Saturday, November 02, 2013

Stephen Harper and the Men in Black

Well his convention speech was a total bust, a parody of a parody of an empty cliché as Andrew Coyne called it.

Or a deranged quasi-fascist rant that only his rabid base could love, as I did.

But that didn't stop Great Desperate Leader from slipping into a black shirt shortly afterwards, and serenading the faithful at the Cowboy Cabaret. 

He was Prime Minister Stephen Harper while on stage Friday night at the Conservative Party Convention in Calgary, but on stage at the "Cowboys" nightclub he was the man in black. Harper loosened up after his convention performance with a delegates only performance at "Cowboys."

Which finally explains why he prorogued parliament eh? So he could practice for his big gig, try to remake his image. AGAIN.

And do what he always does when he's DESPERATE...

And also explains his choice of songs:

They opened with "The Hockey Song" by Stompin Tom Connors and also knocked off a version of "Folsom Prison Blues" by Johnny Cash -- the original man in black.

Because although both the great Tom and the great Johnny must be rolling in their graves, it does make sense from his point of view.

His new hockey book is coming out next month. And judging from the excerpts that have been published, it's going to need all the help it can get eh? 

If it's not to be remaindered, or thrown in the garburator, even before Great Ugly Leader himself.

Life without Stephen Harper as leader has never been on the Conservative radar . . . until now.

Don’t get me wrong. The delegates who are gathered in Calgary for a national convention did not come here bearing knives to throw at the wounded prime minister. The majority of them may not even be angry at Harper. But they suspect that he is now damaged goods.

Because let's be clear, as he likes to say, once you're damaged goods, sooner or later you're DONE.

If Jason Kenney doesn't get you first.

Which no doubt explains why Ol' Harp was playing the Folsom Prison Blues at the Cowboy Cabaret.

You know, the place where the Cons roam...

So he can prepare for his new life after politics.

As Big Oil's old whore.

Or Butch's new "FRIEND".... 

When he'll have to sing for his supper, or his protection, in one of his dangerously overcrowded jails.

A fate he will richly deserve, not just for assaulting Canada and it's democratic values for eight long years. In the most bestial way possible.

But also for defiling the memory of the great Stompin' Tom.

Or for daring to imitate what the great Johnny did at San Quentin...

And what more can I say eh?

Except he IS truly desperate. A black shirt suits him well. A train called the Canadian People's Express is coming down down the tracks straight for him.

And I'm in the caboose. Woo Hoo !!!!!

Heading for the Day of Deliverance.

And singing this song with John....

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Anonymous said...

Mr. Harper sings gratingly out of tune. And his piano chops are laughingly simplistic. But if it entertains the Reform-Conservative base, then mission accomplished I guess.

Anonymous said...

After all these years, no one in his circle has the nerve to tell him he can't sing. He degrades himself and unfortunately, Canada. Desecrates the Beatles, too.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of singing, when Muclair or Trudeau or both get a taste of the machine that will destroy them their cries of anguish and despair will be such sweet music. Poor fellows, they won't even have a chance.

As will yours Simon, as will yours.

Anonymous said...

I'm suprised he's not more worried about a cease and desist order from the artists. He knows better to stay clear of Yoko no? And his policies are so out of touch with thier message. Takin care of business was old boy union stuff was it not?

Simon said...

hi anon...I must admit that I only watched about twenty seconds of that video, but with all those songs it must have taken quite a bit of rehearsal time. So I'll just add to your comment and say, whatever keeps the Reform Con base AND Stephen Harper out of trouble, can't be all bad.... ;)

Simon said...

hi anon... I magine telling Great Leader he can't sing, would be like telling the naked Emperor he had no clothes eh? Career limiting and possible fatal. I also can't help noting that the Cons went to enormous length to keep the media at bay, but made sure they were at the right place at the right time to take in this "musical" performance...

Simon said...

hi anonycon....well now I'm really scared. Not. You Cons have an uncanny ability to deny reality, like climate change for example. But let me assure you, your Great Leader and his foul Con machine will indeed be going down. And I will be singing, badly but loudly, for at least three days, to celebrate the occasion... :)

BCLaraby said...

I never understood how CPC - especially Harper - gets away with annexing the Clint Eastwood/Johnny Cash/ Salt-of-the-Earth image. Harper's a little rich boy from Ontario with thick, heavy ties to big oil. Not the part of big oil that sees him knee-deep in the shit with those workers he claims to represent, but up there in the well-heated, manicured head offices. In fact, much of what Harper stands for, bringing in TFWs to replace hard working middle-class Canadians for example, spits in the face of the Man In Black and what he represented. Why Conservative voters continue to fall for this empty schlock is beyond me.

Simon said...

hin anon...yes I'm surprised too that artists haven't complained about him using their songs to try to make himself look half human. I do know that he ever sang one of my humble songs, he could offer me a million bucks, and I would still get a cease and desist order. As for the group that he performed with, Herringboners or Fish Sticks or something like that, I'll make a point of NEVER buying any of their songs... ;)

Anonymous said...

The Real Johnny Cash, Neil Diamond singer is Johnny Rider from Calgary! He is Orange all the way! The Consevatives want Johnny Rider nowhere near the stage! He floored the crowd singing Turn The Page in a Competition at Cowboys and then was Conned out of the buiding when they found out he supports Mulcair! No one sings 6 voices like Johnny Rider! NoOne