Thursday, October 18, 2007

Sex, Rednecks and Burritos:Who Googles What?

Ever since I discovered that I had a lot of readers abroad I've been tormented by one burning question. How did that faithful reader in Mongolia hear about my blog? How did he or she FIND me?

And am I really THAT famous?

So I decided to check out how visitors get to my site..... and when I looked at some of the search keywords tonight ...I have to admit I was shocked....

Multiple blow jobs...Pig fuck man photo ...Saskatchewan rednecks.....Enema ...Iraqi fuck American.....Gay sex signals in public toilets....

Golly. If only I had known there was such a demand for rednecks, sex signals, and enemas, I would have written so much MORE about them.

Although I was also a bit annoyed....I mean how many times have I got to tell that pervert in Saudi Arabia that while I do write about PIG FUCKS....and MAN...and PHOTO... I NEVER write about them all together. So don't get your hopes up. Sorry.

But then I saw this Google survey and I felt a lot better.

Isn't it comforting to know that the Taliban are still at the top of the Google Charts.... in Pakistan? Who knew?

Or that Chileans are fascinated with gays AND Nazis?

And that David Beckham is still number one.... in Venezuela.

As for Canada... isn't it GREAT to think this one might actually fool the world into thinking we're still cool.

"Marijuana" - Canada, United States, Australia

Although how do we ever apologize for this one?

"Tom Cruise" - Canada, United States, Australia

WTF is that car bomb and burrito thing?

"Burrito" - United States, Argentina, Canada

And what does it say about us? Gulp. That we're more and more American every day? Or just that after all that marijuana we'll eat ANYTHING..

But then so will Stephen Harper...

Holy Madunga!!!! Is that a LEADER or a Blue Burrito?

But of course it doesn't really matter. The Internet is not moralistic or sentimental. The challenge as a blogger is how to make this raw data WORK for you.

So I just want to let my faithful readers know that I am going to do my absolute darnedest to satisfy the demand out there. By trying to include multiple blow jobs,Saskatchewan rednecks, enemas, Tom Cruise, marijuana , car bombs AND burritos in EVERY post.

The only question I have now is when I include Stephen Harper on that list where will I put him? Between rednecks and blow jobs....

Or burritos and enemas?

Oh boy...that's going to be a HARD one..



Ooops. I just had another idea. Maybe all those Burrito seekers were just a bunch of old hippies looking for these guys....

They say the sixties died that day at Altamont. When the Hells Angels killed a man. Isn't that spooky?

I wonder how long we'll have to wait for The Day the Blue Burrito Killed Canada.

Won't THAT make a great YouTube?


Anonymous said...

personally i'd put harper between rednecks and enemas....that would sort of make him a brown neck. then again, if you put the blue burrito next to laureen as a pink taco.....ew, yuck, nope, don't want to see con sex !!!!

ur merit said...

typng GAY en SEARCHNG BLOG,and wll fnd u actually

Simon said...

Hi Scout!! You know you should be careful. If the Blue Burrito gets a majority you'll be sorry...but yes enemas for sure... :)

Hi Ur!!! Wot? You type in GAY and you get ME? I'm going to sue!!!!! No. Wait. I'm flattered...
But why GAY? ;)

ur merit said...

ya ya ya,i typed Gay Blog and there you came,it's true u r famous:)really...(i'm kind of flattering u)