The Great War on Christmas Is With Us Again

Uh oh, don't look now, but it seems that the Great War on Christmas has begun.

And not in the United States where Donald Trump has vowed to save Christmas from the liberals and their happy holidays. 

But in Britain, where a group of religious fanatics is threatening to boycott Tesco the large supermarket chain.

For running this seasonal ad.

How the Quebec Charter of Values Ruined My Perfect Day

It was a wonderfully warm sunny day in Toronto today.

A great day off to relax and pretend that summer is still here.

I went to the beach, I spotted my second Monarch butterfly of the season in some flowers near the Island Club House, and I got to pet the baby alpaca at Far Enough Farm.

In short, it was almost the perfect day eh? Until I got home, a friend from Montreal called me and said: "I suppose you're going to write something about the Quebec Charter of Values."

And I felt like collapsing and screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Jason Kenney and the Bieber Factor

As you know I've always considered Jason Kenney's singular contribution to Canadian politics a real freak show.

I've had trouble taking that ghastly religious fanatic seriously since he said that gays were free to get married. As long as they married someone of the opposite sex.

One moment he's accusing Thomas Mulcair of being soft on religious freedom, like he did last week.

The next moment he's bashing Iran. Or swearing allegiance to Israel. And now he's been caught with his pants down in an embarrassing position. 

Stephen Harper's Scary Religious Crisis

Holy Moly. It looks as if Stephen Harper is having a full blown religious crisis.

The new polls have come down from the mountain, and they really suck.

New polling numbers from EKOS show the Conservative party’s popularity has dropped ten points overall since the 2011 spring election.

And to make matters worse, his search for a Messiah to save him, is turning out to be a nightmare.

Stephen Harper and the Christianist Threat

Uh oh. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Stephen Harper has admitted he is getting his guidance from above.

Asked about how faith influences his decisions, Harper said that he prays regularly to “ask for strength and for wisdom.”

Which explains the state our country is in, and why the Con regime is going up in flames faster than the burning bush. Or down in flames faster than the F-35.

But doesn't explain why he is ignoring the ninth commandment: Thou shalt not bear false witness.

Mitt Romney and the Mormon Question

Lordy. I must admit that I didn't think Mitt Romney's deep involvement with the Mormon Church should be an issue in the U.S. election campaign.

For compared to all his other liabilities, and character defects, or his many crass sermons in the Temple of the One Percent, it seemed so trivial.

And besides in religion-crazy America, what's one more homophobic, women hating faith, or cult?

But now after watching this video I feel I might have made a big mistake.

Pope Benny and the Gay Plot to Destroy Humanity

When I heard that Pope Benny had described gay marriage as a threat to humanity at first I was shocked.

"This is not a simple social convention, but rather the fundamental cell of every society. Consequently, policies which undermine the family threaten human dignity and the future of humanity itself," he said.

For what would that old monkey know about humanity? And how could a former member of the Hitler Youth make such a genocidal statement?

And then I felt guilty. For NOT being married, but living in sin with my boyfriend. Like Benny and his boyfriend Gorgeous Georg Gänswein. 

When the Religious Fight Each Other

Well let's see...in Iraq the Sunni are bombing the Shia.

In Nigeria, the Muslims are bombing the Christians.

In Israel, secular Jews are battling the ultra-Orthodox.

And in the Church of the Nativity, where Jesus is said to have been born, the Christians are fighting the Christians.

With brooms... 

Jason Kenney's Ridiculous War on the Veil

OK. So I'm not a big fan of religion, and I'm not a big fan of the burqa or the niqab. But then as you know I'm not a big fan of Jason Kenney either.

So I find his new war on the veil totally ridiculous.

It seems unlikely that a woman would go to the trouble of applying for citizenship, taking the test and paying the fee without a genuine desire to be classed as a Canadian citizen — just so she could secretly get away with not saying the oath.

And not just for all those excellent reasons, but also because even if nobody was wearing a veil at one of those mass swearing in ceremonies, how would we know that anyone in the room was REALLY reciting the Citizenship Oath? 

The Religious Bullies Go After Gay Kids

Don't you just love crazy religion? They are always attacking each other, claiming that only their god is the real one. Spewing gibberish and hate out of every orifice, or blowing up their rivals.

But nothing can bring them together as quickly as a chance to attack gay kids.

Christian, Jewish and Muslim representatives say they agree school bullies must be stopped, but they can't condone a requirement under the legislation proposed to deal with it that schools promote sexual tolerance through gay clubs.

"To force, especially Christian classrooms or schools, to have homosexual clubs would of course be an affront to their family values," Charles McVety, of the Institute for Canadian Values, told a joint news conference. 

The Washington Monument and the Holy Rollers

OMG. Shake me like a rattle. Or call me a prophet eh? Because as soon as I saw this.

I knew that the Christianist crazies would soon be howling at the moon, and proclaiming it to be a sign of God's wrath for the sins of America. i.e. the satanic sodomites, and the black guy in the White House.

And sure enough...



And of course, since holy money is tight these days, the old con man Pat Robertson had to get out there and make sure he got a piece of the action...



Because old Patty Cakes would never "get weird" on us would he? And when it comes to natural disasters, he knows what he's talking about.

A huge storm, Hurricane Gloria, threatened the Eastern Seaboard in 1985. Robertson took to the air on “The 700 Club” and prayed:

“In the name of Jesus, we command you to stop where you are and move northeast, away from harm.”

The storm moved, but it headed northeast and scored a direct hit on Long Island, causing millions of dollars in damage.

Lordy. All I can say is thank goodness the White House didn't come down eh?

Because we never would have heard the end of it.

Hey Patty Cakes. Shake it up baby. You ain't God's weatherman.

And John Lennon was bigger than Jesus...

Rick Perry and the Day of Hate and Pancakes

Holy prayerpalooza Batman !!! I see that brother Rick Perry, the Governator of Texas, did gather his flock around him and pray for the salvation of these United States.

Father, our heart breaks for America. We see discord at home. We see fear in the marketplace. We see anger in the halls of government, and as a nation we have forgotten who made us, who protects us, who blesses us and for that we cry out for your forgiveness.”

And no doubt for his slim chances of becoming God's bubbah in the White House. After they kick the black Mooslim out. Or lynch him.

While his screeching wingnuts raised their arms to the sky, and prayed for the destruction of their many enemies. Especially the wicked women of the world, all other false religions, and of course, Satan's little gay helpers...  



But then why should we be surprised eh? With this hellish line-up of religious extremists and bigots.

Homosexuality is kind of Engle's core issue: He helped organize a huge rally in support of California's Proposition 8, which affirmed that marriage was between one man and one woman. He called gay marriage "a sexual insanity" that would "release a spirit" in California "more demonic than Islam."

Most recently, Engle has been in the hot seat again for saying that the Joplin, Missouri tornado was the beginning of "God's redemptive judgment" against abortion.

Gawd. I mean Jebeebebus. The good news? The stadium was half empty. And it might have been billed as a Day of Prayer and Fasting.

But the fasting part was optional.

Just as well eh?

Because can you IMAGINE what might have happened if it wasn't? In Amerika? Praise the Lord, and pass the cheeseburgers !!!!! 

And my absolutely fave part? The wingnuts from the International House of Prayer (IHOP) are apparently embroiled in an ugly legal dispute with The International House of Pancakes.

(In case you're wondering, yes, the International House of Pancakes did sue IHOP-KC for trademark dilution and infringement last September. The case was settled out of court in December. Correction: The trademark infringement lawsuit filed in California has been dropped; a new suit against International House of Prayer was filed in the U.S. District Court in Western Missouri and is ongoing.)

Because somehow that seems so fitting.

You know...people keep telling me that America isn't collapsing under the weight of bad economics and crazy religion.

But holy moley Monkey God.

I don't believe them...

Benjamin Netanyahu and the Stooge Harper

Well at least now we know who is the architect of Canada's Middle East policy, the Israeli right-wing blowhard Benjamin "Bibi" Netanyahu.

At the request of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper thwarted an announcement Friday by the G-8 countries that would have supported U.S. President Barack Obama's statement that talks between the Palestinians and Israel should be based on the 1967 borders with exchanges of territory.

Great eh? Obama launches a new initiative to try to get the peace talks going again. Then Netanyahu comes to the U.S., publicly humiliates Obama, gets 39 standing ovations from the tea bagger Congress, and then calls his little stooge Harper to put the final spoke in the wheel.

The senior government official said Netanyahu told Harper that mentioning the issue of the 1967 borders in the statement, without mentioning the other issues, such as Israel as a Jewish state or opposition to the return of Palestinian refugees to Israel, will be detrimental to Israeli interests and a reward to the Palestinians.

And why is Harper doing this? Not because he gives a damn about the Israeli people. But because his rabid Christianist base believes you can't touch the borders of the Jewish state before the Battle of Gog and Magog...

Or their Messiah won't return to scoop them up.

Even though the hairy desert dweller who wrote that deranged gibberish would be confined to a mental hospital today. And restricted to posting comments to Free Dominion.

Even though as Jeffrey Goldberg points out, the more time passes without an agreement, the more the Jewish state is truly endangered, and could one day be forced to make a truly existential choice.

Either the Jews of Israel would grant the Palestinians the vote, at which point their country would lose its Jewish majority and its identity as a refuge for the Jewish people, or it would deny them the vote, and become an apartheid state. The latter option is untenable, of course: Many Jewish Israelis would be repulsed by this thought; other nations that already consider Israel a pariah would now have just cause; and Israel would lose its last remaining friend, the U.S., because no American -- including and especially young American Jews -- would identify with a country reminiscent of pre-Mandela South Africa.

Oh boy. To think we were once considered an honest broker in the Middle East. Now we're the pariah nation of the developed world.

If you thought the Cons could only destroy Canada you were wrong. Now they're after the planet. Because now they can do anything they want.

And it's all our fault. We released those monsters on an unsuspecting world. 

Yup. Ladies and gentlemen, my fellow hosers, and other idiots.

Please join Stephen Harper, the Con Stooge Orchestra, and the Tea Bagger Banjo Band.

And dance to the beat of our new Israeli overlord....



Once we were a proud people who marched to the sound of their own drum.

Now we dance to the crazed drum beat of warmongers and religious fanatics.

I don't know how those ghastly Cons could embarrass us any further in the eyes of the world.

But knowing them as I do.

I'm sure they'll find a way...

Recommend this post at Progressive Bloggers

How I'm Preparing for the End of the World

Well as you probably know by now the world is going to end tomorrow. So I have issued my final orders for tomorrow's Rapture Rupture Beach Party.

Bring your own protective head gear and wooden spears in case Jason Kenney falls out of the sky. Read Lord of the Flies because it might come in handy. And above all bring your own booze because I'm not sharing.

Oh yeah...and one more thing.

Whatever you do, do NOT travel to the United States this weekend.

Because something really scary is happening down there...



And there are going to be a lot of disappointed people on Sunday eh? Who will probably feel like shooting first..... and praying later. 

You know, the scariest thing is how many Americans believe the world is going to end tomorrow. And how normal they look.

But then throughout history people have always confused the end of an empire with their own impending demise. And in the U.S., where so many are suffering, angry, and fearful, can you really blame some of them for thinking that even death is better than that ?

Which of course is how I sometimes feel about Stephen Harper and his TheoCon government. And why I would LOVE to see them rising like bottle rockets tomorrow. With Jason Kenney screaming : "You see forty years of chastity IS a virtue !!!" Stephen Harper shouting " Wait. Wait. What about mah mah mah magnificent majority #!&?!!"

And Bev Oda wailing "Where's my LIMO ??????"

But then wouldn't we ALL like to see that?

And think of it on the bright side eh?

By Tuesday Harold Camping should be in a mental hospital, being treated for terminal disappointment and homophobia.

Most of his followers will be atheists. And we won't have to listen to any more of this end of the world madness. At least until 2012.

You know, the year the Mayans predicted we'll be DESTROYED.

OMG. Hey Sébastien...otra cerveza por favor.

Enjoy your Apocamix.

Have a great weekend everybody...



Recommend this post at Progressive Bloggers

David Kato, the Dead Lovers, and the Burning Puppy

In Uganda, the homophobia the crazy Christianists ignited, claims the life of a gentle gay hero.

“David’s death is a result of the hatred planted in Uganda by U.S. evangelicals in 2009,” Val Kalende, the chairwoman of one of Uganda’s gay rights groups, said in a statement. “The Ugandan government and the so-called U.S. evangelicals must take responsibility for David’s blood.”

And follows him to his grave

The pastor presiding over the funeral of murdered gay rights activist David Kato went on an anti-homosexual rant Friday, adding insult to injury for the circle of activists hoping to honour and bury their friend.

Villagers then refused to bury the coffin, so Kato's friends carried it to the grave and buried him themselves.

In Afghanistan, the brutish Taliban Islamists stone a young couple to death, for the crime of being in love.

The stoning lasts two minutes. Hundreds of rocks - some larger than a man's fist - are thrown at her head and body. She tries to crawl out of the hole, but is beaten back by the stones. A boulder is then thrown at her head, her burka is soaked in blood, and she collapses inside the hole.

Then her lover, Khayyam, is brought to the crowd...The attack on him is even more ferocious. His body, lying face down, jerks as the rocks meet their target. He is heard to be crying, but is soon silent.

And in South Carolina, a woman kills a puppy for eating her Bible.

Miriam Fowler Smith, 65, told cops on Monday that she hung and burned her nephew's pit bull after the animal took a bite out of her bible.

She claimed God urged her to kill Diamond, a 1-year-old female dog, because the animal was a "devil dog" and would hurt neighborhood children

Oh boy. I'm so glad I'm an atheist.

Welcome to this world...



Recommend this post at Progressive Bloggers.

Captain Salvation and the Holy Doritos

Holy Halloween Batman !!!! I see there's a new superhero in Gotham. He's as flamboyant as Liberace...with a large red thong and a matching cross. And his name is Captain Salvation!!!

"Victory!! In Jesus' name!" Captain Salvation says (in a dialogue balloon) as he vanquishes a giant robot in league with the devilish forces of the underground.

The muscular captain even has a masked sidekick: Joshua quotes the Bible and, in a takeoff on David's defeat of Goliath, loads his slingshot with magic yams.

Relax Robin. That caped Crusader will NEVER steal you away from me. I mean what's that around his waist? A holy voodoo belt or a Jebeesus in a tortilla? But go tell the Joker he's got some REAL competition.

And while you're at it, go tell his followers that if they want to lure the innocent into their empty churches.

They'd be better off praising the Lord.

And passing the doritos....  



Golly Batman.... I hear that dastardly villain Herr Homophobe is REALLY upset.

As in KAPOOOOW...or ACHTUNG !!!!

And so are his fanatical followers.

Oh really Robin? Tell them to call Captain Salvation eh?

Or better still... fire off a yam in their general direction.

And pass me a holy dorito...

Does God Hate Sunday Shopping?

P.E.I.'s Transportation Minister seems to believe he does.

A debate over Sunday shopping has led P.E.I.'s transportation minister to suggest God had struck down the leader of the Opposition, who fell and injured herself after introducing a bill to allow Sunday openings year-round.

"I'm not what you call a saint, but I believe in God and I believe in [doing] the best I can do. You were at CBC pushing Sunday shopping, were you not? On TV?" he asked Crane. "Right after that interview what happened?"

"We had a bit of an accident," Crane responded.

"Does that not tell you something?" said MacKinley.

"Like what?" said Crane.

"Like the Lord works in mysterious ways, and maybe you should start worrying what's going on here? We are going all the time, we're getting farther and farther away, whether it's prayers in the schools or whatever it is," said MacKinley.

Holy Spud Batman. He's the Transportation Minister? How do they get around in P.E.I.? On donkeys, camels, or chariots?

And although I almost don't dare type this question eh?

In case I break a finger.

But if God hates Sunday shopping.

What does he think of shopping on Black Friday?

And isn't that WORSE?



MacKinley you theocratic buffoon. You idiot. Repeat after me:

Sunday is just another day. 

Shopping is religion.

And God is a SALE...

Pope Benny and the Male Prostitute

When I heard that Pope Benny was going to allow condoms to prevent AIDS, I was practically paralyzed with shock. Could Benny, like some mummified grub in a musty cocoon, finally be coming alive? Morphing into a butterfly. Or in his case a human.

And then I read the bit about the male prostitute.

In the case of a male prostitute, says Benedict, using a condom to reduce the risk of HIV infection "can be a first step in the direction of moralisation, a first assumption of responsibility, on the way toward recovering an awareness that not everything is allowed and that one cannot do whatever one wants".

And these troubling questions came to mind.

Why is he trying to stigmatize male hookers?  Did  they kill all those straight women in Africa? Or did they die because he told their husbands condoms were sinful?

Is it shite? Is it syphilis? Is he senile? Or is it just subliminal?

And don't you love this?

"The problem was not Benedict, it was others in the Vatican who argued that if you said using condoms was OK in certain situations, it would send out the message that they were approved. This was a PR problem."

Right. A PR problem. While millions died. 

Oh boy. What is it about religion and sex that makes hypocrisy so disgusting?

A pastor who said Facebook was a “portal to infidelity” and told married church leaders to delete their accounts or resign once testified that he had a three-way sexual relationship with his wife and a male church assistant.

Miller said the dalliances — which occurred in the Millers’ home — sometimes took place during Thursday Bible study meetings and Sundays after church. But the minister said the encounters “came to a crashing halt” when several women in the church accused the assistant of having sex with them.

Gawd. Three is sinful. Four is an orgy. One more hypocritical religious fanatic in the jacuzzi and they can call it a religious experience.

But seriously, I'd love to see Pope Benny burst out of his cocoon, spread his wings, and become more human.

Because it's never too late to become a good person.

But the truth is this rubber dubber changes NOTHING.

Benny is still Benny. Chastity has driven him crazy.

And he's no butterfly...

The Great War on Christmas:The Movie

How do you know when it's early November? Answer: when the wingnuts and the Foxtards in the United States start wailing about the War on Christmas,

And this year go a step further, by releasing this Christian movie...



I mean Christianist video, DVD, humming piece of plastic.  

"This is a feel-good movie, with a lot of conflict and the theme of the Grinch finally coming home," said Anchorage-based executive producer David Cuddy. "The final scene is like 'It's a Wonderful Life,' where his character melts and becomes a good guy."

Gawd. Isn't that blasphemy?

The Grinch and It's A Wonderful Life? Or get down on your knees you atheist scum. Take the Muslim crescent off the Christ Tree. Or we'll burn your house down. SCARY

But wait. It gets worse. 

How about a children's book about how Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Joseph Stalin stole Christmas ?






















Written by a loser  teabagger.

"The Christmastution is being ignored!" she yells to her assembled mob. "If we want to save Christmas, we must stop taking free candy and fire the liberal elves!"

Elf Peloosi tries to sway the children from voting her out of office with free candy canes but they all wave copies of the Christmastution at her and dump the candy into the Camas' lake.

Holy Satan Santa. How do you follow a mastatution like that one?

With the Dance of the Sugar Dumb fairies?

No. That would be too ugly. And too flattering.

How about something prettier, and gayer, and more festive?  

Like the Waltz of the Segways...



Golly. Christmas in America.

It's a different place...

Was a Canadian Girl Killed for Not Praying?

I guess we'll find out tomorrow.

A 13-year-old Longueuil girl died Saturday night as a result of injuries she sustained Wednesday when police say her 71-year-old father slapped her and she went into a coma.

But so far, so bad.

Shocked neighbours Monday described the girl as a "ray of light" who played happily with their children and used to give hugs to some of the other mothers when she came home from school.

But neighbour Linda Robert said Noutene had been quieter in the last two years. Her father was demanding, Robert said, and could be heard sometimes yelling at the children or his wife. On the evening that she was struck, neighbours said her father was calling in to recite her prayers, as he often did. She was reluctant to go, as she often was, neighbours said.

"Even when she was young, she hated going in for her prayers," Robert said.

In the meantime, I've got two questions of my own.

How do you "slap" a child into a COMA?

And at a time when gay kids are dying because of religious intolerance, should anyone be surprised?

The dirty old bastard.

The poor little child...