I've been so busy celebrating Obama's big victory, that I haven't been able to do this story justice. For it too was an amazing victory, and a tribute to all those gay Americans who never gave up the struggle despite one bitter defeat after the other. Never gave up spreading the word that marriage equality is a human right. And love is love...
“At a certain point, I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married,” Mr. Obama said.
It won't make any difference to gay couples in many states like North Carolina.
But in a country as homophobic as the United States it was a courageous gesture.
First they were allowed to get married, and then they were told they couldn't. One day they had human rights, the next day they were stolen. But today in California they won another big victory.
“All that Proposition 8 accomplished was to take away from same sex-couples the right to be granted marriage licenses and thus legally to use the designation ‘marriage,” the judge wrote, adding: “Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gay men and lesbians in California."
I'm so proud of my brothers and sisters who refused to give up. And I'm so grateful to the plaintiffs who led the charge. Like this lesbian couple and their teenage sons.
"Today, the 9th Circuit [Court of Appeals] said to our family that we are equal under the law," she said, adding that now, "we can see over the dark wall of discrimination."
A mother defends her son's choice of a Halloween costume on her blog.
And all I hope for my kids, and yours, and those of Moms ABC, are that they are happy. If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.
And gets more than a million hits, and 15,000 comments. In TWO days.
A gay boy learns sign language to communicate with his deaf boyfriend...
And since all kinds of gay people are sending out messages about bullying.
Porn star Jamie Stroud weighs in with HIS message...
Whatever that is.
And my message?
It takes all kinds of people to make an interesting world.
Remember Constance McMillen, the Mississippi teenager who wanted to take her girlfriend to her high school prom?
And how the school board cancelled the prom rather than let her attend. And then hurt and humiliated her further by organizing a fake prom.
And how she tried to turn that cruelty into something beautiful.
Two students with learning difficulties were among the seven people at the country club event, McMillen recalls. "They had the time of their lives," McMillen says. "That's the one good thing that come out of this, [these kids] didn't have to worry about people making fun of them [at their prom]."
A school district in Mississippi has agreed to pay a recent high school graduate $35,000 in damages and adopt a policy prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation, according to a statement released Tuesday by the American Civil Liberties Union.
It's a happy ending to a sad story. And a new beginning in the Old South. But what moved me the most was the reaction of my gay friends when I told them the news. Just about all of them said roughly the same thing: they couldn't pay me enough for what I had to endure.
And all I could say was I know. I KNOW.
I didn't go to my prom, and if I was straight I probably wouldn't have gone either. I had to wait until I was seventeen to dance romantically with another guy.
At a street party in very French Montreal, with my new boy friend Sébastien.
That began sort of like this ...
I can't remember much about that night except how shy I was, the friendly cheers, the little paper lanterns, the big shoulders, and how good it felt to say to the whole world...without saying it: I like him and he likes me.
And of course how grateful I am that my motorbike didn't turn into a pumpkin at midnight eh? And that I'm still dancing with the guy I love.
Now thanks to a brave young lesbian a lot of other gay kids are going to get a chance to know how that feels.
I usually hesitate to write about Valentine's Day because I don't want my single friends to feel left out.
Oh sure ....they're always giving me a hard time about being hitched, but I feel that on this day their empty lives are punishment enough.
And I sure don't want all the other bitter people out there to accuse me of being part of the corporate plot to sell chocolates and flowers and cards.
But this year I feel I can safely write about it. Because this year I am all alone. Sébastien is working in a clinic in this tormented place.
“A baby was born last night and then died,” he said, “the mother with no cover from the rain.” He said most in the camp had lost loved ones to the earthquake, but that "living like this…with no help… it’s like we are dying mentally…”
Where happiness is a luxury. And as if I wasn't down enough. Woe is me, I'm a Misery Bear....
Because misery loves company eh? On the other hand, I'm a romantic who believes in the power of love to change the world. Gay love is a political act. The kiss in was held peacefully at St-Michel but some gays went to Notre Dame anyway and witnesses are saying 200 Christian activists were expecting them, and after they started kissing, they were attacked with motorbike helmets and kicked." Which is one reason why Valentine's Day for me is every day of the year. And of course the other is Sébastien. Who is everything I dreamed he would be when I was just a teenager. And who never ceases to inspire... or fool me... into believing that we build a better world. I did tell you he was a Québécois idiot didn't I? But I don't think I'll become a misery bear eh? Living in Harper's Canada is depressing enough.
I think I'll just wait a couple of years weeks until he comes home. First talk about the horror of Haiti, where so many people have lost their loved ones. And what more we can do to help them. Then hold the flowers and the chocolates. But carry on like we began....
I see that just days after their latest Proposition 8 victory in California, the Christianist bigots at the National Organization for Marriage have released another disgusting video.
Accusing gay people of threatening children.
Which is not only disgusting and evil, it's also ABSURD.
Because why would gay people threaten the young like these hatemongers do? When the kids are on our side. Ask them, in your most panicky, alarmist, Mormonified voice: Aren't they horrified at the very idea? Aren't they shocked at the very thought of two people in love having their union officially recognized and validated by the state? Please note the response. Please observe how the kids merely look at you as though you're more than a little bit deranged and prehistoric, so out of touch you might as well be Dick Cheney talking up the diesel-powered rectal thermometers he so loved back in World War I.
Here is what it tells you: Gay marriage is a foregone conclusion. It's a done deal. It's just a matter of time. For the next generation in particular, equal rights for gays is not even a question or a serious issue, much less a sinful hysterical conundrum that can only be answered by terrified Mormons and confused old people and inane referendums funded by same. It's just obvious, inevitable, a given.
Which is just what I say all the time eh? The future will be brighter.
In the meantime I hear the Christianist bigots had a victory rally.
And it was a DISASTER....
Yeah how WOULD you feel? I can tell you that right now this lover boy feels he's lucky he's made it to Friday. Because I have to admit I've been feeling a bit discouraged. But I've been practicing my big gay shrug.
And I'm pretty confident the future weekend belongs to us...
Oh boy. It feels like Spring in the Great White North.The ducks are quacking in the pond. Lovers are everywhere. I'm under renewed pressure to marry Sébastien.
Well I wasn't going to write anything more about Pope Benny's genocidal Christmas message that gays are a threat to humanity. Because life is too short eh? And one bad post is bad enough. Although I did like the monkey. But then I made the mistake of reading Lifeshite. The Pope has sounded the alarm on rejecting God's plan for human sexuality and pointed to the dangers for those involved and society in general of fostering such behavior. He is now experiencing the backlash, but like any good parent, he will weather it in patience and love, knowing that one day, his aberrant children will come to their senses or at the very least that he has tried his best to get them to do so. And as one of those "aberrant children" my blood began to boil. And I wondered whether I should write another angry post about Benny, and this time instead of the wanking Tarzan video, use the YouTube of the farting baboon.
But luckily for my reputation as a serious blogger, this guy made me think and laugh.
With those wonderful pictures of Radzi. Which I immediately added to my LARGE collection. And then this gay blogger put it into the kind of perspective I can relate to. When you are gay, you learn to handle the pontifications of religious leaders on homosexuality with care. The thing to watch is that it doesn't get under your skin. If, unwittingly, you do take it too much to heart, it can ruin your day. And if it ruins too many days, then it ruins your life.
Being gay is about your love life. Gay men and women aren't people who perform certain acts; they are people who love in certain ways. The L-word is never mentioned by those who condemn homosexuality. I suspect that they don't talk about homosexuality as a form of loving because if they did, their arguments would fall away. For what is life without love? Which is so true. I suspect a lot of people just think of sex when they think of gay people. But of course it's such a small part of our lives, and love is so much more than that.
And homophobes HAVE ruined so many of my days, I'm not not about to let them ruin my life. So all I have to say to that shrivelled prune in the Vatican is this: You HATE me because I know the joy and the serenity of loving and being loved. I PITY you because you never will. And because you won't, you'll never understand how powerful love is, and that nothing you say or do will ever defeat it. I'd leave it at that because it's enough eh? But since the love of my life .... just went to the store.
And now I can say what I REALLY want to say. I'd just like to add this.....
An amazing exhibit on the life of the Roman Emperor Hadrian has just opened at the British Museum. And it's getting rave reviews. I'm not sure how I feel about Hadrian. An ancient scribe once called him "stern and cheerful, affable and harsh, impetuous and hesitant, mean and generous, cruel and merciful and always in all things changeable". You know brilliant..... but extremely dangerous. And in the case of the Jews of the time genocidal. In short; NOT the kind of kind of guy I'd like to get drunk with. On the other hand I am delighted to see that after two thousand years of denial, the Emperor has finally been allowed to be gay. While he was a hardened military man, he was also gay and seemed to fall genuinely in love with the "shameless and scandalous boy", the young Greek Antinous, for whom he built the city of Antinoopolis on the banks of the Nile, following his death by drowning in rather murky circumstances.
And that the exhibition is also a celebration of that tragic gay love story.
A fantastic marble faun from Hadrian's Tivoli villa gives a glimpse of the sensual excess of Roman life. But most haunting of all is the face of Hadrian's male lover, Antinous, sculpted on statues of gods and heroes - through which the emperor mourned his companion - including a vast, yet achingly erotic head of a Bacchic divinity. To those who say gays can't fight I say ask Hadrian. Or Alexander. To those who say our love isn't real ... or a modern invention... I say ask Antinous. Or the Emperor whose heart he broke. For thousands of years our history has been stolen, denied, degraded, and buried. But their love story will last forever. The only thing I regret, is that while we now have a pretty good idea of who Hadrian was, Antinous remains a mystery.
Who was he? What was he really like? Did he love being the Emperor's favourite because of the power and the lifestyle it gave him? Or did he love Hadrian the man...his Emperor companion.... like he loved him? More than any other. I like to think he did. And that he really did sacrifice himself because an old Oracle told him it was the only way to save his lover's life. But of course we'll never know. Just like he never could have known that his tragic story would become a monument to lost love... right up there with the Taj Mahal. Even though the details, like so many other gay love stories, have been buried or lost in the mists of time. That's why the last time I wrote about these two lovers I said that would NEVER happen to me. Because I'm writing my own gay history. And I'm still writing it. In fact, in a few days time I'll be completing chapter twelve. Can you believe it ? Hey. I'm afraid we're never going to make it to the British Museum. Not with art like this...
But if Hadrian and Antinous haven't proved the almighty awesomeness and power of gay love. Don't worry. We will....
The California Supreme Court's decision to allow gay marriage. As experienced by two women in love....
Wow. Wasn't that special? Naturally the foul anti-gay bigots are howling like banshees. And vowing to turn back the clock in November....again.
But when they are up against our LOVE what chance does their HATE have? They try so hard to destroy our lives, but those creepy ju ju monkeys are only destroying themselves....like kamikaze klowns. Or the poopy Pope. To all my brothers and sisters in the Golden State.... the sound of gay freedom never sounded so wonderful and ......um...... so LOUD. From Simon and Sébastien..... in love...... in Canada. Congratulations ...way to go California!! You made us all proud... --------------------------------------------------------------- P.S. I'm warning my friends to FORGET about using this great victory to try to pressure me into getting hitched. As they just love to do. My almost unshakeable position is that I'm not getting married until everyone can.
Last month I wrote a post about the awesome power of a gay kiss. And it's amazing ability to turn reasonable people into absurd homophobes, and religious wingnuts into rabid dogs. Now another major development in the Kissing War. Grey's Anatomy just featured a story about two gay soldiers trying to kiss and not tell. As one of them prepares for brain surgery....
Well at least it was a REAL kiss. Because it's all down hill after that. As the soldier is wheeled to the operating room he passes his lover waiting in the corridor. But because the evil dad and an officer are nearby, and they both love being soldiers so much, all the two lovers can do is look into each others eyes. Which is sad because of course after that steamy kiss one of the gay guys HAS to die. And does.... on the operating table. But at least his lover gets to kiss him again....this time in the morgue. On his cold dead lips. Yikes. Fade to black.Chalk up another victory in the kissing wars. Does it count as TWO.... or just one and a half? Of course I'm sure the morality tale death didn't stop the rabid wingnuts from howling in disgust. Writing kooky letters to show sponsors and studio executives....and beating their chests with their hairy paws. But who cares because we're on a roll. Call it a spring offensive. Spring means romance, also for gay characters on TV; First Luke kissed Noah on As The World Turns, then two gay soldiers lip locked on Grey's Anatomy, and soon there will be an interracial gay kiss on ABC Family's college drama Greek. Isn't that great ? But isn't it sad that we have to make a big deal out of something so beautiful ..... that should be so ordinary ? Isn't it humiliating? Doesn't it make you CRAZY ? Gay in the 21st Century. Reclaiming our humanity. One kiss at a time... --------------------------------------- P.S. If you want to watch the whole sad saga...you can sob along here.
As if bullies didn't make life hard enough for gay kids. How about a bigot principal? In September of 2007, the principal at Hollis F. Price Middle College High told teachers she wanted the names of all student couples, “hetero and homo,” because she wanted to monitor them personally to prevent students from engaging in public displays of affection. The two students now represented by the ACLU, Andrew and Nicholas (who have asked that their last names not be revealed), were two A students who had been seeing each other for a short time and were attempting to keep their relationship quiet and private. Although the boys had never been observed by any school staff engaging in any sort of display of affection, the principal called Nicholas’s mother Nichole.
According to Nichole, the principal said things like “Did you know your son is gay?” repeatedly and went on to say that she didn’t like gay people and wouldn’t tolerate homosexuality at her school.
Both students say they’ve had to deal with verbal harassment from both teachers and students since word got out around the school about their principal’s actions. “We never bothered anyone or did a single thing at school that broke any of the rules,” said Nicholas, a junior and honor student. “Every day I feel like they’re still punishing me, and I’m worried that this is going to hurt my chances to get into a good college.”
All I can say is I hope that bigot principal gets busted down to janitor. And isn't allowed within fifty feet of any child. Because if there was any justice she would be locked up in a jail cell.... or an insane asylum. The good news is that Andrew and Nicholas will probably discover...... like I did.... that adversity and oppression only makes their love stronger. And even MORE beautiful. As well of course as being taught one more reason why we're better than them. Which reminds me.... a local gay boy just scored a big award. And he's got a message for those young gay lovers. Take it away Rufus....
Yup. The one you love is the one you love. Good luck Andrew and Nicholas. Welcome to the big gay family...
How about call 911? Operator: "Birmingham Police operator 9283"
Caller: "We have a couple of men sitting out on the bench that have been kissing and drooling all over each other for the past hour or so. It's not against the law, right?" Operator: "Not to the best of my knowledge it's not."
Caller: "So there's no complaint I could make or have?"
Operator: "I imagine you could complain if you like ma'am. We can always send an officer down there." And so they did. I wish I was shocked. I wish I was surprised. But I'm not. Of all the naked ugly prejudice straight people hurl at us, few things are worse than their reaction to a gay kiss. The sight of two men kissing seems to drive them...including many who should know better... into foaming convulsions of fear and loathing. If you've ever been at a movie....and two guys kiss on the screen...you know what I mean.The whole place erupts with dismissive laughter, phews, or other expressions of hate and disgust. I wonder if they ever wonder what gay people sitting there in the dark feel about that. Or whether it ruins the movie for them. Or what kind of evil message it sends out. I don't know from what part of their vestigial reptilian brains this life denying irrational prejudice springs from. But I do know where the original hatred comes from.Straight out of the primeval slime of crazy religion. And twisted homophobes like the ones who are launching a boycott to protest against a soap opera kiss.
A kiss as sweet and as innocent as this one...
Anyone who finds that offensive (apart from the script or the acting) or gets a nervous tic, or feels dizzy or nauseous, or full of uncontrollable rage, or develops a sudden fever to murder all gay people, should consult their vets immediately and be tested for rabies.
And fleas. But it does give me an idea.
You know because of my dour Scottish background I'm not the kind of guy who likes to suck face in public. And neither does Sébastien.
But now that I know how much a humble gay kiss bothers the crazy bigots. And exposes them as the inhuman monsters they are.
Imagine me as a hummingbird divebombing a flower....zzzzzzzzzZOOM...*SPLAT * ... SMOOCH!! Mmmmm.... sometimes fighting the homophobes is hard.
And sometimes it's easy.... ------------------------------------------- P.S. Here's the video version of the 911 kiss...
I know that Valentine's Day is an over commercialized and often tacky celebration. I realize that not everyone has a Valentine...or even wants one. And that you don't have to look very far to find plenty of reasons to hate Cupid's Big Day.
Especially this one...
All the displays of perfect, flippy-haired coupledom only serve to turbo-charge the sneaking suspicion that everyone else is far more in love and having heaps more sex than you are.
I also recognize that love takes many forms. Just like Valentine cards can be happy or sad. Or funny And that if I had to choose a card out of that collection. I'm afraid I would probably have to choose this one to give to mine.
But in a world full of violence and hate, a day that celebrates love can't be all that bad. So to those who are alone and like it that way...happy love yourself day. And don't eat TOO much chocolate. To those who are playing the field...may your many loves light up your life like the stars in the sky. And don't forget to play safe. To those who are looking for their Valentine...good luck and don't ever give up. Thanks to the internet it has never been easier to find a companion. And if your heart is open to the possibility of love, you WILL find him or her.
But as for me...I've found mine. I love and admire him more every year. For his toughness, and his gentleness, his courage and his idealism. And of course his beauty... and his funny Frenchyness. I couldn't IMAGINE life without him. And I know he loves me.... for some mysterious reason....just as much as I love him. Because he's proved it so many times. Some of my gay friends sometimes make fun of me for being so lovestruck after all these years. But I don't care. Because today I get to say...... Happy Valentine's Day Sébastien mon amour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And how lucky I am. Oh yeah.... love is what you make of it. But you know it doesn't have to be an opera or a great symphony. Sometimes like a hug and a kiss. A sweet, and simple song is more than good enough...
Well this should take the edge off all those Brokeback Mountain spoofs. They won't be able to mock Heath Ledger anymore. Or they shouldn't..... but they will. Because they weren't really mocking him. They were mocking OUR love. As for me I just feel sad. What a tragic end for a promising young actor. When I heard the news I couldn't help think what his real gay cowboy friend is going to say. "It takes courage and it takes strength and it takes that inner person to take hold and not worry what Tom or Harry down the road thinks. But it's hard, you're standing on your own island, singing your own song. I wouldn't have done the things I've done if I had come out earlier in life. It would have changed the paths I took and it wouldn't have been the same. That's what makes it your life." I remember how I felt when Brokeback Mountain came out. How I was disappointed by the movie....and angered by the neverending parodies. But also how I respected Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal for having the guts to play gay cowboys in love. I was lucky.... I found my true love. Heath Ledger apparently looked for it all over Hollywood. Found it. And then lost her. So I can only hope that this reviewer is wrong.
Ledger leaves behind a career of great promise, a too small body of films and the sense that he never admired his work as much as others did. I hope he WAS proud of his work...because he didn't do too bad. He was a promising and gutsy young actor. And that little Brokeback movie will always be special to us..... long after the parodies are forgotten. Bigger than it really was. And now even sadder....
Bye bye cowboy. Cue the sunset. The movie is over. Life goes on... ------------------------------------------------------------ P.S. Guess who is planning to picket Ledger's funeral?
When I first came across Hadrian's wall as a child...and I was told that the Emperor had built it to keep the Scots out of England... I immediately hated him. And wondered who would WANT to go to England anyway? But then I found out that Hadrian was gay...and I changed my mind. And now I wish I was in London.
The bust is classically Roman, the face imperious. But this is no ordinary emperor. As a major new exhibition at the British Museum makes clear, Publius Aelius Traianus Hadrianus was not only a peacemaker who pulled his soldiers out of modern-day Iraq. He was also the first leader of Rome to make it clear that he was gay. Several of the artefacts relate to his male consort, Antinous, who accompanied him on his travels around the empire. These items include a poem written on papyrus, featuring the two men hunting together, and new finds that include memorials to the dead lover at Hadrian's villa in Tivoli. Because our history is a hidden one. Or a buried one. And the tragic tale of Hadrian and Antinous is such a great love story.
Hadrian commissioned so many busts and statues of Antinous there are more of the former slave boy today than there are of many Emperors. He made him a god after his death just like Alexander the Great made his dead lover Hephaestion. Which only makes me wonder how many other great gay love stories were lost because for thousands of years nobody wrote about our history? Or our loves. So it took FOREVER for people to realize that we've always been around. And always will be. That we are EVERYWHERE. And that OUR love is as good and as beautiful and as powerful as any other. The good news? That's over now. Because now we're reclaiming our history. We're writing our own. And the small but excellent love story of Simon and Sébastien will live forever. Because I'm writing it myself...
I went down to the Gay Village this afternoon. The beautiful rainbow flag was starting to appear everywhere. But it was still REALLY quiet. Which made me feel a little guilty because I didn't sign up to be a volunteer like I did last year.
Oh no. What if gazillions of people show up for the Big Gay Party. and we're not ready? And it's all MY fault!!!! But then my friend told me the real work begins tomorrow. And I noticed that at least the bars are ready...
Whew! That's the main thing. Disorganization and events that don't ever start on time is just a GAY fact of life. But a Big Gay Party without any beer....that's a RIOT!! Seriously though....with Sébastien away...and the bad news in Afghanistan... and the hot weather... I have been dragging my ass. The fabulous Gay Pride Week is more than halfway over and I haven't done ANYTHING. Which almost makes me feel like I'm not gay enough. Which of course is horrible. Maybe I'm just changing...growing older...less angry. Or just lazier...if that's possible. Or maybe I just figure that I blog all year round for the gay cause...standing up for my brothers and sisters all over the world...like these brave ones. Or handing out pamphlets urging people not to go to Jamaica. Or writing politicians to demand more anti-bullying programs in our schools to protect gay kids. Or playing whack-a-mole with homophobes. Like I did today with this old coot. By firing a comment at him about his bigoted and ignorant post.... So I can afford to take a few days off while others do the work....and just enjoy the show or go some place far from the madding crowd... chill out....dream of other things. And wait for my guy to come home....
And besides I did take in a FABULOUS gay concert. It wasn't really my kind of music.... But it's such a great cause. And Erasure was just AWESOME!!!!!!
I love their song "I Could Fall in Love with You." I've already posted the video once. You know the one with all the straight and gay couples kissing. And I may play it again soon.
But tonight I thought I'd just play this other Erasure song...not just because it's gayer....and I need to feel gayer myself.
But because .....I don't know....it just seems so right....
Yup. That's gay enough...And as for WHAT NOW ?
No problem. Just wait three weeks for my most loved one to return...and fall in love all over again. And of course keep whacking those bigot moles.
And as for the Big Gay Party? I'm ready. Just like they are...
Who KNEW our people lived there? Oh boy do I love my beautiful brothers and sisters!! The old coot bigot may never understand that.
But for me that's what gay pride is really all about...
