Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Free Scotland, the Klan Zoo, and the End of Canada

Wow!! Just when I thought Canada and Quebec were heading for a nasty divorce. After all that nation nonsense. And we'd be in the headlines again. Just like the Hollywood stars. It seems that Britain and Scotland are going to steal our brief moment in the spotlight. By splitting up first.

And the worst thing is they don't just want Scotland and England to separate. They want Wales and Northern Ireland to become independent too!

Our poor little two-way split wouldn't even be a player. We'd be lucky if the world even noticed...

Although can you imagine how the breakup of the U.K. would play in Quebec? I imagine the Quebecois being prudent people would wait for a couple of years to see how things worked out. And then my gut tells me they'd go for it. Just like Scotland should.

"In reality, the political cultures of the two countries have drifted so far apart, they are no longer compatible. The Scots want a Scandinavian-style social democracy with high taxes, generous welfare and big government. In Scottish politics, there are virtually no right-of-center voters left..."

The English want a U.S.-style free market with lower taxes, and a smaller state. The only reason they can't have it is because of the Scots. That is hardly healthy...."

Talk about Canada and Quebec....

Something tells me that Canada better have a contingency plan ready for an After Quebec and maybe After Alberta country. So despite our pathetic state of constitutional denial. It won't be too much of a shock.

In fact, maybe it's time we all split from Canada. The Atlantic provinces could form a country as well as Quebec and Ontario. Manitoba and Saskatchewan could band together or join Ontario. British Columbia could finally turn it's back on the rockies and face its future in the Pacific Rim. And then they'd be the First Nations. And as for the Banana Republic country of Alberta it could become a dinosaur park.

Maybe it's just time to be really honest and acknowledge that this country is becoming like a real bad marriage. And that there's nothing holding us together anymore. Once we shared Canadian values. Now we don't.

Once I felt proud to be a Canadian. Now I'm ashamed. You see the brutal truth is like a lot of people in this country I don't want to live in a country that includes Alberta. Or live in a country that is governed by nazi theocon Albertans. Why would I? Why would anyone?

I don't want to live in a place where filthy bigot homophobes scream for my gay blood. And attack women's rights and other minority groups to feed the monsters of the religious right. Or blow the butchers of the Bush Regime. And tell the rest us what to do. That's not my kind of country. That's a Klan Zoo.

I'd rather live in a country called Quebec or Ontario, with people who share my values. Where I could be truly free and not have to look over my shoulder all the time. For the crazy wingnut quoting his murderous Hate Bible. Or mouthbreathing bigot with the baseball bat. Who would kill my lover too.

You see that makes it personal for me.....just like it is for the Scots and the Brits...Oh there may be many reasons for the separatist surge. The weight of history, devolution, and North Sea oil. But the main reason is just too much bad blood. You got a taste of it during the soccer wars. And now it's even worse.

Just like it is here....for once let's face the facts. There is just too much hate in this country and not enough shared values to keep us together anymore. Just for the sake of staying together.

The chorus of hatred and threats aimed at the Quebecois is now a deafening howl. The chorus of hatred against gays is now a bloodthirsty scream. Native people are angry and frustrated. We can't agree on anything. It's time to breakup this dysfunctional family before we start killing each other.

Why should anyone put up with that kind of aggravation? For a piece of cloth on a stick.. a set of values that are stinking in the grave... and a constitution signed by an English Queen.

Or a stinkin' corrupt Liberal Party that would discriminate against gay teens. As if they weren't discriminated and brutalized enough. Now they want to criminalize them for making love. What is it about the evil heterosexuals? How fucked up are those freaks?How much gay blood do they want.? How much lower can those stinking bigot breeders go?

But let's look at it on the bright side....... If we separated we wouldn't have to live with each other anymore. There would be no useless quarrels or hatemongering. No constitution to worry about. Everybody could just concentrate on living with the people they want to live with. And building their own societies according to their own values.

The rednecks would build Klan worship centres , gay concentration camps and extermination centres. And monuments to greed. While other countries in the Canadian Confederation would build schools, daycare centers and hospitals.

And even Alberta would be a better place. Now that you'd need a tourist visa to visit it. It would just be another exotic destination. And think how much fun the kiddies would have...

You know what happened to the dinosaurs coz they couldn't adapt. Their world ended with a bang. Our country is dying of bigotry and right-wing craziness. This isn't Canada anymore it's AlbertaCan.

Let's separate from it while we still can...

Scotland forever! Go for it Ontario! Bye Bye Alberta...

Vive le Quebec Libre!!!!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The Gay Vote and the Homophobe House of Pigs

Oh goody goody! The nazi vote on gay marriage is finally going to be held.

Won't that be fun? There's nothing better than seeing your House of Parliament turned into the Homophobe House of Pigs. Or listening to all those filthy Klan Klowns putting down gay love. Or fucking and fondling my human rights. In a debate that never should have been held. Oh Kanada! I'm really going to love that.

I'm going to love it so much..... and the wave of hate it will unleash...... I've got a feeling Sebastien is going to call up and ask the boys in the bunker to tie me down. So I don't go looking for a fight. And end up getting into trouble. What a cruel blow that would be. On the Great New Great Day for Gay Marriage in Canada (the other one didn't count.) Lying flat on my back...strapped to the bed. Whoopee! Won't that be fun?

And don't you love the day these yankee suckin' ReformCons chose for the vote in the House of Pigs? December 7th....the anniversary of the Pearl Harbour attack. So while it may be a victory for us. For them it'll just be another Day of Infamy. I guess that means we get to play the japs...

Oh well...I guess that happens when you live in a world where so many straight people think they're more human than us. Or a country where so many of even our so-called friends, think we're so much less than them. And that our love doesn't count.

But maybe this Piggy Fest will serve some purpose. If it distracts Canadians. And makes this country killer story go away. As well as the filthy comments...

It is obvious that the Quebecers are different by wanting some kind of status, but not in a way that I would consider good. Kinda like that mangey coyote that needs to be put down for its own good.

These Quebec people seem to forget, that the land they want is not theirs, it belongs to Canada. How are they going to form a Nation, with out land?

You know....ever since the last referendum I've had this recurring nightmare..... That where once English Canada defined itself by being against the Americans. Now so much of its culture has been so Americanized. Sucked right out of its bleeding marrow. Now it's starting to define itself by being against Quebec. Now it's starting to eat itself.

Or maybe it's just a fatal ignorance. An inability to understand that a minority needs to feel respected more than a majority does. Surely only that can explain why even someone as decent as Ken Dryden doesn't get it either...It's a good speech. But he thinks too much like a lawyer. He still doesn't understand it's all about the heart. But then he never did...

For years he was the hero of millions of French-speaking Quebecers. The hero of the Canadien Nation. But he never bothered to learn French...Never understood that sometimes it's the small gestures that count.

Or that the French nation debate isn't about words. It's all about respect. Just like allowing gays to marry is. If English Canadians don't understand that. If they'd rather threaten and humiliate minority groups. Instead of making them feel at home. If they treat the French like they've treated us. If they make them as angry as they've made us. If Canada becomes Kanada. Then this country will really be fucked. Kaboom!

Forget the Tora Tora Tora. It might as well use the same rope the boys are going to use to try to tie me down.

And use it to hang itself...

Monday, November 27, 2006

Ted Moron, Klanberta, and the Libby Bloggers

Remember how I warned you about Alberta's exploding syphilis problem?
Well I'm sorry to report tonight that my warning came too late for the many rednecks in that backward province. Now it's spread to their small brains. Welcome to Klanberta...

Can you believe it ? The U.S.-style wingnut homophobe and traitor separatist Ted Morton could actually become the Rube King of the Bigot Province. Heil Moron!!

The crazy professor from the sinister Calgary School, who along with his buddy Stephen Harper wrote the infamous firewall letter

The yankee-born right-wingnut who would privatize Canada's medicare system. The ridulous self declared Jackass Senator-In-Waiting from the Confederacy of Klanberta. The darling of the religious extremists who has promised to introduce his Final Solution to the Gay Problem. The nazi Bill 208 ....Again.

The effects of this bill, should it become law in Alberta, would be devastating for gays and lesbians.
[Bill 208], if passed, would allow employers to fire gays and let landlords evict gay tenants with impunity because they’re “exercising a belief against same-sex marriage..."

The hero of the angry old men and the mouthbreathing white trash of rural Alberta. Who would rape our Canadian values. Wage perpetual war on us. And turn their barbarous wingnut breeding ground into this kind of place.

A place where gay people would be hounded like animals. A place where the message would go out. It's ok to fuck with the fags. It's ok to bully gay kids and beat them and drive them to suicide. You can attack them, put up religious tracts calling for them to be murdered. You can fire them, evict them, and they can't fight back. No gay person would be safe.Not even in their own homes. If I was a gay person living in Klanberta I'd buy a gun.

So with this horde of redneck wingnut nazis coming straight for us what do you think one of the last libby Lib bloggers left in Calgary is doing? Attacking Ted Moron and his nazi plans to wage war on Canada as we know it? No I'm afraid not. He's too busy spouting nonsense about Quebec. Along with a whole bunch of other Libby Bloggers.

And both those bloggers are usually great. So how depressing is that?

As if Quebec wasn't a nation. As if Pierre Trudeau's vision of Canada wasn't as dead and buried as the man himself. As if anybody gave a shit about whether Iggy is a piggy or not. When the country is burning.

As if those few harmless words weren't one of the most devastating body blows the separatists have ever received. As I've pointed out over and over again. As Chantal Hebert points out in today's Toronto Star:

"The expected adoption by the House of Commons of a Conservative motion recognizing that Quebecers make up a nation within a united Canada is likely to blunt one of the most potent weapons left in the sovereignist psychological arsenal.

Its adoption also makes the possibility of another referendum more remote, even if the Parti Québécois comes to power after the upcoming provincial election..."

How dumb can you be? No wonder English Canada is falling a wet paper bag. With friends like that who needs enemies?

As for me I figure that the only way Quebec really will separate one day is if these Alberta paleocons, drag Canada too far to the right. So it may eventually come down to a choice between the Quebec nation or the Redneck one. And you know where I stand on that... If anyone has to separate I say let it be Alberta.

And if Moron does become Rube King I plan to make my feelings public. With a new license plate...

Ok it's in the development stage...and after the Quebec part I'd have to add as long as Quebecers want to. But yours to discover ....a brand new country....can you imagine how beautiful an Alberta-free Canada would be? Sure we'd be a little poorer. But there would be no more Harper. No more ReformCon party. No more having to pretend that we're interested in Alberta Alienation Disorder (AAD) No more listening to their wretched bigoted wingnut yapping.

And of course.....above all... with King Moron at the helm no more having to take them seriously. Ever again. And who can put a price on that? That's priceless.

But if we can't convince these redneck homophobes to separate. And join the United States where they belong. I think we should at least try to isolate them. Persuade them to build that big wall they're always talking about. So we don't have to look at them in their funny cowboy hats and Klan hoods. Or smell their foul bigotry. Or watch them wacking off at the thought of all that gay blood. Or sucking off the dying Bush Regime.

Or better know a firewall is supposed to keep viruses out. But once one gets in and you can't kill it, you have to quarantine it. So let's quarantine Alberta. Join forces and drive these paleocons from power. So if Ted Moron ever becomes the Rube King of Alberta. And tries to fuck with our Canadian values. We can just tell him to go fuck himself. And keep them at bay that way.

You see it's not just syphilis that is contagious.

So is bigotry and ignorance...

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Tony Blair, Our Little Farce, and the Screwing of Amerika

Wow! What a strange week. It began with Tony Blair standing in the middle of a desert in Afghanistan declaring that what happens in that miserable fucking place really matters. A lot.

"Here in this extraordinary piece of desert is where the future of world security in the early 21st Century is going to be played out."

Huh? As another British commentator wrote: What is it about deserts that drives men mad?

Although I thought the Guardian's Steve Bell captured that desert moment best....

How about the 14th Century?

It would be even funnier, of course, if we weren't in that shithole ourselves. Talking the same crazy nonsense...

Then there was our little constitutional or nation crisis. That caught everyone by surprise. Was greeted like some kind of horrible tragedy. And ended in farce. So much for that one-week wonder...

Then as if to torment us constitutionally....back came the demented figure of the Buffoon Blair. Who ended his week in Scotland going after the separatists. Say wot?

" It is a shame we still have to debate whether the UK exists or not. Personally, I think it's an old debate, like 'Does Britain want to be part of Europe?' - a debate about a fashion that has long since lost its relevance or its sense. In a modern, interdependent world, countries are moving together, not apart."

Hmmm.....sound familiar? It seems we're not the only country with an existential problem.

Then of course there was the horror of Iraq... Where U.S. soldiers stuffed themselves with Thanksgiving turkey. And Iraqi soldiers looked the other way. While monsters burned people alive.

You know when people use electric drills to torture their victims before beheading or shooting them. Or roast them like pigs. Or blow them to bloody bits. Just because of their religion.This isn't a civil war anymore. This is an apocalypse of the human soul.

If you want to see what war does to soldiers. How it coarsens them, even when they're not killing. Then watch the video in this great post.

Isn't that cruel and sad...the poor desperate people of Iraq.

But there is only so much sadness and weirdness one can take. And it is the weekend after all...When we think of other things...

At least I do...

But if you want to have a laugh. And still remind yourself of how the bastard Bush has not only devastated Iraq. But screwed his own country.

Then watch this video as well...

So that's how straight people do it....

Have a great weekend everyone!

Friday, November 24, 2006

The Quebec Nation and the Canadian Idiots

Uh seems that little storm over calling Quebecers a nation,has now been upgraded to a category five tempest in a teapot. Run for your lives!!! You may feel just like you felt yesterday or the day before. But I've got sad news to report tonight.... It seems that our beautiful Canada has died!!!!

" Recognizing Quebec as a “nation”, even “within Canada”, is a disaster waiting to happen....Ethnic nationalism was the cause of most of the bloody history of the last 200 years

So let us give thanks for one thing: at least the pretense is over...We are well on our way to Belgiumhood, and that suits our political class just fine..."

Oh no! Not Belgium....if there's any country more boring than Canada that's the one. Although they have gay marriage and we still sort of don' well as good chocolate. And these days I could eat a lot....You know I expected the right-wingers to be up in arms. And I was right.

"What a load of crap! Sellout to appease the Franco's of Kbec....."

"Quebec is a pain in the ass and if recognizing that they are an inferior part of Canada that needs to be isolated from the rest of us ... so be it."

And I fully expect that in redneck Alberta it's even worse....

Porky rednecks are capable of anything...

But I never expected to see so many respectable left-wing bloggers spouting so much crap. Or turn into so many Chicken Littles with so little confidence in the strength of this land. Holy flying feathers! They're squawking so loudly even the sweet Frog Lady has fallen off her lily pad.

"Why am I whining so much? Because, to put it simply, Quebec is not a nation..."

Oh really? Wot? I'm shocked. How could a froggy forget that Quebecers were a nation long before Canada was? Or not realize that in Quebec just about everyone knows that Quebec is a nation. Just like the First Nations are. And that includes new immigrants integrating into the French system and most Anglos under sixty too. Everyone my age feels that way. We're proud Anglos and Canadians but we're proud of being Quebecois and proud to be living in the homeland of the French nation in Canada. That's not scary....Frog Lady..... it's kool!!!

For fuck sake everyone!!! This resolution is purely symbolic. It merely recognizes the more than 400 years of shared history of the French people of Quebec. From conquered people, to the confident tolerant and progressive society....the last bastion of Canadian values.... they are today.

It's not a big deal. This isn't about legalistic scribblings. The word nation in English means country. In French it means community or people. It's a question of recognizing a people's pride. Instead of treating them like The Enemy.

I don't know where this anti-Quebec shit comes from. I've written about it before in this post about the abominable Jan Wong. So I'm not going to do it again......coz it makes me want to vomit.

But all I know is that when I'm in Quebec it still feels like Canada. Many French Quebecers, including many sovereignists still have deep and warm feelings about this country. And that's not about to change...

Even if you'll never see something like this...

Just be glad we share this land with them....

I think it's about time English Canadians moved on. Just like Quebecers have. And stopped acting like great big if a few little words could bring an entire country down.

Stopped being so chicken and so crabby. Spent less time trapped in the past reliving the First World War over and over again. You know the time when most Canadians considered themselves British. And the only real Canadians were the French...

Stopped looking at this country as some kind of prissy constitutional cage, and started thinking of it as more of a big and wild family. Who may share a home. But are different and have different needs and aspirations. And stopped being so damm scared of reinventing Canada into a new and exciting federation. Where everyone who lives in The Great White North can party together. And everyone stays together because they want to.

Please give younger Canadians some hope for the future. Instead of being so negative and so chicken.

Those despairing lefty Canadians should also realize that recognizing Quebecers as who they are won't help the cause of separatism. On the contrary. It will take the fucking wind out of its sails. And could do that cause enormous harm. How wrong can these ridiculous Chicken Littles be? Or stoopid. Duh???

Above all they should remember that disrespecting Quebecers pride in themselves as a people. And directing a torrent of uninformed nonsense and just plain hateful bullshit at them. Won't save this country. It will shatter it.

If they don't understand that. Then they should play this video over and over again....

Hey it looks to me like Canada is still very much alive...Yay!!! Who hasn't dreamed of driving a zamboni up and down Saskatchewan? I dare anyone out there to tell me which Canadian or Quebecois hosers wouldn't recognize themselves in that video? Isn't that something to celebrate not

On the other hand letting a country be destroyed because the majority wasn't generous or sensitive enough to make its French-speaking minority feel at home. Or too tired boo hoo hoo or lazy or smallminded. Or too Americanized. To accept this big country as it is. And make it big enough for all of us.

That's not only idiotic. And cowardly. And a monstrous failure of the imagination.

That's fucking tragic as well...

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Bigot Games, and the Gay Marriage Vote

I went down to these ruins by the lake today. Where I sometimes like to go to think about things and chillout. I've been mourning my country recently. As well as that poor dead gay guy. But my blogging friend Scout said even spirit warriors need to take a walk in the woods now and then. So I did and it worked!! I watched my dog chase rabbits. I smoked a joint. And soon I felt mellower than I had in weeks.

So mellow in fact that when I returned I even found something nice to say about Alberta. You know the yankee wannabe one-party Banana Republic and wingnut breeding ground. Hard to believe isn't it? But it's true!!! I'm happy to report that from now on the rednecks in Calgary will no longer be allowed to defecate in public.

The bylaw, which takes effect immediately, makes it illegal to spit, fight, carry a sheath knife, urinate or defecate in public or put one's feet up on public property.

Wow!! Isn't that great?? Although what are all those rednecks and homeless people supposed to do? Move to Saskatchewan? .........still Alberta is just a little less stinkier today... Now all they got to do is deal with their growing hooker and syphilis problem.

But of course that's a purely Albertan affair...

What I want to know is when are these syphilitic hooker ReformCon pigs, who have hijacked our country and are destroying its values, going to stop shitting on OUR Parliament??????!!!!!!!!!

Today these nazi cons announced that they will hold their so-called free vote on gay marriage before Parliament adjourns. Well whoopee shit.... If these porkers think I trust them I don't. If they think I'm grateful I'm not.

This vote should never have been held. You don't vote on the equality rights of a minority. Not after they've been affirmed by the Supreme Court. The first time it was an outrage. This time it's an abomination.

The only reason Great Leader is holding a vote before Christmas is to divide and embarrass the Liberals right after their convention. But he'll have to appease his wingnut base who wanted the vote delayed. So you can be sure they'll get their bleeding pound of gay flesh.

Some kind of foul amendment will be introduced or promised. A promise to turn marriages into civil unions. Or introduce an Orwellian so-called Defence of Marriage Act. You can be sure the wingnut base will get the wink wink. To go ahead and bash gays. You can be sure that bigot bishops, like Calgary's Freaky Freddy, will never give up

The bitchop is one of those homophobes who spends more time talking about homosexuality.Than even gay people do. If you know what I mean...

The kind of creepy homophobe that when you bump into them you're not really sure whether they want to kill you. Or blow you. Or both. Ugh. Help!!!!

Freaky Freddy has gone on record as wanting gay people jailed. He doesn't want anything done to stop gay kids from being bullied. He thinks gay love is the worst thing on earth. Just like this rabid rabbi thinks homosexuality is worse than the holocaust.

"There is something worse than taking an innocent person and exterminating them in this world, and that is when you take a person and exterminate him in this world and in the next world..... You kill the person in this world and in the next world by bringing him into licentious sin whether its adultery, or other perversion or homosexuality, sexual sin. That is worse than killing."

Are these freaks sicko or what? Why aren't they in a lunatic asylum? It's so depressing. Except that... back in Israel. Two gay lovers found some justice. And we helped them!!!

Hmmm....Maybe there is still hope for Canada.Maybe we can still serve as a force for good and tolerance in this world. Maybe this vote will send out a better message than I thought it would. And show the world that some of our values are still alive in the rubble. Maybe this country is still as big and as beautiful as it once was. Just a little bruised..

But as for Alberta....... it's fucked.

Not only is the U.S. born wingnut homophobe and firewall separatist Ted Morton a serious candidate for President of Alberta.

Not only is he being secretly supported against a more moderate candidate by Stephen Harper and Stockwell Day.

Now the jackass Morton even has a song! And it's baaaaaaaad!!!!

It kind of reminds me of the music from the movie Deliverance..... Or the kind of song the good ol' boys of the Klan would hum. On their way to a lynching.

Oh yeah. Ted Moron is da man with da plan allrite...Just like the secret religious extremist Stephen Harper. Who has a plan for all of us...

See what I mean? As long as crazy homophobes like Jackass Moron, Freaky Freddy, and Weirdo Harpo roam the land singing their Klan songs. And playing their bigot games. And we're not safe. And gay kids are not safe. Or free to be who they are.

The battle for same-sex marriage may be drawing to a close. Or not.

But the battle against bigotry will go on...

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Santa's Parade and Harper's Klan Klown World Tour

I took my little niece and nephew to the Santa Claus parade today. They loved it of course. Some things may change. The reindeer were a little too plastic for me. But Santa is Santa. And the little tykes went berzerk. Yikes!!! I had to hold one back from making a beeline for that big white bear and presenting him with his extortion list of Christmas demands!!

I wish I could feel as happy and as hopeful as those children did this afternoon. But because I'm a gay and proud Canadian, living in Stephen Harper's Canada, I can't. I'm too sad and depressed.

Even in my worse nightmares I never imagined how much damage Harper's ReformCon thugs could do to the fabric of Canada. With only a minority government.

But the damage at home can hopefully one day be repaired. What absolutely sickens me is the damage these crazy ReformCons are doing to our image abroad. Damage that will take a generation to repair. Once I was proud to be a Canadian. Now I'm embarrassed.

Rona "Village Idiot" Ambrose's little Kyoto field trip was humiliating enough. But Great Leader's Klan Klown World Tour is even worse.

He's been going around like some kind of chickenhawk wingnut preacher, making a big fuss about human rights in other countries.
Making enemies everywhere, and making Canada look like a country of retarded rubes and aggressive little yankee stooges.. And the worst thing is he's bragging about it.

The Conservative government has introduced a gutsier, pull-no-punches style to its dealings on the international stage, Prime Minister Stephen Harper declared Sunday, suggesting the Liberals had lacked courage in the past.

“We've had very frank discussions with a wide range of leaders, including although it was not a very long discussion, a very frank discussion with President Hu of China — a distinct impression, if I may say that, that the Chinese aren't used to that from a Canadian government, but I can't speak for them,”

Wow!! Can you believe that? Posing as a toughtalking champion of human rights. While fucking with the equality rights of millions of Canadians back home.

But the worst thing is that by acting so neocon loutish and warlike dumb .... he's destroying any last chance of Canadians being able to act as true peacemakers in a world that so badly needs them. Of being able to work with both sides to help bring about an end to hostilities. Instead of just helping one side kill the other.

We've already lost so many things.... Now we've lost that proud legacy. We're not only letting the planet burn. We've thrown away one of the tools humanity had to try to stop the killing. Or rather this fat dumb pig has.

I'd laugh...Is that a beluga evening gown or a tightly stretched sausage skin? .....But it's too fucking tragic. This montrous blimp has been allowed to get away with murdering our Canadian values. And nobody has done nothing. The opposition is divided. Nobody seems to care. I must admit I sometimes feel like giving up myself. There is no passion left for anything in this country. It's all grey, boring and blah blah blah.

I feel like I don't belong. Even my friends are on my case. A gay blogger said the other day I should try anger management. As if I hadn't for eight years. So that hurt. This weekend I even thought about giving up blogging. What's the point of doing anything? If all people care about is cheap politics and making money? Nobody is listening. And the country's soul is already lost.

Maybe it's just time to return to being the other Simon I once was. On my very own desert island in my mind. Far from this dying place.
Far from anywhere....

Where I used to think about a lot of things. But never said a word...Except this time my friends would be there. Especially the one who cares about me enough to know what I'm feeling and want to say. Even when I can't. The tough but gentle French guy I love more than life itself. The one who for some mysterious reason, also loves me.So this time it would be paradise....instead of a lonely hell on earth ...

But then someone sent me a comment on my last post. Someone named Rashid. And this is what that gay brother wrote:

"This article meant a lot to me, and thanks. It shows that, maybe people really do care. Maybe the world hasn't gone mad, maybe there is still love in this world... I am a gay boy who has been fighting for his life, fighting everyday against suicide. So thanks. :)

That really touched me. Gave me a real jolt. And I remembered that all I'm really fighting for is a world where gay boys like Rashid don't have to feel lonely, afraid, sad or suicidal anymore. And can find the love every human being needs. And know that it's out there. And that it will it find them . And above all so they know that me and my gay brothers care and think about them. So they're never really alone.

Never mind the fate of Canada. That's enuff for I'm not giving up. And neither is Rashid. Hear that brother? If you read this trust're loved . And besides you don't want to make me mad....

You know one of the truly great things about being gay and lesbian is that we reach out to each other across the barriers of race, language, culture, and religion. We could help serve as bridges between people. Bring down some barriers. Help build a more peaceful and loving world. If only they would let us. If only they didn't want to kill us. Or ruin our lives.

In the meantime..... I'm looking forward to the next big parade. And I hope Rashid will be there. Oh not the Santa Claus parade. I wouldn't wish that experience on any gay boy. I've never seen so many screaming kids in my life!!!

No....our Victory Parade!!!

After all this depressing shit. And all that sadness. Isn't that worth fighting for?

Won't that day be grand!!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Rona Ambrose, the Homophobe, and the Ugly Canadians

Once upon a time, not so long ago, wearing a little maple leaf on your knapsack was something that could save your life in the uncivilized parts of the world. And in the civilized parts of the world like Europe could practically get you laid. Over and over again. Oh Canada!!

Everybody loved the little scouts from the frozen land of beavers, indians, igloos and polar bears. Who could act like toothless thugs on ice. But could also be such good peacekeepers. And so caring and different from the Americans.. For a brief shining moment, when we announced plans to legalize gay marriage and decriminalize dope, we were even cool. But alas my fellow hosers not anymore.....

And it's not just the tourists who find us boring. We've disappointed the world.

At first when we decided to ignore Kyoto, decided to hold another vote on gay marriage, turned our backs on Europe, and started blowing the Chimp Regime, my European friends were just shocked. Ooh la la ... Mein Gott!!...... Wot da fuck?

Then when the ReformCons killed the dope bill they started to pity us. Then when I explained how thirty percent of these Nazis had managed to hijack a whole big country that pity turned to scorn.

And now after Rona Ambrose's latest amateur act I'm sure they think we're just a fucking joke.

"There are some who are using the Kyoto Protocol to create divisions within our country, but we will not let that happen."

Huh? Let me get this straight. She turns up at a conference about Kyoto but says nothing about Kyoto. Except to say it's being used to divide Canadians. Then she goes on to attack the Liberals. At an international conference? In front of the whole world???

Talk about airing our dirty laundry .... Oh boy...I don't know about you....but I'm going to have honour Ambrose for that rube performance by making her the first double recipient of my Village Idiot Award!!

What a cringing embarrassment. Talk about leaving a stink trail around the world. These ReformCons are making us all look bad. It took Canada more than fifty years to build up a reputation as a progressive country and a voice for peace and sanity in the world. And these Con Klowns have shredded it in less than a year.

Now thanks to Cleopatra Ambrose, Peter "the dog" MacKay, and of course Great Leader, we're not just seen as nasty little warlike yankee stooges. We're seen as provincial rubes and really dumb ones. Move over world here come the boring and ugly Canadians!!!!

Great...... now the people in the uncivilized parts all shoot at us. And in the civilized parts we can't even get a mercy fuck. .....

But what do you expect when poor dumb Rona's Chief of Staff is Darrell Reid? The former head of Focus on the Family. And the guy really pulling the strings in the ReformCon Ministry of Environmental Denial and Disinformation

Who happens to be really chummy with this other Harper theocon adviser the homophobe porker Charles McVety.

Whose hatred of gay people is only matched by his hatred of environmentalists. Who he blames for trying to stop the planet from burning. And delaying the return of his freakin' squeaking " Messiah."

This twisted homophobe hates them so much he even blames them for the downfall of the wingnut closet queen Ted Haggard.

Evangelicals had joined forces with radical environmentalists, who are well known for being ungodly and sexually immoral. James 4:4 says “ Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.”

So there it is . These creepy crawly homophobes don't just want to kill gay people. They want to kill the planet. If straight Canadians don't care about us. Maybe they'll care about that. Maybe then the left can unite, and throw these crazy theocons out of office. Before they torch our country.

In the meantime we'll take care of see something in his deranged rant jumped out at me:

"If it can happen to a great leader such as Rev. Haggard... then it can happen to you or me...."

Hmmm.... really? Not chrystal meth and man ass surely? suspicious...... I think I can work with that....I think it's time McVety was asked some hard questions about his own sexuality. And since I've been going on about the Europeans. Why don't we try to get him on this guy's show?

Nicht nicht baby!! I thought it was pretty funny. Although having the real Betty McVety would have been better.

And I would have enjoyed it more if all that laughing hadn't reminded me of all the people all over the world who are laughing at us.

And asking the question more Canadians should be asking themselves....

Whatever happened to Canada?

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Dead Gay Boys and Canada's Shameful Past

Their reconstructed faces stared out at us today like two ghastly mannequins from another time. A very bad time. When gay people were routinely blackmailed and beaten up. And those who killed them often got away with murder.

I wonder who those lost boys were.... I wonder what happened to them. And why it took forty years for the police to reconstruct their faces, and try to give them a name. But most of all I wonder why now? And why the new head of the Ontario Provincial Police Julian Fantino was at the news conference this morning?

The same Julian Fantino who as Police Chief in London, Ontario was responsible for one of the worst anti-gay witchunts in Canadian history. The anti-gay terror crusade he called Project Guardian.

You don't think he's trying to link gays and criminality again, do you?

But I did have to laugh at what the OPP inspector said today to explain why two gay boys could just disappear. Instead of just admitting that back then the police were beating up gays and jailing them. So they probably didn't try hard enough.

“In 1967, people were hitch-hiking across the country quite a bit. Young people were not so tied to home. The Vietnam War was on and there were young American men coming to Canada to avoid the draft...."

....And a Canadian named Everett Klippert was sentenced to life in prison for the crime of being gay.

Too bad the two dead gay boys didn't live to see 1969. So they could have known what it was like not to be treated as criminals. Aren't we lucky that times have changed. Even if the hatred hasn't.

"Legalizing same-sex marriage would amount to societal approval of .... destructive behaviour. .....That teaching will bring death, physical death through sexually transmitted diseases, emotional and psychological death through dysfunctional relationships and worst of all spiritual death through loss of salvation."

"To be set free from the slavery to sexual deviance, which strips us of true freedom and binds us, is a goal for all to embrace..."

Yikes! That's a new one. I've never been called a slave before. Oh Massa Massa it's your niggah Simon!!! ....Uh oh....I don't think I'd make a very good one...

But you know if being free means living the twisted life denying inhumanly creepy crazy lives these wingnuts live. Then I think I'd rather be a slave to long as after fucking our brains out we get to revolt in the end. And cut our massa's throats....

But still.....forty years after Canada decided that being gay wasn't a murder victims are still being treated as predators and criminals who deserve to die. And we're still debating whether gay and lesbian Canadians should be allowed to fall in love and marry? What's wrong with this country?

Why couldn't our politicians just do the right thing? Like those in South Africa did today.

"When we attained our democracy, we sought to distinguish ourselves from an unjust painful past, by declaring that never again shall it be that any South African will be discriminated against on the basis of colour, creed, culture and sex...."

Too bad our politicians couldn't have done more to distinguish Canada from its unjust and painful past...

Instead of celebrating the equality rights of more than a million Canadians, they dragged their feet. They had the nerve to to call it a free vote. On our human rights. And now they're threatening to take those rights away. And encouraging the hatemongers to come after us. And most Canadians couldn't give a shit. What a small country we've become.

And then I thought of those two dead boys. Who never lived to know what it was like to be free in their own country. Instead of criminals. In Canada. Just forty years ago.

And their sad mannequin faces reminded of something else. Of how far we've come and how far we still have to go.

As well as reminding me of these guys.....

From criminals and lost boys and murder victims to cake toppers. God forgive me.

But the way I figure's the same's the same hatred.

So it's the same struggle. And because we will always remember Canada's shame. And what they did to us. And all the murdered gay people.

It's not a struggle we will ever allow ourselves to lose. For me and all my brothers and sisters who are still fighting for equality today.

And now for two lost, murdered, and forgotten boys calling out for justice from a hateful time....

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Commander Harper and the Christian Terrorists

When I first saw this picture of Stephen Harper and Michaelle Jean at the Remembrance Day ceremonies in Ottawa, I got quite a shock. What the fuck was Great Leader doing up on that podium taking the salute? Was he now the Commander-in-Chief instead of her? Just like his master Chimp Bush is in Amerika? I started to panic. Was this a coup-d'etat ? And why oh why hadn't the Canadian Resistance called and warned me to go underground?

Then I realized it was only 11 am on a Saturday morning and they hadn't yet woken up.... And Great Leader was only shooting another scene for his upcoming campaign video "Commander Harper "....soon to be known as The Fat Nerd as Warrior ad.... Or just The Fatso

What an idiot I am!! I could have slapped myself...Tubby couldn't threaten anyone. It's the kind of people he worships with we've really got to worry about. The apocalyptic and homophobic Evangelicals. Some of whom are starting to sound like Christian terrorists

Christian resistance is required, suggests the report, on several fronts where government encroaches on religious freedom such as secularism, pluralism, homosexuality, abortion and euthanasia.

" a modern democratic state it is much more a question of various graduated responses, which may begin with a simple and entirely lawful withdrawal of co-operation with state authorities before progressing through various forms of resistance focussed on a particular area, to ultimately deliberate defiance and even perhaps revolution."

You can read more about it here.

But it sure sounds like a threat to me. Don't these freaky wingnuts understand that those kind of Christian parties have gone out of style?

But it does serve as a warning to us all. The Harper government is crawling with these theocons. The Minister of Public Security is this guy. How secure can I feel? How safe can any gay or lesbian Canadian feel?

And then there's the redneck so-called Minister of Justice. What a joke. When he isn't attacking gays. He's attacking the Supreme Court. Talk about a sinister conspiracy. And the enemy within.

How safe can we all feel? Who is going to keep tabs on these fanatics? I think Stephen Harper needs to tell Canadians whether he's going to follow the laws of our country or the dictates of his church.

In the meantime I just want to say I'm ready for the worst.

I'm going underground the day Harper and his Theocrats get a majority.

I've even picked out my costume.

Don't you love the hat?

Religion is supposed to be about love. But it's turned into an instrument of hate.

They say it couldn't happen in Canada.

But I'm not taking any chances....

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Remembrance Day 2006

"So when I’m killed, don’t mourn for me,

Shot, poor lad, so bold and young,

Killed and gone—don’t mourn for me.

On your lips my life is hung:

O friends and lovers, you can save

Your playfellow from the grave."


Fairies and Fusiliers 1918

Friday, November 10, 2006

Curing Pastor Penis and the Republican Closet Queens

Well let's start with the good news. It looks as if Ted Haggard, aka Pastor Penis, is about to get what he always wanted. Five or six men on their knees laying their hands on him. For about five years. That should make up for lost time. Although his "spiritual restoration" does have some risks. All"laying on of hands" can be really exhausting. And he can't afford to fail.

"Guys just wear out and they can no longer subject themselves to the process."

....Those who fail "end up selling cars or shoes or something, and being miserable and angry the rest of their lives...."

Yikes! I'm not surprised about the wearing out part. The last time six or seven older men had their way with me I slept like a baby. But who knew car salesman were like that? Remind me about that the next time I buy a car. So I can tell the salesman to forget about the free windshield wipers. And just blow me.

But seriously..... I do wish Pastor Penis all the luck in the world. I'm not the guy to kick someone when they're down. On the other hand if I ever bumped into this guy all bets would be off. I'd wear my steel toed boots.... and use him to polish them...

He's Ken Melhman, the Chairman of the Republican National Committee. And the latest Republican Klown to be outed

Now this closet queen traitor is a nasty piece of business. As head of the monstrous Republican War Machine he's not only responsible for all kinds of homophobic atrocities. He's also the one ultimately responsible for this outrageous and racist ad aimed at Democratic Senate candidate Harold Ford.

But Mehlman's closet queeniness is not exactly a secret to some people in the gay community. In fact they even have their own version of the Harold Ford ad. And this one is for Kenny....

You know it's funny.....but it isn't. All Closet queens are pathetic. And their miserable lives are their own worst punishment. But they do an enormous amount of damage. Instead of providing young gays with positive role models. They infect them with their own self loathing. And the results can be tragic.

But closet queens who actively work against our cause, like Haggard and Mehlman, are even worse. They turn their self loathing against us. They demonize us to fight their own inner demons. They collaborate with our vicious enemies to hurt us. When they are really hurting themselves. You can't be more of a traitor or a poodle than that.

The good news in all of this is that all these right-wing closet queen klowns are shoving a nuclear dildo right up the ass of the Republican Party. The ridiculous gay Log Cabin Republicans are blaming the social conservatives for the midterm debacle.

And the crazy wingnuts are praising the Democrats.

At first I figured I'd put my money on the wingnuts. There seem to be an awful lot of them. But after receiving this latest communique from the Gay Underground I changed my mind. There seem to be an awful lot of gay Republicans as well...

Uh oh...can the confetti...I'm putting my money back on Pastor Penis and his wingnuts. Gay Republican may be an oxymoron. But these traitor fags are just morons.

But it doesn't really matter. As long as one group forces the other out of the Republican Party, that's what really counts.

So all I can say is.....Go for it bitches!!! May the best closet queen lose.....

As for Pastor Penis.... I'm rooting for him...but with all his new friends willing to go down on their knees for him. And for free.

My little gay birdy tells me...

He's going to end up selling cars..

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Doggy Horror and the Law of the Jungle

Uh Oh... more disturbing news out of Alberta... As you know I've been making a real effort to try to portray the redneck province in a more positive light. And a couple of weeks ago when I read this story, I figured I'd hit the jackpot.

Or whatever they call it in Rube

Finally a good reason for other Canadians to visit the province. Not only lots and lots of cheap cars!!!!

But lots and lots of desperate hookers who'll do ANYTHING for five bucks!!!! As long as you got a motel room....

But now I'm afraid I'm going to have to issue a travel advisory.....In addition to the permanent warnings in place about rampant homophobia, religious wingnutery, bad air, criminal greed, and of course impending desertification.

But this advisory is even worse than a regular Alberta Alert. It's so horrible I can hardly describe it.

It turns out the rubes have been dragging dogs behind their pickup trucks. And then other rubes chase after the doggy draggers and try to lynch them.

Daisy Duke had a broken neck, back and pelvis, a bag pulled over her head, a rope around her neck and all four legs bound.

A 100-metre trail of blood showed where the dog had been dragged behind a vehicle.

My first reaction after reading this story was to side with the mob and think about what should be done with the dog draggers. Should they be mutilated before being lynched? Or simply drawn and quartered?

Like this guy...

he prisoner(s) were hanged in the normal way (i.e. without a drop to ensure that the neck was not broken) but cut down whilst still conscious. The penis and testicles were cut off and the stomach was slit open. The intestines and heart were removed and burned before them. The other organs were torn out and finally the head was cut off and the body divided into four quarters. The head and quarters were parboiled to prevent them rotting too quickly and then displayed upon the city gates as a grim warning to all."

At first it sounded just about right....especially the parboiled part.... But then I changed my mind. I'm a huge animal lover. I can't stand cruelty of any kind. And I love my dog Kerouac almost as much as I love myself. Which as you know is a lot. But what's the good of killing monsters if you are just going to become a monster yourself?

That's why I have always been against the death penalty. Not because I feel sorry for the monsters and killers. But because we have to be better than them. If not what's the point?
So naturally I am against stringing up this guy.

What the hell good would that do? He'd just be one more body in a country that has been turned into a slaughterhouse.

As that Baghdad Burning blogger JJ links to writes:

"Iraq has not been this bad in decades. The occupation is a failure. The various pro-American, pro-Iranian Iraqi governments are failures. The new Iraqi army is a deadly joke. Is it really time to turn Saddam into a martyr?"

Exactly...instead of just letting him fade away in a lonely jail cell in some boring place like Switzerland they'll kill him. And ten years from now there will be a statue of Saddam just where the old one was. But what do you expect? The United States set up the Iraqi Court, paid for it, and advises it.

So naturally it's just a copy of murderous Amerika and its state sanctioned Death Machine. (Sigh) Wouldn't North America look so pretty and blue without that ugly red stain?

You'd think after all the tragic errors of the Iraq war, the Americans would be smarter and better than that. But they're not because in murderous Amerika capital punishment is all about revenge. Instead of results.

Won't they ever learn? Don't they understand that hanging Hussein won't make things better. It will only make them worse. Or that if you're not fighting for a better more civilized world, you're fighting and dying for nothing. You have to be pretty dum not to understand that.

Or a dog........ Like my pal Kerouac.

When I asked him what should be done to the doggy draggers in Alberta. Here's what he had to say...

The way I see it.....he may be the best doggy pal in the world.

But the law of the jungle is the law of the jungle.

So that's why I'm in charge.

Oh yeah BTW....if anyone knows of any OTHER good reason I shouldn't visit the redneck province of Alberta.

Please let me know. Thanks...

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Pastor Teddy and his Big Gay Massages

Praise the Lord!!! Pass the lube!!! Pastor Teddy, the traitor closet queen, now says all he got from the gay escort was some meth. That he didn't use. And a massage.

"I was tempted, I bought it, but I did not use it....I never kept it very long because it was wrong....I did call him to buy some meth ...but I threw it away.....I went there for a massage..."

Hmmm.....I don't know...I want to believe in miracles. But I just have two questions. One, I can understand throwing out $200 bucks of meth once or twice. You can't have sex all the time. And never eat. But once a month for three years? Isn't that kinda... expensive?

And two. When twisted self loathing homophobe closet queens say they go to escorts to get a massage. Isn't that just closet code for getting fucked in the ass?

Because....and I don't know how to say this ....but Pastor Teddy's honey hustler, meth dealer and masseur doesn't look like a bottom to me....

Oh Lordy....Something tells me that Pastor Teddy spent a lot of time on his knees not praying to Jesus. Just gagging and being called a bitch. And unless he cops a plea, and quickly, we're going to hear a lot more about those Big Gay " massages." And it ain't gonna be pretty...

Although....when I saw him with his wife being grilled by a tv reporter, I must admit I felt a little sorry for him. I don't like to see anyone publicly humiliated. Not even a homophobe. Remember we only hate them because they hate us. We're the love warriors.

But then I watched this video and I changed my mind....

Oh about NOT having the last laugh.....I really do want to feel sorry for him. I mean from everything I've seen and read about him, he's not just a pathetic closet queen traitor. He's absolutely nuts.

"He called the evil forces that dominated Colorado Springs—and every other metropolitan area in the country—“Control.”

Sometimes, he says, Control would call him late on Saturday night, threatening to kill him. “Any more impertinence out of you, Ted Haggard,” he claims Control once told him, “and there will be unrelenting pandemonium in this city.”

But I can't feel sorry for him because he's not just a crazy homophobe. He is a powerful one. And his wonky wingnuts collaborate with evil right-wing governments to oppress women, gays and the poor. Chimp Bush is counting on them to shore up his sagging fortunes. And so is Stephen Harper.

"Despite their professed Christian beliefs, many theological and social conservatives have a strong survival of the fittest streak. They want a hierarchical society with heterosexual white males at the top.

Now theo-cons and socio-cons have a powerful friend at court. Ian Brodie is Prime Minister Stephen Harper's chief of staff and the intellectual arch-foe of the CCP's affirmative action to promote the rights of French Canadians, women, aboriginals, gays, immigrants and the disabled.

It's a marriage of convenience between the neocons and the theocons. Just like the one between the churches and the Nazis.

But don't take my word for it .......Why don't we end tonight by giving Pastor Teddy the last word. And have a British journalist ask him the Nuremberg question...

Achtung brothers! Show these theocon nazis no mercy!

You know how those bastard homophobes love to kick us in the head when we are down ?

Well now it's our turn....

Have a great weekend everyone!