Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Free Scotland, the Klan Zoo, and the End of Canada

Wow!! Just when I thought Canada and Quebec were heading for a nasty divorce. After all that nation nonsense. And we'd be in the headlines again. Just like the Hollywood stars. It seems that Britain and Scotland are going to steal our brief moment in the spotlight. By splitting up first.

And the worst thing is they don't just want Scotland and England to separate. They want Wales and Northern Ireland to become independent too!

Our poor little two-way split wouldn't even be a player. We'd be lucky if the world even noticed...

Although can you imagine how the breakup of the U.K. would play in Quebec? I imagine the Quebecois being prudent people would wait for a couple of years to see how things worked out. And then my gut tells me they'd go for it. Just like Scotland should.

"In reality, the political cultures of the two countries have drifted so far apart, they are no longer compatible. The Scots want a Scandinavian-style social democracy with high taxes, generous welfare and big government. In Scottish politics, there are virtually no right-of-center voters left..."

The English want a U.S.-style free market with lower taxes, and a smaller state. The only reason they can't have it is because of the Scots. That is hardly healthy...."

Talk about Canada and Quebec....

Something tells me that Canada better have a contingency plan ready for an After Quebec and maybe After Alberta country. So despite our pathetic state of constitutional denial. It won't be too much of a shock.

In fact, maybe it's time we all split from Canada. The Atlantic provinces could form a country as well as Quebec and Ontario. Manitoba and Saskatchewan could band together or join Ontario. British Columbia could finally turn it's back on the rockies and face its future in the Pacific Rim. And then they'd be the First Nations. And as for the Banana Republic country of Alberta it could become a dinosaur park.

Maybe it's just time to be really honest and acknowledge that this country is becoming like a real bad marriage. And that there's nothing holding us together anymore. Once we shared Canadian values. Now we don't.

Once I felt proud to be a Canadian. Now I'm ashamed. You see the brutal truth is like a lot of people in this country I don't want to live in a country that includes Alberta. Or live in a country that is governed by nazi theocon Albertans. Why would I? Why would anyone?

I don't want to live in a place where filthy bigot homophobes scream for my gay blood. And attack women's rights and other minority groups to feed the monsters of the religious right. Or blow the butchers of the Bush Regime. And tell the rest us what to do. That's not my kind of country. That's a Klan Zoo.

I'd rather live in a country called Quebec or Ontario, with people who share my values. Where I could be truly free and not have to look over my shoulder all the time. For the crazy wingnut quoting his murderous Hate Bible. Or mouthbreathing bigot with the baseball bat. Who would kill my lover too.

You see that makes it personal for me.....just like it is for the Scots and the Brits...Oh there may be many reasons for the separatist surge. The weight of history, devolution, and North Sea oil. But the main reason is just too much bad blood. You got a taste of it during the soccer wars. And now it's even worse.

Just like it is here....for once let's face the facts. There is just too much hate in this country and not enough shared values to keep us together anymore. Just for the sake of staying together.

The chorus of hatred and threats aimed at the Quebecois is now a deafening howl. The chorus of hatred against gays is now a bloodthirsty scream. Native people are angry and frustrated. We can't agree on anything. It's time to breakup this dysfunctional family before we start killing each other.

Why should anyone put up with that kind of aggravation? For a piece of cloth on a stick.. a set of values that are stinking in the grave... and a constitution signed by an English Queen.

Or a stinkin' corrupt Liberal Party that would discriminate against gay teens. As if they weren't discriminated and brutalized enough. Now they want to criminalize them for making love. What is it about the evil heterosexuals? How fucked up are those freaks?How much gay blood do they want.? How much lower can those stinking bigot breeders go?

But let's look at it on the bright side....... If we separated we wouldn't have to live with each other anymore. There would be no useless quarrels or hatemongering. No constitution to worry about. Everybody could just concentrate on living with the people they want to live with. And building their own societies according to their own values.

The rednecks would build Klan worship centres , gay concentration camps and extermination centres. And monuments to greed. While other countries in the Canadian Confederation would build schools, daycare centers and hospitals.

And even Alberta would be a better place. Now that you'd need a tourist visa to visit it. It would just be another exotic destination. And think how much fun the kiddies would have...

You know what happened to the dinosaurs coz they couldn't adapt. Their world ended with a bang. Our country is dying of bigotry and right-wing craziness. This isn't Canada anymore it's AlbertaCan.

Let's separate from it while we still can...

Scotland forever! Go for it Ontario! Bye Bye Alberta...

Vive le Quebec Libre!!!!


Anonymous said...

hi time the u.k. were in the final throws of breaking a part. scotland was given it's own parliament only about 8 years ago but the brits still controlled the purse strings , and in that 'oh so condescending imperialist' way.

'countries' are totally outmoded. the indigenous people everywhere, and that means the picts in scotland, are out salvation.....mother clan and circle, consensus and all that good stuff.

if canada breaks apart then the homophobes can all move to alberta and stage broke back mountian in new context. mind you, they'll be on treaty 8 land :)

Anonymous said...

and vive les Quebece libres!

let's kill it Simon. kill it good and dead so someday we can rebuild it again the way it was meant to be. without reservations. without wanna-be-Texas leaguers like the Moron and King Ralph and Stephen Harpie. tryo to build it without a bunch of bigots glaring at everyone and each other with long knives behind their backs.

smoked meat and poutine and bannock will be the official foods. we could discuss merging ENglish and French into one language ((I'm thinking Frenglish?)). or switching to Esperanto or ASL. ha.


it's been a shitty Yankee Thanksgiving down here frere. it's tough to belive that things will get better back home. maybe i never should have left.

i guess there's solace in the fact that no matter how many pieces the country explodes into, there was a time when we were Canadien and were proud to be.

Simon said...

Hi Scout, hi Jay !! You know I think I went a little carried away a bit...I don't really want to see Canada break-up. Although I do support Scottish independence. What I would like to see here is some kind of project to reinvent Canada like Jay suggests. Some kind of rededication of our country. We could scrap the Queen...make the First Nations the foundations of our new society....and build a place that would be exciting, tolerant, inclusive ....we'd be peacemakers again instead of war makers...and not rest until there were no more children in poverty...and no more Canadians sleeping in the streets. That kind of common project would make us a country more than any stupid constitution does...