Harold Camping and the Fleecing of the Faithful

Oh boy. What a bummer. I waited all day for The Rapture, clinging to the top of a tree with a butterfly net, hoping to catch Jason Kenney as he floated by. But it never  happened.

Except in Iceland.

And while some were exultant.

After 6pm passed without incident in New Zealand and Australia, Stephen Fry tweeted: “Marvellous news! Rapture doesn't mean end of world; apparently all the planet’s imbeciles disappear in one go.”

Others were disappointed.

Keith Bauer, a 38-year-old tractor-trailer driver from Westminster, Md., took last week off from work, packed his wife, young son and a relative in their SUV and crossed the country.

If it was his last week on Earth, he wanted to see parts of it he'd always heard about but missed, such as the Grand Canyon and the Painted Forest. With maxed-out credit cards and a growing mountain of bills, he said, the rapture would have been a relief.

Or worse.

Tuter said Family Radio's AM station in Sacramento had been "severely vandalized" Friday night or Saturday morning, with air conditioning units yanked out and $25,000 worth of copper stripped from the equipment. He thinks it must have been an angry listener. He was off Saturday but planned to drive past the headquarters "and make sure nothing's burning."

As for me I'm just glad I wasn't home eh?

When they knocked on my door...

And of course, I've never been so proud to be an atheist and a gay wizard.

Oh yeah. Did I mention that Harold Camping is laughing all the way to the bank?

As May 21 drew nearer, donations grew, allowing Family Radio to spend millions of dollars on more than 5,000 billboards plastered with the doomsday message. In 2009, the non for profit reported that it received $18.3 million in donations, and had assets of more than $104 million.

So don't feel sorry for him. Feel sorry for all the desperate people that old homophobe fleeced.

And since it's still the long weekend. And most of my friends are still at the Rupture Party on the beach. Dancing around a bonfire without any clothes on. And threatening to come here next.

I'm just glad I survived eh?

And Harold this one's for YOU...



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How I'm Preparing for the End of the World

Well as you probably know by now the world is going to end tomorrow. So I have issued my final orders for tomorrow's Rapture Rupture Beach Party.

Bring your own protective head gear and wooden spears in case Jason Kenney falls out of the sky. Read Lord of the Flies because it might come in handy. And above all bring your own booze because I'm not sharing.

Oh yeah...and one more thing.

Whatever you do, do NOT travel to the United States this weekend.

Because something really scary is happening down there...



And there are going to be a lot of disappointed people on Sunday eh? Who will probably feel like shooting first..... and praying later. 

You know, the scariest thing is how many Americans believe the world is going to end tomorrow. And how normal they look.

But then throughout history people have always confused the end of an empire with their own impending demise. And in the U.S., where so many are suffering, angry, and fearful, can you really blame some of them for thinking that even death is better than that ?

Which of course is how I sometimes feel about Stephen Harper and his TheoCon government. And why I would LOVE to see them rising like bottle rockets tomorrow. With Jason Kenney screaming : "You see forty years of chastity IS a virtue !!!" Stephen Harper shouting " Wait. Wait. What about mah mah mah magnificent majority #!&?!!"

And Bev Oda wailing "Where's my LIMO ??????"

But then wouldn't we ALL like to see that?

And think of it on the bright side eh?

By Tuesday Harold Camping should be in a mental hospital, being treated for terminal disappointment and homophobia.

Most of his followers will be atheists. And we won't have to listen to any more of this end of the world madness. At least until 2012.

You know, the year the Mayans predicted we'll be DESTROYED.

OMG. Hey Sébastien...otra cerveza por favor.

Enjoy your Apocamix.

Have a great weekend everybody...



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