Sunday, September 30, 2007

Pulling the Plug on Elephant Man

Remember how I told you that Elephant Man, the Jamaican singer who has called for gay people to be shot or burned alive, was due to perform in Toronto?

And how I was planning to confront him, and jump on the stage and make a citizen's arrest if he shot off his murderous mouth?

Well I didn't have to because a funny thing happened on the way to the Kool Haus club. They felt the HEAT and pulled the plug.

And not just on him but on Sizzla too.

I know I told you in this post that unlike Elephant Man.... Sizzla had signed the Reggae Compassionate Act. But a brother wrote in to tell me that had gone back to his dirty old ways.

So good riddance to that bigot too. And BTW didn't you LOVE those anonymous comments at the end of that post? Some people in the Jamaican community just don't get it. How would THEY feel if some gay singer sang about killing them?

But then some people in the GAY community don't get it either.

Marcus Marcus. Or Mary Mary. Like it's ALL about these dizzy airheads and not banning THEIR right to bump and grind their booties to murder music. Instead of making thug homophobes PAY for advocating genocide. Huh? Wot? Don't make me barf.

Look if ANYONE thinks that young gay people are all like that...and that we are going to allow bigot monsters who sing about shooting and burning gays alive to perform freely in Canada....even if our disgusting homophobic socon government doesn't do anything to stop them...they are sadly mistaken.

As the Carleton University Students Association is about to find out.

Despite public outcry from the gay community, a Jamaican dancehall artist whose lyrics encourage the killing of gays and lesbians will perform in Ottawa next week at an event put on by the Carleton University Students Association.

Can you believe that? And WTF is their vice-president Osmel Maynes talking about?

"When we were booking (Elephant Man), we knew about all the issues...."We've been assured he will not be playing anything old. He no longer holds those views..."We support people who change their opinion and no longer hold those homophobic views..."

Bullshit. Elephant Man has NOT changed his views. And inviting him to perform at Carleton is not only a kick in the face to every gay student who goes there.

It's an attack on every other gay person in Canada as well.

Damn. Here we go again.

Let them know how you feel. Tell them that allowing a murderous homophobe to sing on a college campus is something obscene.

As for me I think I'll deliver that message personally. To them and to Elephant Man if necessary.

Isn't life cruel?

I was planning to go to Montreal on Thursday.

And now I'm going to Ottawa....

Why I Don't Really Hate Chris Crocker

If you aren't one of the 10,182,198 people who as of tonight have screened Chris Crocker's YouTube defence of Britney Spears ....which begins like this:

"How fucking DARE.(snarl) ANYONE make fun of Britney!!!! (wail) After ALL she's been through!!!! (sob) She LOVES her aunt....she's been through a DIVORCE!!!!!!"(screech)

And then gets even worse.....

You should consider yourself lucky.

And don't worry you're NOT going to see it here. Because when I screened it I had to take two tylenols and lie down with the blinds drawn and a wet towel around my head. And I'd never forgive myself if the same thing happened to you.

However..... I did find another video to play which has been seen by more than two million people. But is mercifully shorter. So you can get an idea of what this Crockermania is all about...

Now I have to admit that when I first checked out this freak show I had some really BAD thoughts. Like will somebody PLEASE grab that little queen by the neck and drown him in a bathtub?Or just slap her....

But then I read this story. and I changed my mind.

Not only because I found out he's just an effeminate and very angry gay kid who is using the internet to assert himself, and fight back against the bigots in his small Bible Belt town.

As we walked around, past the Sunglass Hut, past the pushy smells of scented candles and baking cookies, people stared hatefully at us, and mostly at him. They stared hard, with the kind of presumed right to glare that people in more sophisticated places wouldn't dare show.

And that takes guts.

But also because I began to be disturbed by the number of gay men who hate him. Just like I do.

Here are some comments from ONE big American gay blog:

Someone PLEASE stop him. I can see the clock of progress screaming back to 1950 with this thing representing gay people.

He belongs in a specimen jar in a carny freak show.

He's hurting a whole lot of gay people out there by reinforcing the stereotype in America's collective mind that we are a bunch of screaming, self serving, good for nothing, mincing flamers.

Will someone please give him a hummer? The kind with four wheels and poor gas mileage? But please back up and run over him a second time. Egomaniacs this self-serving are hard to kill.

Now I like to think the only reason I hate Chris Crocker is because he's so shallow, stupid, and loud. And because he reminds me of my first boyfriend... when he was REALLY drunk.

But then I talked it over with Sebastien and I had to admit that deep down inside I probably also hate him for being such a poor role model. You know not butch enough or dignified enough to represent the side.

Except that he isn't representing the side. Just himself. And for many gay kids trapped in small towns he isn't a poor role model. He's a hero.

And hating him..... for being who he is CRAZY. Because the kind of world I believe in is big enough for or straight.... to be who they are.

And because... although it pains me to say this....the little flamer and I do have some things in common. We're not afraid to stand up for our rights. And we both hate the haters.

Although I wouldn't DARE say it quite like this....

But he does. Somebody has to. So good for him. Or her. Now get me some tylenol...

The moral of this story? Diversity can be extremely annoying but is ultimately wonderful. There is no ONE way to be gay. Bravery comes in many forms, and can be found in the most unusual places.

And Andy Warhol was a fucking prophet when he predicted that EVERYONE could be famous for fifteen minutes.

But of course that was BEFORE YouTube. So he was wrong about the amount of time.Terribly wrong.

That's the REALLY depressing part.

Although Andy would have LOVED Chris .... so WTF?

As the big butch Sebastien said....

Suck it up Simon.

We live in a vulgar world....

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Stephane Dion and the Quebec Kamikazes

Well I'm glad to see that Paul Wells

agrees with Chantal Hebert

Who agreed with me that the Liberal least in starting to look like the Titanic.

Big parties are like big ships. They are designed to be virtually unsinkable but once they start taking on water they tend to go down quickly.

So it MUST be true. Who knew?

But now I'm worried about the Quebec kamikazes.... might think that the last thing on the mind of the Quebec wing of the party would be a fall election but the opposite is true.

For (those) who have lost confidence in his leadership abilities – or who never had any – an election can't come a day too soon.

Because fighting an election now rather than later might be a good or a really BAD idea. But wanting to fight one to lose it .... and kill their party and their leader.... is just NUTS.

Just like the fuss the kamikazes are making over this tempest in a tourtiere.

Is absolutely absurd.

Carroll implied that French Canadians are just another minority in Canada. In Quebec, saying anything of the sort is tantamount to political suicide. At this meeting of the executives of the Liberal Party, many of the Quebecers in the room found this to be offensive, and naturally, immediately ran to the Press, including Party President Marie Poulin.

Offensive? Naturally, immediately ran to the Press? Cry me a river. The poor babies. How about contrived?

Yeah yeah.... I know I know (groan) we Quebecers negotiate from nation to I'm humiliated...zzzzzzzzz....(snore)

But if anybody should be insulted by that alleged story...and the reaction... it's Chinese-Canadians NOT the Quebecois. And where is their outrage?

So these kamikazes or Iggyistas or Raeistas or whatever ....should just cool their jets. And remember that the REAL ENEMY is Stephen Harper and the majority government he drools for he can change Canada beyond recognition. Not other Liberals.

I know it isn't easy to be a Liberal in Quebec these days. The comedians and columnists are having a field day. And the cartoonists can be brutal.

Like this Serge Chapleau version of Lost in Space....with Dion saying " what do you mean disconnected?"

But the Quebec Liberals should work to change the message...not shoot the messenger...especially not on the eve of a possible election.

To pull this ridiculous hissy fit, and stab their leader in the back, or threaten to sit on their hands in the face of the neocon threat, demeans the democratic process...and themselves.

So they should stop acting like crybabies, suck it up, shut up, get back in the trenches and prepare to fight an election that could determine the fate of Canada....not just Quebec.

And oh yeah.

Listen to this song a lot....

If that doesn't wake them up...before they cut off their noses to spite their faces.

And fire them up to do battle with the REAL ENEMY....the neocon beast Harper and his dark and reactionary forces...who would rape our beautiful land and turn us into yankee stooges.

I can always play Blitzkrieg Bop....

Friday, September 28, 2007

Liberal Revolt: The Knives Come Out for Dion

We interrupt this program to bring you the latest news from the Liberal Party. And it's not good.The ship is sinking.

But instead of manning the pumps they're fighting on the bridge.

Stephane Dion's palace guard was under siege today by members of his own party who are calling on the Liberal leader to dismiss one of his closest aides over alleged remarks about Quebec.

And in the engine room.

Why doesn't Dion fall on his sword and resign, then have an emergency meeting of the executive and install Ignatieff as interim leader?

Soon they'll be in the lifeboats fighting over who gets to eat Jason Cherniak.

In short, I suggest that everybody just calm down and wait. The world will not end if you go to sleep tonight without blaming somebody for something.

You KNOW the situation is desperate....when Jason says it isn't.

Although you don't have to tell this guy. I guess when reality hurts.

But what can the Liberals do about it? Nothing. Nada. Fuckall.

They've run out of time. If anyone still thinks that Stephen Harper isn't going to go for an election as soon as he can... after dangling this carrot. They must be delusional.

Harper blew his first chance to get a majority and it still smarts. Does anyone really think he's going to blow it again... when the planets are aligned as they are...and everything is coming up smelling like roses?

Afghanistan is in neutral, the economy is booming, Dion is a dud in English Canada. Harper is fooling a lot of Canadians into believing he's a Liberal. And in Quebec .....where only one out of ten francophones now supports the Liberal Party just keeps getting worse.

Paul Leduc, a three-term mayor of a large Montreal suburb, says that he's changed his mind about running for the Liberals and that one of the party's household names provided him with phone numbers for journalists and urged him to go public with his story.

If you were Stephen Harper wouldn't YOU strike now? All he has to do is battle to a draw in English bribing them with tax cuts. And scoop up his majority in Quebec.

Which leaves the Liberals facing some really hard choices. Knife the leader in the back now and go into an election campaign bitterly divided. Or put on a show of unity and throw themselves into a campaign many of them secretly want to lose....and spend the next few years blaming each other.

Or cave on the Throne Speech, look weak, and be left propping up the Harper government.

Which right now looks to me like a choice between a quick death, and a slow lingering one.

Of course it's not ALL their fault. Power did corrupt them absolutely. But they are also the victims of history.

They've been left holding the bag for Trudeau's vision of a strong central government. It worked for them when separatism was a threat. But now that it isn't.... it doesn't win them any votes in English Canada. And they can't offer Quebecers ANYTHING.

While Harper, who believes in slashing the power of the federal government ,can offer Quebecers EVERYTHING. And reap the rewards.

Whether the Liberals are running out of time or history remains to be seen.

They desperately need some new grand national vision if they are going to resuscitate their brand.

I'm not saying that Dion couldn't surprise people during an election campaign.

But unfortunately for the Liberals and the rest of us nothing they do....short of promising to abolish the monarchy...will help in Quebec. All THEY want is Dion's head on a plate.

The moment the party chose Dion....thinking they were doing Quebecers a favour... was the imbecile moment. The moment they hit the iceberg.

Now all they can do is rally around the leader and try to keep the rest of the sinking ship afloat.

Before the boilers blow up...

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Folsom Follies and the Religious Wackos

I see it's been another day of wine and wafers for the Catholic Church. First they managed to bully the Miller Beer people into asking that their logo be removed from this fantastic version of the Last Supper

Responding to pressure from Christian groups, the Miller Brewing Co. is asking organizers of a "gay" street celebration in San Francisco to remove its logo from a promotional poster portraying Jesus Christ and his disciples as "half-naked homosexual sadomasochists."

Although I don't know what those tightassed prudes are so upset about. Leonardo was gay and he wouldn't have minded. And I like this Jesus MUCH more than the other one.

And besides it's been done. So many times before.

Then there was this Uber Catholic General's wacko performance.

We should respect those who want to serve the nation but not through the law of the land, condone activity that, in my upbringing, is counter to God's law."

Huh? I thought this guy was supposed to fighting religious extremists. Not IMITATING them.

And how DID a religious fanatic get to head a democracy's army anyway?

And then there was this.

Mozambique's Roman Catholic archbishop has accused European condom manufacturers of deliberately infecting their products with HIV "in order to finish quickly the African people."

In a country where not wearing a condom could kill millions....and about 500 people are infected each day.

Is the Catholic Church sick or what? Is religion madness?

Or do you have to be mad to be WELL as ignorant?

Imagine what kind of world we would live in if these life denying fanatics ever took over?

What a cold and clammy one it would be. Full of death instead of life.

Hmmmm...after thinking about it a lot.... at the beach...where I do most of my BEST thinking.

All I can say is this...

One....if we can't get the crazy monkey of religion off our backs it will kill us all.

Two....if hunky Jesus won't take me to the last supper....or he's too big or too rough...whoever the faithful disciple on the far left is...

I'll do him instead.

And three.... because I know these life denying prudes and crazies will HATE IT.

I'll think I'll play this Beirut video....

Mmmmm....that's more like it. Life IS so much better than death.

Now all we gotta do is introduce those partygoers to the Folsom Street Fair crowd. And we'll have a REAL orgy!!!

Oh yeah....will somebody please turn those quacking religious fanatic party poopers OFF?

They're so fucking annoying...

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Afghanistan and the Attack of the Flying Taliban

Of all the lousy jobs in Afghanistan being a member of an EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal) team has to be one of the worst.

They don't get much credit for it, but if they didn't dismantle IEDs and blow up the junk of this old Russian rocket... our casualties would be three times higher.

It's a dangerous job. You've got to watch out for booby traps, pressure plates, infra-red beams, and bearded barbarians....with cell phones.

And because it's Afghanistan you never know what's going to jump up and bite you. As this team found out when they blew up a rock that was blocking a road.

And came under attack...

Yikes!!! Even the wasps in Afghanistan are mean motherfuckers. Talk about the Taliban Air Force. Talk about suicide bombers.

Memo to chickenhawk Hillier: hold the C4 and send more Raid!!!

Seriously though...the EOD sappers DON'T get enough credit. They don't kill people just save a lot of Canadian and Afghan lives.

Hopefully this new toy will help save even more.

Afghanistan may be a bloody disaster.

But when it comes to heroes...

These guys are mine....

Monday, September 24, 2007

Ahmadinejad, Gays in Iran, and the Hidden Imam

I'm glad nobody took a picture of me today as I watched the crazy dwarf Ahmadinejad blathering away at Columbia University. Because they would have caught me with my mouth open. As in HUH? Or WTF?

It was that surrealistic.

Starting with the warm welcome he got from his hosts.

"I feel the weight of the modern civilized world yearning to express the revulsion at what you stand for,"

Continuing with his deranged ravings about the holocaust, women in Iran, and other nonsense.

And climaxing with his astonishing statement.....that that there aren't any gay people in Iran.

"In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country....In Iran we do not have this phenomenon......I do not know who has told you we have it."

Sure they don't. Just the ones they have beaten.

Or hanged.

Which to cap the surrealism of it all... was greeted with loud laughter.

Although the plight of Iran's gay people is of course desperate.

The good news in all of this? Would you believe a man who says there are no gays in Iran....if he tells you he doesn't want to build a nuclear bomb?

After this nobody else will either. You can thank the poor gays of Iran for that.

The REALLY bad news? Ahmadinejad's deranged ravings about Iran's hidden gay people reminded me that he is a religious fanatic who believes in a bloodthirsty version of the Hidden Imam.

The most remarkable aspect of Mr Ahmadinejad's piety is his devotion to the Hidden Imam, the Messiah-like figure of Shia Islam, and the president's belief that his government must prepare the country for his return.

One of the first acts of Mr Ahmadinejad's government was to donate about £10 million to the Jamkaran mosque, a popular pilgrimage site where the pious come to drop messages to the Hidden Imam into a holy well.

He is said to have gone into "occlusion" in the ninth century, at the age of five. His return will be preceded by cosmic chaos, war and bloodshed. After a cataclysmic confrontation with evil and darkness, the Mahdi will lead the world to an era of universal peace.

Mr Ahmadinejad appears to believe that these events are close at hand and that ordinary mortals can influence the divine timetable.

The unspoken question is this: is Mr Ahmadinejad now tempting a clash with the West because he feels safe in the belief of the imminent return of the Hidden Imam? Worse, might he be trying to provoke chaos in the hope of hastening his reappearance?

Isn't that terrific? The insane Dick Cheney on one side lusting for war. And the crazy religious fanatic Ahmadinejad on the other hoping for The Apocalypse.

All of which my mind at least... to an obvious question. If we can't convince Dicko to go hunting and hopefully shoot HIMSELF this time. And must just hope that one of his many spare parts breaks down....before everything else does.

Do you think we could convince the crazy fascist dwarf Ahmadinejad to dive head first into that well in Jamkaran? And if he won't you think we could arrange for somebody to push him?

I mean if he can't see Iran's hidden homosexuals.

Maybe he can find his Imam. Before it's too late.

For all of us...

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Saving the Gentle Giants of Africa

I've always thought there was something terribly wrong about the way we call bad violent people and political monsters "gorillas." When the real ones are so gentle.

And so vulnerable.

Great apes laugh when they are tickled and cry when they grieve; they think about their past and plan for the future. But that future seems to be a long road to extinction.

The poachers kill them for meat.

Powerful commercial interests conspire to try to turn the Congo forest where most of them live into charcoal.

Ebola has hit them hard.

Now their home has been invaded by rebel soldiers.

The same rebels who killed these gorillas...

Just to scare away their protectors.... as they now have.

It's sickening and depressing. As one scientist said.

"In the future, people are going to remember this as a period when we knew our closest relatives were being wiped out and did nothing,"

So I was glad to see all those people in gorilla suits running through the streets of London today....

To try to help the real ones.

I thought some of the costumes were pretty funny.

And I liked this one a lot.

I wonder why?

But my favourite British gorilla these days is this one....

If only life was so sweet...

I hope that one day we won't have to dress up as gorillas to try to imagine what the real ones looked like.

But if we can't even save the women and children of Darfur.

What chance do the gentle giants have?

The Elephant Man Bigot and the Class of Kanye West

I see that the useless ReformCon Minister of Immigration Diane Finley has done nothing to stop the murderous bigot Elephant Man from entering Canada.

She's quite prepared to deport a young gay man like Alvaro Orozco so he can be killed in Nicaragua. To please Stephen Harper's so-con base.

But this filthy incompetent con won't stop a homophobic Jamaican killer thug from making blood money in Canada.

I don't have a problem with Sizzla performing...because he signed the Reggae Compassionate Act.

But Elephant Man didn't. And anyone who writes lyrics like these....

"When you hear a lesbian getting raped/ It's not our fault ... Two women in bed/ That's two Sodomites who should be dead."

Or calls for gay men to be set on fire and their bodies stomped on...

Log on and step pon chi chi (queer) man/Dance wi a dance and a bun (burn) out a freaky (queer) man…/Step pon him like a old cloth...

Or shot in the head...

Battyman fi dead! Tek dem by surprise (Queers must be killed! Take them by surprise)

Get a shot inna yu head, inna mi big gun collide. (I am going to shoot you in the head, you are going to meet up with my big gun)

Shouldn't be allowed into the country. And if he is should be made to feel as unwelcome as possible.

This blogging brother has some ideas on how to do that.

And I sure intend to do my part....especially since Bigot Man is due to make an appearance at a shitty little club not far from where I live.

But you know.... as I prepare to check out that pathetic blinged up bigot criminal Elephant Man...I can't help thinking about Kanye West.

Two years ago while Elephant Man was calling for gays to be killed, Kanye was denouncing the homophobia in hip hop lyrics.

As he said recently he DID have to deal with a backlash from the stinking hip-hop establishment.

But it didn't make him change or back down. His songs and videos don't have the usual shit hop women as hos touching themselves .....or gangsta violence....or the hate lyrics of murder music.

And where is he now? Did it hurt his career? Did his fans abandon him?

Well not exactly.

While Elephant Man's stinky little act travels from one shrinking venue to another...I mean when you've got a gig in St Catherine's Ontario...and you get KNOW you're in trouble.

Kanye West stands alone at the top of the U.S. single charts with this awesome song....

Isn't it great to know that good guys sometimes do finish first?

That love is better than hate.

And that even in the hip hop jungle class counts. Way to go Kanye!

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Stephane Dion and the Blunt Knife in the Back

I have to admit that when I read this sad story about Stephane Dion, Mr Corn Cob and the Kid.....I started to feel sorry for Captain Canada.

And then I read this story and was even sorrier.

He has always had the geeky potential to look like a loser. He has rivals who openly think he's a loser. Now he has an electoral result that confirms his status as a loser.

Because whatever I might think of Stephane Dion as a political leader.... I have to admit that the poor klutz is a much better person than some of his opponents.

Like this old Liberal hack who went on the Don Newman show today to shove a blunt knife in his back.

His name is Ray Heard. He used to be John Turner's Communications director. A friend told me a funny story about how Heard used to have Turner lie on the floor with a ping pong ball in his mouth to improve his elocution. And we all know how that one turned out...

But that didn't stop Heard. He blasted Dion for taking the Party to the left, and not listening to him or the Trudeau era hacks. Before going on to accuse some of Dion's supporters of being extremists and anti-semites.

You can watch the whole thing here right at the start of the show. It was absolutely digusting. But all I can say if that's who his enemies are... Dion doesn't have to worry about keeping his job...until after the next election.

But then I'm more worried about his friends....and some of mine...who continue to deny that the sky is falling.

Like Andrew Coyne who suggests that the by-elections were only a Bloc disaster.

By now the story has been repeated a thousand times, the headlines burned deep into the public consciousness: Liberals suffer rout, NDP makes historic breakthrough, Tories triumphant. Which is remarkable, since the real story of last night’s by-elections in Quebec is the party none of these headlines thinks to mention: the Bloc.

Yes.....but what HE seems to forget to mention is that if the Bloc continues to break to the Conservatives least outside Montreal....and Dion can't get any traction in English Red Tory himself points out.

If an election is called in the next few months Stephen Harper stands an EXCELLENT chance of picking up enough seats to win a majority government.

Which makes what Dion said in his Outremont speech....that this was a great victory for Canada...even MORE absurd.

I mean if I was Dion I'd be saying a quiet little prayer before I went to bed at night that the Bloc doesn't disintegrate further.

Which when you're playing Captain Canada only shows how DESPERATE the situation really is.

As this guy points that the right is united the Liberals can't hope to form a national government unless they do better in Quebec. Like it or not.

And yet, rather than undertaking a thorough introspection, most of Mr. Dion's Liberals firmly maintain their outdated positions. Afraid to question long-held values, they still refuse to admit that their traditional conception of Quebec's identity no longer echoes with French-speaking Quebeckers.

To which I would only add...Dion is a decent and smart man but he doesn't understand the power of symbols or the passions they arouse. He tries to intellectualize EVERYTHING. And it's killing him.

Coyne is right when he says that the Liberals have bigger problems than Dion. But if the Liberals don't get a grip on reality...and understand that they ARE facing disaster...NOTHING will change.

And if that happens...the only way they'll be able to float their poor hapless leader is to to get themselves some helium balloons.

And do as Mika does in his new video... love, no hope, no happy endings....

The good news for Liberals? Dion now admits he's worried.

Now all he's got to do is convince his own supporters....

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Stephane Dion and the Disaster in Quebec

When I watched Stephane Dion's sad little speech in Outremont tonight... and noticed how stunned he looked....I thought that he had long much Quebecers hate him. And why.

But I was wrong. He still doesn't get it.

Dion maintained a brave face as his party suffered a complete shutout. "We must be really proud that the parties that believe in Canada are stronger tonight," he said to a subdued crowd of Liberal supporters.

Huh? Nothing like turning a Liberal disaster into a federalist a province like Quebec.

He still doesn't understand that when Harper declared Quebec a nation it changed EVERYTHING. It weakened the Bloc...because who needs a referendum when you can get more powers and the autonomy you want handed to you on a plate?

And who needs the Liberals when they've got NOTHING to offer...except a wonky professor still fighting the old referendum battles. Still stuck in the old Canada ...while Harper is offering them a brand new one.

Liberals like Jason Cherniak may not understand that. And look for all kinds of bizarre excuses.

Although I did like the way Jason started an earlier and short (very short) live blog....


We're winning in Outremont and close to 10% in the other ridings.


We're losing

But no amount of ignorance or denial can change the cold hard facts.

One...the Conservatives are gaining ground in Quebec...outside of Montreal. While the Liberals are losing ground everywhere...and could soon become just the party of the anglophones....and practically irrelevant. The NDP may be just a flash in the pan. But the Liberals are going south.

Two Stephane Dion can't do ANYTHING about that. He is crippled by what he did in the past... and who he is today.

And three...the moment has never been better in Quebec for Stephen Harper to trigger an election and pick up the seats he needs to form a majority government.

I don't know what's going to happen next. Look for Gilles Duceppe to twist himself into a pretzel trying to explain why he can't bring down the government....over ANYTHING.

Listen for the Liberal knives to start the mists of denial lift... and panic sets in.

I don't know what twist this story is going to take next. But after tonight...unless the Liberal Party is hit by a tsunami of reality.

I do know how it's going to end...

Monday, September 17, 2007

The Blackwater Boys and Why Bush Can't Win

Meet the pitbulls from Blackwater....the world's most powerful mercenary army. They have their own armoured vehicles, helicopters, and gun ships. Their boss is a right-wing Republican who is planning to bring his private army into American cities. They've already been used in New Orleans.

And in Iraq they are out of control.

Everyone knows that if you come across a convoy guarded by American troops as long as you stay 150 metres back they won't start pumping bullets into your engine block.

But if the convoy is guarded by the Blackwater doggies you'd better take your foot right off the gas and let them disappear into the distance. Because they could flip out just like that...shoot you for nothing. And get away with it.

So I was really glad to see that the Iraqi government wants to give them the heave ho.

The question is will they go?

The U.S. depends on them in Iraq to protect everything from their own officials, to deliveries of food and toilet paper. They simply can't do without them.

If you want to get an idea of just how big they are check out this video...

Coming soon to an American city near you...

The good thing is that whatever happens now....Bush and his gang of war criminals and profiteers really can't win this one.

If they go along with the request of the Iraqi government ...and send the pitbulls back to the pound...they'll cripple their own occupation.

If they don't, and force the Iraqis to back down....they'll make Prime Minister Al Maliki look like an American stooge. Who can't be blamed for ANYTHING.

Oh boy....chapter 4005 and the insane tragedy that is the war in Iraq just keeps on getting better.

Now we get to find out whether the world's most powerful military has come to depend on the services of the world's most powerful mercenary army. And who let that happen?

And who is making all the money?

And of course ...who's really running Iraq? Talk about some REALLY big questions.

Remind me to thank the Blackwater Boys...from a safe distance.

10-4 chihuahas.

Can't wait to hear them bark...

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Dion, Wolfe, and the Fate of Antonio

After thinking it over carefully I've decided I'm not going to make fun of Stephane Dion's leadership qualities anymore. And above all NOT muse about whether it's time to press the panic Antonio did.

Firstly.... because although everything from my brain to my dick tells me the nerd Dion is the most calamitous decent but hopeless political leader to come along since Joe Clark. He's the ONLY nerd we got...and our best hope to defeat the Harper government.

Secondly....because I hate the lugubrious Count Ignatieff and the pompous ass Bob Rae far more than I hate Dion.

Thirdly....because I have a lot of Liberal friends and I can see what they have in mind for Antonio.

And fourthly....and most importantly.... because I'm afraid of this guy!!!

Anyone who can do a brilliant photoshop like that is capable of ANYTHING!!!!

Besides I agree with him. The situation in Outremont isn't quite as dire as it looks. The Liberals have a solid base. And the NDP must count on disaffected Bloquistes to care enough about Mulcair to actually get out of bed and vote. Although Outremont is the only riding where one out of three believe the war in Afghanistan is an important anything could happen.

Because after all it is Quebec.....I mean where else could this guy be in the news almost 250 years after he died?

It turns out that for twenty years some anonymous descendants of James Wolfe have been placing a notice in the obituary section of The Gazette lamenting his untimely departure.

WOLFE, General James. Died in Quebec City, September 13, 1759. Sadly missed.

Except that this year the trashy tabloid the Journal de Montréal noticed. And sent out a reporter to track down these unrepentant Wolfistes.

"We tried to meet these descendants to better understand their everlasting sorrow at never having met the deceased but they let us know that they were "not interested" in talking to us."

So the reporter heads over to see Jean Dorion, the idiot head of the Saint Jean Baptiste Society, and harvests this gem:

"There are some people in the anglophone community who are nostalgic about the English domination, and who want to make it known, discreetly, that they are bored by the time of the Conquest "

Which of course is hogwash. The only Quebecers who believe that are a bunch of cranky separatists over the age of sixty. And nobody else cares what the Saint Jean Baptiste Society has to say about ANYTHING.

But that's why I love Quebec....and it did remind me of the glorious summer afternoons spent necking on the Plains of Abraham....and wondering what the fuck happened here?

I always thought there must be a message for us all in this most defining of Canadian battles. Where one side beat the other. But both generals died. And the losing side won in the end making love not war. And lots of babies.

But maybe it's just a message for Dion. You don't think he could win the Battle of Outremont and still lose HIS war?

And BTW what happened to the little boy who dared to say the Emperor had no clothes?

Wot? They sliced him open, stuffed him full of goose livers and truffles, put an apple in his mouth, and roasted him alive?

Yikes!!!! Long live the Great Nerd Hope!!!!

Run Antonio run...

Saturday, September 15, 2007

How a Canadian School Beat the Bullies

You know how I hate bullies. You know how I believe gay kids should learn martial arts or how to they can beat the bullies at their game.

Or beat the shit out of them like I did.

But of course there are much much better ways to teach these bullies a lesson.

Like these two kids in Nova Scotia did.

Meet David and Travis ...the heroes of Central Kings Rural High School.

When one of their fellow students was bullied for wearing a pink shirt...and called a fag...they turned the whole school into a sea of pink.

Two Nova Scotia students are being praised across North America for the unique way they turned the tide against a fellow student bullied for wearing pink.
When the bullied student, who has never been identified, walked into school to see his fellow students decked out in pink, some of his classmates said it was a powerful moment.

I bet it was.

Now the story is all over the big gay blogs in the United States...and people are writing in to say "What do you expect ? They are Canadians"

Which makes me really proud to be one too.

I still think that gay kids should learn to defend themselves. But if you can get a whole school to stand up to the bullies that's even BETTER.

I could go on and on about how great I think the kids at Central Kings Rural High School are.

But why not say it with a song?

Hey anyone can be a Sébastien likes to say.

Just be brave and cool enough to do the right and decent thing.

Like the kids at Central Kings....

Friday, September 14, 2007

Alvaro Orozco Gets a Deportation Date

I wrote to Alvaro Orozco today to find out what happened to him when he turned up at an immigration office in Mississauga hear the latest decision in his battle to avoid deportation.

He told me that the immigration authorities had rejected his appeal. And had set a deportation date for Thursday, October 4.

First they rejected his application to live in Canada because they said he wasn't gay.

Even though he is.

Now they are deporting him because they say Nicaragua is a safe place for gays to live in.

Even though it isn't.

And to add insult to injury...they refused to even consider that report. And claimed that Nicaragua is safe because gays can cruise at night in parks.

Even though as Alvaro said in his e-mail:

.... they didn't say anything about how many gays and lesbians have been killed in Nicaragua...they don't know that gay people are afraid to be visible during the daytime...and the only time they can feel safe is meeting in a park at night...even though they know the risks they face from the police and the homophobic people...

What kind of cretinous homophobes are these immigration apparatchiks? Do they really think that qualifies as gay life? And if they do why haven't they been FIRED?

You can read more about this travesty of justice here.

Or read this to find out what kind of a backward religious sewer Nicaragua really is.

But the important thing is that now the only thing that can stop Alvaro from being deported is a direct intervention from Immigration Minister Diane Finley.

Alvaro has a new website..... so please use it to let the Minister know how you feel.

Everything I've read about this amazing young gay man and his incredible journey....and all my correspondence with him...has convinced me that he is a really decent, gentle, and idealistic person who would make a GREAT new Canadian.

I can't believe how badly he has been treated here. Which makes how he ended his latest note to me today even more poignant.

......thank you so much for your help in this hard time.

Imagine.Thanking us. When we should be the ones thanking him.

For being such a great example for young gay people.

And for challenging us to show what being a Canadian really means.

Now Even the Liberals Know that Dion is a Dud

Up until a few minutes ago I thought the most stunning news of the week was the report that our poor little earth just might survive the REAL doomsday...the day when the sun blows up.

Isn't that great news? Woohoo!! Now we can all be optimistic again.

Unless of course you're a Liberal.

See what I mean? Isn't that even MORE stunning? The Liberals have FINALLY realized that Stephane Dion is the most clankingly incompetent decent but hopeless political leader to come along since Joe Clark.

Or have they?

Oh dear. Hope and denial are such a bad mix...

You know I can understand the Liberals trying to put up a brave front. What else are they going to do with an election call maybe only weeks away?

But what I can't understand is why it took them so long to realize that Dion is a dud. When a dummy like me had it all figured out SEVEN months ago.

When I warned the walking pinata NOT to go for an election....unless he wanted to hang himself.

So where are we now?

Dion is even MORE of a disaster than he was before. And he's STILL threatening to bring the government down...and hang himself.

Except now he could hang us all.

Great. I can see how this story is going to end. Not with a bang. Like the sun.

But a toga party...

My question for the Liberals you think you could use Halloween as an excuse....

And have your little toga party BEFORE the next election?