Monday, September 29, 2008

Sarah Palin, Heather Mallick, and the Top 5 Bloggers

Well I learned something new today. If you want to be the TOP ELECTION BLOGGER you have to denounce someone.

So I think I'll start by denouncing Susan Ormiston.

Now I'm sure she's a very nice lady. And the CBC is a precious Canadian institution. But really dahling, I'm afraid to say that anyone who includes Jason the Jabba and Stevie the Doggy Food Detective on a list of top bloggers, has got to be OUT of it.

But why am I surprised? So are her bosses.

Now look, even though I LOVE Heather, I'm not saying the Ombuddahman was completely wrong. For example when she says that Republican men are sexually inadequate, how does she know that I wonder? Huh? And was the toe tapper Larry Craig inadequate or just unlucky?

But does the CBC have to be so absolutely mindnumbingly BORING. Why did it have to give in to somebody like this? Jabba's ugly cousin.

Why do they inflict the right-wing dwarf Rex Murphy's dribbly diatribes on us all the time?

And don't they understand that in a country as sexually repressed as this one, anyone who can evoke the image of vaginas calling out to each other in the night, deserves to be REWARDED not punished.

Besides I thought her attacks on Palin's redneck family, and the white trash that support her, could have been so much worse.

And so much more shocking.

A shotgun marriage between Wasilla's wild makeout queen and the redneck oxycontin dealer .... to save the Republicans? Is that a Hail Ho pass?

Or something as scary as this halloween mask?

And as for calling this Christianist homophobe a porn star and a liar, I bet she isn't the only one.

Although I'd rather call her Jezebel.

Heather Mallick RULES. Susan Ormiston should get with it.

Her CBC bosses should stop being so BORING.

And if anyone sees Jason Cherniak or Steve Janke's absurd bloated ego floating past their window one of Jabba's farts.

Make sure you have a safety pin handy....


P.S. Extra good news...the guy who put that video of Sarah Palin on YouTube says he's got footage of her playing the flute.

EXCELLENT. Will it be a redneck howdy doody?

Or a funeral dirge?

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