Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Bigots ,Boo Gays, and the Night The Party Died















What can you say when in the gay capital of the world they had to cancel this big Halloween party in the Castro?

Because of the threat of violence.

The festivities started decades ago as a homegrown celebration for San Francisco's gay and lesbian community, but has drawn a scarier element in recent years. In 2002, five people were stabbed. Three years ago, someone wandered the crowds wielding a chain saw.

Last year, nine revelers were shot when a confrontation between two groups of young people erupted into gunfire, despite ramped-up security.

What can you say when a gay party...to which everyone gay and straight is invited...is attacked by thugs? Just like the ones who used to attack gay people on Canada's National Homophobia Day.

What can you say about the insane hate aimed at gay love? And the fevered way they maul our lives.

The Gays. They are all over the news lately...And why shouldn't they be? What other topic evokes such anger? What other subject can cause a conversation to devolve into sermons, with people intoning the Bible like the sky was swirling above them in almighty agreement? Certainly not the wars causing all that death. Maybe evolution? Science? Booor-ring! Let's talk about the Gays!

Or exclude us from their world.

While the center stage of the drama "Boo Gays" is occupied by conservative religious groups there are other players lurking in the background, over by the fake tree and cardboard sun. This is a group of people who don't identify themselves as homophobic, per se, (who would want to be some crazy Bible-thumper?) but still don't accept homosexuals as "regular" people.

A gay couple raising a family is somehow weirder than housewives swinging around stripper poles at the local Crunch for their husbands. Hmm.

What can you say about all of that that doesn't sound despairing?

Except this...no matter what the homophobes say or do we're fighting for our human rights...and we'll never stop fighting until we win.. and we get them. As we will. And we're left the fuck alone to live our lives....like everyone else.

Oh yes...and that no matter what they say or do...

Halloween is and always will be Gay Christmas !!!

Have a happy and safe one everyone....

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Halloween and my Top Five Scary Movies













It's the night before Halloween and not even a miserable carved pumpkin is stirring in the bunker. For some reason...and remind me NOT to think too much about it...the Pagan Festival doesn't seem to be as popular with the French guys as it is with the English ones.

And the worse thing is I can't even go OUT and party. I busted up my foot playing soccer on Saturday and I'm hobbling around on crutches.

Oh well. At least there are all those Halloween movies on TV....

I'm not really a big fan of horror films.... but when I saw this list....and being bored out of my mind...I thought I'd come up with my own TOP 5 SCARY MOVIES.

So here they are....

(5) HARPERSTEIN'S HIDDEN AGENDA:

I haven't seen this movie yet....but the trailer is terrifying. Especially the part when the mask falls off.....John Baird screams.... Dion faints....the wingnuts wail...and Harperstein starts knifing Canada.

(4) THE STALKING :

This movie is a recurring nightmare....and a GAY one too!!! My friends don't think it's THAT scary. But how would YOU like being wooed by Aaron Unruh?

Why is he ALWAYS coming after me ? And is he wearing a hockey mask or is that his real face?

(3) JAWS:

Seriously now...I think this horror movie had the biggest influence on my life. I used to LOVE to swim in the sea at night. Now I don't dare....not even in Lake Ontario. Which is just as well. Because if the Big Eel doesn't get you...the toxic chemicals will.

(2) PSYCHO

This was also a seminal movie. I never take a shower in a hotel without locking the door.
Especially when S├ębastien is in there with me. I'd hate to have the Jamaican maid come in....and start screaming...or praying for us..

(1) THE SHINING:

I don't know why of all horror movies this one really gave me the chills...instead of just shocks. It certainly wasn't Jack Nicholson...he just made me laugh.

Maybe it was the scene when the wife comes across the typewriter with the same sentence typed over and over again. That was pretty scary. Writer's block always is.

Or maybe it was this scene....



Wow. Still as spooky as when I first saw it.

And the little tricycle does remind me of another REALLY scary story I read the other day....about a guy who loved his bike too much.

Now that's TERRIFYING.

Although that does give me an idea.

Guess what I'm going to give that old homophobe Aaron Unruh for Christmas this year?

Happy Halloween everyone!!

Monday, October 29, 2007

The Dalai Lama and Harper's Hidden Agenda














OK....anyone care to guess the REAL reason Great Fat Leader held this ridiculous photo op with the Dalai Lama today?

(1) STEPHEN HARPER IS A HUMAN RIGHTS CHAMPION?

Er...no. Just ask the brutal human rights abusers of Colombia.

In a thinly veiled slap at U.S. congressional Democrats who oppose a trade deal with Colombia until the country's rights record improves, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper used a trip to Bogota to present himself as a steadier ally.

"We are not going to say fix all your social, political and human rights problems and only then will we engage in trade relations with you. That's a ridiculous position,"


Or dig up the rotting remains of the Court Challenges Program. The one that was designed to protect the human rights of CANADIANS.


(2) STEPHEN HARPER TRIES TO DO EVERYTHING GEORGE BUSH DOES?

Hmmm...yes...but in this case....believe it or not..... it's MORE than just another Chimpy blowjob.

(3) STEPHEN HARPER THINKS CHINA NEEDS CANADA MORE THAN CANADA NEEDS CHINA.

Gawd...I hope not. I LOVE living in one of the richest countries on earth.

(4) STEPHEN HARPER IS A SECRET BUDDHIST.

Wrong. Great Fat Leader is a secret born again CHRISTIAN fanatic...who belongs to a weird sect that believes that daddy knows best ...gays are an abomination....America is beautiful....and the world could end TOMORROW.

Give up?

OK. Here's another clue....

Why do you think Stephen Harper announced his insane War on Drugs at a SALVATION ARMY office in Winnipeg?

And why do you think he appointed JAKE EPP...the head of a Christian College and a notorious homophobe....

"What is needed is not protection for homosexuals, but for Canadians who are not deviant."

To of all things the rigged panel on Afghanistan.... on the eve of an election?

OK.....if you don't get it now you never will...so here's the answer.

Stephen Harper is trying to mobilize his demoralized religious wingnut base...by sending out coded messages that if they help him get a majority, religion will be BACK....with a vengeance.

But of course he has to be discreet. Because now he's a MODERATE....and has no HIDDEN AGENDA. Right?

So Jason Kenney, his ambassador to the wingnut court, has been very busy secretly promising religious groups a glorious New Day in Canada. From a Defence of Religion Act ..... to a promise that faith-based agencies will get the lion's share of government subsidized charity work.

So they can make life hell for gay kids in our schools . And shove crazy religion down the throats of poor Canadians along with their supper.

The bottom line:

If you love freedom...and you believe that religion should stay in churches and temples and OUT of public life.

And if you love Canada and our precious Canadian values. You better be ready to fight for them...and soon.

Because crazy religion is coming our way...

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Crazy Religion and the End of the World

















A few questions on a fall afternoon...

If we know where this bomb is going?

The US Department of Defence has asked for an additional $88 million to modify B2 stealth bombers so that they can carry a 30,000lb bomb called the massive ordnance penetrator

And George Bush...who looks crazier every day....warns about the Third World War.

"if you're interested in avoiding World War III . . . you ought to be interested in preventing [Iran] from having the knowledge necessary to make a nuclear weapon."

But we KNOW he is the one who would start it.

And might even welcome it because he believes that Armageddon in the Middle East will lead to the return of "The Messiah."

Just like the equally crazy Ahmedinejad believes that Armageddon will bring back the "Hidden Imam."

Ahmadinejad has publicly declared that one of his missions is to hasten and prepare for the return of the Mahdi.The way to hasten Mahdi's return, Ahmadinejad believes, is to hasten Armageddon.

And meanwhile at the Vatican....a former Nazi Pope beatifies 498 priests who were killed during the Spanish Civil War.

The Vatican staged its largest mass beatification ceremony ever yesterday, putting 498 victims of religious persecution before and during Spain's civil war on the path to possible sainthood.

Tens of thousands attended the ceremony, which drew criticism from some in Spain who saw it as implicit criticism of the Socialist government as it takes a critical look at the country's civil war past and the fascist dictatorship of General Francisco Franco.


But doesn't apologize for the horror his fascist side caused.

And here at home one of Bennie's beastly bishops bans James Loney from addressing a conference on social justice?

Not because he is gay....but because he has a partner.

"I asked if it was because I was gay, and the answer was, 'No, it's because you are in a relationship with man...."

And all over the world people attack others and blow themselves up to please their primitive bloodthirsty gods.

Why are we celebrating ANY kind of religion?

When its monstrous sicko craziness is threatening to destroy us all...

Friday, October 26, 2007

Dust My Broom Bites the Dust











Uh oh. Call Sherlock Holmes or the dog food detective Steve Janke. Someone has taken down Dust My Broom. Or so the redneck bigot that runs that site would have us believe.

Thanks to those who put in the extra effort to take us down, you know who you are.
We'll be back.


Yikes!!. That's scary. Who knew a picture of a guy sucking another guy's cock could BLOW a gay porn site?

Or did it?

Hmmm....let's line up the likely suspects:

(1) THE GAY AGENDA: Possible but unlikely. I say possible because I've never met it so who knows WHAT it could do. Unlikely because why would it want to take down a post or a site that so clearly demonstrates what crude, no class pigs so many homophobes are? With enemies like that who needs friends?

(2) MONTREAL SIMON: Impossible. (sigh) I'd like to think I have so many millions of readers that when I directed them to the Dust My Bitch site it collapsed like a house of rednecks. Or just melted away...like a big steaming heap of human shit ...under assault by millions of hungry flies. But unfortunately.....um.....I wish.....I REALLY wish...but.....NO. (sob)

(3) STEPHEN TAYLOR: Possible. Somehow I don't think that the Stephen Harper Party's Online Propaganda Chief would have been too pleased to discover a picture of a cocksucker on his Blogging Tory website. I suspect Great Fat Leader would have been VERY displeased. It's bad enough that the Liberals are trying to portray him and his thugs as crooks. But to be seen as gay pornographers would be even WORSE.

(4) THE BIGOT DARCEY : Very likely. You don't think that after sobering up and realizing that he had exposed HIS dirty parts in public...and that even Dr. Dawggie wouldn't be visiting his nasty site again (we can only hope)....and not having the guts or the decency to apologize....Darcey himself decided to knock the offending post off the net before it could do him any more damage?

You don't think he took down his OWN site.....blamed that on others.... and tried to make it appear like he's a "Free Canadian" MARTYR....instead of a creepy redneck and no-class booze and glue homophobe?

I do.

But of course...I would be delighted to be proved wrong. Since Darcey seems to know who did the dastardly deed why doesn't he TELL US?

Yup. I thought so. Nothing. Nada. Just the silence of the loons.

Hmmm....you know Watson I don't think the Dust My Bitch site melted down at all. I think Darcey did.

How sad.

How predictable.

What a LOSER.

Cue the song....



UPDATE:

The bigot is back. Now we wait to see whether he has learned his lesson.

I hope so. Because to fuck up is human.

And EVERYONE deserves a second chance....

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Are the Blogging Tories a Gay Porn Site?

I love to read The Blogging Tories. I love the call of the right-wing loons. The sounds of all those old angry white men typing madly away in their housecoats. The spectacular view it affords me of the rectum of the Stephen Harper Party. The smell of insanity in the morning.

So imagine how happy I was to discover that now I can read it AND jerk off at the same time.....because now it's also a gay porn site!!! (NOTE: This was a link to a Darcey post at Dust My Broom that showed a guy sucking off another...and illustrated a story about adoption...called Gay Agenda 1 Commonsense 0. The picture had nothing to do with the story but was just designed to smear all gay people...but of course only smeared its author.)

But then I realized it was just the old Alberta redneck Darcey from Dust My Bitch letting his homophobia flare up again like a bad case of syphilis ( It's bad there) And turning HIMSELF on...

I mean most of the stuff he writes is just the usual right-wing drivel. He loves Kate MacMillan, loves the word "heteronormative" and goes ga ga over our boys in uniform. I mean REALLY ga ga. As in BLOW them if he could.

He also spends a lot of time portraying native people as worthless drunks...even though he is Metis himself. And of course he HATES Hugo Chavez.

In his favour he also hates Kathie Shaidle...just like I do.... and he likes the blues.

But unfortunately the redneck also has an obsession with gay men. He seems to think that we all want to fuck him in the ass...which if you look at his photo is absolutely ridiculous. Any gay man who went after that would have to be really DESPERATE.

Which is ok. So-called "straight men" come after my dick all the time. But unfortunately for the Darcey Bitch he also has an attitude problem....that this August post of his kinda sums up.

When another man that you know is gay tries to touch you the immediate hetero-normalitive response is to put him on the ground, kick out every single tooth and punch him in the throat.

I’ve tried to gently intervene and have provided a few little warnings like a brisk backhand or have tripped him on the pavement so he falls hard and impregnates himself with rocks, starts to cry and then I pour beer on him but it just doesn’t seem to be working.

So please Dr. Laura, please help me find Allah’s way before I pull out my great big manly sword and jihad the infidel into mincemeat

You know he might call it satire. But I call it violent. And ignorant.

Darcey seems to think that violence aimed at gay men is funny. When it isn't.

He seems to think that we have an agenda...when all we have is a burning desire for equality and freedom.

He seems to think that he can bully us ...like the guy he jokes about in that post ....because we're weak and won't fight back.

When in fact we WILL fight back. And me and most of my closest friends could make ANY redneck homophobes lick their own blood off the pavement in about ten or twelve seconds.

You see this dum redneck doesn't seem to understand that he may have come from a hard place.

But many of us came from even harder places....and had to fight for EVERYTHING. Just like I did. In a place of beer and blades and steel toed boots. Where no quarter was given or expected.

Darcey might have grown up with the blues. But I grew up with this music and these guys...



Aren't we BEAUTIFUL? Aye. Is there a problem here? No. Stab um anyways. Ha ha ha. Welcome to Ned culture...from the Knife Capital of the World.

Where..... dear Dr. Laura.... a redneck from Alberta would be GUTTED.... like a deer.

The moral of this story? Don't do booze AND glue when you blog..

And before you shoot your dirty mouth off about beating up a gay man.

Make damn sure you know who you're planning to attack....coz homophobia, violence, and THAT kind of ignorance can be such a deadly combination.

At least that's what I told Dr. Laura...

-----------------------------------------------------

P.S. Stephen Taylor might want to practice explaining the B.T. policy on pornography....and homophobia.

Because I sent the URL and a BT screen shot to several media organizations saying you GOTTA cover this....because this is a Canadian FIRST!!

And they sounded REALLY interested....

Is Now the Time for Stephane Dion to Quit?
















I suppose it finally had to happen. After weeks of denial....and searching for the pony in the horseshit...the awful truth about Stephane Dion seems to be settling in.

Now I know that Dion isn't the only reason the Liberals are sinking.

But I agree with Gordon Gibson when he says what EVERYONE knows...that Dion is now the BIGGEST problem.

What is this "one serious problem"? It is simply this: St├ęphane Dion is the least effective Liberal leader, no contest, for at least 100 years.

Not because Dion isn't a decent and smart man. But because he's such a lousy politician.

If I needed any more proof of that...and I don't....a recent interview with Daniel Lessard, French Canada's Don Newman, only reminded me of just how lousy he really is.

Dion had managed to hold his own quite nicely for most of the interview...by linking Stephen Harper to George Bush whenever he could. Until the very last question.

Lessard asked him about Jean Chretien's book and his statement that Quebecers wouldn't have been able to separate if the YES side had won the referendum by only a small margin.

Dion should have replied by saying that if Quebecers had really wanted to separate nobody would have been able to hold them back. But that was ANCIENT history...time had moved on. And so had he. Quebecers had now been officially recognized as a nation he was PROUD to belong to. And he was just focused on doing what he could do to make the story of the Great French Nation in North America even MORE amazing...blah blah blah...

Instead he put on his wacky professor and Captain Canada hat and went on and on about how you couldn't destroy a country with those kind of numbers...and how the courts had upheld this and that. I believe he mumbled something about the Balkans at one point.... and blah blah blah. Reminding Quebecers why they HATE him so much, and blowing any brownie points he may have scored before.

So yes...I do agree that Dion is absolutely hopeless. And that he HAS to go. I just don't agree with Gibson on the question of when and how.

Especially not this how...

So, the easiest way to get rid of Mr. Dion as leader is have him lose an election. No problem, no blood on any Liberal hands and the voters are supreme. Only a few dozen remaining Liberal seats after that wipeout, you say? Proves the point. At least rebuilding could then begin.

Only an old wanker could suggest that deliberately losing an election...and giving Stephen Harper a mandate to destroy this country...is ok if it saves the Liberal Party... by destroying it first. Huh?

As for the timing ......I believe the time is NOW.

Dion should resign as soon as possible and the Deputy Leader Ignatieff should take over and lead the Liberals into the next election.

With the agreement that AFTER the election there would be a full leadership review and if necessary a new leadership contest.

Remember I'm not a Liberal or an Ignatieff supporter either. But his arrival at such a dramatic moment would electrify the Liberals and other Canadians...just like the arrival of Lucien Bouchard re-energized the YES side during the last Quebec referendum.

Harper's plans for a quick blitzkrieg would be stymied as he paused to figure out the shifting ground. His whole campaign strategy aimed at Dion would have to be completely revamped.

The only thing he could hope for would be another minority government....and that would just KILL him.

It would of course be a bitter pill for a man like Stephane Dion to swallow.













He'd have to admit defeat. And he is far too proud to be pushed out. So he'd have to make the big decision and choose between his sinking political career and his country.


Be brutally honest with himself and tell Canadians that he tried his best.. but he FAILED. That he finally realized that just having good ideas in politics isn't the same as being a good politician....and being able to communicate them to people.

How he'd like to have a chance to change all that. But he can't afford to take that chance because Stephen Harper is such a menace to Canada that the country can't risk failure.

So he's going to ask others to try to deliver the message that he couldn't because saving Canada is all that counts ...and that's all he ever wanted to do...blah blah blah...

It would be so painful and so hard for Dion I'm not optimistic he could ever bring himself to do that. And I would feel sorry for him. But if he really wants to be remembered as a real Captain Canada.

Instead of the loser who dragged his country down with him.

Now is his big chance....

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

J.K. Rowling, Dumbledore, and the Gay Fool












I've been trying to avoid the ridiculous tempest in a broom closet caused by J.K. Rowling's outing of this old wizard. But as I was racing up Yonge Street this morning... to buy a part for my computer.... who did I come across but J.K. herself!!!

Ok ok .....I didn't actually SEE her...just gazillions of her little fans...filing into an old theatre where the billionaire writer was going to read from her latest book.

Which is just as well because if I had come face to face with her I would have had to admit that I haven't read ANY of her books. And I've only seen ONE of the Harry Potter films and it was.....um.....ok.

But seriously...if I HAD bumped into her I would have thanked her for getting kids to stop texting so much and actually read books again.

And for making a gay person part of her fantasy world....just like they are part of the real world. Because if the inclusion of ONE gay character in a story can cause such a fuss we've obviously got a PROBLEM.

I also would have offered J.K. my hearty congratulations for whipping up the religious wingnuts.

At last the author, a Ms. J.K. Rowling, revealed the revolting truth: Dumbledore is a gay homosexual who doesn’t deserve to live on G-d’s green earth. Not only was Rowling obviously pushing Satan’s agenda, she was pushing the homosexual agenda as well.

So they could expose their dirty parts in public again....and show everyone what sicko homophobes they really are.

And oh yes....I also would have told J.K. to ignore this gay fool.

We can only conclude that Dumbledore saw his homosexuality as shameful and inappropriate to mention among his colleagues and students. His silence suggests a lack of personal integrity that is completely out of character.

Like a lisping weakling, Dumbledore is a painfully selfless, celibate, dead gay man, so forgive me if I don't see Rowling's revelation as great progress.

Oh really? Or ....as we say in Gay....PUH - LEAZE.

First of all what DID he expect the old headmaster to tell his students....that Grindelwald was his gay lover....but he turned into a Nazi....so he had to kill him?

Wouldn't that be a little.....um...... disturbing? For kids.

And secondly does he really suggest that since the old wizard doesn't live up to his view of a gay character....we're better off having no gay character at all?

Yup.

We are now all free to imagine a gay life more whole and fulfilling than the one Rowling gave Dumbledore. But it would have been better if she had just left the old girl to rest in peace.

Hmmm.... or maybe it would be EVEN better if the fool got a life...and gave his hysterical wankery a rest.

The fact is the whole silly controversy WILL give parents a new way to introduce the notion of homosexuality to their children. Not in the absurd way the gay fool thinks they should. But in a gentle way made for kids.

Something like this...

Dumbledore and Grindelwald were great friends and loved each other....just like mummy and daddy are great friends and love each other.

Period.

Because teaching tolerance to children is one of the greatest things you can do for them.

J.K. Rowling just made that a little easier.

Good for her...

Seven Thousand Lashes for Being Gay













Of all the barbarous Islamofascist regimes in the Middle East I think I hate the one in Saudi Arabia more than any other.

The 9/11 hijackers were mostly Saudis...as is of course Osama Bin Laden.

The crazy Wahhabi fanatics that they give billions to are responsible for producing suicide bombers all over the world.

The crown princes send money to Sunni insurgents in Iraq to kill Shiites and American soldiers.

But nobody does anything but kiss their royal asses ....because of course they've got oil.

So their kingdom remains a corrupt and brutal place....where women are treated like farm animals....the religious police act like the Gestapo....people are routinely tortured or beheaded in the street.












And outrages like this one are allowed to happen.

The floggings began on Tuesday. The men were dragged into the square, their shirts removed and they where whipped. They were then returned to prison. The process was repeated on Wednesday and will continue daily until all 7,000 lashes have been administered.

Shari'a law, as interpreted and enforced in Saudi Arabia, allows sentences ranging from imprisonment and flogging to death for “deviant sexual behaviour.”


There have been some small protests.

But what good will they do as long as the West continues to kiss their asses because they've got oil....and we're such oil junkies?

You know I think I can quite truthfully say that the day those barbaric religious fanatics are smoked.

And the corrupt rulers of that anti-semitic and homophobic terrorist kingdom end up hanging from lamp posts.

Will be one of the happiest days of my life...

General Hillier's Secret Mission to Change Canada
















I see that General Blow Hard has arrived in Kandahar on a surprise visit. Just to "visit his soldiers." Right.

And of course it has NOTHING to do with the Throne Speech where Prime Minister Chickenhawk vowed to keep us in Afghanistan until 2011. But he'll meet with the media later. You KNOW he will.

Just like you know I hate this war in Afghanistan for a whole bunch of reasons....not the least of which is having to argue with some of my best friends all the time... trying to convince them that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

I hate it because the NATO mission doesn't have enough soldiers or resources to carry out the mission. And never will.

I hate it because the conflict been turned into a white hat/ black turban cartoon of a war when the reality is far more complex.

In academic circles, the biggest issue now is: `Are we shooting the right guys?' It stems from the realization that the Taliban is a motley bunch that shifts like a virus and is riddled with seams," said van Kappen, a senior analyst with the Hague Centre for Strategic Studies.

What the Dutch are finding in Uruzgan is that there are many groups who have joined the Taliban for all kinds of reasons – business interests, family reasons, tribal conflicts, smuggling, drugs – layers and layers of factors far too complex for us to ever truly understand.


I hate it because it has made ALL of our political parties look bad. The Stephen Harper Party wants to use it to please George Bush....and to pump up cheap patriotism to win themselves votes.The Liberals want to try to suck and blow at the same time. And the NDP wants us to break our promise to stay there until 2009.

I hate it because these hacks rigged the Afghanistan Study Group...even though the real lives of our soldiers are at stake.

I hate it because it has turned most of our national media into nothing more than pathetic cheerleaders.

But I think that even more than ALL of that I hate Blow Hard Hillier....the most yankee worshipping General we've ever had....for using the the war in Afghanistan...for political purposes.












By setting up Operation Connection. Which masquerades as a recruiting operation. But is really an attempt to change our whole Canadian culture into a more warlike one. And make our military just another cog in the crazy Pentagon war machine.

As Brian Stewart of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation reports in this video...Operation Connection is nothing more than a giant propaganda exercise.

I know it's 17 minutes long...but unless you watch it you won't know what's really going on...or understand why General Blow Hard turned up in Kandahar so soon after the Throne Speech.

Hint...hint....it's all about a suitable backdrop.

You know I hate arguing with my friends over Afghanistan because I know their intentions are noble...and their hearts are in the right place.


But if they can't see how Rick Hillier is using the war and the lives of our troops to try to change our country...by acting more like a politician than a General...then they must have blinkers on.

And if they don't see how THAT threatens our democratic system AND our sovereignty. Then nothing I will ever say will ever change their minds.

And they'll wake up one day in a country they won't recognize...

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Canada and the Dancing Boys of Afghanistan













I must admit I roared with laughter when I saw that fifty-one percent of Afghans think their country is heading in the right direction.

"There's no consensus. It's not everyone who has a positive view," said Keith Neuman of Environics. "But more often than not, people feel that things are better than they were."

Even though they're not.

Afghanistan's defense minister asked on Thursday for more money and equipment to fight soaring Taliban violence as America's Pentagon chief criticized NATO allies for failing to deliver promised aid.

That rising violence comes as NATO commanders say they still face shortages in troops, trainers, helicopters and other equipment needed to fight the war.

If that's better..... what's worse?

But then most Afghans don't even know we're there.

Even in the south of the country, where Canadian forces have lost most of the 71 soldiers who have died in the country so far, 90 per cent of Afghans polled believe it is the United States that is trying to protect them.

So what the fuck do you expect? Do you REALLY think you can carry out a proper poll in a country at war where most people fear both sides...and are just going to tell pollsters what they think they want to hear?

And not just any ordinary country either. A barbarous and corrupt Islamic Republic, where men are hanged for adultery, women are second class citizens and jailed for running away from their designated husbands...if they don't burn themselves first. Where gays are jailed for being gay. People are tortured for anything.

And the dancing boys of Northern Afghanistan are the life of the party.




Young boys are being sexually abused in Afghanistan in line with a tradition where they are bought by older men to dance at parties.The practice of "bacha baazi", meaning "boy-play", is enjoying a resurgence in the North of Afghanistan where ownership is seen as a status symbol by militia leaders.

Dancers, known as "bacha bereesh" or "beardless boys", are under 18, with 14 being the "ideal" age. Owners or "kaatah" meet at bacha baazi parties in large halls where the boys dance late into the night, before being sexually abused.

"Some men enjoy playing with dogs, some with women. I enjoy playing with boys."

"I am married, but I prefer boys to women," he adds. "You can't take women with you to parties in this region, and you can't make them dance. These boys are our prestige."

Unless of course they don't perform...and then they beat them like dogs...or their wives.

Hallah allah hallellujah. The Islamic Republican of Assghanistan.Where half the population thinks things are looking up .....from the bottom of the 14th century. While the other half probably wants to kill us....if only they knew we were there.

And to make matters worse many Canadians STILL believe it's about reconstruction.

Even as the Americans bomb the shit out of the place.....



And they're on OUR side too...isn't that inspiring? Bringing civilization AND homophobia to Afghanistan one bomb at a time.


But wait... Isn't taking homophobia to a backward Islamic Republic rather like taking idiots to Ottawa?

Or bringing civilization to a place like that a waste of time...unless you've got 1500 years to spare?

“Things won't change,” says the soldier who has served previously in Bosnia and Haiti.

Citing the corruption in government and the Afghan national police, and the fierce tribal rivalries that divide the country, he believes Afghanistan will fall back into chaos and civil war whether Canada leaves in 18 months, four years or a decade from now.


And don't you love what that U.S. marine said?

“When the Canadians are attacked, they worry about civilian casualties. When we're attacked, we hunt them down and kill them.”

So much for our great NATO mission. Will someone please remind me what we're doing in that backward hellhole?

Because sometimes I forget...

Friday, October 19, 2007

Lucky Dube: Death of a Reggae Hero

















When the call came in from London early this morning I couldn't believe it. And then when I did I was so sad and so angry. Some miserable criminal bastards had murdered Lucky Dube

How COULD they?

Even more than the great Bob Marley, Lucky Dube (Doo-Bay) was my greatest reggae hero. I loved his songs from the first time I heard them. And when I finally had a chance to go to one of his concerts it was MAGICAL.

Lucky, his band, the backup singers and the Zulu dancers were absolutely fantastic. I got really close to the stage and tried.... as best as a klutzy white boy could.... to dance like them. Lucky looked down at me and smiled. It was the BEST reggae show I ever went to.

Lucky had so many great songs...from his anti-apartheid anthems like Prisoner, Slave, and House of Exile...to other more spiritual and joyful ones like Jah Live, Feel Irie, Reggae Strong. And so many others.

Unfortunately there aren't that many videos to choose from. But because he stood for resistance, freedom, love and a better world for EVERYONE....and his story was South Africa's story too.

I thought I'd play this one first...




You know...if my greatest living hero Nelson Mandela is the freedom heart of South Africa...for me Lucky Dube was its freedom singing voice.

The people of that beautiful country overcame the horror of Apartheid. Now they must deal with its ugly scars and stop killing each other.

Lucky, a soft spoken gentle man who never uttered a hateful word, tried to speak out against that crazy violence. But in the end it consumed him.

The only thing that consoles me now is that I KNOW that he will always be remembered... and his music will never die. Because he was a good man and a great artist.

And because you can kill the man, but you can't kill his music.

Like this song called Remember Me...



Oh brother. We WILL remember,

You and your beautiful freedom music WILL live forever.

But tonight I'm just so sad...

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Sex, Rednecks and Burritos:Who Googles What?













Ever since I discovered that I had a lot of readers abroad I've been tormented by one burning question. How did that faithful reader in Mongolia hear about my blog? How did he or she FIND me?

And am I really THAT famous?

So I decided to check out how visitors get to my site..... and when I looked at some of the search keywords tonight ...I have to admit I was shocked....

Multiple blow jobs...Pig fuck man photo ...Saskatchewan rednecks.....Enema ...Iraqi fuck American.....Gay sex signals in public toilets....

Golly. If only I had known there was such a demand for rednecks, sex signals, and enemas, I would have written so much MORE about them.

Although I was also a bit annoyed....I mean how many times have I got to tell that pervert in Saudi Arabia that while I do write about PIG FUCKS....and MAN...and PHOTO... I NEVER write about them all together. So don't get your hopes up. Sorry.

But then I saw this Google survey and I felt a lot better.

Isn't it comforting to know that the Taliban are still at the top of the Google Charts.... in Pakistan? Who knew?

Or that Chileans are fascinated with gays AND Nazis?


And that David Beckham is still number one.... in Venezuela.

As for Canada... isn't it GREAT to think this one might actually fool the world into thinking we're still cool.

"Marijuana" - Canada, United States, Australia

Although how do we ever apologize for this one?

"Tom Cruise" - Canada, United States, Australia

WTF is that car bomb and burrito thing?

"Burrito" - United States, Argentina, Canada

And what does it say about us? Gulp. That we're more and more American every day? Or just that after all that marijuana we'll eat ANYTHING..

But then so will Stephen Harper...




















Holy Madunga!!!! Is that a LEADER or a Blue Burrito?

But of course it doesn't really matter. The Internet is not moralistic or sentimental. The challenge as a blogger is how to make this raw data WORK for you.


So I just want to let my faithful readers know that I am going to do my absolute darnedest to satisfy the demand out there. By trying to include multiple blow jobs,Saskatchewan rednecks, enemas, Tom Cruise, marijuana , car bombs AND burritos in EVERY post.

The only question I have now is when I include Stephen Harper on that list where will I put him? Between rednecks and blow jobs....

Or burritos and enemas?

Oh boy...that's going to be a HARD one..

----------------------------------------------------------

UPDATE:

Ooops. I just had another idea. Maybe all those Burrito seekers were just a bunch of old hippies looking for these guys....




They say the sixties died that day at Altamont. When the Hells Angels killed a man. Isn't that spooky?

I wonder how long we'll have to wait for The Day the Blue Burrito Killed Canada.

Won't THAT make a great YouTube?

The Throne Speech: Is it Time to Leave Canada?















I wanted to write about the Throne Speech today. But I just couldn't.

Life is too short. The weather in Canada is gloomy enough. And the possibility that I could soon be living in a fascist country is enough to depress ANYONE.

Besides I thought Chet summed it up well.

All I would add to that is a little advice for the Liberals: Don't fall into Harper's trap.

Retreat when you have to retreat. Pick the right moment to strike. Let Great Fat Leader get more and more frustrated and crazy...until he's foaming at the mouth.

And people start asking themselves the obvious question: Why does this yankee ass licking bully tyrant want a majority so BADLY?














And then hit him with all you have.

Oh yes...and when he presents his fascist law and order bills ask him why a Big Fat Crime Fighter would scrap the gun registry that police consult about 3,000 times a day to try to stop people from killing THEM.

Aren't our cops TOPS?

Does he REALLY want to turn our country into this one?



One for each side of the bed?

Why Great Fat Leader? Why?

But of course this pathetic yankee stooge wants to change Canada beyond recognition. And if he gets a majority that's exactly what he will do.

Saddle us with a quasi-totalitarian nightmare where women, poor people, gays and lesbians, natives and others will be treated like second class citizens. Religious fanatics will run amok. Bullied gay kids won't stand a chance.

And our country will be hollowed out and turned into a pathetic Mini Me Amerika.

I hope the Liberals and others understand that, and can stop their idiotic bickering and put Canada first.

And I'm certainly preparing to do my part.

But just in case the unthinkable happens...because these days you never know... I'm also planning to move.

Remember how I told you the other day that I had an island?

Well I really do.














Yup. Canada under a fascist government might be exciting...for a while.

And I am trying to keep things in some kind of perspective.

But if Canadians are dum enough to hand a fascist pig like Harper a majority...when they weep about it later....all I'll have to say to them is you DESERVE it.

And isn't life a beach?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Flaming Pope and the Priestly Pervert















You know when I read the story about the flaming Pope in Poland I thought it was crazy enough.

From Mother Theresa in a cinammon bun, to the Virgin Mary on a toasted cheese sandwich - images resembling religious icons are regularly spotted in unlikely places.

Now this fiery figure - photographed in a bonfire in Poland - is being hailed as Pope John Paul II making an appearance from beyond the grave.

But then I took another look at the picture and I thought it was even NUTTIER. I mean EVERYONE knows that there aren't any flames in heaven...only in hell. So WTF are those ignorant Polski peasants yapping about ?

If that's the Pope in the Bonfire he's only out because his Satanic Majesty gave him a day pass.

And that's not something to CELEBRATE. Or is it?

Besides don't these dummies know that if you want to see a flaming Pope you have to go to Rome?















Isn't that as OBVIOUS as this story?

Oh not the fact that the alleged pervert is a Canadian. That's shocking and disgusting...and will shame us in the eyes of the world.

But this part....

The lead suspect in an international pedophile investigation volunteered at a B.C. school and was a chaplain with the air cadets in Nova Scotia.

The volunteer work was part of his training at Christ of the King seminary, where Neil was studying to become a priest.

Praise the Lord. And pass the straitjackets and the handcuffs.

Crazy religion working to make the world a crazier and more dangerous place.

Look ...here's my bottom line.

Let them see the Pope in a Pepperoni Pizza. Or Mary in a Mama Burger.

Or Jesus on a fish stick....or a dental X-ray .... or in a nacho pan ....or EVERYWHERE.



Holy Madunga indeed.

Let them live in their crazy world.

Just keep them away from the children...

The Mufti Wufti and the Return to Gay Island
















I've always loved islands. I was born on one, I live on one now, and I've always wanted to visit Australia.

Although of course I really hated the one in the picture.. Too many monsters, pig heads, and flies. And the savages killed Simon. Instead of him killing them.

As I would have done when I realized who the monster really was.

Still I must say that when I heard that some guy was talking about setting up a gay island I was pretty excited.

Maybe it would be like the good old days ....before the monster came along. And we could just hang out at the beach....feast on coconuts...and stick our dicks into each other instead of pointy sticks.

It would be like Fantasy Island....without the annoying midget.

But then I discovered that the guy behind the gay island idea was this hideous Mufti Wufti....










And that his idea of Gay Island wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Uganda's leading Muslim cleric has proposed to President Yoweri Museveni that gays be rounded up and marooned on an island in Lake Victoria until they die.

"I asked President Museveni to get us an island on Lake Victoria and we take these homosexuals and they die out there," Mubajje told a news conference.

"If they die there then we shall have no more homosexuals in the country."

Talk about disappointment. Isn't genocide a bummer?

But of course I'm not surprised ....because like so many other countries in Africa... Uganda is a barbaric anti-gay shithole.

"There is a comprehensive campaign being waged against LGBT rights in Uganda. It includes government and conservative religious leaders. Now the lower end of the media — rags like Red Pepper — are adding their hate-filled voices."

"Gay and lesbian-baiting, like that which Red Pepper has engaged in before and is engaging in again, incites violence and destroys lives."

Which is why I hate Islamic fascists just as much as I hate Christian ones....or the Buddhist fascists of Burma.

And why I have some obvious questions...

Like what IS a shithole like Uganda doing hosting a Commonwealth Conference?

And why the fuck would any civilized country want to belong to that backward, corrupt, and utterly useless colonial organization?

As for the Mufti Wufti .....I only wish he would visit MY island so I could tie him upside down from a tree and use him as a kickboxing punching bag.

Or crap in his shitey sheikh hat and put it back on his head.

Or stick that Red Pepper where the sun never shines.

Or even BETTER.

Make a porky shish kebab out of him.

Just like this one....













Oh yeah I know...most gays are really nice people...peaceful and civilized.

But I've seen the monster. And it's crazy religion.

So I'm not...