Thursday, November 27, 2014

Where YOU Get to be the Judge of the Con Clown Awards

As you know I've been having a bit of trouble lately trying to decide who should be awarded my monthly weekly daily Con Clown Award.

There are just so many candidates, starting with Great Leader, who deserve it so much.

And today it was just too hard, and too dark in Harperland, for me to make up my mind. 

So I'm going to have to ask you my beloved readers, to decide who should receive that award.


For looking in the Commons yesterday like he'd like to strangle the person who had just asked him when he planned to apologize to the Liberal candidate he mugged. 

After receiving a secretly recorded tape from the sinister Con operative Alexandra Constantinidis...

For continuing to deny he assaulted the wrong person.

A Conservative cloak-and-dagger caper aimed at capturing a Liberal candidate in a verbal gaffe has taken another twist, with the governing party producing expert audio analysis to back up its version of who said what.

And for blasting this foul gaseous mixture out of every orifice.

"That Liberal candidate (Raynolds), that Liberal member (Lamoureux) and every Liberal member opposes tax fairness for families," Kenney retorted, asserting that the Liberals are opposed to all the family-focused tax cuts the Conservative government has implemented. 

 "They want to take these benefits away from families, and they do so because they believe that Liberal politicians known better how to spend money than do moms and dads. We profoundly disagree on this side."

Even though Chastity knows NOTHING about families. For obvious reasons eh? 

And everybody knows the porky Con tax plan is just an outrageous scam to bribe the rich and screw the poor. 


For somehow managing, just one day after the Auditor General blasted his department for the shabby way it treats our veterans and wounded soldiers, to go missing in action.

Or missing in Italy.

The day before auditor general Michael Ferguson exposed for Canadians the government’s slow and shoddy treatment of veterans seeking mental health help, the minister responsible, Julian Fantino, was in the neighbourhood. His department appears to be fuelled by molasses, but Fantino can act in a timely fashion. 

By the time Ferguson laid out the problems in chapter and verse, the veterans affairs minister was in Italy.

And for once again proving without a doubt that he should be fired IMMEDIATELY.

There is an old baseball adage that holds if you put a substandard fielder on the diamond, the ball will quickly find him. In politics the same holds true. Put a substandard minister in your cabinet and trouble will quickly find him or her. 

Even if you can’t find him on a day for him to stand up.


For coming up with the most idiotic plan to fight sexual harassment, the Commons, the country, and the entire world has ever seen or heard.

Peter Goldring, Member of Parliament for Edmonton East, today stated that MPs that consort with others should avail themselves of readily available risk protection for their health and integrity, to prevent besmirchment when encounters run awry.

“It will not be good enough to simply say that your intentions were honourable and you were just inviting a colleague to your apartment at two in the morning to play a game of Scrabble at the end of a day of playing sports and drinking. MPs must learn, as I have from encounters with authority figures in the past, that all do not tell the truth.

I now wear ‘protection’ in the form of body-worn video recording equipment.

For shocking the bejeezus out of everyone with horrible images of cameras in all the wrong places.

For clearly using this sordid crisis to fight an old sordid battle. With the POLICE.

And for at the end of the day retracting that idiot statement faster than he got out of that truck. 

But not before the damage was done...

And not before the Harper Government was made to look even crazier or even more useless than it did the day before.

So as you can see it's not an easy thing to determine who best deserves the Con Clown Award, and I'm leaving that difficult choice up to you.

While I take the easy way out, and declare them ALL the winners...

In the fond hope that they will all soon be given the hook.

For honestly, in the name of decency, and sanity, and OUR poor Canada.

It can't happen soon enough...

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  1. It's too hard to pick just one. Put the whole cabinet into a little tiny car and I'll vote for the ghastly group

    1. hi rumleyfips...oh no come on, I was COUNTING on you guys to help me with this one.;) But yes that does sound like a good idea. Put them in a tiny clown car and make them drive in a circle and until they get tired of peddling. Or we can send them all to a place with bars on the window...

  2. I hurt myself laughing.. spewed my coffee.. soon you will hear from my solicitors ..
    For sheer silliness it must be Goldring ... the others are super bovine though..

    1. hi salamander...I'm sorry about the coffee, but yes although I hate to cheat Kenney out of his just desserts,and would love Fantino to stay in Italy, Goldring really takes the fruit cake. I was forced to do a little research on him, and it really is appalling that a man so crazy and stupid should have had such a long career in Parliament. And I have to say it took every ounce of restraint in my body to refrain from being REALLY rude....

  3. I think the great psychotic leader should win for standing up day after day and behaving as though they were all normal and acting normally.

    1. hi Anne...Great Psycho Leader is in a genre of his own. Somewhere between The Sopranos and the Chainsaw Massacre. I find it hard to laugh at him when I'm screaming so loudly... ;)

  4. Fantino also skipped out of his key note speech at the opening of a TO conference of assembled North American PTSD experts on the same day as the auditors report. So I think he should earn the honor for his poor scheduling skills.

    Source was a CP24 vet interview.

    1. hi WILLY...just for his poor scheduling skills? You know Fantino is such an asshole and has caused so much pain with his brutish actions, it's hard to laugh at him. Although when he ran from the wife of a veteran that was pretty hilarious. And he definitely is the most ridiculous figure. At least Goldring is retiring. When will Fantino get the hint and follow him into obscurity?

  5. Well, yes they all deserve the title, but let's get real here, for sheer idiocy and typecasting it's hard to beat Emperor Steve..
    We can't laugh, really at the way vets have been that let's Fantino off the hook (for now...)
    Kenney is such a blowhard, such an idiotic blubbering ass that I hope he continues to 'rally the troops' in this fashion; since he is the new replacement part for head RoboClown, he should be spared our glee until the Emperor is indeed gone..that only leaves Mr. BrassRing, who to be honest I was unaware of until now...his whole insane statement sounds like a classic clown bit of verbiage, so, in the absence of Harpo on the list have to say my vote is for this ridiculous apologist for sexist jerks everywhere, Goldring....

    1. hi mizdarlin...remember I am talking about Con clown of the DAY. So yes, I too think Mr BrassRing should get the edge. Not only was his performance insane, he also strongly suggested that women are making up stories about being sexually harassed. So he gets to double his idiot points...

  6. Even though he wasn't nominated I would like to write in Pierre Polliviore (or however he spells his name which I consider a synonym for Bull Feces!

    1. hi kootcoot...well as I said above it was the con Clown Award of the DAY, so since Poilievre didn't open his mouth once, and yap like a chihuahua, he doesn't qualify. But there will be other days, and I'm willing to bet he will win his share of awards before the Cons are given the hook...

  7. Anonymous1:02 AM

    It's gotta be Jason "Chastity" Kenney, because not only was he totally wrong, he doubled down once proven wrong. And he's supposed to be the SENSIBLE one in the party.

    1. hi anon...I have to admit that I'm easily swayed by any argument that Chastity is guilty of ANYTHING.;)
      But you're right, because it is Kenney, because he's trying to pretend that he's better than the others his clown show with have the most profound consequences. Kenny was so obsessed with defending HIS income splitting plan, he got carried away, and he will pay for it...

  8. e.a.f.3:14 AM

    our edmonton mp does run a good first, However, the fact he was forced to retract was also a problem. It once again demonstrates what a tight leash the PMO has on cons M.P.s Sure what he said was stupid and took away from the issue. However, to be forced to wthdraw the statement creates even a larger problem. M.P.s ought to answer to those who voted them into office, not the pmo.

  9. hi e.a.f...I would have loved to be a fly on the wall of the PMO when they first saw Goldring's statement. It must have been hilarious. In fact knowing how stubborn Goldring is, I figure they probably had to use horse tranquilizer on his before he retracted his statement. The more they try to pretend they are a real government the more ridiculous they look...