Friday, February 13, 2009

My Horrible Night With Kathy Shaidle

Golly. I'm so excited. I just heard that Kathy Shaidle is going to be on TV !!!!!

Oh I know that some progressive bloggers are understandably upset.

But you know the last time I saw Shittle on TV she was so unintentionally hilarious I practically shittled myself. So WTF?

8:01 pm: OMG it's started ....and there she is....*gasp*..... all tarted up like a drag version of Sunset Boulevard's Norma Desmond.

With a hooker's dress, a tacky pearl necklace....and a Daffy Duck delivery.













I'm weady for my close-up Mr Pwaikin....

8:04 pm: She's SPEAKING !!!! Something about somebody being dismembered by a chainsaw. Oh boy this could be EXCELLENT !!!!!

But wait who's he? And why is he interrupting her ?????













Oh God no. It's some wacky psychology professor who believes the atheist bus is a stunt, because humans aren't supposed to be happy, Stalin killed millions of people because he was an atheist, rational thought is dangerous, and snake handlers are intelligent. Huh? Whatever. How come nobody mentioned there were going to be OTHER guests?

8:12 pm The professor and all the other boring guests are yapping away about....um.... something. But it's been AGES since Shittle was on .....and she's looking PISSED.














And I'm furious too. After all the free publicity TVO got for having her on the show this is practically FRAUD. I feel like calling the CRTC ....or the Human Rights Commission... and filing a complaint.

8:20 pm She said something again.... and managed to work the "Islamic Threat" into her answer !!!! It was so short and my dog farted so loudly as she said it, I couldn't figure out what she was blabbing about. But it must have been REALLY bad because they're cleaning the camera lens.

Geezus. I should have warned them she spits like a cobra.

8:30 pm Oh this is bad.....I mean good. Now she's fixing her beady eyes on the progressive Christian...I think it's the Islamic-green dress she's wearing. Maybe she thinks she's a Muslim !!! Gosh I hate to get my hopes up. But Five Feet of Fecal Matter is looking awfully DANGEROUS...














8:31 pm Oh no. Steve Paikin got between her and the poor Christian....before she could strangle her with her pearl necklace. Or just bite her. Damn.

8:35 pm Gawd. How LONG is this program?

8:40 pm ZZZZZZZZZ..... if this borefest goes on any longer I'm going to scream. Or sue Scott Tribe for false promotion.

8:45 pm OMG. They let her speak again, and now she's calling Obama a MARXIST PROFESSOR !!! Uh oh. Paikin is looking nervous, fumbling for the taser in his pocket....and wondering whether to press the emergency button.

8:50 pm They haven't gone back to her again. It's like she's not even there. Like the hooker got the hook. ZZZZZZZZZZZ.....

8:57 pm It's ALMOST over. Whew. But Shittle is BACK !!!! Babbling something about how the Culture Wars are still raging in her head....along with the rest of her demons. But nobody is listening.... just trying to figure out how they're going to get out of the studio ALIVE...as soon as the lights go out.

And she knows it....














Knows that this was her big chance to fool people into thinking she was sane. And she BLEW it.

Just like I know she'll NEVER be invited back again. And some researcher at TVO is probably going to be fired for not updating the rolodex...and thinking Shittle was a Relapsed Catholic....instead of a racist homophobic MANIAC.

Oh yeah....as for the atheist bus. If the Christianists don't like it.....TOUGH.

Because after my horrible night with La Cucaracha...Our Lady of the Cockroaches... and all that religious horseshit.

This is MY bus......

27 comments:

JJ said...

Hahaha! Good one, Simon. That was quite the tempest in a teapot this morning. What we should have been doing is just what you did -- stay quiet, watch, point and laugh.

Well done!

Skinny Dipper said...

I thought this show was Style by Jury on the Women's Network. "Chadalle" thought she was going to be a jurist. Thankfully, for Style by Jury, she was not a contestant. She would have been the first contestant to be judged by two juries of her peers (oops, supeeriors) as going from bad to worse as the result of her makeover.

Dr.Dawg said...

Simon:

Damn, I missed the Muslim reference--I thought she'd missed her opening (9/11). Can you recall in what context her remark was made? It must have been en passant.

Mike said...

Simon,

Well done. I am sad to say I got caught up in the emotion yesterday, but I won't be dong that again. Shaidle should be on every night in order to be humiliated. Its a beautiful thing.

Zorpheous said...

I got the very distinct impression that after she opened her festering cake hole and yapped about Obama being a Marxist Prof, all the people in the discussion were wishing there was a kiddie table that they could banish her to so the asults could finish discussing the real issue in an intelligent manor.

Shiadle is a complete freaking moron and anyone who reads her and takes her seriously is even dumber.

Zorpheous said...

Oh her Muslim comment was in regards to how Secular countries like Sweden are now complete screwed because they have to deal with Muslims.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the hilarious commentary on the TVO show.

Simon said...

Hi JJ...thanks...you know I think TVO needs to have a good long discussion about this one...but if they are going to put this horrible racist on the air...the both of them are targets....

Simon said...

Hi Skinny Dipper...I don't know what that show was...and although I think Steve Paikin is pretty cool...I won't be watching it again.
BTW you don't know if Shaidle was once a nun do you? Just curious...

Simon said...

Hi Dr Dawg...sorry I was distracted. My b/f was tickling me trying to get me to change the channel. My dog was walking all over my notes looking for a stuffed toy he was convinced I had hidden...and my best friend was fixing his electric guitar in the living room. But I believe it had something to do about how in Scandinavia...first come the atheists and then "Radical Islam" takes over... I just had to laugh because if they had asked her a question about low hanging figs I'm sure she would have had the same answer.Gawd...

Simon said...

Hi Mike...actually I thought that you made a good point in your post.
Why would TVO invite Shaidle to talk about the atheist bus when she's obviously not a Christian?
It's like asking me to participate in a panel on vegetarianism when I'm a raging carnivore who doesn't give a shit whether people want to live on tofu...:)
Considering that, and the fact that she is a foul racist I think TVO needs to choose its guests more carefully. And if they did choose her even if they knew she's just a crappy rabble rouser then they should be ashamed of themselves...

Simon said...

Hi Zorpheous...I agree. In fact I thought one of the few highlights was when the wise old atheist...who obviously doesn't read Shittle's blog...looked up and said with a puzzled look on his face "did you really call Obama a Marxist professor?" And when she said yes he looked even MORE stunned and said "well you're entitled to your own opinion."
So much for rational thought. Poor man... :)

Simon said...

Hi anonymous...thanks...it wasn't easy. I'm not kidding when I say that was one of the most excruciatingly boring hours of TV I have ever watched. And I still haven't recovered... :)

sassy said...

I enjoyed your post much more than I enjoyed the show last night.

I do give the other panelist and Steve credit for the self control it must have taken not to just verbally whack that miserable excuse of a human being to kingdom come.

Oemissions said...

Simon; you are FUNnee!You deserve several Valentines!

Skinny Dipper said...

Style by Jury is a TV show that gives women makeovers.

Shaidle might have been a nun at one time. She probably quit because she thought Pope John-Paul was too liberal. She probably thinks the same of Colonel Ratzinger (aka Pope Benny 16).

I think she did try out for the lead role of Sister Maria in a Sound of Music theatre production. She ended up being cast as a rock in her elementary school production.

'berto said...

I've never even seen this woman before (living out west as I do), but I loved this posting. I gotta say, when yer funny, Simon, yer funny.... but this was hysterical! I actually snorted up coffee reading part of this. Awesome! Keep up the good work.

Simon said...

Hi Sassy....ha ha ha I'm glad you enjoyed it. Although let's face it it's not too hard to make it more interesting than that borefest. OMG I thought it was only going to be like a fifteen minute SEGMENT !!! So you can imagine my horror when I realized it was the whole hour. I practically COLLAPSED. :)
But yes Steve Paikin really is excellent. He deserves more exposure than what he gets...

Simon said...

Hi Oemissions...thanks...I wish i could write more funny stuff. But these days it's so hard. Everything is so grim and gray.
As for this post...afterwards I wondered if I had been too cruel to Shaidle. I always do when I write stuff like that. But then I read her blog again and I didn't feel too bad...

P.S. Thanks for saying I deserve lots of Valentines. That's what I keep telling people... ;)

Simon said...

Hi Skinny Dipper...I've never seen that show. But I would LOVE to see Shaidle in the dock holding forth like Joan of Arc. So much more amusing than the drag version by Ezra Levant... :)

Simon said...

Hi Berto...hey thanks and sorry about the coffee
You know I would rather be funny but as I explained above events are conspiring against me. It's a CONSPIRACY to try to make me gloomy like everybody else !!!
However since I would rather go down laughing than moaning,I intend to borrow Michael Phelps' bong and do something about it...

Shaidles a Racist said...

File a Section 13 Complaint against Racist Shaidle

http://shaidletheracist.blogspot.com/


Kathy Shaidle has used her blog at fivefeetoffury.com to promote intolerance and racism against vulnerable minorities for years.

The Canadian Human Rights Commission has legislation that specifically protects minorities from racism and hate posted on the Internet. Section 13 of the Canadian Human Rights Act (CHRA) empowers the Commission to deal with complaints regarding the communication of hate messages by telephone or on the Internet

Anonymous said...

Hmm. I think Shaidle's observation about countries like Holland and Sweden are right on point, though she's certainly not the first to make them.

So, what exactly is YOUR point, Simon. Aside from ridiculing Shaidle's appearance, I couldn't decipher one.

Do you only want to see people on television who say things you agree with?

Unknown said...

Furthermore, for what it's worth to you, calling Shaidle a racist and you risk falling into the trap of being the cliche liberal who uses the 'R' word whenever they've run out of rational argument, which tends to happen pretty early for most of you.

Even furthermore, the only person with egg on his face in this whole debacle was Warren Kinsella, once his bullying e-mails sent to TVO producers were made public.

Steve Paiken's tart 'shut your pie hole, we don't happen to like thugs like you ordering us who to put on our show, then speaking cryptically about how it might be in the future when Ignatieff is PM (although Paiken was infinitely more polite than that) was very well put.

Poor Catsmeat.

Anonymous said...

Is there anything more politically correct than religion, Muslim or Catholic?

Anonymous said...

Is it completely irrational to raise the word "racist"? Maybe she's not the typical right-wing yahoo, but Shaidle does believe in her own cultural/ethnic superiority and allies herself with more right-wing, but otherwise like-minded, extremists. Shaidle is somewhat accomplished in the narrow confines of literary elitism, but clearly lacks the open-minded, capacity for penetrating observation you expect of an artist, incl. more critical self-reflection on her own cultural and religious assumptions. She can't relate to the motivation behind "political correctness", yet ironically, she shows the same barren intellect of one who has spiritually regressed to embrace the comfortable "order" of reactionary, organised religion and tradition, as a security blanket against an ethnically diverse and somehow threatening present. This over-riding concern with preserving the superiority of the "white identity" is at the heart of Shaidle's political infantilism, as well as the politics of grievance dominating conservative argument today. Joe, you fall into the trap of referring to "racist" as a pejorative term used by "cliche liberal"s. Stereotyping or having negative biases according to a people's identifiable characteristics is the definition of "racism". Most people don't want to be called "racist", regardless of their opinions, eg. David Duke, and the KKK, hate being called "racists" -- oh no, they only hate blacks, and just believe in preserving the "natural order" of white supremacy. Anyway, hasn't the Catholic church committed and covered up their own crimes thru history, right up until the scandals of today? Are all religions hypocritical rackets? Maybe Shaidle will be "spiritually reawakened"... again.

Unknown said...

Can we laugh at you too