Saturday, September 01, 2007
Blogging Blues, the Campus Killer, and Joy Division
Labour Day weekend. Summer is almost over. I still can't believe it. When you're a kid summers seems to last forever. But as you get older they get shorter and shorter. Which makes me wonder....if life is a slowly speeding up movie....why am I wasting so much time blogging?
When I started I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to stand up for gay and bullied kids, speak for those who have no voice. And of course warn Canadians about Stephen Harper. And his plans to destroy Canada as we know it.
But now I'm not sure what I'm doing. The blogosphere is a nastier place. More vicious and insane. (NOTE: this was a link to Werner Patel's blog where he linked to Red Tory's private image file but has since been taken offline by Werner along with many other posts.)
It's turning into a jungle. I feel like I should be carrying a blade...or an elephant gun. Once I just wanted to be accepted....now I'm afraid I belong.
Which for some reason reminds me of this guy....
And how he hated the sound of his voice.
He also did not communicate, speaking very little to his parents and avoiding eye contact.
"If called upon to speak when a visitor came to the home, he would develop sweaty palms, become pale, freeze, and sometimes cry..."
So nobody heard his silent screams for help ....until it was too late and he killed all those people.
Which in turn reminded me of Ian Curtis, the lead singer of Joy Division. And how even his friends didn't hear what he was saying.
Until after he had killed himself.
"This sounds awful but it was only after Ian died that we sat down and listened to the lyrics,"You'd find yourself thinking, 'Oh my God, I missed this one.' Because I'd look at Ian's lyrics and think how clever he was putting himself in the position of someone else.
I never believed he was writing about himself. Looking back, how could I have been so bleedin' stupid? Of course he was writing about himself. But I didn't go in and grab him and ask, 'What's up?' I have to live with that....
Cho couldn't speak. Ian sang but couldn't be heard. I don't know what I want to say. Or how to write it.
Or where I belong.
Life is a speeded up movie. I hope Ian's movie is a good one.
Because I sure love this song...