Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Bishop Who Would Die to Stop Abortion

Oh.My.Godzilla. I know religion is a crazy thing, but it's not every day you hear a Roman Catholic Bishop threatening to commit suicide.

"Every Bishop should be willing to give up his life, if it meant putting an end to abortion. And if we're willing to do that, then we should be totally fearless of promoting this cause."

Gawd. Isn't suicide a SIN? Or are we talking about something else? Like a Christianist jihad against the baby killer in the White House...

If American youth are willing to go to war and lay their life down to defend our freedoms, then every bishop should be willing to give up his life, if it meant putting an end to abortion.

And if so wouldn't that make him a TERRORIST? Like these Krazy Kriminals.

Now look because I value life too much I hate to see anyone talk about dying for nothing. Even a man who would treat women as less than human, and condemn them to a life of guilt and misery. And of course would send me and my gay brothers and sisters to the lowest part of Hell. If it existed.

On the other hand if he is determined to take his own life who am I to stop him? So I only have three questions for the kamikaze Bishop.

One...if he doesn't plan to go down leading the Christianist hordes into the Valley of Death...or the White House DOES he intend to kill himself? Will he strangle himself with his expensive crucifix, drown in his communion wine, or choke on a fat pheasant?

Two...would he mind giving me a call a couple of hours before he does it ?So I can put some ginger ale on ice, program my iPod, and put on my PARTY tuque.

And three can I please, please PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!

Read his epitaph?

“In general, higher rates of belief in and worship of a creator correlate with higher rates of homicide, juvenile and early adult mortality, STD infection rates, teen pregnancy and abortion in the prosperous democracies.

“The non-religious, proevolution democracies contradict the dictum that a society cannot enjoy good conditions unless most citizens ardently believe in a moral creator.

“The widely held fear that a Godless citizenry must experience societal disaster is therefore refuted.”

Golly. Doesn't that explain EVERYTHING?

If I was a purple hatemonger and everything I yapped about turned out to be BULLSHIT, I'd probably kill myself too.

BUH BYE you batty Bishop.

Don't let the Gates of Hell...if it exists.

Hit your ASS on the way in....


Anonymous said...

Oh Simon,

WE love it when you are evullll.

Your feminazi fans.

Anonymous said...

Suicide is SO pro-life. (rolling eyes)

This man would throw his own supposedly God-given life away to prevent--what can't be prevented, because even GOD does it all the time. The #1 source of abortions isn't a doctor, it's nature. In fact, as many as 2/3 of all fertilized eggs die before they even get a chance to implant. You know what that means, don't you, Bishop?


Simon said...

Hi EVULL? Never. I just blame that batty Bishop for putting the DEVULL into me... ;)

Simon said...

Hi Bina...actually although I was making fun of the old fool I'm still wondering whether he's trying to incite violence against abortion providers. It's so bizarre. I'm going to have to keep an eye on him. And so should the FBI...

Jim Parrett said...

I just realized, you are not Crawdaddy Simon, the famous rocker of Montreal. Sorry. No Wackers. No Haunted. No Pagliaro.