Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Little Miss Universe Goes to Guantanamo

Well I see Miss Universe got a tour of the Guantanamo Bay Torture Centre.

And she REALLY loved it.

"It was a loooot of fun!"

Other highlights included meeting the military dogs – who "did a very nice demonstration of their skills"

"We visited the Detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the(y) recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting. I didn't want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful...."

Groan. No doubt she thought waterboarding had something to do with surfing.

You know I always thought the Miss Universe contest was a crass and grotesque spectacle designed to make women look like bimbos and sex objects.

Now I'm forced to conclude that the organizers of the Torture Tour pose a serious threat to Jason Kenney and Dr Roy in the Small Brains but Big Boobs International Idiots Contest.

Which is really bad because I've got a quarter riding on each of them.

As for La Guantanamera herself....words fail me.

So on behalf of Omar Khadr.

The Canadian kid who has been rotting in that evil place for years.

And all the other people abused by the guards she entertained.

And since she loves dogs with skills....

I thought I'd let this guy express my appreciation.

For her equally talented performance...

You know if someone tried to write a musical score for The Great War on Terror.

Apart from the screams in the background.

I bet you a quarter that's what it would sound like...

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Recession and the Capitalist System

One thing that strikes me about this growing recession is how noisy the protests have been in Europe.

And how quiet it is in North America....particularly in the United States where so many lives are being chewed up.

And how while the Americans are venting their anger on the banks...and the bosses.

Many Europeans are blaming the capitalist system itself.

And asking themselves this question.

The case FOR:

No one claims that we're all Marxists now but I do think the old boy deserves some credit for noticing that it's the economy, stupid — and that many of the apparently omniscient titans who ascend the commanding heights of the economy are not so much stupid as downright imbecilic, driven by a mad exploitative greed that threatens us all.

Marx's work is not holy writ....Even so, he exposed for the first time that capitalism is a force of creative destruction, and that its most lethal wounds may be inflicted by its own weapons. “All that is solid melts into air,” he wrote....

The case AGAINST:

Marx was interested in capitalism's crises because he thought they would eventually lead to revolution. That's the other reason why people are interested in Marx today. If he was correct about capitalism's crises, the men with the stubble hope, then maybe his prediction that the whole system would fall apart will also be fulfilled. It won't, because the world Marx was writing about looks nothing like ours.

What's more, the central idea in Marxism — that the interests of the workers and owners were separate and opposed — is no longer true. Anybody who has a pension or life insurance owns part of the means of production because the pension funds and life insurance companies are the biggest owners of shares in companies in the world. The bourgeoisie and the proletariat are thus the same people these days, so the class war which Marx thought would bring the system down is over.

I have no idea who is right. All I know is that a system that causes so much suffering. A system that treats human beings like commodities.

A system that even even in the good times was drowning us in greed. Torching the planet. And leading us all to disaster.

Is a system that needs to CHANGE.

It won't be Old Marxism it won't be Old Capitalism. But in the time of the Great Confusion it's really as simple as this:

It will have to be something new and BETTER. It will have to save the planet as well as the economy.

Or the noisy protests of today.

Will become the REVOLUTIONS of tomorrow...

Afghanistan: Where Rape is Now Legal

I think it's safe to say that Hamid Karzai, the peacock puppet of Kabulistan, is not exactly a saint. Although I like him better than his brother....the smack dealer.

And I recognize that buying everything.... from votes to young children.... is a well established Assghan tradition.

But this is the absolute limit.

Afghanistan's President, Hamid Karzai, has signed a law which "legalises" rape, women's groups and the United Nations warn. Critics claim the president helped rush the bill through parliament in a bid to appease Islamic fundamentalists ahead of elections in August.

In a massive blow for women's rights, the new Shia Family Law negates the need for sexual consent between married couples, tacitly approves child marriage and restricts a woman's right to leave the home..

The most controversial parts of the law deal explicitly with sexual relations. Article 132 requires women to obey their husband's sexual demands and stipulates that a man can expect to have sex with his wife at least "once every four nights" when travelling, unless they are ill..

Look.... I know that our doomed mission in Afghanistan has helped women and girls make some limited progress.

But what's the use if they have to live in a country with such backward and barbaric laws?

And that reminds me....what's happening with this guy?

Why haven't I heard our Con government demanding he be released?

And who forgot to bribe the peacock puppet ? Before he bribed the mullahs....with the lives of women and girls.

And who will knock him off his perch I wonder?

Oh boy. The Islamic Republican of Assghanistan.

Where religion trumps justice. Always.

And even victory means DEFEAT...

Can a Sub Sandwich be Really THAT Sexy?

I doubt it.

Just don't tell the "Toasty Torpedo...."

Hmmmm.....daringly different.....but why are they calling this ad homoerotic? I'd much rather date a vacuum cleaner than go out with a creepy oven like that one.

But...but....but...is it camp or is it *gasp* homophobic?

Golly. I give up. Besides my position on this matter is quite clear: NOBODY of any persuasion or gender should be seen eating a foot-long sub in public. It's just not dignified.

On the other hand .... I guess it's something to keep in mind if you live in the Great White North eh?

Next time I'm so frozen my foot-long feels like it's going to fall off.

Remind me to drop into the nearest Quizno's....

And ask if I can WARM it up.

I mean just because we can't get it together to toasty torpedo Harper and his Cons, doesn't mean we isn't GENIOUSES eh?

WHAT????? You think it isn't HARD being a Canadian these days?

Does a bear shit , dance in the woods?

I thought so.


Have a great week everyone...

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Stephen Harper's Pathetic Fox Interview

I didn't watch Stephen Harper's interview on Fox News today. I don't subscribe to that Dead Republicon channel. And after the way they spat on our soldiers in Afghanistan you can be sure I never will.

I'm boycotting them. Just like some Conservatives said they would.

The Fox interview comes less than a week after some Conservatives called on Canadians to boycott the network because of an offensive late-night talk show that disparaged Canadian military efforts in Afghanistan.

But didn't. In fact when I checked the Blogging Tories they were practically falling over themselves kissing Great Loser Leader's ass.

Like this dumbo BLOBBY.

No doubt he loved the Great De-Regulator boasting about our regulated banks.

Isn't that pathetic?

But here's the BEST part.

When the old Con hack Norman Spector somehow summoned up the integrity to pan Harper's pitiful performance.

One can understand that Mr. Harper would not have wanted to criticize Mr. Obama's domestic policies. One can also understand that he is bound by a parliamentary vote on Afghanistan. What is less understandable is why the Prime Minister and his advisers accepted Mr. Wallace's invitation to appear on his program in the first place.

The Conny commenters were on him like flies on shit....accusing him of being a LIBERAL!!!


Oh boy. Is the right dying a slow and painful death or what?

Isn't it great to be a progressive? Free to love our country. Free to speak our minds about those who dishonour our soldiers...like the klowns from Fox News.

Instead of a bunch of Bush Con stooges.

Or Canada hating sheep...

Yup. Enjoy their death bleats brothers and sisters. Watch them stumble pretending to be responsible regulators....or Liberals. Watch them gobble each other up.

The present may be bleak and BLOBBY.

But the future belongs to us....

Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Bigot Bishop of Calgary Strikes Again

Uh oh. Just when I thought I'd seen and heard the last from the wacky Bishop of Calgary Fred Henry...he's back in the news.

And as wacky as ever.

Three years ago he was making a bigot monkey out of himself suggesting that gay people should be arrested.

"Since homosexuality, adultery, prostitution and pornography undermine the foundations of the family, the basis of society, then the State must use its coercive power to proscribe or curtail them in the interests of the common good."

Now he's making people with AIDS pay for his crazy war on rubbers.

Gawd. I hate having to criticize religious extremists all the time. Because just thinking about the shite that comes out of their pieholes makes me want to vomit.

But what ever happened to good old fashioned morality? You know loving your brother and your sister. And trying to prevent them from getting sick.

Oh well....I guess loony Freddy knows which side his holy cracker is buttered on.

So all I can do is give him my Simon salute. Press the wingnut emergency button.

To warn people he's BAAAACK !!!!

And dream of the day when all these inhuman religious fanatics can be bagged...preferably with a giant rubber.

Like these other wiggly things...

Wouldn't THAT be a lovely feeling?

Good for the Catholic teachers for helping the poor women and children of Africa who are living with HIV/AIDS.

But as for the nasty bigot Bishop, he should be ASHAMED...

Earth Hour and the Light of our Arses

Well in a few hours it will Earth Hour.

And I'm not quite sure what to make of it. On the one hand it's just a big and short publicity stunt. On the other hand I'll take ANY excuse to put out the lights and party on a Saturday night.

Billions of people can't be wrong eh?

And it does remind us all, if only for a moment, how much we depend on electricity. How much we take it for granted. And what would happen if the lights went out.

And stayed out.

Over the last few decades, western civilisations have busily sown the seeds of their own destruction. Our modern way of life, with its reliance on technology, has unwittingly exposed us to an extraordinary danger: plasma balls spewed from the surface of the sun could wipe out our power grids, with catastrophic consequences.

Which is yet another reason for everyone to think a lot more about how to conserve electricity .... and clean up the environment all year long.

Like my favourite hospital is doing.

Because where do we think the Light of Life comes from?

Our arses?

Damn. Now that's something EVERYONE can do....um....you know buy energy efficient light bulbs.

And it does cheer me up.

Now I know if the Great Darkness comes all I need is Ezra Levant .... or Kathy Shaidle.... as my BIG ARSE bicycle light. And I could RULE THE WORLD !!!!!!!

Which would be almost worth the inconvenience of having to peddle my computer. And hunt humans for FOOD.

Hey don't forget to have fun...AND save the planet eh?

Happy Earth Hour everyone !!!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Stephen Harper's Shameful Visit to Fox News

Well I see Great Strong , Economist , Loser Leader is off to New York City again for an interview with Fox News.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper will travel to the United States this weekend for another series of American media interviews, including one with the Fox News network that disparaged Canadian soldiers last week.

Can you believe that ? I wonder when Harper begged them for an interview. Before or after these guys came home?

Are these Cons shameless or what?

But then what do you expect ? They have always worshipped at the altar of Fox News. They prefer THEIR news to OUR news.

Whenever some right-wing RepubliCon comes on and screams through his asshole.... they fall to their knees and kiss the screen. Or lick it.

Because they HATE Canada and our beautiful Canadian values so much.

In fact Don Newman said tonight that the Con mouthpiece Kory Teneycke once told him the CBC should be more like Fox News.

But our poor little Canadian institution didn't do that and you know what happened...

And if you think these cuts won't end up KILLING the CBC....you better read this story.

Meanwhile, if the asset sales don't go through, all bets are off, added Lacroix.

"We'll go back to the drawing-board and look at all of the services," said Lacroix. "This is like pulling a thread on your sweater. If you pull on something, the whole sweater comes (apart).

Today I took this shot of the Glenn Gould statue in front of the CBC building.

In a little CBC boutique next door they were selling stuff at 70 per cent off. It was so sad. You could see the writing on the wall.

But now at least we can let this Bush Con government know how we feel.

We are CANADIAN. We hate right-wing American assholes who put down our soldiers.

And we LOVE our CBC...

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Harper's Apocalyptic Foreign Policy

I see Lawrence Martin takes aim at Stephen Harper's Con klown foreign policy.

Previous Conservative governments showed some progressive strains abroad. Not these Regressive Conservatives. With Russia, with China, in the Middle East, they harbour old confrontational attitudes. There's no new outreach as there is in Washington, no new thinking for new times.

On fiscal matters, it may be that our PM has become more moderate. But as for world affairs, there's clearly no need for his party's hard-liners to be rolling over in their caves.

But he never explains WHY the Cons are making us the laughing stock of the world. Why are they more pro-Israeli than Israel? Why hasn't Great Leader visited China? And why are they trying to portray the crumbling Russians as the new/old Red Menace?

Is it incompetence....or is it something else even more disturbing? Like the foreign policy visions of the theocons who are crawling all over the PMO.

The ones who share the beliefs of Harper and his church. The ones he doesn't like to talk about.

The Alliance Church, to which Harper has belonged for decades, believes Jesus Christ will return to Earth in an apocalypse, won't ordain women, strongly opposes abortion and divorce, condemns homosexuality as the most base of sins and believes those who aren't born-again are "lost."

The church is one of the most aggressive missionary churches on earth, and the biggest thorn in its side....or nail in its cross.... is China which doesn't allow them in. Which explains why Harper won't be taking even the slow boat to China. Why he snubbed the Olympics. Why he is antagonizing China....even if it hurts Canada's economy.Because his church would CRUCIFY him if didn't.

And then there's this fanatic devotion to Israel right or wrong. Which can only be explained by the beliefs of these theocons that Israel will be the site of the Battle of Armageddon.The place where The Messiah will land...and pick up the faithful.

As well as the site of the Battle of Gog and Magog. The one Harper's good friend, the ridiculous Christianist Charles McVety, is always talking about. The one the Bible says will be so fierce it will take seven days to bury the dead.

This Last War...

And who are the villains of this Last War? Yup. You got it.....the Mooslim hordes and the RUSSIANS.

Oh my Goggy. You know...... I believe that these apocalyptic economic times, and the collapse of the Christian Right in the U.S., have convinced many of these theocons that the End of the World is at hand.

And now they are so worked up they're DANGEROUS.

I know that Stephen Harper is running our foreign policy. But what we really need to know is why is it so CRAZY?

And so Biblical.

“I say this not just to Jews, but to gentiles everywhere. It is important to remember that history teaches us that those who aim to destroy the Jewish people — to destroy the nation of Israel — that kind of spirit will not be quenched by that objective.

“They will be a threat to us all, and that is why they must be opposed.”

And who is REALLY calling the shots?

Harper, the CBC, and the Day of Reckoning

When I come across scenes like this one and I wonder how bad it's going to get in Stephen Harper's Canada.

And how much suffering we'll be able to ignore.

And I know that a few blocks away the CBC is being gutted.

And that Great Monster Leader must be so excited he probably has to keep both hands in his pockets to keep from fondling himself in public.

Because he HATES the CBC so much.

And I wonder what kind of country I'm living in...

I wish we could have an election TOMORROW.

But the painful truth is that we can't. The time is not right. The blank cheque, the crime bills, the CBC, are just designed to provoke the Liberals into forcing an election before they are ready.

And this is a far better hill for Harper to die on.

Sooner or later.... when even more Canadians become unemployed in a country without a proper safety net. And the suffering will be impossible to ignore.

Harper's words will come back to haunt him:

"In terms of the unemployed, of which we have over a million-and-a-half, don't feel particularly bad for many of these people. They don't feel bad about it themselves, as long as they're receiving generous social assistance and unemployment insurance."

The day of reckoning will finally arrive.

And the monster WILL be toppled....

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Religious Dinosaurs, Polygamy and Gay Marriage

Holy Moley. I realize these apocalyptic times have Stephen Harper's SoCons in a frenzy...walking around in their pyjamas waiting for their Raptor Messiah to land.

But who knew the religious polygamists at Bountiful would have this old dinosaur vomiting up this fossilized argument.

If two men living together can be called a marriage, why not one man and three women? If two women can be married, why not the members of a commune? When you substitute a definition of marriage based not on reproductive potential but on ideology, then marriage means any arrangement with ideological acceptability.

Lordy. Throw in the bit about marrying your dog and I think I can safely say I've heard it ALL before.

And it's STILL bullshit....or dinosaur dung.

Now look I realize that religious extremism is a form of mental illness, but why do these friggin homophobes have to be so dumb?

Why can't they even COUNT?

One man and one man. Or one woman and one man. Or one woman and one woman leads in each case to a maximum of TWO. Not sixteen young girls and one dirty old patriarch.

And in every case legally or romantically it's about the LOVE of one human being for another.

But what would decrepit old dinosaur homophobes like Ian Hunter know about that?

Homophobia is a disease. Polygamy is a religious problem.

They're waiting for their Raptor Messiah.

I'm waiting for the asteroid....

Monday, March 23, 2009

Why I'm Not Apologizing for my Gay Marriage

Oh boy. It feels like Spring in the Great White North.The ducks are quacking in the pond. Lovers are everywhere. I'm under renewed pressure to marry Sébastien.

And this doesn't help.

Lordy. Soon there won't be any places where you CAN'T get married.

But never mind because now I've got another excuse not to get hitched: I don't want to have to apologize to the bigots.

Like Ellen's wife just did...

Because can you imagine ME apologizing to a homophobe?

And besides if that excuse doesn't work I've got another.

The guy who will be the best man dog at my wedding ....if I ever get married.

Isn't feeling his usual self...

He had an operation to remove a small lump on his belly. He's fine. I'm still recovering.

But he won't be able to wear a tuxedo for at least another two months.

Gawd. When you hear wedding bells ringing in your head, is that a sign of insanity...or a sign of things to come?

Sébastien is the chosen one. Kerouac is a trooper. Portia is fabulous.

And I LOVE Vermont...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

The ReformCon Agenda to Destroy the CBC

They say James Moore is one of the better Conservatives. He's pro-choice and for gay marriage. And anyone who loves dogs can't be ALL bad.

But when it comes to the CBC he's the designated ReformCon pitbull....and his big head might as well be buried in its belly tearing at its guts.

Because when it comes to the CBC..... he's a good little ReformCon doggie listening to his master's voice.

Regard the horror of the hidden agenda.

And isn't this interesting?

Harper appointed Hubert Lacroix president of the CBC. Lacroix, who contributed $1,000 (the maximum legal amount) to a Conservative candidate during the previous general election, is a Montreal-based mergers and acquisitions lawyer. His only known broadcasting governance experience has been as executive chair of TeleMedia during the period when that family–controlled company sold off its broadcasting properties some years ago.

So the Cons appointed a Con supporter as President whose specialty is selling off buildings. You don't think they were planning to gut the CBC before the recession struck....and are now using that as an excuse to finish it off?

Or reduce it to a crippled, second-rate service.

You know I have my problems with the CBC. I think it sometimes tries too hard to be a commercial network like all the others. But then I didn't realize until recently how much it depends on ads....because it doesn't get enough money from the government.

And for all its flaws, it's a great Canadian institution. One of our great success stories... like medicare. It's an institution we need in a big and divided country like ours. So we can know each other better.

Which is why I'll NEVER understand why some Canadians seem determined to tear down what we have built up together. Or why these alien Cons seem to hate Canada so much.

But if this death by a thousand cuts continues much longer, one day we'll all wake up in a shrunken ugly country we don't recognize anymore.

To love our beautiful Canada is to HATE these dirty Cons.

Defeat them, crush them, finish them off...

Harper and the Return of the Reform Party

Well now it's official. Great Crazy Leader isn't the head of the new/nouveau Conservative Party anymore. He's the wild eyed Monkey Fuhrer of the rotting old Reform Party.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper encouraged farmers and hunters attending a fishing an hunting conference in Ontario Saturday to pressure their MPs to abolish the long-gun registry.

Harper was criticized this week for speaking at the event, where the organization is holding a silent auction for a “hunting package” that includes a rifle.

So let's see. First he screams Freedom ,Family, Faith at a Con rally...like some kind of tinpot fascist.

Then he appoints a religious homophobe to the refugee board. And promotes not one but TWO religious extremists to senior positions in the PMO.

Then it's revealed that the Cons are secretly plotting to take over student unions. And that the Science Minister is a creationist.

Now they are going all out to gut the CBC...just to please their rabid redneck base. Now it's all about guns and crime. So why is the Reform Party suddenly back?

Chantal Hebert has a theory.

Prime Ministers don't always have a dauphin, especially when their reign threatens to end sooner than they would have chosen. But they generally have a good idea of who they don't want to see replace them.

Stephen Harper is ready it seems to take his party back to its Reform roots to settle his scores with Jean Charest.

And prevent the old PCers from regaining control of the party.

I like this theory because it would mean that Harper knows the writing is on the wall, and he has decided his ReformCon party is more important than his country. And that is the hill he will die on.

But in the meantime this government is growing more right-wing and dangerous by the day.

And if we don't drive these Reform swine from power soon, they will destroy everything that's beautiful about this country.

And make us the laughing stock of the world.

Oh boy. Sticks and stones can't hurt our bones. Eh? Wot?

But when they laugh at you it's OVER...


h/t Paul Wells

Saturday, March 21, 2009

The Bigot Woozle of British Columbia

The first time I arrived in Vancouver a friend took me to the tip of Stanley Park ...a place called Ferguson Point...to watch the sun go down and the float planes come in to land.

And it was all so awesome...and the BC bud was so good.... I turned to him at one point and said something like "OMG this is PARADISE !!!! "

And he said: "Yes...but just remember as soon as you leave the city it's Reform Country."

And I said: "Oh no...not rednecks and woozles?"

And he laughed and said "No woozles but more rednecks than you can count."

But sadly he was only HALF right. There were quite a few rednecks and religious fanatics. But there was also a woozle. A nasty bigot woozle called Kari Simpson

And not only is she REALLY ugly and scary.

Now she's going after gay kids.

Telling them they're sick and need to be treated. When in fact they are BEAUTIFUL. And it's the bigot woozle that needs urgent treatment...to cure her foul homophobia.

Although now that I think about it even a woozle couldn't be that mean and nasty

So maybe what we're REALLY dealing with here is Canada's Anita Bryant...

You know some things are for sure eh?

Bigots and homophobes may hurt us, but they will NEVER beat us.

And whether they are woozles or worse.

They ALWAYS look ridiculous...

Friday, March 20, 2009

Israeli Soldiers Reveal the Horror of Gaza

The Israeli government can dismiss what the world had to say about the bloodbath in Gaza.

But it can't ignore the words of its own soldiers.

"There was an order to free the [confined] families. The platoon commander set free the family and told them to turn right. A mother and two children didn't understand and turned left. [Officers] had forgotten to tell the sniper on the roof that they were being set free and that everything was okay and he should hold fire. You can say that he acted as he was supposed to, in accordance with the orders. The sniper saw a woman and children approaching him, past lines that no one was to be allowed to cross. He fired directly at them. I don't know if he fired at their legs but in the end he killed them."."

Now nobody can deny it was murder.

But here's the really frightening part.

Rabbis affiliated with the Israeli army urged troops heading into Gaza to reclaim what they said was God-given land and "get rid of the gentiles" - effectively turning the 22-day Israeli intervention into a religious war, according to the testimony of a soldier who fought in Gaza.

The poor little children of Gaza never had a chance.

I always knew the War on Gaza was madness.

But I thought it was just the generals and the politicians.

Now I understand why so many soldiers acted so brutally.

Now I understand EVERYTHING.

A T-shirt for infantry snipers bears the inscription "Better use Durex," next to a picture of a dead Palestinian baby, with his weeping mother and a teddy bear beside him. A sharpshooter's T-shirt from the Givati Brigade's Shaked battalion shows a pregnant Palestinian woman with a bull's-eye superimposed on her belly, with the slogan, in English, "1 shot, 2 kills." A "graduation" shirt for those who have completed another snipers course depicts a Palestinian baby, who grows into a combative boy and then an armed adult, with the inscription, "No matter how it begins, we'll put an end to it."

Now it's up to the Israelis to understand.

Occupation, war, racism and religious bigotry turn people into monsters.

When will they ever learn?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Great Progressive YouTube Offensive

During the last election I hoped that the Progressive side would launch a YouTube assault on Stephen Harper's Con thugs. And make them pay for the brutish bully ads they fired at Stephane Dion.

It didn't happen then, but now it finally has..... and it's awesome.

From the brilliant ad in that post about the creationist chiropractor posing as a Science Minister.

To the wonderful work of The Amazing Grit Girl....

And the best part is because these progressive attack ads are so classy... the horrible attack Cons don't know what to do. Except whine and make empty threats.

If the Conservatives are holding their fire so they won’t be blamed for playing politics during this economic crisis, the Liberals and their proxies have just given them the green light and the media wouldn’t hold much credibility if they said the Tories fired first.

When in fact the Con ads are probably so brutish and dumb they don't even DARE launch them. Because they would only remind Canadians that attacks ads and Harper's sleazy Cons go together like shit and toilet paper. And make Great Pretend Liberal Leader look like a right-wing asshole. Again.

I believe we call that being hoisted on your own petard...or drowned in your own CRAPPER.

Now due to my almost complete lack of editing skills..... I'm not quite sure what MY attack videos are going to look like. But I think it's safe to say that Great Monster Leader will NOT look his best in them.

And that although I'd like to be as classy as The Grit Girl ....I'm sorry to say I wouldn't really be surprised.

If they ended up looking and sounding a bit like this one....

Except that in my videos the inflatable Harper doll won't say anything vulgar. Just "I saw it coming....OUCH !!! "The economy is strong ...WAAAH !!! " And the dog will just say: "I know what I'm doing....WOOF WOOF !!!"

Over and over again. Until the doll springs a leak or blows up. PFFFFFT. *POP.* And the punchline comes on:

Stephen Harper's Conservatives: Fucking ...Blowing it up as they go along.

C'mon comrades it's time to storm the barricades....and master those editing skills.

The Great YouTube War has begun.

And we're gonna KILL 'EM....

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Con Conspiracy to Destroy Canada

Their crazed leader screams Freedom Family Faith. And gets away with it.

They are plotting to take over student unions.

Their Science Minister is a chiropractor who doesn't believe in evolution.

We are evolving, every year, every decade. That's a fact. Whether it's to the intensity of the sun, whether it's to, as a chiropractor, walking on cement versus anything else, whether it’s running shoes or high heels, of course, we are evolving to our environment.

No matter what that ridiculous Con quack says about high heels and cement....

Their new appointment to the Refugee Board is a religious homophobe.

They have just dealt pay equity and women's rights another foul blow.

And now they are trying to destroy the CBC.

The CBC's board of directors, faced with a possible $200-million shortfall, approved on Tuesday a budget for the coming year that includes deep cuts.Media reports circulating this week indicated the broadcaster was looking at 600 to 1,200 job cuts, although this has not been confirmed.

Because Stephen Harper and his rabid base hate our country, its institutions, and its values so much.

So here's the question: how long can we call this a Conservative government....instead of a Bush Con conspiracy to destroy Canada ?

How long before we recognize the true face of the alien ENEMY ?

And how will we EVER explain this one?

Even though there were twice as many of US than there were of THEM.....sixty-four percent to thirty-five. We let the Cons use the recession to destroy our country. Because we weren't UNITED.

So how DO we explain that one? Because future generations WILL want to know why we let the Cons dismember our country piece by piece. Why we didn't realize it wasn't a political game...it was an ideological WAR.

Oh boy. We can still crush these foul evil Cons who are raping our beautiful country. But the great awakening better come soon. If we can't fight as one we should join together in the streets this summer..... and light huge bonfires of protest from one end of the country to the other.

Or by the time the fascist fog lifts.

There won't be much Canada left to save.....

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Is Pope Benny Losing Touch with Reality?

Oh. My. Gawd. Where is Tarzan when I need him? It seems Pope Benny couldn't even wait to get to Africa before making a complete ass ...monkey out of himself.

The pontiff, speaking to journalists on his flight, said the condition was "a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problems".

You know in the past few months this twisted old man has called gays more of a threat to humanity than global warming. He has invited a pack of rabid homophobe and Holocaust denying Bishops back into the Catholic Church. And now he's advocating genocide.

Because let's face it in a continent where more than a million people have died of AIDS, and 22 million are infected with HIV, and women already have a hard time convincing men to wear condoms, that's what his absurd message amounts to .

Which makes me wonder is Pope Benny going gah gah? Or is he just losing touch with reality?

He claims he isn't.

"To tell the truth I have to laugh when faced with this myth about my solitude. In no way do I feel alone: every day I see those who work with me, the heads of dicasteries (Vatican departments) and the bishops." .

But I still wonder.

"After five o'clock the only footsteps in the corridors of the papal apartment are those of the Pope and Father Georg Gaenswein, his personal secretary..."

You know the man they call Gorgeous Georg. And some call Benny's boyfriend...

The German priest who is said to be even MORE right-wing than the Pope. If that's possible.

Now look ....as an atheist I'm DELIGHTED. I consider Pope Benny to be the single most powerful unguided missile in our arsenal. So I don't really care what's happening in the Vatican Monkey Haus. Or who is holding whose...um...microphone.

But if I was a decent Catholic, and knew that Herr Gorgeous was spending so much quality time with Herr Benny.

I'd be really worried.

Just like I bet Tarzan is REALLY excited....

Me Tarzan....you Cheetah....you Benny.

The Nazi Pope in Africa. Woohoo !!!

This should be WILD...

Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Green Comet and my Blogging Journey

Maybe it was the Green Comet.....and my mistaken belief that it was the space invaders coming to save us from Stephen Harper ..... and the Great Disruption.

What if the crisis of 2008 represents something much more fundamental than a deep recession? What if it's telling us that the whole growth model we created over the last 50 years is simply unsustainable economically and ecologically and that 2008 was when we hit the wall - when Mother Nature and the market both said: "No more."

And the Great Disappointment that followed...when I realized it wasn't them. And that the only space invader that is probably ever going to DARE land on this Planet ...is one of these Darth Comets.

Comets could be the most significant impact hazard to Earth, with sky surveys underestimating the number that are potentially devastating by a factor of between 10 and 100, British astrophysicists say.

Current NEO programs might be "monitoring a swarm of bees while standing on a railway line with an express train due...."

I mean are YOU feeling lucky these days?

But anyway...what I wanted to say was with all these things on my mind I didn't notice that the other day I wrote my 1000th post. Which I realize is about as awesome as a Christmas tree light compared to the Green Comet. But for me at least ...has still been quite a journey.

I started this blog to speak up for bullied kids in our schools....because I was one of them. And of course to defend the gay cause. Then I deleted the first forty posts and started again. Only to do more or less the same thing. Just go after all the other bullies in the world as well. Like Stephen Harper and his brutish Cons.

And of course have FUN. Some of my friends say I should be more serious so I can be taken more...um....seriously. But I figure if I can't be serious AND playful I'd rather do something else. Because being playful is a big part of me, and of the kinder, gentler, world I believe in.

So I think I'll just thank my readers for their support and encouragement over the years. You are the BEST. I wish I could promise to be a better blogger. But I'm afraid all I can do is threaten ...promise to continue this journey.

At least until the Great Disruption forces me to sell my computer for food. The Big Rock we didn't see coming smacks into us. Harper wins a majority ......and sentences me to forced labour in the Oil Sands Gulag.

Or the space invaders arrive...

OMG. They're HERE !!!

Hey Great Green Leader !!!!! Welcome to Planet Toast !!!!! After you've finished zapping the Cons.....don't forget to take me with you eh?

Gawd. Maybe a thousand posts IS enough.

Thanks for reading me everyone....

Harper and the Monster behind the Mask

Ever since I heard about Stephen Harper's speech to the faithful at Parson Manning's Con Conclave I wanted to get hold of a transcript. The one the PMO refused to provide.

So I could see what other crazy things he said the day his mask fell off.

Now thanks to David Akin I got what I wanted.

So I can add this to my long list of deeply disturbing Great Monster Leader quotes:

" Instead of subsiding court challenges by left-wing fringe groups we are cracking down on criminals and providing support for victims.

File it under Fascist Nonsense...because that's what it is. And make a note in the margin about the way he said it. Like a gleeful bully bragging about his victims...and appealing to the beast in his rabid base.

And how about this quote?

Imagine the bloated bureaucracy that a daycare program would have spawned, and of course how little daycare would have grown (?) (inaudible). (mild laughter)

Don't you just love the laughter? Isn't he disgusting? Hurting parents and children and JOKING about it?

You know the photojournalist Tom Hanson took a photo of Stephen Harper during the last election campaign that I will never forget.

Because to me it symbolizes the monster behind the mask.

The one they don't want us to see. The coarse foulmouthed guy who swears all the time. But likes to pose with kittens.The brutish right-wing extremist and theocon who wants to change Canada beyond recognition.

Tragically, Tom Hanson died the other day of a sudden heart attack. He was a brilliant photographer. But that photograph will always be my favourite.

Because after that shot....and that monstrous speech.

We can't say we haven't been warned...

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Day Stephen Harper's Mask Fell Off

Well I suppose it had to happen someday. Stephen Harper's mask finally fell off. He confused Preston Manning's crummy Con conference with a beer garden...or a Baptist Church. And the monster was finally revealed.

Harper told the group that his version of conservatism is summed up "in three Fs:freedom, family and faith."

He said individual freedom is vital but it must be tempered by family and faith.

Faith in all its forms teaches . . . that there is a right and wrong beyond mere opinion or desire. Most importantly, it teaches us that freedom is not an end in itself, that how freedom is exercised matters as much as freedom itself."

Because by their words you shall know them. And let's be absolutely clear. Not only are the three Fs the slogan of every tinpot fascist dictator from Franco and Salazar to Pinochet and Bush.

It's also the favourite slogan of the Christian Right....including the reactionary, homophobic, anti-choice fanatics from the Family Research Council.

“Family, Faith, & Freedom.” Although these three values seem benign, the framing strategy constructed by the FRC painted a dire picture in which same sex marriage and abortion are threatening America from within, while terrorism is threatening the family from without—a frame that points to the terrorist attacks on 9/11, while leaping over criticism over the war in Iraq, other specific military interventions and the economy.

Which makes me wonder who wrote this speech? Was it Harper, or his new/nouveau Deputy Chief of Staff Darrel Reid...the former President of Focus on the Family?

Or one of the many other thecons in the cloisters of the PMO?

You know I'm not surprised that Harper said what he said. His pretending to be a Liberal, so he can fool Canadians into giving him a majority, has his rabid base foaming at the mouth and threatening to desert him.

So he had to send them a message: I'm still Stephen your Godly servant....I'm still one of YOU. *Hisssss*

What does surprise me is that so few in the MSM seemed to hear the coded message or react to it.

Because after this, any decent Canadians who don't understand what a threat Stephen Harper's SoCons are to our country and its values, should get brain transplants.

Before they wake up in a Canada they don't recognize.

Fight them. Fight them. Don't let them win....