I haven't written a post about Sarah Palin, the redneck from Wasilla, for about eight years. Back when the one they called The Barracuda was running for Vice President of the United States. Back in the days when people were taking her candidacy seriously. And even Maureen Dowd was calling her My Fair Veep.
If it wasn't Michelle Rempel, the Con clown whose burning ambition far exceeds her limited capabilities, I never would have believed it. But at a time when Rachel Notley, the very decent premier of Alberta, has been receiving vicious death threats. At a time when the rednecks in that province have been having themselves a hatefest, claiming the NDP i.e. the commies, are trying to destroy or KILL family farms. When they're not. There is the wretched Rempel pouring more gasoline on the flames.
When Rachel Notley was elected Premier of Alberta I thought it was a shining moment for that province. I thought she would be able to make Alberta more than a one-party petrostate, the land of the Con zombies, and the home of the Harperites. And would finally end its reputation as a haven for religious bigots and violent rednecks. But sadly that shining picture has darkened, and now some of those rednecks are threatening to assassinate her.
I haven't written anything on this blog about the controversy over whether the confederate flag should be banned, like the one flying outside the South Carolina legislature, for two reasons: One, the racism and the gun violence of America makes me sick to my stomach. And two, I made my feelings pretty clear on Twitter.
For seven years they held their tongues, so as not to scare Canadians. For seven years Stephen Harper was able to muzzle them, or force them to make sheep sounds. BAAAAAAAAAAA !!!! But now it's finally happened. The dam has broken. The old Reform gang is revolting !!!!.
It's hard to imagine a more horrible or absurd sight, than Great Black Hat Leader at the Redneck Rodeo.
Posing as a pretty Brokeback cowboy, pursued by a posse of horny passionate admirers. But sounding like a rabid Alberta separatist.
"I think if the founders could be here today and see the great city, see what has built up around this event, they would be amazed. They would be amazed to see that their Stampede has been part of giving birth to the greatest city and the greatest country in the world," said Harper just before the parade began.
As you know, I spend a lot of time trying to improve Canada's image abroad. And that's not always easy eh? Hey you !!! Gimme a beer !!! Or I'll brain ya with my hockey stick, or club ya like a seal. In my igloo.
But now it's even HARDER.
Because now, thanks to the Cons, most of the civilized world regards us as planet burners, human rights abusers, and American stooges. The sinister political thug Stephen Harper is about as welcome in polite company as syphilis is at an orgy.
But he doesn't care because he's living in a bitter nerd's paranoid fantasy world...
Only God-zilla tells him what to do. Ignorance is strength.
And of course rednecks RULE...
I try to explain to my friends all over the world that we're not ALL rednecks eh?
And that some of us think that King Pinko, Canada's Sarah Palin, is a teabagger.
I thought I had said all I ever wanted to say about Don Cherry. But lately, the man has morphed into Glenn Beck in sequins, out to prove that he who shouts loudest is always right. It's always the same thing: the rage, the name-calling, the complete absence of reason.
Who deserves to get the BOOT
The worst thing our national, taxpayer-supported network ever did, by far, was to allow itself to be taken hostage by Don Cherry. It's time for the network to show some spine and say "enough." Politics or hockey commentary, but not both.
The worst thing was that I recognized Cherry’s pink blazer. I had the same one in the 1980s. Mine was single-breasted and had bigger shoulder pads, but there were the same glazed flowers and the same dopey this-outfit-doesn’t-work brassiness.
Then I imagined myself at age 75 disgracing old women everywhere with my thoughts floating about like cigarette ash and landing in my beer puddles, all sticky and nasty and mean.
But then just when I think I'm convincing the world that we're NOT all rednecks. That we're a sophisticated society. That Justin Bieber is the most popular Canadian NOT Don Cherry. That Stephen Harper is only dangerous when there's a full moon. And we say ABOUT not ABOOT !!!!!
Just when I think I'm making some progress eh?
I'm NOT...
*Groan* Thanks a lot Alberta.
Oh boy. Some things are definitely true. Don Cherry is an asshole, Stephen Harper is a maniac. And both of them are PHONIES.
But some days you win, and some days you CAN'T....
Oh. My. Wazilla. Remind me never to write ANYTHING about Sarah Palin's family again.
I just can't keep up with those rednecks. Just when I thought Bristol and Levi were about to ride off into the sunset, like Cinderella and Prince Charming ...in a pickup truck.
Bristol told People that Johnston's second proposal was blighted from the start when he told her on the day they became re-engaged that he might have fathered a baby with another teenage girl.
"The final straw was him flying to Hollywood for what he told me was to see some hunting show but come to find out it was that music video mocking my family," Bristol said. "He's just obsessed with the limelight and I got played."
Oh well. I guess that's life. It wasn't exactly Romeo and Juliet.
And at least Sarah was sympathetic...
You know I think I like that redneck Evita better when she pretends to be a good mother, instead of a serious politician.
But that's Amerika eh?
Some things you can refudiate, and some things you can't...
Remember how I was complaining about the heat yesterday? And how I have no time for blogging because I'm being forced to spend so much time at the beach?
Just like my poor doggy.
Well I have to admit that after I read this story.
I felt a whole lot better.
But that reminds me of something else. You know how I like to tell the Canadian teabaggers who hate the gun registry, Big Govinment, and immigrants that they should move to Alberta...or Alabama?
Well it turns out I was at least half right...
Hee Haw. Hee Haw. So should they move to Alabama or Alberta?
Or would they prefer Arizona?
Hmmmm...come for the barren wasteland stay for the hospitality? So is it Alberta, Alabama, or Arizona?
Most people know Sarah Palin as the redneck from Wasilla. Who left Alaska in the lurch. So she could become a professional tweeter. But did you know she was a poet?
Gawd. Who knew she had talent? Now go tweet that one tweetie.
I don't know if it's because they need to get them off the streets...or because they're so DUMB. But it seems the Cons are going back to skool one month early.
Federal Conservatives will gather in Ottawa Monday for training sessions as party officials prepare for the possibility of a fall election
Monday's meetings are mostly for campaign volunteers and staff, although candidates and current caucus members are also invited to attend. Those in attendance will learn how to deal with social media, fundraising, journalists and direct-mail.
Lordy. Poor Ottawa. What's to become of our capital village? All those old white guys with cowboy hats. All those piggies in the bars. All those nasty nerds trying to make friends on facebook. The horror...the HORROR. And since just about NOBODY is thinking of a fall election, what are they going to teach those Con oinkers anyway? Iggy is a traitor? The Bloc loves pedophiles? Cancer isn't sexy? Sick people are NOT cold cuts? Who needs medical isotopes when dead people don't talk? Faggots are gay people until we get a majority? Women STILL have rights...for now? Or will they just teach them that unemployment wouldn't be a problem. If the unemployed weren't too lazy to work? And of course the Golden Rule. Obedience is a porky virtue. Never say or write anything before clearing it with the PMO. Great Geenyous Leader is never wrong...even when he is. And anybody who even doubts that, better get down on their knees and kiss his fat ass. Before he bites their heads off.
Golly.That IS a lot of things to learn. I wonder if those Con oinkers can handle it? I wonder if between the squealing and the hee haws there will be any quiet time left. So that an old Con can lecture them on why it's not a good idea to sellout the country? In the current circumstances, it is incumbent upon the government to exercise its leadership in seeking a resolution that is in the national interest, and that includes using all the tools at its disposal to ensure Nortel and RIM thoroughly explore all options. Hmmmm. Somehow I doubt it. Because these wretched porkers aren't just dumbing down our country or shitting on it. They're selling it off from under OUR feet ....and their trotters. Which reminds me. Will John Baird teach them how to scream during question period?
Or will he teach them how to DANCE?
Because SOMEBODY in that crowd of homophobic hee haws has GOTTA be the life of the party. Oh boy. What more can I say except oinky boinky doodle? Something tells me this Con Skool is going to be an epic FAIL. But it should be really amusing...
When I look at the video of those three redneck bigots attacking a black man in British Columbia, I feel almost dizzy with anger. I have to take deep breaths to clear away the red haze, and the bloody memory of so many fights. Because when those miserable bully cowards shout "nigger" I hear "faggot." And I want to fight them all over again. But what makes me even angrier is why the police are taking so long to declare this assault a hate crime. RCMP Const. Tammy Douglas said there are indications the attack was racially motivated and the Mounties have asked their hate crime team to look into it.
It is, however, being treated as an isolated incident and will not be labelled a hate crime until all the evidence is in. Because what the fuck else could this be?
When they attack you for who you are....whether you are black, gay, Jewish, Muslim, Asian or whatever.... it's a HATE crime. Period. And if the cops can't see that they're either blind or ignorant. Like Courtenay's idiot Mayor. As the shock waves continued to reverberate over a race-based assault in Courtenay, B.C., last Friday night, Mayor Greg Phelps defended his council's refusal to join the community's latest anti-discrimination efforts. “We were told it's just a feel-good document, and I have trouble signing a feel-good document.” The good news? Jay Phillips handled himself BRILLIANTLY. Phillips suffered cuts and bruised ribs when the trio got him to the ground.
But his background in mixed martial arts made him more than a match for his attackers. You know after taking martial arts for 14 years, and with my degree from the Glasgow School of Street Fighting, I probably would have done a few things differently. But he really SHOWED them anyway. Made them look like circus klowns riding away in that pickup. But here's the thing, if he didn't know how to fight he might now be DEAD. And a hate crime is a hate crime is a hate crime.
"I'm nobody's slave. That's a hate crime to me and I want these guys prosecuted to the maximum."
You said it brother. Throw the book at those cowardly racist bully bigots. Make an example out of them. *Bows* Well done Jay...
You know when I read a post like this one. And I see that the Con redneck Randy Hillier, who wants to kill bear cubs AND the Human Rights Commission, is copying a Ronald Reagan ad.
And I see this photo of another Con in Ottawa...
I can't help but wonder if these Cons even realize this is Canada not Bush's or Reagan's Amerika. Because everything about them... from their sinister ideology to their filthy attack ads to the way they dress... is Made in the USA.
I know they're racists, I know they want to criminalize abortion, I know they want to hurt gay people and take away all their rights. I know they want to kill medicare and the CBC. I know that Stephen Harper wants to fill our jails with kids in the name of the Great War on Drugs...just like George Bush did. But I mean really.... this is RIDICULOUS.
Isn't it time we gave these AmeriCons a compass so they can find their way to Alabama?
And sing the song they LOVE...
And these Harperites would dare challenge the patriotism of others?
Golly. It looks as if the redneck, racist Republicons have failed to ignite a nation-wide revolt against Black Hitler and his Communist plans to steal their guns....and read their minds. But at least it was a good K... K... Klown show. The day of "tea parties" pushed by Republican operatives and partisan advocacy groups such as FreedomWorks, that sought to protest the Obama government's tax and stimulus policies by encouraging people to 'wave tea bags' brought about only a few hundred "tea-baggers" in most parts of the U.S., despite relentless promotion by Fox News TV hosts.
Oh no. They set out to wave their bags and ended up biting them? Ouch. And don't you LOVE this?
A 68-year-old woman at the Sunbury Pennsylvania protest had to be rescued by police from the Susquehanna River when she inadvertently fell in while trying to dump tea bags in it.
Caramba. I hope she wasn't rescued by a black man. And then there's this dumbassitude:
According to reports, organizers of the D.C. event were told by National Park Service officials that the "million tea bags" they had hauled in on the back of a pickup would have to be taken away, rather than be dumped as planned. They reportedly complied with the request after realizing they didn't have the correct protest permit.
The Competitive Enterprise Institute, a local think tank, offered to provide its 12th floor board room as an alternate venue to dump the tea bags.
That'll teach them to get dumb rednecks to fill up a pickup AND fill out a permit. And what the fuck is the Competitive Enterprise Institute? Oh right.
Which just about tells you all you need to know about this so-called "grass roots protest."
Together with this ugly photograph...
In short: A bunch of white old people and rednecks got together and tried to start a revolution...to drive the Fascist/Communist nigger out of the White House. And stop the fags from stealing their children etc etc...
And were used like dish rags by a bunch of rich people and companies that don't want to pay taxes.
But since the RepubliCons are now just a rump, and their failed Bush policies are rotting in the recession graveyard, nobody really cares what these tea-baggers do or say. So all they ended up doing was making us LAUGH. And proving that you can't talk and tea bag. Today it's the RepubliCons, tomorrow it will be Stephen Harper's ReformCons...the last of the Bush stooges. The Cons may make excellent K....K....Klowns. But with enemies as dumb and as krazy as that.... How can we LOSE?
She provided some of the best laughs of the election campaign. But in the end of course it wasn't funny. The Secret Service warned the Obama family in mid October that they had seen a dramatic increase in the number of threats against the Democratic candidate, coinciding with Mrs Palin's attacks. "Two plots to assassinate Obama were broken up during the campaign season, and several more remain under investigation. We would expect federal authorities to uncover many more plots to attack the president that have been hatched by white supremacist ideologues."
If anything ever happens to Obama, she should be arrested as an ACCOMPLICE. Now she's back in Alaska ...you don't think a polar bear could eat her do you? Wouldn't that be nice?
Remember how all those religious fanatics and other crazy people were wailing about how electing the black, terrorist, Anti-Christ Obama would mean the end of the world? The end of EVERYTHING? Well blow me like a feather. It turns out they were right !!!! The New Order is NOW....
Hey BIGOT. Report for your dashiki fitting tomorrow. And before you bring your daughter in, make sure you get an Afro as well. So you can balance a Dr Pepper bottle on your head, while doing the Boogy Woogy. And we can take turns trying to shoot it off...with YOUR gun.
Gosh that reminds me...do you think those racist rednecks are still sitting in their outhouses with their shotguns on their laps?
Do you think this video could scare the shit out of them?
You know when I read that John McCain and Sarah Palin are now so desperate they're crawling around on all fours grunting slurs at Obama. Accusing him of hanging out with terrorists and suggesting that he might be one himself. "We've all heard what he's said. But it's less clear what he's done, or what he will do," McCain told supporters in the battleground state of Pennsylvania.
McCain's remarks about Obama were interrupted with shouts of "socialist," "terrorist" and "liar." And for the second time in three days, a speaker at a Republican rally invoked Obama's middle name, Hussein, in an apparent attempt to feed lingering fears about the Democrat's background. And I see how they are riling up the white trash ......or the drunk rednecks.
I can't help dreaming about that cold day in February when John McCain is standing on a street corner with a tin cup, looking for a lobbyist. Or a new job
And Sarah Palin is back in Alaska, asking Jebesus what went wrong, playing the flute, helping to breast feed her children's many children, being prosecuted for her role in Troopergate. Or just skating around and around a small pond. Like Melanie...
You know considering the state of America. And considering what she's done to demean and degrade the democratic process. Being blamed for the downfall of the Neocon Empire. Just doesn't seem punishment enough....
