Saturday, November 04, 2006

Pastor Teddy and his Big Gay Massages

Praise the Lord!!! Pass the lube!!! Pastor Teddy, the traitor closet queen, now says all he got from the gay escort was some meth. That he didn't use. And a massage.

"I was tempted, I bought it, but I did not use it....I never kept it very long because it was wrong....I did call him to buy some meth ...but I threw it away.....I went there for a massage..."

Hmmm.....I don't know...I want to believe in miracles. But I just have two questions. One, I can understand throwing out $200 bucks of meth once or twice. You can't have sex all the time. And never eat. But once a month for three years? Isn't that kinda... expensive?

And two. When twisted self loathing homophobe closet queens say they go to escorts to get a massage. Isn't that just closet code for getting fucked in the ass?

Because....and I don't know how to say this ....but Pastor Teddy's honey hustler, meth dealer and masseur doesn't look like a bottom to me....

Oh Lordy....Something tells me that Pastor Teddy spent a lot of time on his knees not praying to Jesus. Just gagging and being called a bitch. And unless he cops a plea, and quickly, we're going to hear a lot more about those Big Gay " massages." And it ain't gonna be pretty...

Although....when I saw him with his wife being grilled by a tv reporter, I must admit I felt a little sorry for him. I don't like to see anyone publicly humiliated. Not even a homophobe. Remember we only hate them because they hate us. We're the love warriors.

But then I watched this video and I changed my mind....

Oh about NOT having the last laugh.....I really do want to feel sorry for him. I mean from everything I've seen and read about him, he's not just a pathetic closet queen traitor. He's absolutely nuts.

"He called the evil forces that dominated Colorado Springs—and every other metropolitan area in the country—“Control.”

Sometimes, he says, Control would call him late on Saturday night, threatening to kill him. “Any more impertinence out of you, Ted Haggard,” he claims Control once told him, “and there will be unrelenting pandemonium in this city.”

But I can't feel sorry for him because he's not just a crazy homophobe. He is a powerful one. And his wonky wingnuts collaborate with evil right-wing governments to oppress women, gays and the poor. Chimp Bush is counting on them to shore up his sagging fortunes. And so is Stephen Harper.

"Despite their professed Christian beliefs, many theological and social conservatives have a strong survival of the fittest streak. They want a hierarchical society with heterosexual white males at the top.

Now theo-cons and socio-cons have a powerful friend at court. Ian Brodie is Prime Minister Stephen Harper's chief of staff and the intellectual arch-foe of the CCP's affirmative action to promote the rights of French Canadians, women, aboriginals, gays, immigrants and the disabled.

It's a marriage of convenience between the neocons and the theocons. Just like the one between the churches and the Nazis.

But don't take my word for it .......Why don't we end tonight by giving Pastor Teddy the last word. And have a British journalist ask him the Nuremberg question...

Achtung brothers! Show these theocon nazis no mercy!

You know how those bastard homophobes love to kick us in the head when we are down ?

Well now it's our turn....

Have a great weekend everyone!


  1. Dude, you're really on top of this shit. All of this stuff with the hypocrite/freak pastor just happened yesterday and you're all over it like white on rice. Makes me feel like a total slacker! And thanks for posting the YouTube clip. I hadn't seen it and it's important that I did because, like you, I almost felt bad for the guy for a moment this afternoon. But he really is a piece of shit that deserves to fall long and hard. No matter what these types do, the truth is that hate can never be considered a Christian value.

  2. Anonymous1:28 PM

    Looking at Pastor Teddy, I think by the shape of his big freaky mouth alone that there was more than massages going on. Big, round, fishy looking lips. Whatever could he have been up to?

    Or down to, rather.

    wink wink nudge nudge.

  3. Anonymous8:48 PM

    Mike Jones is hot dude and looks awesome for 49. He must have had to really, really take some gravol pills before the good rev showed up for his regular meth induced S & F sessions. With all of these vile phonies being outed in the US, can we please start working on the ones in Canada please. Surely, a few of those homo-fixated blow hards must be hiding something. Escorts, please come forward. It's sickening to think how twisted one must be to stand in front of thousands of people and say hateful and degrading things about your own life. I guess it's true though the more you hear it, the more you believe it.

  4. Anonymous2:49 AM

    ha, simon, we used the same photo, but i beefed it up a bit. you're right, jones does not look like a bottom by any means!!!

    jone's timing, and foley's pages timing has been impecable for the g.o.p, and no coincedence.....i just wonder what the cons will come up with. aside from saddam's conviction on sunday, will they pull off any great battles, will another osama video emerge, or (hopefully not) another disaster occur?

    good gawd, why can't these people just admit they're bi or queer? turtle island's conqueror roots of puritans and victorian era 'fathers' has virtually disabled people from addressing their own sexuality. a sad shame with tragic results.

  5. You know I'm not big on outing closet queens... But Pastor Pig was really good at what he did. And really dangerous. So although I do feel sorry for his wife and his kids...I'm glad he was brought down. And the escort deserves the Gay Medal of Honour. Even if it's only a tin one...
    As Waterboy is the time for our escorts to come forward. And bring down our homegrown closet queen bigots...