Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Little Miss Universe Goes to Guantanamo

Well I see Miss Universe got a tour of the Guantanamo Bay Torture Centre.

And she REALLY loved it.

"It was a loooot of fun!"

Other highlights included meeting the military dogs – who "did a very nice demonstration of their skills"

"We visited the Detainees camps and we saw the jails, where they shower, how the(y) recreate themselves with movies, classes of art, books. It was very interesting. I didn't want to leave, it was such a relaxing place, so calm and beautiful...."

Groan. No doubt she thought waterboarding had something to do with surfing.

You know I always thought the Miss Universe contest was a crass and grotesque spectacle designed to make women look like bimbos and sex objects.

Now I'm forced to conclude that the organizers of the Torture Tour pose a serious threat to Jason Kenney and Dr Roy in the Small Brains but Big Boobs International Idiots Contest.

Which is really bad because I've got a quarter riding on each of them.

As for La Guantanamera herself....words fail me.

So on behalf of Omar Khadr.

The Canadian kid who has been rotting in that evil place for years.

And all the other people abused by the guards she entertained.

And since she loves dogs with skills....

I thought I'd let this guy express my appreciation.

For her equally talented performance...

You know if someone tried to write a musical score for The Great War on Terror.

Apart from the screams in the background.

I bet you a quarter that's what it would sound like...


Skinny Dipper said...

I think that sounds more like the Great War on Terrier.

Anonymous said...

After reading the Reuters article, the word that came to my mind was "grotesque", so I googled it along with Miss Universe, and this page was in the results. I simply cannot think of any other way to describe this.

Oemissions said...

Miss Dingbat!
What was the purpose of the visit?
To portray womens intellegence?
Powers of observation?

Simon said...

Hi Skinny Dipper...The Great War on Terrier? :)
But yes it started off as a horror show and now it's Beach Party or in this case a soft porn flick...
OMG. How could anyone be so DITZY?
It boggles the mind. I almost feel like writing a musical...

Simon said...

Hi anonymous...yes I used the word grotesque because like you it came immediately to mind.
And mindboggling. I must have stared at that story for about five minutes...with my mouth open...before my brain could compute it. Can The Abyss be far off? :)

Simon said...

Hi Oemissions...since Miss Universe's are practically held captive by their handlers I'm putting most of the blame on them. What WERE they thinking? The funny part is that when I checked out Dayan's blog I see her profound thoughts on the universe have been replaced by a message from her sponsors.
Short version: She was just honouring our brave men and women in uniform. Barf... :)