In just a few hours I'll be following the rainbow, or waving it, at the Toronto Pride parade.
Along with about a million gay people and their straight friends and supporters.
It's always an awesome spectacle. A chance to celebrate our community, our survival, and in my case at least, send a giant F**K YOU to every bigot in the world.
Because that's what the rainbow flag means to me. FREEDOM.
Well he's been acting a little strangely lately.
The stress of watching the flood waters AND the opposition advancing, has clearly driven him over the edge.
He's been dressing up in a military uniform and pretending to be Great Commander Leader.
But while his pathetic phony photo-ops are hilarious, this is the absolute limit.
Well as you know the Con convention in Calgary had to be postponed due to an extreme weather event.
And Stephen Harper is terribly depressed because he can't press the reset button on his old and tired government.
Mike Duffy is sticking to him like a fridge magnet. And the tin foil is falling off the Con turkey.
So I thought I'd try to cheer him up eh?
By organizing a smaller convention, or Con reunion, of some of those nearest and dearest to him.
And you won't believe who is going to be there !!!!
I've been studiously trying to ignore anything that happens in the United States these days.
Because it's summer, the place is a mad house, and if I need crazy I've got Harper eh?
But I couldn't ignore the screams and the tears of joy of millions of gay Americans and their friends today.
Or the sparkly unicorn of this great victory.
They are without a doubt the most dangerous political gang this country has ever known.
Stephen Harper and his collection of ugly monsters in the Con PMO.
They are brutish Republican-style operatives, bullies, grunting ideologues and religious fanatics.
They will do ANYTHING to pleasure their depraved leader.
Even send out their own little piglets to make idiots out of themselves, and get caught.
It's one of the worst scandals in Canadian history.
A clear and deliberate attempt to steal an election.
But if you received a call from the Con conspiracy called Pierre Poutine, don't you DARE complain.
Or the Cons will make you PAY.
Two years ago I first told you the story of Far Enough Farm, the beautiful little hobby farm on the Toronto Islands. A gentle story book place if ever there was one.
I told you how the brutish Con ogre Rob Ford was trying to destroy it for no good reason.
And how I was worried that some of the humble animals that live there might have to put down if the farm was shut down, because nobody would want them.
Oh no. What a disaster.
And how ironic eh?
An extreme weather event, the kind the Cons don't like to talk about, has forced them to postpone their convention.
The Conservative Party national policy convention which was scheduled to get underway in Calgary next Thursday has been postponed, as city officials warn Calgarians to stay away from the downtown core now engulfed by flood waters.
So now not only are their plans to try to put lipstick on an old hog delayed. So is Stephen Harper's last desperate attempt for a comeback.
Golly. I bet the Cons are really regretting having gone after Tom Mulcair for ignoring a stop sign on Parliament Hill.
For not only did it make them look ridiculous.
It also made them look hypocritical.
And now to make matters even worse eh?
Watch out !!!! Here comes Maxime Bernier !!!
Well I see that even Andrew Coyne is starting to ask himself whether the Cons can save themselves from self destruction.
And whether they have lost their way or lost their minds.
But like all true believers he just doesn't get it.
OMG. I see Great Monstrous Leader has retreated to the basement of 24 Sussex Drive, to lick his wounds, get away from Mike Duffy.
And wait for a big electrical storm.
It's horrible, it's scary. He's desperate to try to escape the Senate scandal, desperate to boost his sagging polls.
But it's just not working. It just keeps getting WORSE !!!!!
Well I see Stephen Harper is back in Canada after his disastrous performance at the G8 Summit.
He was wrong about a Syria agreement. The other leaders did manage to cobble one together.
He was wrong about Vladimir Putin. He wasn't the odd man out at the meeting, Harper was.
He couldn't get a trade deal. Wherever he went Old Duff followed him. And when it was over all reporters wanted to know was, why is his PMO using OUR tax dollars to go after Justin Trudeau?
Well as you know Tom Mulcair got into a spot of trouble on Parliament Hill the other day.
He ran a stop sign, was intercepted by the RCMP.
And then mercilessly mocked by the Cons in the House of Commons.
First by James Moore and then by Jason Kenney.
But now it turns out Mulcair wasn't the only parliamentarian intercepted by the RCMP. So was Con MP Eve Adams.
Ever since I started blogging I have used the paintings of Hieronymus Bosch to illustrate Stephen Harper's PMO.
For nothing else can better portray the mixture of religious fanaticism and political degeneracy that reigns in that hellish place.
They have perverted our politics, they have violated our traditions, they are the foulest bullies this country has ever seen.
And just when you think they have emptied their bowels, they still keep on excreting.
In the ghastly Orwellian circus that the Cons have turned our Parliament into, it was a wonderful moment.
There was James Moore, filling in for Stephen Harper, doing what he has been doing since Great Ugly Leader left for Europe in a hurry.
Answering every question by smearing the opposition.
Uh oh. It looks as if Stephen Harper's Great Escape Tour of Europe is going disastrously wrong.
The Tour has gone off the rails, and he's fallen off the wagon !!!!!
He can't get a deal. He can't get away from Old Duff. He's desperately seeking sexy photo-ops to try to make people forget all the scandals.
But today all the boys in the PMO could scrape up for him was this miserable one.
As I paddle my way through life I'm sorry to say that so far I don't have much to brag about eh?
Whenever I toot my own horn there is always somebody there, like Seb or my Mum, to gently remind me I'm not perfect. !!@#!!!
But I'm proud to say that I don't have a bigoted bone in my body. I don't just tolerate diversity, I celebrate it. So you can imagine how happy I was to see this story.
I'm sure historians will not fail to note that they were a REALLY odd couple.
The jolly former journalist and the cold sinister leader of the Con mob.
As they struggle to understand what brought them together with such fateful consequences.
I used to think it was because the mob leader admired the sneaky way the journalist knifed Stephane Dion in the back just a few days before the 2008 election. Because that's the kind of thing that really turns his crank eh?
But now I realize it wasn't twisted love, it was strictly BUSINESS.
Well there there they were today, driving through the streets of London, England, in the getaway limo.
John Baird and Stephen Harper doing their best to try to escape the Senate scandal.
But sadly for them the stench followed them everywhere, even into the British Parliament.
Well now we know how Stephen Harper was feeling only a few hours before he won his precious majority.
How he turned a mike check into a cabaret act, when he thought the cameras weren't rolling.
Because now somebody called Steve Harper has uploaded a video of that performance to YouTube.
And it's SCARY.
As I watched him drag himself wearily up the steps of his getaway plane, I could only imagine what Stephen Harper was thinking.
I've done it !!! I've made it to the plane !!! The caucus rebels can't get me now. And even Duffy can't follow me EVERYWHERE !!@#!
But sadly for Great Battered Leader I just KNOW that Old Duff and his Senate pals will find some way to keep him company eh?
And of course when he returns, the caucus rebels will be waiting. Because now it's getting serious.
Well last night I shared one of my favourite dreams with you eh?
The one where the crazed alien Stephen Harper, battered beyond recognition by scandal, suddenly decides to quit.
And I said how encouraged I was to see some big shots in the MSM also musing about whether he might resign before the next election.
Only to have Paul Wells, the faithful keeper of the Harper flame, come along today and pour water over his colleagues, and the whole idea.
Well I see Stephen Harper is getting ready to jump into his shiny new Con getaway plane, and escape to Europe.
No doubt hoping that he can leave Mike Duffy and the sordid Senate scandal behind him eh?
But sadly for great cut and run leader there isn't much business in this so-called business trip.
Oh.My.Gotterdammerung. I can only imagine the grim scene inside the Harper bunker tonight.
The PMO boys in a tizzy screaming "Treason !!! Treason !!!"
Or "Wallin is coming !!! Wallin is coming !!!"
And Great Ugly Leader in a lather screaming "Attack the CBC !!!!"
People are always asking me whether I REALLY believe that the Cons should be arrested eh?
And I'm always having to say yes I really do.
Not just because of the way they have hijacked our democracy, and all their sordid scandals.
But because they are actually prepared to hurt, or even kill Canadians, in the name of their foul ideology.
First they told us that Nigel Wright cut a $90,000 cheque to help his old pal Mike Duffy.
Because he's that kind of guy eh?
Then when it turned out the two men hardly knew each other, they claimed Wright did it to save the taxpayers.
But what they didn't tell us was that he controlled a secret PMO fund.
Oh no. Poor Stephen Harper. He just can't get a break from that horrible senate scandal.
As if having the hand of Pamela Wallin coming at him in his dreams, making it look like a sex scandal, wasn't bad enough eh?
Today he had to admit that when he personally examined Pammy's expenses and declared them "satisfactory."
He might have spoken too soon.
There couldn't have been a greater contrast between the two political leaders. There couldn't have been a clearer sign that the Con regime is rotting, like a fish, from the head down.
On one side there was Tom Mulcair, controlled, dignified, asking short direct questions about the sordid senate scandal.
On the other there was Stephen Harper, squirming like an eel, dodging most questions, and lashing out like a political thug.
Well I'm sorry to say that Stephen Harper wasn't able to make it to Question Period today.
Although I can't say I'm surprised eh?
I'm sure he knows that if Tom Mulcair gets to grill him about the Duffy Affair again, like he did last week, they'll have to wheel Great Shattered Leader out of the Commons between two large pieces of toast.
No doubt screaming: "Will somebody please get this monkey off my back......or this EGG off my face !!@#!!
If the police don't grill him first.
Golly. I can only imagine how Stephen Harper must be feeling these days as he watches what was left of his tarnished reputation crumbling under the weight of scandal.
Although I'd rather not eh? Because it must be a scary thing.
The violent rages, the howls of betrayal. The infernal din of all the voices in his head screaming "Destroy The ENEMY !!!!!". Or "HELP !!!!!"
Because by now even our mad king must realize the damage is TERMINAL.
It's not easy looking for heroes in Harperland.
Everywhere I look all I see is corruption and scandal.
Grubby politicians and small greedy people.
But of course there are real heroes out there.
And these were four of the best
