Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Stephen Harper and the Quebec City Bombe

Oh no. I'm soooooooo disappointed. Stephen Harper has stuck a fork knife into Quebec City's arena project and the last hopes of these desperate Con MPs.

I can just hear him now. Sorry about the arena, how about my salsa recipe?

And there I was hoping that he'd pull all those millions of dollars out of a paper bag...or Tony Clement's pocket. Maybe win one seat in Quebec, and lose dozens of seats in Western Canada.

Or buy EVERYONE an arena, blow his unfounded reputation as a good money manager to smithereens, and lose votes EVERYWHERE.

Oh well.  At least  Harper has been made to look like a dithering idiot. 

And at least I'm not as disappointed as those Con MPs.

The decision is potentially terminal for the seven giddy Conservative MPs photographed in Nordiques hockey jerseys last week. The Prime Minister’s Office insists those MPs engineered a rogue photo-op, a tough swallow given Mr. Harper’s micromanaging ways, but the MPs clearly aligned their electoral fate with federal arena funding. Which means they’re dead.

Or as disappointed enraged as the absurd Mayor of Quebec City Régis "La Bombe" Labeaume.

You see, like Harper himself, La Bombe has delusions of grandeur. He believes that his "National Capital," one of the whitest, snootiest, coldest, and most boring places in Canada, is destined to become a world class metropolis.

Although he wouldn't use the word metropolis because that's the word the rabid talk radio hosts of QC use to put down Montreal. i.e. the mongrel city that's teeming with criminals, anglos and darkies who don't speak French properly.

So you can understand why it's the last bastion of the Conservatives in Quebec, why Stephen Harper was so desperate to bribe it, why La Bombe faces such an uphill struggle. 

And why just about everything he does ends disastrously.

“Now don't get angry when I tell you that you are completely neurotic,” he said in his presentation.“You are like a sadomasochist couple. The sadist needs the masochist and the masochist needs the sadist. … These types of couples last an eternity, they are the best couples, the most stable. You are with the English a sadomasochist couple and you will be that way forever.”Quebeckers' emotional impulses toward the rest of Canada are part of what Mr. Rapaille calls their “primal reptilian core,” which he says constitutes the “code” that lies deep in people's subconscious.

And I mean disastrously. The chattering classes in QC were going on and on about being humiliated AND whipped. While the mongrels in Montreal were DYING...of laughter.

But here's the thing eh? Nobody, but NOBODY fucks with La Bombe and gets away lightly. 

“He’s a star in the United States. He was a failure here,” the mayor told reporters. “It didn’t work. It was a failure. We are sorry,” Labeaume said. Answering reporters’ questions brusquely at times, the mayor said he wanted Rapaille “to bleed, to cry”.

So if I was Stephen Harper I would be worried. As well as desperate.

As for me I'm so devastated at the thought of the Cons winning no seats in Quebec, and Quebec City never winning the Stanley Cup.

That as a mongrel from Montreal, I'd like to join La Bombe.

As he sings this sad little song.

Take it away Mr Mayor...

Quebec City a great metropolis? Stephen Harper a great leader?

Watch out for the ticking ticked off BOMBE !!!!!!!


No comments: