he bore the "mark of the beast" used a circular saw to cut off one hand, then he cooked it in the microwave
Now I'm not blaming the poor man...he was obviously mentally ill.
But where does this INSANE stuff come from?
"And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell."
You know the more I look at crazy religion.
The SCARIER it seems....