Tuesday, July 13, 2010

When Gay and Straight Soldiers Can't Shower Together

Oh no. Grab your towels. I see the Pentagon is planning to segregate gay soldiers.

The Pentagon confirmed on Friday that it is considering segregating gay troops, specifically with regards to creating separate showers and/or barracks for straight and gay troops.

The nasty bigots. Even though gay and straight soldiers have been living together, fighting together, and bathing together FOREVER.

Golly. I just don't understand the fuss. Why didn't they check with the Canadian army eh? So they could find out that's not an issue. Gay men aren't rapists. And the army has got bigger problems.

It's insulting of course to suggest that gay men are sexual animals. Because although we are incredibly sexy, and straight boys are ALWAYS dropping the soap and bending over in front of us, we can control ourselves.

But then I could be WRONG.

Sometimes when I walk down the street, I can barely contain myself when I see an attractive man in my proximity...I get the shakes. I feel uncontrollable desire come over me that I can't let go. I begin to sweat, the blood rushes through my veins, and I know that I must have him right then and there, regardless of the circumstances.

There are people who go into the military for all kinds of reasons. Some have a family history of service, some are looking for a path to a college education, and some have been compelled to do so by some of the events of the past few years, but the gay soldiers? Totally in it for the sex.

Right. Because there's no thrill like it eh? First the good guys blow you. Then the bad guys blow you up.

Gawd. Only in America, where they love sex and hate it and fear it. All at the same time.

And gay panic is everywhere.

Take the disturbing case of the M&M and the nasty pretzel...

See what I mean? Only in America can a candy commercial give you a pain in the ass.

Nah. Forget it. The Pentagon should go and fuck itself. Those straight boys in the army are safe.

Except of course, when there's a full moon eh?

And the gay boys are allowed to play Lady Gaga OPENLY.

Because the bigots won't stop us from being good soldiers, and servicing our country.

But she can drive us WILD...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Straight men aren't rapist either, how come the military doesn't have coed showers as it is now? Why don't we just let everyone shower together?