Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Why the TSA Can Touch My Junk Anytime it Wants

With all the whining about the TSA and airport security. And that stirring cry. Take your hands off my junk !!!! You faggot !!!!!  I'm an American !!!!!

Where will it end, asked John Mica, a Florida Congressman? "Shoe bomber, we had to take off our shoes; liquid, we have to take out our liquid; now we're being groped because of the diaper bomber. What's next? The proctologist, the gynaecologist?"

I couldn't help thinking about my last trip to Fortress America.

Which included a journey through the stinky bowels of La Guardia. A sprint to another terminal on a brutally hot muggy day. The second security check in two hours. And a 400-pound man who asked me if I could help him put his shoes on. Only to roll off the bench, fall on the floor, and cause me to pull a muscle in my shoulder helping him up. 

Gawd. Did I mention I was sweating like a pig?

Like so many other passengers. Apparently.

Do you think I want to go to work and place my hands between women’s legs and touch their breasts for a few hours? For starters, I am attracted to men, not women and if I was attracted to women, it would not be the large number of passengers I handle daily that have a problem understanding what personal hygiene is. Yesterday a passenger told me to keep my hands off his penis or he’d scream

Anyway, then I arrive at the small Portland airport, and I'm sitting outside taking in the quiet pastoral scene. When a loudspeaker suddenly blasts out behind me :"The Department of Homeland Security blah blah blah."

So then I'm smoking a cigarette to calm my nerves eh? And thinking this is INSANE. Only to remember this is the airport where Mohamed Atta, the ringleader of the 911 hijackers, began his fatal mission.

Which is a long way of explaining why I think I agree with this guy's naked truth.

Because I like flying and I don't like being on board a potential airborne torpedo, then I'm prepared in those circumstances to have my junk scanned or touched. I've been through both of those procedures at airports – as have many people. While I don't enjoy it, really it's so minor an issue that queuing for the security screening is a bigger inconvenience.

Because to be brutally nakedly honest,  I don't mind if anyone wants to look at my dick. I'm always trying to impress others. And if some guy wants to go down on his knees in front of me, and grope me, I don't really mind either. As long as he's gentle.

Although not TOO gentle. Because I'm easily aroused eh?

But here's the real naked truth. As long as the American Perpetual War Machine, and its little toy Canada, keep roaming the earth killing Muslims it's a sure thing that someone somewhere is going to want to do the same to us. 

And I'd hate to fall to earth through a hole in the floor of a plane, and have to spend my last seconds thinking about how those whiners are going to try to have their cake and eat it.

Of course if security is loosened even marginally, and God forbid a terrorist should later succeed in taking down a plane, then you can bet many of those Fox News commentators currently berating the TSA for being overzealous will be attacking the government for being weak on national security, as sure as night follows day.

You know, since we live in Stephen Harper's bleak Canada,  there are many good reasons to worry about our civil rights being threatened.

But this ain't one of them.

And besides didn't Rick Mercer didn't say it all?

Almost a YEAR ago?

So do I find all of this crazy? Absolutely.

But the Great War on Terror drove us crazy a long time ago. And when you make your bed.

You usually have to sleep in it...

Recommend this post at Progressive Bloggers.

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