Monday, June 04, 2018

Doug Ford's Most Horrible and Devastating Day

With only three days to go before the Ontario election, Doug Ford's Team Harper's handlers have been taking no chances.

Keeping him in a bubble most of the day, lest he say something really dumb, or soil himself.

But sadly for him, and the Harperites, today it just didn't work.

When the bubble or the balloon burst.

And Dougie hit the ground with a sickening thud, just short of the finishing line.

First he found himself defending another one of his handpicked candidates from those demanding he be fired. 

Doug Ford is standing by his hand-picked candidate in Scarborough-Guildwood, a Toronto police officer who is now under investigation over a threatening email he insists is fake. Rival parties are demanding the Progressive Conservative leader drop Roshan Nallaratnam as a candidate in Thursday’s election.

Then he was forced to claim that he is a "strong believer in tough gun control." 

After being caught on tape saying this:

“Guns don’t kill people, crazy people with guns kill people. Safe gun owners, how many times have you ever heard a responsible gun owner killing someone?”

Which no doubt put a few more holes in what was left of his credibility.

And probably left many Torontonians wondering whether Dougie would take us back to the scary days when him and his brother Robbie ran the city.

And it seemed like everyone around Robbie kept getting arrested, or shot...

Like two of his friends in that photo.

But as bad as all of that was, what came next was worse. 

When Robbies's widow, Renata Ford, hit him and his other brother Randy with a $16.2 million lawsuit. 

Former Toronto mayor Rob Ford’s widow and children are suing his brother, Ontario Progressive Conservative Leader Doug Ford, alleging that he was a negligent business manager who cost the late mayor’s family millions and deprived them of the money left behind to support them.

Which since it also alleged that Dougie was too ignorant and/or too incompetent to run a label company.

Couldn't be more devastating for a man hoping to be the next Premier of Ontario.

The lawsuit describes a company without a coherent business plan, where Mr. Ford and his brother have resisted hiring professional managers and have provided friends and family members with jobs they aren’t qualified to hold.

And no doubt ruined this photo opportunity...

But at least we know what we have to do to stop that Con clown: get our people to vote, and make sure every vote counts. 

But pity the poor Cons, stuck with a beast they can't control...

What can they do to avoid humiliation? 

Except jump off a tall building.

Or jump into a swimming pool. 

And join the Trillium Party...

Lordy. I swear this campaign is a David Lynch production, choreographed by Ezra Levant. 

Except it's only too real.

There are only three days left to answer these two vital questions:

When will Dougie reveal his inner beast.

And when will we find out what he's hiding?

The lives of millions of people are at stake.

And failure is not an option...


  1. e.a.f.12:08 AM

    while flipping through channels, as I refer to the various websites I saw the headline that doubie was being sued by his late brother's wife and children. Nice touch right before the election.

    If the people of Ontario vote doubie into office and the province goes down the toilet and bankrupt, they cAn't blame anyone but themselves. doubie's sister in law gave them all they needed to know. Couldn't run a successful label company and hired what would sound like a bunch of unqualified bums.

    good luck Ontario and really do hope you have any one but dougie.

    1. Hi e.a.f....thank you for wishing us luck, because we are going to need it. This election campaign has been a farce from beginning to end, so any result is possible, and a Ford majority is still a very real possibility. As you say, Renata Ford's lawsuit should have woken up people, but just like Trump's followers, many won't believe that their Dougie could do anything wrong. It's insanity, but it's the new Canada, so god help us all...

    2. Doug's true believers are smearing Renata, calling her a drug addict and alcoholic. This won't sway them. Doug is on track to win a majority come Thursday night.

    3. Hi Frank...I'm not surprised that the fanatical members of the Ford Nation would smear Renata, even though Robbie treated her so badly, and her story rings true to me. As I told e.a.f. they are acting like Trump supporters. And I fear you're right, Ford is still on track to win a majority. The only thing we can do now is encourage people to vote, for a huge turnout can still swamp them...

  2. Jackie Blue12:18 AM

    Not quite an October Surprise, if only because the chronology is off. More like "June is Bustin' Out All Over." Hopefully it ends up being more like Ghostbusters, as in Robbie's ghost makes Dougie go bust.

    The best comedy writers, locked in a conference room with as much weed as it takes to induce uncontrollable giggle fits and bursts of creativity, couldn't make up this photo-finish shitshow if they tried.

    Not to mention, G6+party crasher is going to be a helluva WWE title match between the møøse and the pygmy pachyderm, eh? Sad!

    1. Hi Jackie...It is as you say an absolute shit show. And if you have the phone numbers for the Ghostbusters, or the Exorcist, please pass them on, because we need them badly. And yes, it is going to be quite a week. On Thursday we vote and on Friday Trump turns up in Quebec. Let's hope that we can give both Ford and Trump a memorable mugging...

  3. “He told me that it was fabricated. I believe him. He’s a young police officer,”

    And we know police officers never lie.

    Police officers do get malicious complaints against them but this one is unusual enough and serious enough that I really do think the officer should withdraw.

    We can hope that Roshan Nallaratnam is cleared and, if it was a false email that the person or persons responsible are identified but given the Ont. PC's record in this election (Is it nine candidates lost so far?) having the officer run does not look good.

    @ Jackie
    I read somewhere (paraphrase) that fiction has to be at least vaguely plausible, real life does not have these constraints.

    Political cartoonists must be conflicted; professionally rooting for Doug, personally horrified at the thought of a PC gov't.

    1. Hi jrkrideau...Let's face it, Ford has had so many scandalous episodes, starting with his election as leader, that in a normal world world he would have been forced to resign long ago. But as we all know we don't live in normal times, Trump has poisoned the well of sanity, and Ford is quite capable of turning government into an open sewer. So the question I have is who will be jailed first?

  4. I finally have had to admit that Trump is worse than Hillary. However going into the election it was a clear choice. Even Trump supporters saw the dark side.

    For Dougie the Ford Nation had on the blinders. Hope they now see the light. The drip drip drip of crooked bully behavior has to be taking a toll on sensible conservatives.

    1. Anonymous6:40 PM

      I spoke with all of the sensible conservatives and they both said that they would be OK.

    2. Hi Steve... well it took a while, but at least you have the decency to admit you were wrong, and will at least remember that I was right. ;)
      But don't count on the Ford Nation to see the light, just like Trump's most fanatical supporters they are blaming it all on the Deep State. May the Great Polar Bear God of the Great White North save me from this nightmare before I go as crazy as they are... ;)

    3. hi anon@6:40 PM...brilliant, I had a good laugh at that one. Until I turned on the TV and saw another "sensible conservative" and heard him say that he's STILL voting for Ford. The Zombie hordes are upon us and only a good flamethrower will save us... ;)

  5. e.a.f.5:34 PM

    Jackie blue, loved the last line and Simon, the blue head is gorgeous!

    of course Hillary would never have been aa bad as dump. Hillary wouldn't have had ICE lock up hundreds of children in an abandoned Wal-Mart store in Brownsville, Texas and then block Senator Jeff Merkley from entering. Yes, that is what is currently happening in Texas regarding the undocumented people, separated from their children. some are suggesting almost a thousand children are in the building and no one is permitted in. When Senator Merkley tried to go in, ICE called the Brownsville Gestapo. So after loosing 1500 kids, they have an untolled number in a Wal Mart, currently a private prison. So if people like that I'm sure they'll vote for Ford and his supporter Scheer. Canada doesn't need people like Ford or Scheer in any office which has control over much.

    Ford was/is a lousy politician and now we see he is not only a lousy business person, but he has allegedly ripped off his sister in law and her two kids. Just imagine what Doubie could do to the province of Ontario. the contracts doubie could award to his friends......

    B.C. had the most corrupt provincial government in Canada, please don't open Ontario to that type of corruption. Its not fun and it very very hard on children. (we now have a much cleaner NDP/Green coilition)

  6. Good for the National Post for completely ignoring this story.

  7. Anonymous8:50 PM

    I would love to encourage all Cons to join the Trillium Party. However, there should be no cheating, so no scuba equipment. ;)

    1. Hi anon @8:50 PM...I think your conditions are reasonable, and all I would add to them is some really heavy weights in their pockets. Glug, glug, glug... ;)

  8. Anonymous9:40 PM

    Politicians with skeletons in their closet are nothing new. What is new is that some have the audacity to let their skeletons roam freely before election day and still the electorate continue to consider them worthy leaders. How do they manage to survive when others with with only one or two closet escapees are quickly deep sixed with their bones?
    Possibly we are a few to many generations removed from WW2, Vietnam, the economic depressions so we only see the upside of a symbiotic relationship between an asshole politician and those who believe they own him with their votes. Perhaps because harsh reality is such a distant memory its much more fun to play games...lets try Dougie/Trump and see what happens, we can always change them out later. Whatever the reason if Ontario has to go down that fork in the road Dougie the incompetent is a blessing. The Dougie years will occupy a special place in Canadian history.

  9. Anonymous12:53 AM

    Renata must be pretty pissed off at Doug the Thug for her to sue him now, achieving maximum effect against Mr. for the people's quest to become the worst premier in Ontario's history.
    If this is how he treats the widow and children of the brother he worshipped then imagine for a moment what he'd do to Ontarians if this grossly incompetent buffoon wins on Thursday.
    Wake up Ontario! Anyone but Doug.

    1. Hi JD...I used to wince at the brutish way Rob Ford treated Renata, so needless to say I'm pulling for her now. If she manages to sway a few votes and denies Ford a majority, she'll be a hero in my book. For as you say, if he can treat her and her poor children in such a manner, imagine what the beast might do all the vulnerable people in this province if he should become Premier. And yes, wake up Ontario, anyone but Ford...

  10. Hi RT...I have no idea how Doug Ford is so close to becoming the next Premier of Ontario. I realize that his competition wasn't exactly brilliant. But the fact that so many people in a province like Ontario could vote for somebody so obviously incompetent and corrupt has totally blown my mind. And my only consolation is that if Dougie is elected, the Cons in Ontario will not be back for a generation, and Justin Trudeau will grind Andrew Scheer into the dust in the next federal election...