The Con leadership race was always going to be a sleazy affair. With two old Harperite hacks, and two social conservatives vying to be leader what else could it be?
Especially since the two Harperites have been shamefully pandering to the two religious fanatics who will almost certainly determine the winner.
But even by the low standards of the Ugly American party, this couldn't be more disturbing.
A few days ago I wrote a post about Stephen Harper's appearance on an American right-wing talk show.
Where he claimed that the only reason he lost the 2015 election was because the media was united against him.
And like others I wondered whether he had returned to replace the hapless Andrew Scheer as interim leader.
But now I believe that we can all relax, because it doesn't look like Harper will be going anywhere...
Andrew Scheer has always been a weird bird. He's a religious fanatic, a racist, a misogynist, a homophobe, and a climate change denier.
But lately his kooky behaviour appears to be spinning out of control. He seems to be campaigning for office again, even though he's just a lame duck loser, and he's only supposed to be keeping the seat warm for the next leader.
So much so that it took him forever to react to that horrible massacre in Nova Scotia.
No doubt worried that any talk of gun control might anger his gun loving base.
Or make them believe he wasn't one of them.
I have always had trouble taking Peter MacKay seriously.
I've always thought of him as a wannabe Margaret Thatcher, who couldn't quite pull it off.
There is a reason I call him Dumbo.
And of course, this doesn't make him look any smarter.
I've always known that Erin O'Toole wasn't the brightest bulb in the universe, but I've always thought of him as a relatively innocuous Con clown.
Unfortunately ever since he set out to win over his party's rabid base, he 's starting to sound like a far-right extremist.
And this is just the latest example.
He swam menacingly around the shark tank. He couldn't make up his mind. He knew the Cons were hoping he'd liven up their deadly boring leadership race.
He knew they were desperate.
It is hard to imagine a race more boring than this one... As in any arena, strong competition breeds strong competitors. A field of strong candidates fight more forcefully for their ideas. Their weaknesses get tested.
And through the fire of a leadership contest – the hotter the better - you harden them into steel.
Step forward John Baird.
But when the time came, he just wasn't ready.
In my last post I looked at a recent poll, one that had Peter MacKay so far ahead of the other Con leadership candidates it might as well be a coronation.
But sadly for Dumbo, it's only a cardboard crown, or a silly beanie with a helicopter-style propeller.
It won't mean much to most decent Canadians who remember how faithfully he served the monstrous Harper regime.
I never really noticed Erin O'Toole until he replaced Julian Fantino at Veteran Affairs, talked up a storm, only to find himself running for his life.
And then of course there was the time, when he suggested he was a Top Gun, only to be shot down and revealed to be a helicopter navigator.
But you get the idea. Tool likes to talk tough, even if he can't deliver.
So this is no surprise.
It's hard to believe that John Baird could even be considered as a candidate for the Con leadership, after his disgraceful behaviour during the dark years of the Harper regime.
But the Cons are desperate. With less than a month to go before nominations close, hardly anyone has applied for the job. As one of my readers said the other day, "They got NOTHING!!!!"
So Jason Kenney is now urging his good buddy Baird to run.
He looks like the same old Andrew Scheer, the Con in the same blue suit, with the same creepy smile.
But don't be fooled. He may have only five months to go as Con leader, but his feverish obsession to try to destroy Justin Trudeau has never been greater.
And he has never acted so disturbed and so dangerous.
As we all know, Peter MacKay has been trying to make us believe that he's more of a manly manly leader than Justin Trudeau.
By acting like an ape, weaponizing misogyny, again. And trying to label Trudeau as a sissy or a girly boy, for the "crime" of practicing yoga.
But sadly for MacKay, his ugly smear appears to be backfiring.
After the bellowing ape was revealed to be nothing more than a squawking chicken.
The last time the Cons held a leadership contest, just about everybody agreed that there were too many candidates, and it was real horror show..
But this time the Cons have another problem, an incredible contracting leadership race.
Where there are now so few candidates, some are worried it could end up looking like the coronation of Peter MacKay.
The polls suggest that Peter MacKay is the front runner in the Con leadership race.
And he is the only candidate so far to have paid the entrance fee.
Just one week after officially launching his leadership campaign, MacKay has submitted the full $300,000 fee required to officially enter the race to replace Andrew Scheer.
But if anyone thinks that MacKay is the one who can give the Cons a brighter future, they are doomed to be sadly disappointed.
For he seems to want to take the Cons back to the past.
For most of his short and undistinguished parliamentary career, Erin O'Toole has been little more than a mouth that roars.
An annoying but relatively harmless Harper stooge.
But now he's running for the Con leadership. Again.
And he's posing as a warrior, or a great defender of Canada.
Nine years ago Justin Trudeau offered Peter MacKay a chance to fight him in a charity boxing match.
MacKay turned him down, so Patrick Brazeau took his place. Only to wish he hadn't.
But despite that, MacKay now says he'd welcome a chance to fight Trudeau.
There are many reasons I dislike Peter MacKay, starting with the way he sought to pleasure his master Stephen Harper, by trying to turn this country into a prison state.
The way he attacked our precious Supreme Court for daring to stand up for our Canadian values was absolutely disgusting, as was his ugly serial misogyny.
His Great War on Marijuana was right out of Reefer Madness.
As I watched Peter MacKay officially launch his leadership campaign this morning, I felt like I was travelling back in time.
Back to the days when MacKay was Stephen Harper's most faithful stooge, even though he had stolen his party from him.
So the idea that Dumbo could now ride to the rescue of Canada is totally outrageous...
It was just another day in the Con clown leadership race, but before it was over the real face of the Harper Party had been revealed. Again.
And it couldn't be more ugly.
Or for the Cons more like the Day of the Dead.
It was Andrew Scheer's fatal flaw, the one that more than all the others cost him the election.
His religious fanaticism that made it impossible for many women and LGBT Canadians to trust him.
So not surprisingly those who would replace Scheer are desperate not to make the same mistake.
And one leadership candidate, Pierre Poilievre, is even trying to whitewash his past.
In one of my recent posts I mentioned that Stephen Harper had been spotted stumbling around in his zombie crypt.
And was threatening to intervene in the Con leadership race, to make sure the party he created remained the Harper Party.
Well now EVERYONE should take cover.
Because Great Zombie Leader has left the land of the living dead...
