Sunday, September 12, 2010

Stephen Harper and the Con Cookbook

OMG. Gimme some pepto or a barf bag !!!!  In yet ANOTHER desperate attempt to soften his image Stephen Harper is reinventing himself as a celebrity chef.

He may not have the recipe for a majority government yet, but Prime Minister Stephen Harper knows how to make a mean salsa.

His wife Laureen's tomato and jalapeno concoction is among the celebrity recipes contained in a new cookbook, and they aren't the only foodies coming out of the Conservative closet.

Hmmm....since when does it take TWO people to make a salsa? And what was Great Chef Leader's contribution? The jalapeño pepper to make people's mouths burn? Because in Stephen Harper's world, pain and pleasure go together?

I can only imagine what kind of recipes could fly out of his head. Roast Leg of Omar Khadr with Wild Rose Jelly. Even though Omar's not dead. Yet.

And the bloody Harper Hamburger, that when you stick a fork in it screams "Where's my MAJORITY !!!!!!!!!  Scary eh?

Oh well...whatever...he's desperate to soften his image, he wants an election as soon as possible, before the Auditor General reports on the Porky Action Plan, and he finds himself on the grill.

So if the flying nun didn't work for him...

Maybe being a celebrity chef will. I doubt it. But think of it this way. Better he try to fool us into thinking he's almost human by whipping up a coagulated blood pudding, than by playing the piano again.

And besides it was nice of Jason Kenney to commit hara kiri hurry curry, by reminding us he's still an old Reformer.

"It's healthy, and vegetarian, so probably a change of pace from all the recipes received from western Reform types like myself."

Thanks idiot.If that old homophobe had his way he'd serve me up as homo haggis.

Still, one thing bothers me. If the Cons have the big bucks to support a Private Members Bill.

I wouldn't  be surprised if they put up the dough to buy Stephen Harper his very own cookbook You know.... to SERVE Canadians. So he can fool them into giving him a majority.

Wait a minute. Why does that sound so familiar? *Shudder*

Where have I seen that horror movie before?

Golly. That does look so horribly familiar.  All those dumb bovine Canadians who still think Stephen Harper wants a majority so he can serve them better. With a carrot in each ear and an apple in their mouths.

Oh well.  My message is still the same eh? To mock him is to destroy him. Just like he destroyed his opponents.

Defeat, crush, send those alien Cons back to Alberta...or Uranus.

Before they eat our country...


Dr.Dawg said...

since when does it take TWO people to make a salsa?


Simon said...

hi Dr Dawg...well that was easy eh? Even I can make a salsa. And as soon as I saw the jalapeño pepper I KNEW it had to come from Harper... :)