Wednesday, October 08, 2008

John McCain: Colonel Kurtz or Hound Dog?

I must admit I wasn't able to watch much of the Obama-McCain Town Hall tonight. It was just too boring. And too SCARY.

Just the thought that little old hobbit hopping around that stage blubbering my friends my friends in that creepy voice ....or grinning maniacally....might be President of the United States gave me the SHIVERS.

The horror...the horror...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Scary eh? But never mind the Colonel Kurtz number. I just wish Johnny McCain would stop calling himself moral. Because he isn't.

Forget the nepotism, the lobbyists, and his volcanic temper.

At least three of McCain's GOP colleagues have gone on record to say that they consider him temperamentally unsuited to be commander in chief. Smith, the former senator from New Hampshire, has said that McCain's "temper would place this country at risk in international affairs, and the world perhaps in danger. In my mind, it should disqualify him." Sen. Domenici of New Mexico has said he doesn't "want this guy anywhere near a trigger." And Sen. Thad Cochran of Mississippi weighed in that "the thought of his being president sends a cold chill down my spine. He is erratic. He is hotheaded."

He's not just a dangerous chickenhawk he's a horny HOUND DOG !!

"I enjoyed the off-duty life of a Navy flier more than I enjoyed the actual flying," McCain writes. "I drove a Corvette, dated a lot, spent all my free hours at bars and beach parties." McCain chased a lot of tail. He hit the dog track. Developed a taste for poker and dice. He picked up models when he could, screwed a stripper when he couldn't.

With a close friend at the base, an alcoholic Marine captain, McCain formed the "Key Fess Yacht Club," which quickly became infamous for hosting toga parties in the officers' quarters and bringing bands down from Memphis to attract loose women to the base. Showing his usual knack for promotion, McCain rose from "vice commodore" to "commodore" of the club.

Whatever his dreams of getting laid in Rio, he got plenty of ass during his command post in Jacksonville. According to biographer Robert Timberg, McCain seduced his conquests on off-duty cross-country flights — even though adultery is a court-martial offense. He was also rumored to be romantically involved with a number of his subordinates.

You know once I thought he was just senile.

But now I'm wondering whether it's SYPHILIS.

President a toga.

The horror, the horror..


P.S. The good news? Sarah Palin's new video is now available.

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