Wednesday, December 04, 2013
Rob Ford: The Mock Satanists and The Movie
Golly. Because I've been so busy trying to stay on top of the Senate scandal, I haven't been able to write anything about the continuing adventures of Rob Ford.
But they are continuing. And it's still a horror show.
Even though the Fordzilla can't seem to understand that he's only the mayor in name only.
Premier Kathleen Wynne and Toronto Deputy Mayor Norm Kelly on Tuesday further sidelined scandal-plagued Mayor Rob Ford by holding a cordial, largely symbolic meeting at Queen’s Park.
So now he's fuming. Or permanently pissed eh?
Except when he's trying to explain why he's always getting his picture taken with the wrong kind of people.
“I take pictures with every single person that wants to take a picture with me. So if they put it up on the website what can I do? I wasn’t aware that I was taking a picture with the Hells Angels,” Ford said.
Or joining his brother Doug to chase away the Rob Ford impersonator and the mock satanist bus tour.
Coun. Doug Ford filmed, followed and called the police on a Mayor Rob Ford impersonator Sunday afternoon, accusing him of “stalking” the Fords’ mother — a charge the actor calls “ludicrous.”
The “Rofo Bus Tour” was set up by Cloven Path Ministries, a shock comedy group of self-styled Satan worshippers. McKay was hired to wait on Weston Wood Rd. in a Volvo he borrowed from one of the Cloven Path members. When the tour buses arrived, he would stumble through the adjacent Douglas Ford Park — named after Ford’s late father — acting as an inebriated Mayor Ford.
So now the mock satanists are looking for a new van and a new driver.
“We had to cancel tour five on Sunday, because our driver had become so apprehensive about the police presence and the nature of our ministry,” Wilkes explains. “You gotta remember: not everyone understands that we are an evangelical Satanic outreach. They associate us with yesterday’s devil, with the sacrificing of the family pet and the mutilating and the road kill. We don’t do that sort of thing! Today’s devil wants you to hold a position of high influence, wealth, and power.”
And Rob Ford is no doubt looking for a new photo opportunity. Because he's desperate to keep his face in the news eh?
There are only so many football games he can attend...
Only so many ways to meet the Ford Nation.
And since he lost his power, his radio show, and his television show, he's been forced to lower his sights.
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is heading to YouTube, and will relaunch his Ford Nation program online before Christmas, according to his brother, Coun. Doug Ford.
Or shrink them.
And the good news? Rob Ford really is the mayor in name only.
And Chris Farley came back from the dead and made a movie about him...
Oh well. Chris Farley would have been great as Rob Ford.
But in the meantime I'm still waiting for Olivia Chow to announce she's running for mayor.
So I can go work for her.
And we can end this Con nightmare once and for all...
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