Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Why I Won't be Calling in Gay Today
















Oh no. I've been so busy fighting Stephen Harper's attempts to turn Canada into a fascist state, I completely forgot that today is the day that I'm supposed to call in gay.

Now I think it's always great idea to show that gay people are EVERYWHERE.

And I really wish it would turn out like this:



But what if it didn't? What if it turned out like THIS?

Ring. Ring.

ME: Hello Boss it's me Simon !!!

THE BEAST: Yeah what do you want? Don't you DARE tell me you are going to be late ... AGAIN. Because two people phoned in sick and we're REALLY busy.

ME: Oh....well...um...you see boss I just want to phone in....um....GAY?

THE BEAST: You what ????? You want to phone in sick EH?

ME : No no boss ....I want to call in GAY. You know to show that gay people are EVERYWHERE.

THE BEAST: * heavy silence*.... OK.... OK....that's it you little shit disturber....you radical...you separatist...you commie slacker....you're FIRED !!!!!!!!!

Which is why although I hate to say it I think this a dum idea. Especially in a time of recession. Because there are better ways to accomplish the same purpose. Like coming out to your co-workers, instead of pulling a disappearing act, or getting fired. And helping gay organizations all year round...instead of just one day.

Then there's the other reason I won't be calling in gay today. I work in a place where a lot of people depend on me. I'm on a team that must deal with some pretty desperate situations. All my co-workers know I'm gay, and they treat me with respect. And we're always understaffed, so I could never let them down either.

As for my boss...well he's not really a beast. He's a really decent guy. Who just happens to be gay too. So if there was a conversation it would probably go like this:

MY BOSS: Hello Simon? I'm sorry to bother you, but as I'm sure you know today is Call in Gay Day, and I really really need to hear ....for the love of Baby Jesus or Judy Garland....that please please please you WON'T.

ME: Don't worry boss I'll be there EARLY. I'll just be talking gay a lot.

MY BOSS: OMG. You mean even MORE than usual. *Groan* See you later....

Good luck today kids. All ideas to try to get straight people to respect us more as human beings, and show them that we really are everywhere, are good.

It's just that some are better than others. The important thing is to keep trying and never give up.

Gawd. Never a dull moment.

Long live our beautiful cause !!!

11 comments:

  1. Thank goodness you haven't called in gay to blogging! I'd miss you! :-)

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  2. Can I call in straight, but in solidarity.

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  3. Thanks for this one - 's'pecially the video ! ! ! !

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  4. I had to take the subway to my brother's house today, so I failed from the get-go. Who else was going to play his Playstation 3 while he was at work?

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  5. Anonymous9:42 PM

    good laughs, simon, thanks.

    i guess i was a day early because yesterday the nice christian woman next to me in the rv park i'm stationed at was telling me about a man in their church who's undergoing huge issues because he's gay.

    i said, 'well no wonder, you told me your church is a 'free' church where it's 'each to his own' a la christian, but earlier you were telling me you hope he can find a way to convert to heterosexuality. i applaud this man and think you should encourage him to do the things he does like hair dressing, because i know from being a two spirit myself how it can be'.

    she then asked about two spirit and was quite interested....i told her how most gays are healers and threw in that Jesus probably could have gone either way.'.

    she said, solemnly, 'and what do you think Christ would think of your comments like that!'.

    i told her he'd probably laugh because strong healers have a sense of humour, it's a must, and he was a very strong healer.

    she fell silent. and i'm glad she did because maybe, just maybe she was getting a small inkling, a tiny speck of what i was saying.

    then later on the day ended :D

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  6. Hi Dr Prole...well calling in gay to work is hard enough...but calling up myself to say I won't be blogging because I want to show myself that gays are everywhere would be even more difficult... :)

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  7. Hi rww...absolutely...be my guest.
    Why should gay people be the only ones fired? :)

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  8. Hi West End Bob...hey you're welcome. The video was kind of cute, especially the questioning staples. But wait...when you say you specially liked the video that doesn't mean that you didn't like my priceless prose even MORE does it? :)

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  9. Hi woozie...OMG I'm shocked. First you miss the Proposition 8 rally, and now this. What's a matter don't you like getting fired????
    On the other hand, on the playstation front, that's what brothers are for eh? :)

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  10. Hi scout...I'm glad you found it funny. I must say I had a good laugh writing it. But then I always do, I find some of the things I write so hilarious, I'm sitting there in front of the computer with tears running down my face. Too bad so few others do *sigh* But does that make me an egomaniac or are they just fools? :)
    Thanks for your story it was a good day's work !!! I love the name two-spirited person...it's so PERFECT. We're all made from male and female...but most of us spend all of our lives just trying to be one or the other. I like to think I'm a good mix of male and female values and I'm PROUD of it.
    As to the battle between sex and religion when will they EVER learn?
    Score so far Sex: One Billion Trillion and counting. Religion: Zero...

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  11. you are genius in creating this conversation!!btw,gay are genius,lol

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