Golly. What a scare. My heart is still beating wildly. For a moment I thought Tony Clement had tried to take the easy way out of the Census Fiasco.
By jumping into a river fully clothed and almost drowning.
But it turns out he was just an almost hero.
Or so he
The even shorter version:
I jumped into a river. I couldn't swim. I barely made it to the bank. I helped warm her up. I'm knackered. Kids don't do what I did. Tell EVERYBODY. All you need is love. Tweet. Tweet.
OMG. What an idiot. No wonder he wants to kill the census.
And BTW...with all the pork he's pumped and hoovered into his riding.
No possible spending proposal seems to have gone unrewarded. There’s money for bridges, roads, hockey arenas, museums, health programs and college dorms. Small airports are getting fixed up, as are fire halls, train stations, libraries, water mains, parks and bike paths in the riding.
Can't that filthy rich neighbourhood afford a proper lifeguard?
And where was that G20 steamboat when they needed it?
Oh well...the good news is he survived. And it could have been worse eh?
He could have jumped into the river without any clothes on.
And of course, the even better news is that now he'll have to defend his decision to gut the census before that parliamentary committee on Tuesday.
And I don't think he can. Nobody can. It's that dumb.
And he's clearly no genius.
Oh goody. Remind me to sacrifice a chunk of cheese to the Con Rat God for saving Clementine's life. I wouldn't miss that show for ANYTHING. I want to be there in the front row with a bag of chips and my vuvuzela.
Do you think he'll turn up in a life jacket? Oh I hope so.
Here's to the almost hero. Who would drown us in ignorance.
Play him out Keyboard Cat Man...