Monday, April 30, 2012

Stephen Harper and the Wall of Shame

Well I see we are still a couple of days away from the one-year anniversary of the dark day Great Ugly Leader won his precious majority.

But that hasn't stopped some in our Con media from already rushing to buff his bronzed legend buttocks. 

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Why I support the Quebec Student Strike

It's reached a point where I almost can't bear to read or watch any MSM coverage of the Quebec student strike.

Because all I usually see is a bunch of kooky old right-wing pundits flapping their gums, or hissing like kettles. Like the grotesque Con dwarf Rex Murphy.

Who should have been locked in a padded cell, or a broom closet, for writing such fascist tripe. 

So I thought I should straighten him and the others out by pointing out some other facts:

Friday, April 27, 2012

Is Stephen Harper Losing His Marbles?

I told you last night I've never seen Stephen Harper look so weak and so vulnerable. So wonderfully insane, so beautifully SCARED.

Well, that's the photographic evidence, and this is why.

The federal New Democrats are enjoying a rise in support that puts them ahead of the Conservatives following the election of new leader Thomas Mulcair, according to a new national poll.

Woody Woodworth and the Egg Man

Gawd. What a horrible way to begin my day.

All I could think of was Stephen "Woody" Woodworth polishing his big teeth, and preparing for his big day.

Even my egg started to look like him, and  I hardly dared boil it, in case it should hatch. For who knows when life begins eh?

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Stephen Woodworth and the Abortion Debate

Oh. My. Gilead. When I saw those women in red on Parliament Hill today, I thought  the Harper Cons were getting ready to re-enact their favourite scene from The Handmaid's Tale.

When the women are brought before the men, told to be submissive as Lord Harper's missionary church commands them. And a gnarly old man gets to grope their rights, and instructs them to breed or ELSE.

And sure enough they were. 

The Wild Hog Gang and the New Alberta

Wow. What a dramatic finish. The rednecks were squealing with anticipation. The beer was on ice.
The Big Oil Barbie was so sure she would win.

But in the end the old wild hog couldn't make it up the hill of its own excrement and bigotry.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Limo Madness: The Expensive Adventures of Bev Oda

Oh no. Somebody call Limousine Anonymous. I see poor Bev Oda has had another unfortunate relapse. 

Oda was originally supposed to stay at the Grange St. Paul's Hotel, the site of the conference on international immunizations she was in London to attend. The Savoy is two kilometres away and Oda hired a car and driver to shuttle her between the hotels and around London over her three-day stay.

And as usual, the taxpayers were stuck with the bill. Except that this time not only were the limos expensive. So was the even fancier hotel. 

Monday, April 23, 2012

Earth Day and the Harper Cons

I spent a really quiet Earth Day. Paying homage to the sun, using as little energy as possible, and wishing I was in Montreal. 

Saturday, April 21, 2012

The Ridiculous Liberal NDP Marijuana War

Oh no. Bang me with a bong. What a gaffe. I thought 4/20 was every day of the week. 

Not an annual protest.

A crowd estimated at more than 10,000 people gathered outside the Vancouver Art Gallery Friday for the annual marijuana smoking event known as “4/20.”

That just keeps getting bigger and bigger. 

Friday, April 20, 2012

Vic Toews and the Prison State

Well I was glad to see Vic Toews pop up on the TV today after his recent physical and mental Vikileaks problems. And I was also glad to see he looked as scary as ever.

But sadly my joy at seeing him back on his feet didn't last long eh? Because as soon as he opened his mouth nothing he said made any sense. 

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Rob Ford and the Little Farm (Continued)

About six months ago I wrote a post about the little farm on the Toronto Islands that Rob Ford was threatening to close down.

Soon after that I thought it had been saved. But now it's on the chopping block again.

Even though just ONE weekend of ferry ticket sales would ensure its survival. And Ford threw away $60 million by canceling a registration fee for cars, in a city choking in its own fumes.

Now to add insult to injury it looks as if the little farm's survival may come at this price. 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Danielle Smith and the War on Canada

Uh oh. Somebody call a tow truck. I see Danielle Smith and her Wild Hog Party's triumphal ride desperate race to the finishing line, is temporarily bogged down in a redneck swamp of pig shit and bigotry.

With Big Oil's Bubbah Barbie hiding from the public and the media.

The Conservatives said Wildrose candidates are “missing in action” from Fort McMurray to Lethbridge and the NDP said Smith — in a bid to preserve her party’s lead in the polls — is dodging tough questions about her stance on climate change and candidates’ social views.

So she can get enough sleep, get some more coaching from her campaign manager Tom "Strangelove" Flanagan... 

And somehow find the strength to massage the fleshy hind quarters of yet another Wild Hog bigot.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Danielle Smith and the Lake of Fire

Until about ten days ago I clung to the hope that all I ever needed to know about Danielle Smith was that she was the new Evita of the Alberta Teabaggers, and Big Oil's Bubbah Barbie doll. The one with the big wheels. 

That she had vowed to make it easier to drink and drive. That she had been cruelly accused of not breeding a good Alberta cow. And that Tom "Strangelove" Flanagan was her campaign manager. 

Because that's enough eh?

But of course now that polls suggest she could be the next Premier of the right-wing petro province, I've been forced to pay more attention to the Wildhog campaign and the stench is overwhelming. 

Monday, April 16, 2012

The RoboCon Scandal and the Con War Room

Well I suppose it had to happen eh? Sooner or later the investigation into the RoboCon scandal had to lead all the way to the Con War Room.

Elections Canada investigators on the trail of the "Pierre Poutine" suspect in the robocalls case have been asking questions about the actions of staff at Conservative party headquarters in Ottawa.

And start to look more and more like Canada's Watergate. 

Nearly a year after the investigation began, the agency is trying to determine why database records provided by the party appear to be missing entries that could help identify who downloaded the phone numbers used to make fraudulent robocalls, according to a source familiar with the probe.

Peter MacKay and the F-35 Songs

Golly. I'm soooo jealous. Why can't I be as popular as Peter Mackay? Everywhere you go these days you find people singing songs about him.

First there was this brilliant piece by our very own Jim Bobby.

Now let's have a big hand for the Canadian Beaver Band...

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Stephen Harper's Summit Humiliation

Holy Chiquita Banana. What an embarrassment.There he was, looking like Obama's Sancho Panza, or the Dirty Oil Man.

Making an idiot out of himself. Again. 

Canada and the United States are finding themselves at odds with Latin American countries on two thorny issues — the war on drugs and the exclusion of Cuba — at a summit of hemispheric leaders in Colombia.

Trying to keep Cuba out of the Summit of the Americas. When everybody knows that the cruel Yankee embargo has caused the wonderful Cuban people all kinds of misery. 

The Lonely Old Man and his Music

When I was in university I used to volunteer once a week at a nursing home in Montreal's East End. S├ębastien used to play the piano and sing French songs, I would play the guitar, my lab Kerouac would lick them all to death. And we all had a hoot.

Except for one woman who would just sit there on her plastic chair looking sad, never said a word, and couldn't be reached by anyone.

It bothered me a lot. Because if loneliness hurts when you're young, when you're old it must be devastating. And if you can't reach them you can't do anything to try to cheer them up.

So you can imagine how I felt when I saw this video about a lonely old guy and the magic of music... 

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Stephen Harper and the Con Photo-Op Machine

When I first saw this picture a couple of years ago, I remember being seized with the sudden urge to run to the toilet, and vomit violently. And of course I never forgave Bryan Adams.

But now that I've heard his version of what happened I'm feeling a little more generous.

It turns out he was just another prop in the Con Photo-Op Machine's relentless campaign to try to make Stephen Harper look half human. Just an ordinary guy who, when he's not keeping us safe from terrorists and labour unions, slashing jobs, stealing pensions, or turning us into a Petro/Police state.

Likes to play the piano, write books about hockey, and cuddle up with his kittens...

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Hate Crimes and the Fatal Blindness

I'm glad to see that reported hate crimes are down in Canada. It's really good news for most people. Just not so good if you're gay. 

The report said, though, that while the rate of racial hate crimes was down 20 per cent from 2009 and the rate of religion-based incidents was down 17 per cent, rate of crimes linked to sexual orientation was relatively stable.

Which is disturbing eh? For who wants to be attacked by strangers on the way to the supermarket? Or watch your lover's head being bashed in with a baseball bat. Just for who you are, and who you love.

But what's even more disturbing about this story is that the CBC, and CTV, and a number of other media outlets forgot to mention this bloody little detail.

Gays were more likely to be victims of violent hate crimes. Two-thirds of incidents targeting gays were violent. A third of racially-motivated offences and 17 per cent religiously-motivated crimes were violence.

Talk about a fatal blindness. That old devil homophobia still blinds so many.

Golly. You don't think Stephen Harper's government might launch a national anti-homophobia campaign? Like so many other countries have. Do you think we could have a blog burst like we just had on the abortion motion? Or a Twitter tornado?

Nah. I didn't think so either. 

But I'm not discouraged eh? I'm determined to live long enough to not collect a pension and die in poverty. In my bed instead of on some sidewalk. I have studied martial arts, which might be helpful.

And if somebody should ask will it ever be safe to be gay in Canada?

I would say DEFINITELY. 

For I have seen the future and it's BEAUTIFUL.

I may hate pink eh? But when I see young Canada, in all its glorious diversity, standing up for bullied kids, and against the hate that kills. And I see how the movement is spreading across the country.

I know that they will be the ones who will finally destroy the old demon homophobia.

The present is still dangerous.

But the future will be safer...

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Bobo Cons and the Chinese Menace

Golly. I see Peter MacKay was in the hot seat again today. Claiming he's smart enough to keep those fancy jets from costing us an arm and a leg. And failing miserably.

When questioned by reporters Tuesday, MacKay cited segments of Ferguson's report that he said showed Parliamentary Budget Officer Kevin Page had also left operating costs out of his accounting on the F-35s.

But MacKay was actually citing the Department of National Defence's own accounting in the auditor general's report, not Page's. DND took out the operating costs for its lower estimate, while Page included them in his own $14-billion figure.

Gawd. Now can we call him Bobo? 

Yes. But don't laugh too loudly, because now we finally know why the Cons want those jets soooooo badly. It's not to defend us from the Russians, it's for when we go to war with China.  

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Progressive Bloggers and the Abortion Battle

I must admit that when I first saw the battle over abortion raging at Progressive Bloggers, my first instinct was to duck and cover. Because I've seen it all before, and it always ends badly.

It's the kind of fight where the one who tries to break it up ends up in hospital. And everyone loses, except the real enemy.

But now that I've found my courage at the bottom of a bottle. Even though I don't usually drink. And now that I've written my will, I figure I have to say something  before it gets even worse. 

So here goes. 

Monday, April 09, 2012

Mike Wallace and The Homosexuals

I see that Mike Wallace is being given a grand send off and is being called a journalistic hero.

The newspapers are full of glowing obituaries, and TV stations have been running clips of his most famous interviews and documentaries.

But funnily enough nobody mentioned the famous documentary LGBT activist Wayne Besen has described as the single most destructive hour of anti-gay propaganda in U.S. history. 

Sunday, April 08, 2012

My Easter Message and the Real Christians

Well I must admit I can't think of a better Easter message, than this one outside a church in Oregon. 

Tom Tate, the pastor of Rose City Park United Methodist Church in northeast Portland, told The Blaze that the sign shows his 385-member church's "radical hospitality" towards people who feel alienated from faith.

"The ones that are upset think we are pitting atheism against Christianity," Pastor Tate told The Huffington Post, "We are actually pitting kindness against hatefulness."

Because goodness knows so many Christians, and other religious folk, can be so hateful. 

Saturday, April 07, 2012

Bully The Movie: When Horror Meets Blindness

It never made any sense. A movie where children kill each other gets a PG-13 rating, a documentary about children getting bullied gets rated R. So I'm glad to see that Bully has been reclassified.

I'm happy that kids are going to be able to see it, and that the new rating will make it easier for schools to use it as an educational tool. But I'm really hoping that more adults will see it as well.

Because they're the only ones who can change the situation, a lot of them are living in denial, so they need really need to see what happens when horror meets blindness 

Friday, April 06, 2012

Stephen Harper and the Moral Abyss

Holy horses's head. Let's put it this way eh? It wasn't exactly the Con mob's finest hour.

First they were fingered by the Auditor General for diddling the truth.

So that's it then: They knew and they lied. To Parliament. To all of us...if the AG is to be believed — one has to qualify, so explosive are his remarks — then the Harper government's credibility is in tatters, as is the prime minister's personal credibility. With more than three years to run in their mandate, the Tories have driven the bus into a concrete wall of their own making.

Then Stephen Harper invoked the mob's Code of Silence, so he didn't have to answer the obvious question. 

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Bob Rae's Ridiculous Assault on Thomas Mulcair

I'm sorry to see that Liberals and the NDP are attacking each other, and that Bob Rae is calling Tom Mulcair a "mini-Harper." 

“If there was any doubt in anyone’s mind in Canada, let me just say that the era of love and good feeling is clearly over inside the NDP. It’s a new regime,” he said.

“We’ve now moved to the world where anger apparently is better than love, arrogance is now better than humility and petulance is much stronger than respect.”

Because I'd rather see the opposition parties focus all their fire on the Cons. Mulcair is no Jack Layton, but no mini-Harper either.

And although I can understand why Rae is angry at the way the new leader is asserting himself, the truth is that thanks to the NDP leadership race, Rae has had the stage to himself for months. He has had trouble recognizing that the situation has changed. 

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

The Cons and the Man Who Would Drown his Dog

Uh oh. I see Stephen Harper ran into a little moral turbulence today, courtesy of the Auditor General.

But he just shrugged it off, claiming he never said we would buy the fancy jets that don't work, and we don't need.  After spending years telling us they were essential.

Not purchasing the F-35 presented a “real danger” that the country would be unable to defend our airspace and our sovereignty. We would be left susceptible to terrorist bombings and a Russian invasion. This was about “lives” and “jobs.” It was “disappointing” and “sad” and “unbelievable” that anyone would even think of doing otherwise. This went beyond politics. To not purchase the F-35, would leave our air force with an “operational gap,” isolate ourselves from our international allies and fail to sufficiently support the troops. Buying the F-35 was the “only option.” This was a “crusade.”

And he won't fire Peter MacKay, or kill the program, like most Canadians want.

Or even answer this question:

NDP Leader Tom Mulcair said that if Harper knew the wrong figures were given to Canadians, it's "unconscionable" and if he didn't, it's "incompetence." Either way, Harper and his lead ministers on the file should be held accountable, he said.

No doubt believing that if he can fool a lot of Canadians with his last budget, he can get away with ANYTHING. Even if his budget only helps Alberta. 

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

My New Version of the Brawl on the Hill

Gawd. I'm in the doghouse again. Some of my friends have been beating up on me for my post about the Thrilla on the Hilla.

For they were shocked and appalled that I should "glorify" such a brutal spectacle, and then crudely bait the Cons. And by so doing lower myself to their level.

I tried to explain to them that they don't call me Raging Simon, or the Beast from Montreal, for nothing eh? And the only reason got carried away in the heat of the moment  was after listening to Ezra Levant's grotesque commentary.

I told them they should fast forward this video to the two minute mark and ask themselves whether THEIR heads wouldn't explode to hear such nerdy nonsense ...

Monday, April 02, 2012

The Con War on Information Continues

In most countries a budget is a tool to control expenses. In Great Robot Leader's Canada it's a weapon to control information.

Exhibit A: Stats Canada. 

Statistics Canada, the national statistics agency, informed its staff late last week that it has been ordered to chop $33.9-million from its planned spending by April 1, 2014.

“The actions to be taken involve a mixture of new efficiency measures and program reductions. Achieving the required savings will necessarily mean a reduction in Statistics Canada’s work force.”

Exhibit B: The Information Commissioner. 

Sunday, April 01, 2012

The Night Justin Trudeau Humiliated the Cons

OK. So I admit I was a bit worried about this one eh? In fact, to be perfectly honest I thought that Patrick Brazeau was going to KILL Justin Trudeau.

And so did the Ezra Levant... 

Because in the minutes leading up to the match he was in a frenzy, raving like a crazy man about how he had always hoped somebody would punch Trudeau in the face. And now it was LEGAL !!!!!

"Look at the tats !!! Look at the shoulders on the man !!! " the fleshy nerd screamed as Brazeau made his way to the ring with his entourage. Only to hurl insults at Trudeau  as he entered. "He's a shiny pony !!! He's in a trance, it's all that dance training, that ballet training. !!! He skips like my four-year-old daughter !!!! He wanted to use pink gloves but the Sun News network didn't let him !!!!"

It was so grotesque, and so clear he thought Justin was about to be executed, and he couldn't wait to see him carried out on a stretcher, and hopefully bite his ear. But sadly for Ezra, and happily for me, we wuz both wrong.

Because this was GREAT...