Donald Trump, the Enemy Rain, and the Scary Trumpy Bear

As I'm sure you know, Donald Trump's trip to France, to mark the 100th anniversary of World War I, was a diplomatic catastrophe.

And a PR disaster similar to the time he climbed the steps to Air Force One, with a long piece of toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

He was heavily criticized for using light rain as an excuse to skip a visit to a U.S. cemetery. 


He was trolled by the French Army.



"There is rain, but it's not serious, we're staying motivated."

Justin Trudeau made him look bad by simply walking down the Champs-Élysées without an umbrella.



While Trump dodged the rain again by travelling to the Arc de Triomphe in a limousine.

And to make matters worse, a clip of Trudeau at a ceremony in Dieppe in 2017 also went viral, and no doubt embarrassed Trump further.



But let it not be said that Trump does not know the true meaning of sacrifice.

It was still raining Sunday afternoon when Trump went by motorcade to Suresnes. But this time Trump did not retreat. He heroically cast aside his umbrella and spoke — for 10 moist minutes. 

He recalled the sacrifice of Americans in the Great War (“through rain, hail, snow, mud, poisonous gas, bullets and mortar, they held the line”). And he invoked his own sacrifice, telling a group under a tent: “You look so comfortable up there, under shelter as we’re getting drenched.”

And who could fail to be moved by this?

The lectern dripped. His overcoat glistened. And yet his hair, under protective lacquer, held firm — like the burning bush that was not consumed. 

The valiant polymers that fell defending his hair from the rain seeped into the soil at Suresnes. Now it truly can be said, as the poem goes, that there’s some corner of a foreign field that is forever Trump.

And there was more good news for his faithful supporters.



Trump will be better prepared next time.



And they can now have a Trumpy Bear to hug when he's not around.



Of course, like almost everything to do with Trump, there's also a sinister side story.

Like its ancestor, the Trumpy Bear becomes more sinister if you understand its origins. The ad begins on an ominous note. “A storm is coming,” a husky voice says. “You cannot defeat the storm. I am the storm.” 

What does a storm have to do with stuffed bears? The answer is disturbing. Those words are the slogan used by QAnon conspiracy theorists, who believe Trump is a heroic figure fighting a secret network of pedophiles that control Hollywood, the Democratic Party, and the so-called Deep State. The Trump Bear is the cuddly avatar for one of the most unhinged factions of American political life.

You know, twenty-five years from now we're going to have trouble explaining this nightmare. 

But if we put a Trumpy Bear in a time capsule, it should be a lot easier...