Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Stephen Harper:Oil Pimp and Dangerous Idiot

I switched on the tv this afternoon just in time to watch Stephen Harper turn green. Not because that fat Oil Pimp was trying to look like a born-again environmentalist. That cabaret act is over....

But because he had to kiss the Kyoto. And publicly admit he now now believes in the science of climate change. Smooch. Slobber. Smack.

"This government has made it clear in the election campaign that we accept the science and that's why we're acting."

Ooh boy...after spending his whole life as a climate change denier that REALLY must have hurt. No wonder he looked so green. Woohoo!!!!!! I love this show!!!!

Although I must admit this little Bairdy almost ruined it....

By jumping up and down during question period blaming everything on the Liberals.

If this nasty little neocon hawk doesn't get its claws trimmed soon....we're going to have to cage it. Or turn it into a boa....

As for the Alberta Oil Pimp Climate Change Denier and Environmental Impostor .......he's going to have to convince his most fanatic ReformCon supporters he's not a traitor. Good luck.

"Now that the prime minister has publicly changed his mind to bend to the current wind, we’ll all pay for it."

I hope so.... how about twist in the wind? BTW have you ever considered the Reform Party? Mwahahaha!!!!

Doncha luv the planet? Just when these filthy cons thought they could take turns raping it up the kazoo.It turned around and bit them. Just like Iraq bit Chimp Bush. Ouch!

Although that does remind me....the Oil Pimp may have his hands full convincing his rabid wingnuts that he's not a traitor. Just an impostor and a liar.

But he's also going to have to convince the rest of us that he's not a dangerous idiot....

You see something in Harper's infamous but revealing letter kinda jumped out at me...

"It (Kyoto) is based on tentative and contradictory scientific evidence about climate trends."

"It focuses on carbon dioxide, which is essential to life, rather than upon pollutants..."

How could a so called leader be so wrong and so dum ignorant about something so important?

As if carbon dioxide wasn't one of the main greenhouse gases responsible for global warming.

As if scientists weren't aware at the time he wrote his crazy little letter that carbon dioxide levels were jumping alarmingly

"A recently issued report by the US National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) of an unexpectedly large increase in carbon dioxide levels from 2002 to 2003 has raised concerns that the earth may already be entering a time of rapid and abrupt climate change.

Another more ominous possibility exists - that some of the increase could be due to a feedback effect that is amplifying the rise expected from human activity and that might kick our gradual warming trend into high gear...."

In short....if global warming causes oceans and plants to absorb less carbon dioxide...we may have only years....not decades to do something about it. And try to limit the damage.

Oh yeah....and if you ever wondered what a planet with too much carbon dioxide looks looks like this one....

If we want to save our world all we've got to do is remember this....Stephen Harper is an Alberta Oil Pimp and a Climate Change Denier.

He put his right wingnut ideology before science. He put the interests of Big Oil before the interests of the world's children. And he was so stoopid ignorant he didn't even know what he was talking about.

He isn't a real leader just like he will never be a real environmentalist. This country can't afford him and his wacko government any longer.

And neither can the planet...

Stephane Dion and the Alberta Oil Pimps

I must say I find it quite amusing to see the nerd Stephen Harper accusing the nerd Stephane Dion of being a useless nerd on the environment ....with those ridiculous attack ads. Especially since I also believe they are going to backfire.

".....They show the Conservatives are worried about Dion but more importantly, they'll simply reinforce Canadians' perception that the government isn't serious about the environment and views it as a PR battle to be won...."

And then there's the whole idea of running Canadian attack ads in an American football game. That's so tacky and American it's got to hurt them.

But what I can't understand is why the nerd Dion is doing such a pathetic job of fighting back. It's pretty clear the ReformCons are out to destroy his environmental credentials. Or in filthy Con talk..... make him appear as bad as they are.

So I think he should be taking off the gloves. Instead of sounding like a Jesuit priest on crack. Or looking like St.Sebastian

And so does Tom Axworthy.

Dion must respond immediately. The Liberals should cut their own series of ads, linking Harper’s Republican Lite game plan to the negative politics of disunity that so disfigure the electoral process in the United States. Dion cannot allow an impression to grow that he is a scholarly and honourable man not quite up to the cut and thrust of modern politics...Dion must show that he cannot only take a punch, but give one back..."

Now somebody please tell the wacky professor......

He still seems to think that Parliament is some kind of university where you can convince even your sworn enemies that you are ALWAYS right.(yawn) Instead of a House of Pigs where you try to kick the filthy neocons in the nuts.

He needs to understand that he isn't addressing a classroom of university students anymore. Now he's speaking to the rabble. And for them one image is worth a thousand words.

So for example when Harper calls you a useless nerd who didn't do enough about climate change, You don't argue with him about who did what or not. You just call him a yankee stooge neocon who denied climate change was even a problem. Just like Chimp Bush did. Even as the planet burned...

And to make sure it sticks call him an Alberta Oil Pimp as well....

Canadians may not know that Harper has been a climate change denier all his life. A tool of the Alberta oil companies who pull the strings in the Conservative Party. A parrot of the Calgary oil executives who are selling out our energy interests. And making Alberta the Oil Whore of Amerika.

They may also not know that Harper has fought any kinds of controls on greenhouse gas emissions because the oil companies didn't want them. Or that he once called Kyoto a "socialist scheme"

"Kyoto is essentially a socialist scheme to suck money out of wealth-producing nations...."

Or that Harper belongs to a church that believes the world is going to end any day. And that fighting global warming is pagan "earth worship" that could delay the return of the "Messiah."

Or that until recently Harper publicly mocked the science of climate change just like Stockwell Day did.

But something tells me Canadians are going to find out what kind of a phony born again environmentalist Stephen Harper really is....on YouTube ......and when they do ...I'm sure they'll recognize a yankee blowing Alberta oil pimp when they see one.

Don't you?

Monday, January 29, 2007

Memes, Monsters, and The Third World War

When I was a small boy my dad and I were driving through the countryside near my home, when two jets from a nearby air force base collided in the air just in front of us. One crashed into a wood on the other side of a hill. The other one came down in a field just next to us.

My dad told me to stay in the car, while he and other drivers ran to see if they could help. But I got out of the car, crossed the road, and saw the pilot's body burning in the field.

When he got back to the car my father made me promise not to tell my mother what I had seen. But I told my sister, she told mum, and my father got really mad. He told me I should never tell others more than they need to know. So you don't hurt them when you don't have to. I guess it's a Scottish thing...

Then I saw the movie Lord of the Flies and that made an even stronger impression on me. I saw what happened to that other know the one who stared too long at this guy...

When the plane fell out of the sky Simon found out that The Monster wasn't really a monster. He was just a dead pilot hanging from a tree. And that The Monster was really us. But when he tried to tell the others......... they killed him.

But what do you expect? He told them more than they needed to know. You don't tell monsters they are monsters. Duh?

He should have kept his mouth shut....and bought himself some time. So he could have secretly....and hastily...built himself a raft. And escaped from the island.

Which I guess is a long winded way of explaining why I hate memes...

One....they force you to tell people things you hadn't planned on telling them.....two they sound too much like those exploding breast implants. And three I'm lazy...and some of them are too much like work...

But when I was tagged by that scandalous Old Hippie I figured what the heck....just this once.. Not just because I love her. But because I thought being asked to list Six Weird Things About Me would be easy. Right?

Wrong. There were so many things I had to leave out. But here's the short list.....

(1) I was stabbed by a Protestant bigot when I was a boy...for hanging out with Catholic guys and cheering for a Catholic football team....even though I was a Protestant. Celtic forever!! But now I'm an atheist I spend all my time attacking bigots in the Catholic Church.What?

(2) I'm afraid of heights...but I love to fly. I think I've already described what happened when I once climbed the cross on Mount Royal. I think I'd rather fly through a storm with two feathered propellers than do that again. Or lean too far over a high rise balcony. And as for the glass floor in the CN Tower forget it!

(3) Once I was so shy, and said so little they were praying I wasn't autistic. Now I can't keep my mouth shut....and they're all praying for a relapse. I'm still too shy to pass on a meme though.....although I just might give Slappy twelve hours from the time I post this to register his writing. Or face the consequences...

(4) I rail against the institution of marriage. I believe in total sexual freedom. I see sex as something playful and fun. And I'm always encouraging everyone to fuck like bunnies. Gays and straights. But as for me I'm practically married...I can't keep up with my friends. All I need is one guy to sleep next to....and two or three dozen others to play with now and then. And for me that's more than enough...

(5) I don't drink. I know this might NOT sound weird. But when you come from a drink sodden culture like I do. And from the heart of Scotland's Whisky Country...and you have the family and the friends I do...believe me it's practically bizarre. Although I hasten to add that if they made a bagel that makes you this one gets you buzzed. I'd eat it!!

(6) Although I'm a happy optimistic person I keep feeling that disaster is about to strike. Last year I got so wound up over the bird flu I didn't order chicken from Swiss Chalet for a month. And practically starved... And these days I can't help feeling we're on the verge of the Third World War. That Chimp Bush really is going to attack Iran. And nothing is going to stop him. And we're all going to get barbequed. Just like the chickens!!

But that's probably because sometimes I think I'm that other Simon.....The one on Pig Head island. It's like a dream. Or maybe it's a past life. Just like the one Bruce had. Just not so complicated... this dream I find out who the monsters really are. But I don't tell the other ones. I pretend I'm one of them. While I build a raft out of coconut trees lashed together with pig guts. And on a moonless night paddle out to sea.

Then ....of course....sharks eat the guts ....and my raft falls apart. But I am rescued by a handsome fisherman who takes me to live in his tree house on another island. Where everything is peaceful and beautiful. And there are no monsters. Or pigs...... just the survivors from a gay cruise ship that went down during a wild party on the bridge...

And I live happily ever after....

Until the Third World War starts....

Now isn't THAT weird?

Saturday, January 27, 2007

The Other Horror of the Pig Farm Murders

I see a lot of Canadians have already had enough of the Robert Pickton trial. They'd rather not know what happened to all those women.

From the comments in the Globe and Mail:

“No decent person could desire the ghoulish level of coverage you give to this sorry event."

Even though the ugly truth is because so many other so-called decent Canadians looked away for so long, so many women died.

That's the other horror of the pig farm murders.

It's not just a story of a monster and his victims.  It's also a story of a police department and a city that didn't do enough to stop him until it was too late. Because most of the victims were natives, drug addicts, sex trade workers, or just desperately poor. 

As if they weren't as human as other Canadians. As if their lives didn't count.

But of course they did. They all had families, loved ones, friends and dreams just like everyone else has Just like Sarah de Vries did....

I  watched a documentary about her life on Radio Canada. And I found it incredibly moving

It included an interview shot five years before she disappeared. In the clip she is shooting up and talking about her life on the street.

"You've got three ways you can go. You can go to jail. You can wind up dead. Or you can end up being a lifer down here. It's not a fun life..."

If you understand French you can watch the documentary here. Or just that interview by fast forwarding to 3:55 in the documentary.

Or you can zoom just slightly further ahead to 4:45 and watch the most haunting scene of all....

When a few days before Christmas in 1997 a CBC crew is filming some carollers in the Downtown Eastside, and Sarah stumbles into the shot.

She stares at the carollers as if recalling happier times.

Later she writes in her diary:

"Christmas is here again...this year I regretfully announce there will be no tree, no decorations, possibly no turkey dinner. Depression sinks deeper with every new thought....the emptiness grows...last void.... rapid and silent..."

Those were the last pictures ever taken of her. Four months later she vanished. It took years for the police to take her disappearance, and the disappearance of so many other women, seriously.

But as you can see in the documentary, thanks in large part to Sarah's mother and her sister Maggie they eventually did. And the horror of the pig farm was finally exposed.

And now, after all that , the trial finally gets underway...and already many Canadians have had enough?

Oh boy. I guess that answers Sarah's question... 

"Will they remember me when I'm gone...or will their lives just carry on? Will the tears fall from their eyes? When they try to say their goodbyes..."

Her loved ones never got a chance to say their goodbyes. Or even bury her remains. All police found was a trace of DNA. And life does just carry on.

But when this trial is over we need a public inquiry. Not just because murder is murder. And justice is justice. But also because as a society we need to confront  our human failures so we can overcome them.

So all those women didn't die in vain. So something good comes out of this shameful Canadian horror show.

So it never happens again....

Chimp Bush and the War with Iran

Uh oh.....panic in Washington. The Republican Reich is falling apart. The Chimp is in the bunker. And now he's not just stoopid. He's absolutely nuts. Now he's not The Decider, he's The Decision Maker.

Now he isn't blaming Saddam or Al Qaeda for the debacle in Iraq. Now he's blaming Iran.

"American troops in Iraq have authority to kill or capture Iranian agents deemed to be a threat, officials said Friday in describing a tougher stand toward Tehran and its suspected meddling in the nearly four-year-old war."

Oops....I hope that doesn't mean kill this Iranian agent. That could be messy.

"Those who suspect Sistani's true intentions are quick to note that the country's most powerful man is not even an Iraqi, but an Iranian...."

The Chimp and his chumps just don't get it. The Shia in Iran and Iraq have ties going back centuries. The Iranians will always be in Iraq. Just like the Iraqi Shia will support Iran if it's ever attacked by the U.S.

Just like Bush and Cheney appear determined to do. Not just strike at the nuclear installations. But crush Iran with a massive show of military might.

"Weapons of mass destruction will provide the rationale for military action, though it won't be limited to attacks on a few weapons factories. It will include limiting Iranian retaliatory capability, using bombers to destroy up to 10,000 targets in the first day of any war, and special forces flying in to destroy anything that's left."

Bush and Cheney may be gambling that the American people will close ranks behind them in the face of the terrorist wave that would follow. Or maybe they really believe that history will prove them right. That oil WAS everything. And Amerika had to have it. Or die.

Or maybe The Chimp is now so crazy he thinks he's paving the way for The Rapture.

All I know is that if the Congress and the American people don't stop these neocon maniacs in the next few weeks..... sometime in February...... we could be living in an even scarier world...

Which reminds is the weekend...and I'd hate to end on such a note of doom and gloom. I mean think of it this way...the world may be on the brink of disaster. But the Republican Reich is already there. These nazi neocons aren't just tearing themselves apart. They're imploding and exploding at the same time. Oh what a beautiful sight!!

Besides if we're going to be cowering under our beds is the time to live it up!!! You fun things....drink a lot...have lots of sex, or just dance a lot like this guy did....

Oh what a beautiful world!!!

Enjoy it while you can...

Friday, January 26, 2007

What are we hiding in Afghanistan?

I'm happy to see the group of MPs who have been held under virtual house arrest at our military base in Kandahar, have been granted temporary parole. Allowed to travel about a kilometre outside our little tour an Afghan army base.

The group had been confined to the Canadian base at Kandahar airfield since they arrived on Tuesday, under orders from Defence Minister Gordon O'Connor.

"Technically, they went outside the wire, but they were still within a secure perimeter of the airfield......"

Wow!!!! I'm impressed. Although by the way O'Connor and his chickenhawk Generals decide these days what Canadians can or cannot see you'd think they had something to hide. And maybe they do...

The truth is our media coverage of the war in Afghanistan is a joke. All we get are live hits by reporters out of our Kandahar base repeating what the military tell them. Or the jingoistic reports of Christie Blatchford and Rosie DiManno. About how manly our soldiers are.

Or little photo-ops at some dinky project, with a rent-a-crowd of Afghans pathetically grateful for practically nothing. Not that they dare say anything else with heavily armed Canadian soldiers all around them.

But then a few days ago a group of Canadian reporters decided to give the military a miss....and travel way beyond the wire into the Forbidden Zone. And what this guy saw there haunts me still....

"The roadside between Bazar-e Panjwaii and Sperwan is one never-ending graveyard..."

Hundreds of piles of fresh stones mark each new plot. Bits of green and white burial shroud tied to two-metre-high sticks have been tapped into the arid soil near some of the graves; green symbolizing Islam and white for the Taliban.

Many of these people were local farmers, coerced by Pakistani-based insurgents into fighting better-armed NATO soldiers or whipped up into a religious froth by Taliban claims of western outrages.

The farther we went up the road, the tighter the knot in my stomach became - especially as we passed flattened compounds, burned fields and a mosque that our guide told us had been used until just recently as a Taliban command post...."

I don't think it's possible for anyone to hate the Taliban as much as gay men do. We're the ones they threw off tall buildings. Or crushed under brick walls. So I'm a sucker for the noble part of our doomed mission. And war is hell and people do get killed.

But massacring legions of local farmers wasn't part of the bargain. A road lined with the graves of scrawny dirt poor people ....who died on the land where they were born..... isn't the kind of monument I want Canada to leave behind in Afghanistan.

But as I've mentioned before that's what happens when you don't have enough soldiers to do the job. If we had a stronger force we might have been able to encircle small groups at least, and talk them into going back to their fields. Or paying them to do that .....or whatever.

But since we don't. And we can't afford to take casualties like we did last year ...for political reasons. We just call in the American planes and helicopters. And they kill them all.

Just like they killed this other group of Taliban recruits. The ones wearing plastic bags instead of boots.

Just like they end all their battles. Not with a bang but a boom.....

And we're flattening mud compounds....just like the Soviets used to do....

I don't know if Canadians really care about the war in Afghanistan.....unless our soldiers are killed. Right now it is what's called a "neutral" issue. But we're killing a lot of people in that country so we have a moral responsibility to take a close look at what we're doing.

If we're going to have a real debate we need to know what's really going on there.

Any attempts to hide the truth will only come back to haunt us later. But by that time it might be too late.

Our Afghan Highway to Hell won't just be paved with good intentions.

It will be lined with the bodies of tens of thousands of Afghans.

If we don't care about that day we will....

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Orphans, Twisted Monsters, and the Pope's Boyfriend

Holy virgin Mary!!! Hit me with a bowl of porridge. It looks as if the Catholic Church has found a new group of helpless children to victimize. British orphans.

The leader of the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales has said adoption agencies will close if they cannot opt out of new gay rights laws.

Isn't that sick? Make little orphans suffer because of their evil homophobia. My only question is..... how did these poor kids ever end up in the hands of these twisted monsters in the first place?

The ones who abuse little boys and little girls. drive gay teenagers to suicide, and attack gay couples like a pack of rabid dogs in dresses. While frolicking like queens in the perfumed gardens of the Vatican.

Fabio Canino says he received a mysterious invitation a few years ago to lunch at the Vatican with a cardinal. “I walked in,” he remembers, “and I thought the person in front of me was a drag queen, not a cardinal.” He flings his arms up in imitation and cries out, lisping, “Hel-lo, sweetie!”

The prelate, he says, eagerly dished his Vatican colleagues, referring to one black cardinal as “Naomi” (after Naomi Campbell). As Canino tells the story, he called the cardinal a hypocrite and asked how, as a gay man, he could serve this homophobic institution. The cardinal looked at him across the lavish table where they sat and said, “I have everything here.”

Surely by now it must be obvious that the only reason these crazy wingnuts are so obsessed with homosexuality is because they are trying to repress their own unnaturally repressed sexuality. Just like Ted Haggard tried....and failed. The more out gay people they see the more horny and desperate they become. Homophobia is the cage they need to cage themselves.

They are the real perverts. No child should be allowed anywhere near them. It's time to take away every orphan they have and place the poor children in secular orphanages. Where they can't be fondled by priestly monsters....or have their minds corrupted by their hateful mumbo jumbo.

And then there are the latest holy men in a dresses to join the fray..... the Arch-Bishops of Canterbury and York. And the yankee poodle and closet Catholic Tony Blair.

So much for the winds of change....

The Church of England put pressure on the Prime Minister last night over the gay adoptions row with a letter giving warning that “rights of conscience cannot be made subject to legislation”.

Even though...

"The Department for Education and Skills, which is responsible for adoption, did not agree that children’s interest would be damaged (by the closing of Catholic orphanages) on grounds that Catholic agencies made only 4 per cent of placements while gay couples tended to accept harder-to-place children."

That's why we're better than these religious homophobes. Who would deny our humanity. And make orphans suffer....and worry about being thrown out of the place they call home. You can't get any lower than that.

Although I suspect that if somebody asked those poor helpless orphans what they wanted......they'd probably just say something like this....

If you were in their shoes and didn't have a real home.

What would you want?

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

The Chimp, the Chinese and the Coming Oil War

It didn't surprise me a bit to hear Chimp Bush call tonight for a twenty per cent cut in U.S. oil consumption. Although it does defy belief. A Texas pimp for Big Oil calling on Americans to cool their jets. Isn't that like a fox claiming he wants to save the chickens?

What really did surprise and shock me was what little play in Canada this story got.

U.S.and Canadian oil executives and government officials met for a two-day oil summit in Houston in January 2006 and made plans for a "fivefold expansion" in oilsands production in a relatively "short time span," according to minutes of the meeting obtained by the CBC's French-language network, Radio-Canada.

Talk about making Alberta the oil whore of Amerika. Talk about selling out the energy interests of Canada. Chimp Bush and Dickhead Cheney may want to reduce Amerika's dependence on Middle East oil. But they're counting on Canada to make up the difference. Big time.

We're already pumping more oil into the pig than anyone else. Now they want even more. One day they'll want it all...

But surely what the Chimp's speech, and the little Texas Sellout do make abundantly clear...... to even the dummest of Canadians...... is how desperate the United States is to get its paws on as many oil sources as possible. Before reserves start to decline. And before others get their mitts on them first.

Like the Chinese for example..... Or did you think that this story had nothing to do with all of the above?

Think again.....

After the Americans, the Chinese are the oil pigs of the world. And they're getting thirstier and thirstier.Which as oil reserves can't keep up with demand...will eventually place them on a collision course with the U.S.

"You have two powers competing over the same sandbox.... as a country of China's size grows, there will be a moment when the moment of reckoning comes....."

Since seventy percent of known crude oil supplies are in five countries in the Persian Gulf region ......guess where the Chinese will eventually have to be? As well as off the coast of Africa...and maybe off the coast of Venezuela. To do that they need a modern deep sea navy. If you don't think they're serious about that. Just check out this video.

Ok they still have a long way to go .... but you don't need much of an imagination to see what the future could look like.

By the time Chimp Bush's target of 2017 rolls around the Big Chinese Machine will be starting to run out of gas. Imagine millions of unemployed workers. Or millions of people with cars who can't afford to drive them. Add to that the forty million bachelors who will never be able to find a woman to marry or whatever...and you can see why the Chinese not only need all that black stuff. Heck they might even need a war....

So here's the bottom line. Unless we take drastic action to reduce the planet's dependence on oil. And move into a post-oil economy. And do it fast. We won't just have to worry about global warming frying our world.

We'll also have to worry about frying ourselves....

Which leaves me with one haunting question....

Why do so many Canadians still not understand that Stephen Harper and his Alberta oil pimps are the worst possible government we could have during these dangerous times?

Don't they understand that unless these yankee lovin' traitors are driven from power soon. Not only will they sell us out to the Amerikans. Not only will they destroy our country.

They'll also help destroy the world...



The Harper neocon oil pimps have complained about the Radio Canada story.

Notice how they don't defend the sellout. They only claim the meeting wasn't secret.

If it wasn't secret why did it take a year to get out? Something tells me the filthy ReformCons are really sensitive about this story. Remind me to keep drilling that nerve...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

The Good Little Mosque and the Big Bad One

I forced myself to watch two episodes of the Little Mosque on the Prairie. Which wasn't easy because I never watch any soap operas on tv. Not even Grey's Anatomy...

I get all my television entertainment watching the nightly news. Why settle for cheap and predictable comedy? When you can laugh your head off watching the end of the world...

But I thought Little Mosque was kinda cute. In that dum, gentle, self deprecating Canadian way. And I love the idea of defusing hate with laughter. So I was really happy to see most Canadian Muslims seem to be enjoying the show.

"More extreme Muslims are telling our youth that Canada is not interested in our community, so something like this works dead against that type of mentality...."

"The youth see it on television and say, hey, they recognise us and they actually made an investment to talk about us and our life in Canada..."

Wow!! What a concept. Show Muslim Canadians on the screen acting like any other Canadians. Reflect their lives and make us laugh with them instead of fearing them. And maybe they'll feel more at home in their home. Brilliant. In these troubled times that's good enough for me.

Although some of the stereotypes are a little too much. The Mean Rubes are like cardboard cutouts. And did they really have to make the token gay a WATER aerobics instructor? Although I suppose we should be grateful that they didn't hire Richard Simmons for the part. And make him a Muslim convert.....

Hmmm....actually that might have had some comic potential....

But you see that's what worries me. Here we are doing a show about a mosque. And it's a comedy. But the Brits also just did a show about a mosque. It's like Big Mosque in Birmingham. And it's not a comedy. It's a scary drama

"If I were to call homosexuals perverted, dirty, filthy dogs who should be murdered, that's my freedom of speech, isn't it? But they'll say no, I'm not tolerant."

Uh I'm confused. Which mosque should I believe in? I'm pulling for our little Canadian one. But can we be sure that what's happening in Britain......isn't happening here?

Or couldn't happen here now that the monstrous theocon bitch bigot Jason Kenney has been made Minister for Multiculturalism.......

Kenney is Stephen Harper's secret ambassador to the religious wingnuts extremists. His idea of multiculturalism is to recruit new immigrants to the ReformCon Party by whipping up their fear and hatred of gays and lesbians. Just like some of those crazy Imams do.

Although I shouldn't be too hard on that Klan Klown Kenney.... You know when Sebastien was away I had a lot of trouble trying to remain faithful to him. And not get laid. It was so hard. Everyone started to look good to me. Even the ugly right-wing runt Rex least from behind....

But just when I was about to lose control, I thought of "Mr Chastity" Jason Kenney.....

And that ALWAYS worked....

Besides it gives me an idea...... I think he's just the person to play the pathetic drag queen in my spanking new production....... Little Gay Bar in Alberta.

I'm just about ready to send the script into the CBC. But I'm not sure what to call it. I'd like to call it a comedy of course. But since it's about a poor deluded wouldbe gay bar owner. And Jason Kenney is in it. And he's always waiting for his cowboy. And it takes place in a real rube town in Alberta....with real rednecks.

I think I better call it a comedy drama.

And remember to include a token a terrorist .....or a cab driver.....

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Doomsday Clock and the War with Iran

Oh great....a week ago I would have paid somebody to shoot me. Or cheered if a humongous meteorite had slammed into the earth and wiped us all out. Now I'm happy and full of love and lust again...and want the party to go on forever. Only to have a group of mad scientists come along and tell me it's almost over. Huh? What?

"The dangers posed by climate change are nearly as dire as those posed by nuclear weapons....the effects may be less dramatic in the short term than the destruction that could be wrought by nuclear explosions, but over the next three to four decades climate change could cause irremediable harm to the habitats upon which human societies depend for survival."

Oh come on...where did they get these party poopers from? That Hawking guy should get out more often. How come they don't mention that one problem could eliminate the other?

"...Some regions would probably go back to cold conditions not experienced since medieval times and a climate phase sometimes referred to as the "Little Ice Age" when Europe in particular was hit by very harsh winters...."

See what I mean? So much for global warming....

Besides ......let's be truthful. Just because young people won't have a future. And will have to fight and probably eat each other to survive...doesn't mean we should ALL have to worry about it. Now. Does it?

Shouldn't we be worrying about the war with Iran instead....coz it's coming next month?

"The pieces are moving. They'll be in place by the end of February. The United States will be able to escalate military operations against Iran.....

As one of the last steps before a strike, we'll see USAF tankers moved to unusual places, like Bulgaria. These will be used to refuel the US-based B-2 bombers on their strike missions into Iran. When that happens, we'll only be days away from a strike...."

Oooh boy!!! The Chimp's last great gamble. Just when we thought he was finished. He puts on his war paint and strikes again. What a Chimporama of a drama!!!!

But I guess you can't blame him eh? Success in Iraq means handing the country over to the Shia. But that means handing it over to Iran coz they call the shots. And that would make Iran really powerful....and make the Sunni in Saudi Arabia really unhappy. And then there's the Iranian threat to nuke Israel. So bombing the shit out of Iran solves everything. Doesn't it?

And if things get out of hand....and Russia and China get involved. Well at least at least we won't have to worry about global warming...

See what I mean? God help the mullahfuckers in Tehran. But I figure we can't lose. And I'm dammed if I'm going to let the threat of nuclear annihilation get me down. And you shouldn't either. Hey life's too short. Just fuck your brains out like I'm doing. Drink ....a lot. Or failing that...think of all those dead religious extremists...and all that cheap gas.....

And hey!! You too can be sitting on top of the world!!!

Oh wow! Wasn't that awesome?

Now come on people admit it....I know I'm in love.... so everything seems so ......beautiful.

But who could be afraid of that?

Fuck the Doomsday Clock. Just don't forget to set your alarm clock to nuclear midnight. So you can turn on CNN.

Coz it's gonna be quite a show...

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Gay Prince and the Cherry Tree

The Prince has returned to his frozen kingdom. What a difference a day makes. It may be winter out there. But in the bunker..... it's summer again.

Now all we need is a cherry tree....

Cherries of the night are riper
Than the cherries pluckt at noon
Gather to your fairy piper
When he pipes his magic tune:
Merry, merry,
Take a cherry;
Mine are sounder,
Mine are rounder,
Mine are sweeter
For the eater
Under the moon.
And you’ll be fairies soon.

In the cherry pluckt at night,
With the dew of summer swelling,
There’s a juice of pure delight,
Cool, dark, sweet, divinely smelling.
Merry, merry,
Take a cherry;
Mine are sounder,
Mine are rounder,
Mine are sweeter
For the eater
And you’ll be fairies quite.

When I sound the fairy call,
Gather here in silent meeting,
Chin to knee on the orchard wall,
Cooled with dew and cherries eating.
Merry, merry,
Take a cherry;
Mine are sounder,
Mine are rounder,
Mine are sweeter.
For the eater
When the dews fall.
And you’ll be fairies all.

Fairies and Fusiliers

Mmmmm....rounder....sweeter....for the eater....

Let the freezing rain fall.
Under the moon.
The fairies play.
See ya soon!!


Thursday, January 11, 2007

Gertrude Bell and the Lessons of History in Iraq

They say that those who don't learn from the mistakes of the past are doomed to repeat them. And in Iraq to understand that all you have to do is visit the old British Cemetery in Baghdad. 

Under the art deco dome among the weeds lies the body of General Sir Stanley Maude, the conquering hero of Mesopotamia. When he entered Baghdad in 1917 he issued the following proclamation.

"To the people of Baghdad... our armies do not come into your cities and lands as conquerors or enemies, but as liberators....."

He promised them a "future of greatness." Eight months later he was dead from cholera. Three years later the British were bombing Kurdish villages and using poison gas against rebellious tribesmen. Sound familiar?

And then there's that other tomb in the ruined cemetery.The tomb of the woman who drew up the map of Iraq. The amazing Gertrude Bell.

They called her the Queen of the Desert, She fell in love with the region and its people. She knew their history. She spoke their languages. She lived with tribes in the desert. 

The tragedy of Iraq is that when she went to draw the map...... she loved the Sunnis more than the Shia. As she once wrote:

"I don't for a moment doubt that the final authority must be in the hands of the Sunnis, in spite of their numerical inferiority; otherwise you will have a ... theocratic state, which is the very devil...."

So she drew up a map giving the minority Sunnis all the power, and leaving the Shia as an oppressed and persecuted majority. And in so doing helped create a Pandora's Box that would one day blow open and let out all that pent up resentment, and the hideous devils of religious hatred.

The time of the Shia has finally arrived. And they won't be denied.

Just as Gertrude Bell found out so long ago....

As the British slaughtered Iraqis like animals, and the country descended into anarchy, she became disillusioned and depressed. Until on a steamy hot Baghdad night she took an overdose of sleeping pills and killed herself.

Which leaves me wondering...when the hell in Iraq is finally over one day...who will history be harder on? Saddam Hussein who murdered hundreds of thousands to keep the lid on that Pandora's box? George Bush who knocked him off the box only to let the devils inside escape and take wing all over the Middle East?

Or the amazing woman who helped created the nightmare box in the first place with a few strokes of a pen?

And who now lies forgotten in Baghdad cemetery overgrown with weeds, where the silence of the dead is broken by the sounds of gunshots and car bombs. A cemetery that is now too dangerous to even visit.

A cemetery where the Conqueror of Mesopotamia and the uncrowned Queen of Iraq now lie in the rubble of their dreams.

Oh yeah. Those who ignore the past are condemned to repeat it.

Over and over again....

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Israel's Plan to Nuke Iran and the Big Cloud

I wonder if fifty years from now historians will write that the fateful year 2007 began on a balmy note. People frolicked in the unusually warm weather, even in cold places like Canada. The flowers opened early. It was like Spring in Winter. Until Israel attacked Iran. The Middle East exploded. The oil fields burned. And the Third World War or Oil War One began.

Geez... I hope not. But I'm afraid the writing is on the walls....of those Iranian nuclear installations Israel is planning to nuke.

Israel has drawn up secret plans to destroy Iran’s uranium enrichment facilities with tactical nuclear weapons.

Under the plans, conventional laser-guided bombs would open “tunnels” into the targets. “Mini-nukes” would then immediately be fired into a plant at Natanz, exploding deep underground to reduce the risk of radioactive fallout.

Who can blame the Israelis for attacking the sites? When the Iranians are vowing to wipe them off the map. And all it would take is one bomb. The fact that they are even floating this stuff shows how worried the Israelis are.

But as I pointed out last April attacking the Iranian nuclear facilities won't be easy.....or clean. Forget about low yield. A successful tactical nuclear strike would create a really big cloud.

And that's why these scientists don't believe that going nuclear is the way to go....

Conventional bunker busters like this one....

Just big ass Big BLU

And then there would be the hellish political aftermath in the region.The Iranians would probably retaliate by firing missiles at Israel and trying to close the straits of Hormuz. Or by attacking the Saudi oil fields. Hezbollah and Hamas would attack Israel. And in Iraq the Shiites would turn on the Americans.

Which raises an interesting question. Are the Americans sending in more troops to Iraq to try to win that war? Even though their army is so wasted they are calling up the dead.

Or are they just trying to blunt the coming offensive? And preparing for the day when they'll have to fight their way out. Fight the Iranians. And protect and control the oil fields... Which let us never forget was what the war in Iraq was always all about

Question: How many American troops would it take to do that and still keep a strategic hold on Iraq and Afghanistan? Answer: More than they have...

And if the oil fields burn... and tanker supplies are disrupted .....and oil supplies dry up... How will other nuclear powers like Russia and China react? Will China send in its rapidly expanding deep sea fleet into the region, to safeguard its strategic interests? Could it eventually lead to a superpower confrontation? And even Oil War One....

And if Israel does go nuclear.... will that usher in a new era of terrorist dirty bombs?

So many questions. So few answers. The only thing I don't doubt is that fifty years from now historians will wonder how we ever let ourselves get into such a situation. How we got so hooked on oil, and greed and mindless violence and crazy religion.

That even when we saw the apocalypse coming. Or at the very least a Terrorist Tsunami. And the Mother of all Recessions. We left ourselves no way out.

So we couldn't do anything to stop it...