Wednesday, October 08, 2008

My Close Encounter With Stephen Harper

Oh boy what a day. When I poked my head out of my island tree house there was a foul stench in the air.

Then when walked to work I noticed it was coming from the golden towers of Bay Street. So I figured it had to be all those brokers shitting their pants watching their stocks go down the toilet.

But it turns out it was just Great Ugly , Angry , Nice , Pretty , Economic Helmsman Leader peddling his stinky RepubliCon platform at the Canadian Club.

And suggesting that this might be a good time to buy stocks.

While confessing he's not "an emotionally expressive guy", the former economist then proved his disconnect by suggested Canadians consider the market as a stock-buying opportunity. A buying opportunity? Where, pray tell, will the average person find the money to roll the dice in this wildly fluctuating stock market when their jobs might be at risk?

Gawd. When even the National Beast says he's a cold heartless bastard, you KNOW the Harper Party is in trouble.

But then what do you expect him to say? What's an old neocon to do?

First he goes on a wild vote-buying binge and wipes out a $12 billion dollar surplus. Then he goes to the Canadian Club and promises to cut taxes so government has even less money. So when a recession causes massive suffering he can use that as an excuse to cut even more government services. Which is what he wanted to do in the first place. It's in his genes.

Just like it's in my genes to want to give him the one-finger salute when I saw his motorcade heading down the street.

But I didn't dare to because with all the Banana Republic security around I was afraid I might be ARRESTED. Is he the Prime Minister of Canada or El Presidente?

Anyway, as if that close encounter with Stephen Harper wasn't horrible enough when I got home MORE aggravation

Despite this sign on the gate.

The Con candidate in my riding had left some ghastly propaganda pamphlet on my DOORSTEP !!!!

So much for my Killer lab....

*Sigh* Trying to make him act mean is like trying to make Stephen Harper act nice i.e. IMPOSSIBLE

Anyway in the end I did manage to turn adversity into triumph. We may not be able to flush this absurd tyrant down the toilet of history for another week.

But in the meantime, as my Scottish granny used to say.

Waste not want not...


Anonymous said...

I got myself chased off of Sheridan Property waiting about to jeer der F├╝hrer, oh well I don't have the money for bale anyway.

I could not help but notice the Conservative Bus left Idling behind the Sheridan for more than a hour. Bastards.

Scott in Montreal said...

I love the sign on your door! But take heart... Dion's got his mojo back. I daresay Peevey Stevie might yet have it in him to tank by Tuesday.

Hey, that's a great new Tory campaign slogan:

Tank by Tuesday!!

Simon said...

Hi Green Assassin. Well I'm not surprised. I can't believe the level of authoritarianism that we're accepting like it was NORMAL in a democratic society. Huh? On my gloomier days I can't help feel like we're sleepwalking our way to fascism. As for the Conservative bus I'm not surprised. These smelly oil pimp Cons leave stink trails wherever they go...

Simon said...

Hey Scott I LOVE it !!! The sight of Great Porker Leader sinking in the polls is practically giving me a woody. And I hate to imagine what might happen if I saw him melting like the Wicked Witch of the West. Except that I'm the kind of guy who always thinks something is too good to be true.So I'm holding my breath until it's over... :)

Anonymous said...

Those vans don't look War on Terrorism-approved. Maybe the RCMP is treating him as the ex already :-)