Kellie Leitch and the Redneck From Wasilla

If you see Kellie Leitch galloping past you screaming hysterically, don't panic.

She's not warning us about an American invasion, or warning us that Kevin O'Leary has left his home in Boston and coming after the job she craves so badly.

It's just her way of telling us how incredibly happy she is.

Donald Trump and the Republican Civil War

I've finally decided that I'm going to have to settle back comfortably in my hammock, take a deep breath, remind myself it's almost summer, and start enjoying the Donald Trump Show.

Like I would enjoy a Broadway musical.

Or go as crazy as the Americans.

Especially now that I'm pretty sure that Herr Hair Drumph will end up destroying the Republican Party.

Sarah Palin and the Con Redneck Road to Ruin

I haven't written a post about Sarah Palin, the redneck from Wasilla, for about eight years. 

Back when the one they called The Barracuda was running for Vice President of the United States.

Back in the days when people were taking her candidacy seriously.

And even Maureen Dowd was calling her My Fair Veep.

Sarah Palin and the Road to Oblivion

Glory Glory Hallelujah. I see that Sarah Palin is being pounded in the polls.

The latest CNN poll shows that 56 percent of Americans view her unfavorably.

More damaging, though, is this: Sarah Palin's unfavorable rating among women has gone up 10 points. And 59 percent of those all-important independent voters don't like her -- and that's up a stunning 14 points in just a few months.

Like those those halibut she hammered, in her bloodthirsty reality TV series.

Now even the crass cretin Newt Gingrich wants her to think before she opens her piehole. And David Frum wants to render her speechless.

Former Bush speechwriter David Frum went further. "She should stop talking now, really," he said.

Sort of like this I guess...



But fear not eh?

She may be gasping like a beached whale. They may have cancelled her reality TV show because she ran out of animals to kill. And she was so BORING.

But Glory Glory Hallelujah. Her shrinking base still loves her.

And her soul hole keeps marching on...



Sarah, Sarah, on a clear day you can see Russia. Or the road to OBLIVION.

She came. She almost conquered. She overstayed her welcome.

And now she's finally OVER...

Why Sarah Palin Deserves to be Arrested

Today was the day to remember the victims of the Tucson massacre. A day to remember the dead, and the wounded like Gabrielle Giffords, who are fighting for their lives.

But not for the foul redneck Sarah Palin.

For her today was the day to declare herself the victim-in-chief.



It was an ugly speech. There wasn't a trace of genuine sorrow in it. Just anger and self pity. Because it's always about Sarah.

You know that friend of yours for whom everything is always about them? Your dad is in the hospital and your cat just died and you lost your job, and yet she blows up at you because you forgot her birthday? Palin is that friend.

Even though it was obviously written for her, it made no sense.

She just doesn't get it. Doesn't understand that words have consequences. Or even that they have meaning.

It was tragic...and LAUGHABLE.

"When we say 'take up our arms,' we are talking about our vote."

The giant ego. The lizard brain.

The ignorant screeching demagogue who still doesn't understand that when she hastily took down this death map.

She might as well have pleaded GUILTY. The idiot.

I'm not saying that she drove Jared Loughner to open fire. But she will never be able to deny that she is largely responsible for having created an atmosphere of threatening violence, that has poisoned American politics.

Because let's face it eh?

This isn't democracy.

This is MADNESS.

And Sarah Palin was its midwife and its First Prophet. She was the one who accused Obama of being a terrorist, of palling around with the Weather Underground. She was the one who accused him of wanting to kill babies, sick people, the elderly and the disabled, with his healthcare "Death Panels."

She was the one who played to the paranoid fantasies of the old white racists who can't stand the idea of a black man in the White House. She was the one who urged her rabid followers to RELOAD. She was the one who put cross hairs on her opponents. She was the one the cameras followed.

How many other crazies are out there tonight I wonder? Staring at Palin's map. Licking her picture. And loading their weapons.

How much damage have Palin and all the other crazed right-wingers and American Taliban done to U.S. democracy?

How much horror is still to come?

Oh boy. Keep hoping for Gabrielle Giffords and all the other real victims of this tragedy.

Keep hoping that our neighbours can make their country a safer, saner, place.

Tell Palin she's not a victim. She's a political terrorist who deserves to be ARRESTED.

A dumb and dangerous right-wing demagogue.

Whose ugly show is finally OVER...

Recommend this post at Progressive Bloggers.

Sarah Palin and Bristol's Tragic Homecoming

Oh. My. Wazilla. Remind me never to write ANYTHING about Sarah Palin's family again. 

I just can't keep up with those rednecks. Just when I thought Bristol and Levi were about to ride off into the sunset, like Cinderella and Prince Charming ...in a pickup truck.

On the way to a brand new reality TV show 

The story hits another road bump.

It's over. I broke up with him"

Bristol told People that Johnston's second proposal was blighted from the start when he told her on the day they became re-engaged that he might have fathered a baby with another teenage girl.

"The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family," Bristol said. "He's just obsessed with the limelight and I got played."

Oh well. I guess that's life. It wasn't exactly Romeo and Juliet.

And at least Sarah was sympathetic...



You know I think I like that redneck Evita better when she pretends to be a good mother, instead of a serious politician.

But that's Amerika eh?

Some things you can refudiate, and some things you can't...

Levi Johnston and the Revenge of Sarah Palin

Almost a year ago, on another bleak afternoon, I wrote a post called Sarah Palin and the Revenge of Levi Johnston.

And to my surprise...and embarrassment.. it turned out to be one of my most popular posts EVER.

So today after this fairy tale ending.

 Mr. Johnston has also apologized recently for his war of words with the Palins, telling People magazine that he was angry after his breakup with Bristol and made comments about the family “that were not completely true.”

Some people suggested that I should apologize, and write another post and call it Levi Johnston and the Revenge of Sarah Palin. So I did. 

But now I don't  know.

I'm  confused.

"I hear he goes by the name Ricky Hollywood now. Some of the things that he's doing, it's kind of heartbreaking. I call that porn [Johnson's appearance in Playgirl magazine]."

Sarah Palin, interview with Oprah Winfrey, October 2009

Because surely running for President with a reality show star AND a porn star as a son-in-law can't be a good thing eh?

But then what do I know? If Glenn Beck, the recovering alcoholic and drug addict who believes that Obama want to lock up white people in concentration camps, can even THINK of running for Prez.

I suppose anybody can...



So yeah I apologize. I did speak too soon.

Golly. Poor Levi may be standing there in his underpants. Sarah Palin may be totally exposed.

But we dodged the BIG ONE...

Amerika. Amerika. If I didn't live next door. Help !!! Help !!!

I'd never believe it...

The Carrie Prejean and Sarah Palin Show

Well I see that Sarah Palin is outraged...and I mean OUTRAGED...about this Newsweek cover picture.

But of course I don't believe a word she says. I think she's just trying to compete with her bitter rival, the Christianist bigot Carrie "Booby" Prejean.

Because although both are out flogging bad books, Booby's book tour is definitely more entertaining.

And HAWTER...



And at least Little Miss Family Values is getting some one great reviews review.

Vivid Entertainment Group, the world's leading adult film studio, has obtained a copy of the notorious sex tape made by Carrie Prejean and is ready to make a deal with the former Miss California.

"The footage we saw is a series of very graphic and hot clips," Mr. Hirsch said. "Let's just say that she appears to be totally enthusiastic and is thoroughly enjoying herself. Carrie says the tape was 'the biggest mistake of my life.' That may be, but she can take this mistake and turn it into cold, hard cash.

While Sarah Palin's book is getting panned.... for not revealing enough. Even though she and Booby are so spookily similar.

Which no doubt explains why she would dress up in a pair of red hot pants, lean coyly on the American flag, and then accuse Newsweek of exploiting her.

But who can explain this horror?

Sarah Palin...the redneck from Wasilla... brought Andrew Sullivan's mighty blog to a crashing halt?

OMG. When the Mayans said the world would end in 2012 did they know the results of that year's Presidential election?

And did the CBC do this on purpose?

A CBC spokesman confirmed that the network mistakenly put up a graphic depicting the cover of "Going Rouge: Sarah Palin An American Nightmare."

Because you really can't remind people enough. Booby the bigot is just a Christianist wanker. And her 15 minutes of exposure...bzzzzzzzzz...are hopefully OVER.

But Sarah Palin isn't just a rogue redneck.

She's an American nightmare who could tear that country apart.

And she can't be exposed enough...

Sarah Palin Goes After Levi Johnston

Uh oh. I knew this Alaskan rube tale was going to end badly.

The redneck Evita is going after the redneck daddy....for calling her a bad mummy.

And for shamelessly selling his body...to Playgirl.

"Those who would sell their body for money reflect a desperate need for attention and are likely to say and do anything for even more attention.”

Hmmm. Well she should know eh?

Because she's been selling herself like a ghastly right wing hooker for what seems like FOREVER.

And if I had to choose between one publicity whore or the other I think I'd choose Levi.

Because at least he's trying to be classy.

“I’m not gonna just go out there and get naked,” he said.

And because at least he is who he is...and he isn't telling anybody what to do. Just working out in the gym...and probably hanging weights from his you know what...to try to make as good big an impression as possible .

While the klown hooker Sarah thinks she's Evita of the Rednecks....or Jesus of Alaska.

And that she was born to save Amerika...from ITSELF.

When she's not feeling too greedy.

Sarah was sad for a while. She walked around the house pouting. I had assumed she was going to go back to her job as governor, but a week or two after she got back she started talking about how nice it would be to quit and write a book or do a show and make “triple the money.” It was, to her, “not as hard.” She would blatantly say, “I want to just take this money and quit being governor.”

And besides who is calling WHO a liar?



OMG. Keep her away from guns, meth.... and Levi.

And just be glad she's not in the White House...

Sarah Palin and the Revenge of Levi Johnston

I must admit I have always had a soft spot for Levi Johnston. He seemed to be the most human of the Palin Bunch.

And who knew a baby redneck could be such a good daddy?

But now I like him even more.

For exposing Sarah Palin as a greedy loser.

Sarah was sad for a while. She walked around the house pouting. I had assumed she was going to go back to her job as governor, but a week or two after she got back she started talking about how nice it would be to quit and write a book or do a show and make “triple the money.” It was, to her, “not as hard.” She would blatantly say, “I want to just take this money and quit being governor.”

And a hypocrite.

After Tripp was born, Sarah would pay more attention to our son than she would to her own baby, Trig. Sarah has a weird sense of humor. When she came home from work, Bristol and I would be holding Trig and Tripp. Sarah would call Trig--who was born with Down syndrome--"my little Down's baby." But I couldn't believe it when she would come over and sometimes say, playing around, "No, I don't want the retarded baby--I want the other one," and pick up Tripp. That was just her--even her kids were used to it.

Nice eh?

And talk about the revenge of the redneck. She forced Levi to cut his mullet for this absurd photo-op.














And now he's cutting her down to size. Taking off his suit.

And planning to strip for Playgirl.

Hmmm...... you know I still can't quite believe that if the Republicans had won, and Poppy McCain had keeled over, this gang could have been running wild in the White House

Hee Haw. Gimme my mullet !!!!! No take the retarded baby !!!!! I told you not to do meth in the Lincoln bedroom !!!! Jesus Jesus tell me what to to do....should I bomb North Korea...or Russia ???

Golly. Poor Levi may be standing there in his underpants. Sarah Palin may be totally exposed.

But we dodged the BIG ONE...

William Shatner Does Sarah Palin

Most people know Sarah Palin as the redneck from Wasilla. Who left Alaska in the lurch.

So she could become a professional tweeter.

But did you know she was a poet?



Gawd. Who knew she had talent?

Now go tweet that one tweetie.

Muahahaha...

Secret Service Blames Palin for Death Threats

She provided some of the best laughs of the election campaign.

But in the end of course it wasn't funny.

The Secret Service warned the Obama family in mid October that they had seen a dramatic increase in the number of threats against the Democratic candidate, coinciding with Mrs Palin's attacks.

"Two plots to assassinate Obama were broken up during the campaign season, and several more remain under investigation. We would expect federal authorities to uncover many more plots to attack the president that have been hatched by white supremacist ideologues."

If anything ever happens to Obama, she should be arrested as an ACCOMPLICE.

Now she's back in Alaska ...you don't think a polar bear could eat her do you?

Wouldn't that be nice?

The Palin Prank and the Grateful World

I knew this Palin prank was going to be devastating. But I could never have imagined how humungous it was going to be.

It's gone global. It's exploding on the inter tubes. It's the story EVERYONE is talking and laughing about.

For many Americans it's the last straw.

This does it. This is the last straw. If there were still a scintilla of a possibility that Sarah Palin is qualified to be Vice-President or, should the need arise, President of the United States, it’s now vanished.

Others have been comparing its impact to the Kathy Couric interview.

Sarah Palin got punked by the Canadian comedy duo known as the Les Justiciers Masques (the Masked Avengers) and, given the way the McCain campaign has controlled access to Palin, the prank feels like just plain good journalism -- almost as good as the real thing delivered by Katie Couric last month.

And then there are the comments:

Canada, this was PRICELESS...thank you....God bless you all !!! Let the real vetting continue.

I love Canada.

I welcome our new Canadian overlords.

OMG. We haven't been recognized like that FOREVER. What an unexpected boost to our low self esteem. I can't quite believe it. Despite having voted in a third-rate neocon government at a time of economic crisis, the whole grateful world thinks we're BRILLIANT !!!

So let's not blow it now. Eh?

They MUST not know we are not worthy. I'm counting on you English Canada....especially you Alberta.

When they call up to congratulate us, and start asking embarrassing questions.

Tell them we're ALL Québécois....

The Palin Prank and the Christianist Invasion

As the Republicans gather in the Last Chance Saloon. And wonder what to order. A hard cheese sandwich. A stale mooseburger. Or a coffee with extra cyanide.

And Sarah Palin gets what's left of her foreign policy served to her on a baguette.

Yes, yes, I understand we have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France. It's called Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit.

The Christianist hordes Evita Palin unleashed, are descending on San Diego to try to influence the election and ban gay marriage..... by praying and FASTING.

Golly. Can you imagine FASTING? In Amerika? That's practically heresy. And how come nobody told Jerry Falwell? When he hit the ground for the last time it registered about six on the Richter scale.

I mean Jesus in a Cheeseburger can The Abyss be far off ? Can you have a good Rapture when you're HUNGRY?

Or is it just fascism?


Hmmm....if that's not fascism it's dangerous INSANITY.

But don't worry the gay people of California and their straight friends are fighting back with ads like this one.


OK OK so it doesn't have the budget of The Call to Deliver the Homosexual. And it isn't particularly original.

But talk about the difference between darkness and light.

The Christianist hatemongers are right to call it a war.

Except that they are the darkness.

And we are the LIGHT....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S. What is it with these Quebecers? First they save us from a Harper majority, now they put the final nail in Palin's coffin.

Who do they think they are? The Hammer of the Cons? Why are we always saying thank you?

Merci. Merci. Merci....

Is Sarah Palin Running a Rogue Campaign?

Well I see that Sarah Palin has decided the time has come to cut her ties to John McCain's sinking campaign...and save herself.

As the 2008 U.S. presidential campaign enters its final week, reports are bubbling up about internal strife within the Republican ticket that suggest vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin is trying to distance herself from the top of the ticket, John McCain.

“She’s lost confidence in most of the people on the plane,” said a senior Republican who speaks to Palin, referring to her campaign jet. He said Palin had begun to “go rogue” in some of her public pronouncements and decisions.

Even though poor old Poppy is still trying to defend his choice as a "cold political calculation" to counter those nasty liberal feminists.



Which to me means that McCain is either crazy or senile. Or a nasty old misogynist. Or just a LIAR.

And that Sarah Palin obviously feels she has a bright future in the Republican Party. Just like this guy thinks she does..

Palin is clearly OF the conservative base in a real and meaningful way; they view her as their first real spokesperson on the national stage in recent memory -- perhaps since Ronald Reagan. It's hard to imagine those feelings going away because she has not worn well with either moderate and independent minded voters of the conservative media.

Which might seem to be a SCARY thing. I saw a picture of a redneck the other day wearing a t-shirt with this on it: "Nigger, please. It's the White House." And there are millions of them out there.

On the other hand it could be the BEST thing that ever happened. Because if Sarah Palin becomes the Evita of the rednecks and the Christianist hordes she will split the Republicans, drive moderates out of the party, and keep them out of power for a GENERATION.

She'll be John McCain's little FrankenSarah who not only destroyed his campaign. She ATE the Republican Party. Gobble. Gobble.

And to think that I once wondered whether she was the Anti-Christ.

Don't you LOVE happy endings?

Muahahahaha....

------------------------------------------------------------

P.S. Unless of course John McCain wins the election. In which case she's fucked.

And we're DOOMED...

Palin,The Terminator, and the Christianists

Well I suppose it had to come to this.The Republicans are so DESPERATE they had to call in The Terminator to say something nice about Sarah Palin.

Because she's KILLING THEM

It may yet turn out differently, but at this stage in the campaign for the White House it appears that if John McCain loses in November the turning point will not be the financial crisis hitting in late September but his choice of Sarah Palin as his veep in late August.

Two new national polls show that voters cite that choice as the main reason they have turned from McCain.

But all Arnold could bring himself to say was that Palin is a "quick learner".....and she'll be ready "some day."

Which means I suppose that John McCain is just about TOAST. Unless God can convince a lot of Americans to vote for him.

Like this Christianist..



Hmmm...I'd love to call that lady up and tell her that Sarah Palin is the Anti-Christ. And the reason I KNOW that is because Jesus told me PERSONALLY.

Hallelujah!!!!

But before you laugh...just remember it's Amerika.

There are MILLIONS of them. And in country full of frightened, angry people...where God gets to vote.

ANYTHING could happen.

So I'd just like to address the youth of America tonight, from the relative safety of my reinforced igloo, and tell them that in 13 days they will face a TERRIBLE choice.

Between The Messiah and the Anti-Christ.

Or to put it in even starker terms......this song:



And this one:



And I think you know which song we Canadians prefer.

So for fuck sake make sure you register and VOTE. Eh?

Thanks....

When You Open Pandora's Box....

....it's sometimes really hard to stuff the demons back in the box again.



Especially when you keep running ads like this one.


And forget the lessons of history.

Once he was THE MESSIAH. Remember?



Now he's the Terrorist Anti-Christ. And some Americans are AFRAID of him.

Once I used to laugh at Sarah Palin and her Christianist demons. Now I'm afraid of what of what real demons she might unleash.

I keep having this horrible nightmare.

The demons of ignorance, fear, and hate are loose in Amerika.

And ANYTHING could happen....

From the Theatre of the Absurd...

Don Martin discovers that Stephen Harper has a secret weapon.

"I use my mother as an obvious example because she is the person closest to me most worried about the stock market these days. Believe me, I get quicker updates from her on the stock market than from the department of finance."

Oh really? If you believe that then I'm sure you'll believe this guy.

Meanwhile in the United States ..... the McCain/Palin ticket tries to portray Obama as not American enough to be President. And one out of three white voters believe it.

Polling by the Pew Research Center last month reveals that only 63% of white voters say Obama is patriotic. (That's 32 points fewer than McCain, and 13 points fewer than Hillary Clinton got among all voters in March.) When asked by Pew in May what they dislike about McCain, the overwhelming majority of respondents cited his political views. In Obama's case, however, nearly a third also mentioned "the kind of person he is."

While Andrew Sullivan wonders what would happen if Poppy McCain was flying the United States when he suddenly croaked.

And Sarah Palin was Karen Black....


Only to have a reader set him straight.

While I just wish that if Poppy is going to croak he does it BEFORE the election.












So the rednecks and the white trash that support him can go back to fucking their pigs.

And Sarah Palin can go skating.

Had enough? I don't blame you.

We may have a Mummy Boy as Prime Minister. But at least he's going to get his ass wiped. MOMMMMMMMY I'M DOOOOONE !!!!!

While in the United States of Amerika madness runs wild

And ANYTHING could happen...

Sarah Palin, the Rednecks, and the Skater

You know when I read that John McCain and Sarah Palin are now so desperate they're crawling around on all fours grunting slurs at Obama. Accusing him of hanging out with terrorists and suggesting that he might be one himself.

"We've all heard what he's said. But it's less clear what he's done, or what he will do," McCain told supporters in the battleground state of Pennsylvania.

McCain's remarks about Obama were interrupted with shouts of "socialist," "terrorist" and "liar."

And for the second time in three days, a speaker at a Republican rally invoked Obama's middle name, Hussein, in an apparent attempt to feed lingering fears about the Democrat's background.

And I see how they are riling up the white trash ......or the drunk rednecks.



I can't help dreaming about that cold day in February when John McCain is standing on a street corner with a tin cup, looking for a lobbyist. Or a new job

And Sarah Palin is back in Alaska, asking Jebesus what went wrong, playing the flute, helping to breast feed her children's many children, being prosecuted for her role in Troopergate. Or just skating around and around a small pond.

Like Melanie...



You know considering the state of America. And considering what she's done to demean and degrade the democratic process.

Being blamed for the downfall of the Neocon Empire.

Just doesn't seem punishment enough....

Does Sarah Palin have a Secret Weapon?

Golly. I just saw Sarah Palin arriving in St Louis for her big debate with Joe Biden, waving her poor little baby like a flag. With her teenage slut Bristol dressed in a special dress that makes her look even MORE pregnant.

So now I'm starting to get worried. Could the redneck from Wasilla snatch victory from the jaws of a dead polar bear?

Because I know she's been practicing REALLY hard. Her Republican operatives have been prepping her up the kazoo at their sinister debate camp.

But what if she asks if her family can join her on stage during the debate...so she can keep an eye on them?

And when they start asking her questions about foreign policy, announces to the whole world that she's happy to invite EVERYONE to Bristol and Levi's shotgun wedding in a foreign country like Hawaii. Where the black Muslim Obama comes from. Now that Levi isn't doing hillbilly heroin anymore...or selling it. And it turns out that Bristol is expecting TWINS!!! Oh Happy Day!!!!

Wouldn't that make the American people go AWWWWWWWW? And forget EVERYTHING else.

And then there's Sarah's secret weapon. *Shudder*

Her little howitzer.

When Joe asks her a really hard question...like where Europe is.

Will she whip it out and BLOW it ?

Like she once did...



And turn Biden into a drunken Irishman dancing an Irish jig? Shouting Begorrah Begorrah...she's a Whorrah She's a Whorrah.

And win her the SYMPATHY vote.

You know in a country like Amerika where madness is now mainstream. Just like in a country like Canada where so many people don't care about OUR debate.

... a lot of people will be flipping back and forth - and some will be ignoring the more sedate Canadian version in favour of the U.S. tussle. And some voters say they'll just tune out completely.

Only 33 per cent will bother watching the English version. And just 11 per cent care enough to view both.

Even though it's arguably the most critical election in Canadian history.

I wouldn't be surprised.

If ANYTHING could happen...