Thursday, October 02, 2008

Does Sarah Palin have a Secret Weapon?

Golly. I just saw Sarah Palin arriving in St Louis for her big debate with Joe Biden, waving her poor little baby like a flag. With her teenage slut Bristol dressed in a special dress that makes her look even MORE pregnant.

So now I'm starting to get worried. Could the redneck from Wasilla snatch victory from the jaws of a dead polar bear?

Because I know she's been practicing REALLY hard. Her Republican operatives have been prepping her up the kazoo at their sinister debate camp.

But what if she asks if her family can join her on stage during the debate...so she can keep an eye on them?

And when they start asking her questions about foreign policy, announces to the whole world that she's happy to invite EVERYONE to Bristol and Levi's shotgun wedding in a foreign country like Hawaii. Where the black Muslim Obama comes from. Now that Levi isn't doing hillbilly heroin anymore...or selling it. And it turns out that Bristol is expecting TWINS!!! Oh Happy Day!!!!

Wouldn't that make the American people go AWWWWWWWW? And forget EVERYTHING else.

And then there's Sarah's secret weapon. *Shudder*

Her little howitzer.

When Joe asks her a really hard question...like where Europe is.

Will she whip it out and BLOW it ?

Like she once did...



And turn Biden into a drunken Irishman dancing an Irish jig? Shouting Begorrah Begorrah...she's a Whorrah She's a Whorrah.

And win her the SYMPATHY vote.

You know in a country like Amerika where madness is now mainstream. Just like in a country like Canada where so many people don't care about OUR debate.

... a lot of people will be flipping back and forth - and some will be ignoring the more sedate Canadian version in favour of the U.S. tussle. And some voters say they'll just tune out completely.

Only 33 per cent will bother watching the English version. And just 11 per cent care enough to view both.

Even though it's arguably the most critical election in Canadian history.

I wouldn't be surprised.

If ANYTHING could happen...

6 comments:

Aunty Bertha said...

Oh man, that was bad. My ears are bleeding. *That* after 10 years of playing? Really? As a reformed flute player, I should have known better than to press play.

The thing that really stuck out for me was her smiles when she wasn't playing. Like she would suddenly remember that if she wasn't playing, she was supposed to smile. As a musician, I found it really weird and rather creepy.

At least Clinton was a better than average Sax player.

GAB

Anonymous said...

UMM THATS NOT BRISTOL!

WILLOW THE 14 YEAR OLD!!!

Brtistol isnt even there with them..

for those people thinkin BRISTOL is trigs mom..MAYBE willow is..LOOK at the pictures from the alaska gov. website and look at that girl now..

14 year olds dont just grow like that

catnip said...

"teenage slut"? Excuse me??

Simon said...

Hi Aunty Bertha !! Sorry for inflicting that video on a musician. But wasn't that smile a SCREAM?
Do you think she can get Poppy McCain to accompany her on the piano or the tambourine?
That would be EXCELLENT....:)

Simon said...

Hi Catnip...ooops sorry. I should have quoted the article directly and called her the "makeout queen" of Wasilla. Which I guess means she'll screw anyone ...but doesn't expect to get paid for it.
My boo boo....

Simon said...

Hi anonymous....thanks for the correction. OMG that's AWFUL!!!!
Don't tell me the poor little 14-year-old is also pregnant?
Is she the one having twins? Is Levi also the father? What's HAPPENING to Amerika?????!!!!!!
I don't dare look....