The Sad End of a Great Space Adventure

Early this morning, about 1.2 billion kilometres away from Earth, an amazing 20-year voyage came to a sudden end.

When the Cassini spacecraft crashed into Saturn.

And I must admit that when it did, I found myself moved beyond belief.

Voyager One and Our Message to the Aliens

It's amazing to think that this little toy that we earthlings made is now sailing out of our solar system.

The tireless Voyager I spacecraft, launched in the disco era and now more than 11 billion miles from Earth, has become the first man-made object to enter interstellar space, scientists said Thursday. Interstellar space, scientists now know with certainty, is dense with particles, and the place is literally hissing. Or maybe you could say it’s whistling in the dark.

And even more amazing to wonder what might happen if it ever encountered an alien civilization. And they heard the message we sent them.

Me, the Cons, and the Space Invaders

As I've mentioned before,  I spend a lot of time staring up at the night sky and waving my arms wildly. Hoping against hope that the space invaders will rescue me from this barbarous planet where I clearly don't belong.

And of course, zap Stephen Harper and his brutish Cons all the way back to the redneck province of Alberta...where THEY clearly belong.

So I found this warning rather shocking.

OMG. I never thought of that. What if they are WORSE than us? Who knew that was possible?

And if they are...never mind our resources. Because they can take the dirty oil sands anytime they want eh?

But what if they are HUNGRY?



Hmmm...you know if I threw a pork chop...or some cocaine...into that spaceship. And told the Cons the alien planet was a capitalist jungle. I bet you I could convince the Harperite cult to go with them.

And I'm sure I could tantalize the evil aliens into sparing my life, by telling them how many more space burgers they could make out of Jason Kenney.

Mmmmm....trust me your alienship... MUCHO tasty...piggy...porko...YUMMY.

But as for me I'll only be waving at the space invaders who finally answered my call. The ones from Planet Gay.

Because it turns out I'm one of them eh? We're getting ready to zap the Cons all the way back to Alberta. The Pope is next.

And I'm happy up down here...

Hubble's Glory and My New Space Heroes

The word hero is so misused these days it has practically lost its meaning. But my hall of real heroes now includes the crew of the shuttle Atlantis.

Who were finally able to come home yesterday.



Because they were operating at a higher altitude, they had one chance is 229 of being hit by some of the space junk that rings the planet.



















They had to work under impossible conditions.

Their landing was delayed for three days until they were practically out of food and fuel.

And they did it all just so an aging telescope could bring us more amazing pictures like this one.
















And these.

To remind us of our place in the universe. How small we are. How precious is our little planet.

And how nothing is more important than saving it....from ourselves.

Yup. To the crew of the shuttle Atlantis....













Please take another bow.

*Applause*

Because that was EXCELLENT...

The Green Comet and my Blogging Journey

Maybe it was the Green Comet.....and my mistaken belief that it was the space invaders coming to save us from Stephen Harper ..... and the Great Disruption.

What if the crisis of 2008 represents something much more fundamental than a deep recession? What if it's telling us that the whole growth model we created over the last 50 years is simply unsustainable economically and ecologically and that 2008 was when we hit the wall - when Mother Nature and the market both said: "No more."

And the Great Disappointment that followed...when I realized it wasn't them. And that the only space invader that is probably ever going to DARE land on this Planet ...is one of these Darth Comets.

Comets could be the most significant impact hazard to Earth, with sky surveys underestimating the number that are potentially devastating by a factor of between 10 and 100, British astrophysicists say.

Current NEO programs might be "monitoring a swarm of bees while standing on a railway line with an express train due...."

I mean are YOU feeling lucky these days?

But anyway...what I wanted to say was with all these things on my mind I didn't notice that the other day I wrote my 1000th post. Which I realize is about as awesome as a Christmas tree light compared to the Green Comet. But for me at least ...has still been quite a journey.
















I started this blog to speak up for bullied kids in our schools....because I was one of them. And of course to defend the gay cause. Then I deleted the first forty posts and started again. Only to do more or less the same thing. Just go after all the other bullies in the world as well. Like Stephen Harper and his brutish Cons.

And of course have FUN. Some of my friends say I should be more serious so I can be taken more...um....seriously. But I figure if I can't be serious AND playful I'd rather do something else. Because being playful is a big part of me, and of the kinder, gentler, world I believe in.

So I think I'll just thank my readers for their support and encouragement over the years. You are the BEST. I wish I could promise to be a better blogger. But I'm afraid all I can do is threaten ...promise to continue this journey.

At least until the Great Disruption forces me to sell my computer for food. The Big Rock we didn't see coming smacks into us. Harper wins a majority ......and sentences me to forced labour in the Oil Sands Gulag.

Or the space invaders arrive...



OMG. They're HERE !!!

Hey Great Green Leader !!!!! Welcome to Planet Toast !!!!! After you've finished zapping the Cons.....don't forget to take me with you eh?

Gawd. Maybe a thousand posts IS enough.

Thanks for reading me everyone....

The Man Who Would Fall to Earth in Saskatchewan

I see the former French paratrooper who plans to jump from a balloon forty kilometres over Saskatchewan has postponed his first attempt.

And I'm not sure whether to be disappointed ..... or RELIEVED. Because something about this story bothers me.

I admire the old guy for his guts and for sacrificing everything for a 20-year dream.

And I know how great the feeling of free falling through the air can be...even if Sébastien has to kick me in the butt to get me to jump.

But Michel Fournier is sixty-four, has had a triple bypass, is planning to jump from a height three times higher than he ever has before, and reach a speed almost twice as fast as the great Joe Kittinger.

A speed where you could burn, as well as freeze, or have your blood boil.

And if French authorities decided the project was too dangerous to allow him to jump over France...who decided it was safe enough for him to jump over Saskatchewan?

Just wondering.

Oh well. I hope the old guy makes it.












That his dream comes true at last. And that his watch doesn't stop.

So he gets to see our world rushing towards him like the great Joe Kittinger did.

Whose bravery has always thrilled me.

And who said this week:

It was nice to be headed back to earth, because it’s an environment that we can live in...

And it’s a beautiful planet, really....”

Really...



Oh well....at least he won't need a surfboard in Saskatchewan.

Bonne chance Michel !!

The Eclipse and the War in Space

When I watched the moon turn orange last night.

It was easy to imagine how ancient peoples might have thought the world was ending.

But for signs of our own apocalypse..... I was watching that other space event.

Because if you can shoot down your own satellites like the U.S. and China now have...you can shoot down the satellites of your enemies.

Which explains why those enemies weren't happy today.

Moscow and Beijing complained that the missile strike smacked of hypocrisy as the US had rejected a joint attempt by the two countries from banning weapons in outer space only a month ago.

And why now they're ALL hypocrites.

The Pentagon now spends more than $12 billion annually to develop weapons capable of shooting down missiles entering or leaving space.....The military has also worked on a laser project in New Mexico that could have anti-satellite capabilities, and has launched two small satellites that independent experts speculate could be modified to attack, or defend, larger spacecraft.

The Russian program involved launching smaller craft to follow a target and get close enough to blow it up. Early last year, China demonstrated its own capability by shooting a ground-based missile at an old satellite 600 miles in space.

Which makes me wonder if people realize where this War in Space race is heading.

And whether we'll have the sense to force our leaders to hit eject.

Before it's too late...

The Search for Life in Outer Space Gets Serious

For years I've been using a crude but powerful transmitter to beam a signal into outer space...demanding to know who the hell was responsible for sending me to Planet Earth. And what the fuck are they waiting for to RESCUE me????

But I never expected to hear from them. Until now.

The Allen Telescope Array will be like 200 million Jodie Fosters sitting out there listening...We don't know how many needles are in the galactic haystack of 400 billion stars, but I think we will find (signals from intelligent civilizations) by 2025....

Two hundred MILLION Jodie Fosters listening for aliens?

That'll drive the crazy guy from Taxi Driver even crazier. Are you LISTENING to ME? Are you LISTENING to ME?

And what WILL we do if we find them?

The good news is we have a PLAN....

No response to a signal or other evidence of extraterrestrial intelligence should be sent until appropriate international consultations have taken place. The procedures for such consultations will be the subject of a separate agreement, declaration or arrangement.

The bad news is the discovery that we're not alone could cause humans to act even MORE like humans.

Reactions to a detection (or non-detection) can range from indifference through mild positive or negative curiosity, through millennial enthusiasm or catastrophist anxiety, to full scale pronoia or paranoia....A few reactions would probably be irrationally extreme or even violent.

OMFG...not full scale PRONOIA...which reminds me..... what if the aliens are just like us? Only CRAZIER.

Will we really have to send Bruce Willis after them? Or will THEY come after us?

Uh oh....I think I'm going to be sending out a new message along with my please call Earth one. Something like this...

Dear Cosmic Neighbours.

My name is Simon and I live on Planet Earth where I was sent by the civilized galaxy of Gayzonia to study the primitive creatures (humans) who live here. It was a horrible mistake needless to say.... And I'm afraid I've got some really BAD news to pass on. Not only are these humans extremely violent and completely crazy.They're LOOKING for you!!!!

The good news is that since I come from the so-called rainbow galaxy I'm different. I'm friendly. I'm open to new experiences ....and I don't care how green or how blobby you are.

So if you do decide to invade Earth I'd be HAPPY to be your tour guide. I'll explain everything. I'll show you all the neat places...and point out all the people you absolutely HAVE to kill...or ZAP with your ray guns.

And all I ask is that when you have finished torching this miserable planet, that you drop me off at my civilized little galaxy on the way home.

Oh yes....and that you take this nasty alien with you as well...

















And just dump him ANYWHERE.

Or EAT him.

Because this monster came from some crazy evil neocon planet . And he's REALLY dangerous.

Your ONLY friend on Earth

Simon

You know if Stephen Harper DOES get a majority I won't be the only Canadian looking up at the sky praying for deliverance.

We all will.

As for the aliens out there....do you think it would help if I sent them this video as well?



No. I didn't think so either.

Oh boy.....we better hope there's NOBODY out there.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!