Saturday, September 08, 2007

Bin Laden, the Beard, and the Boogy Man

Never mind the Toronto film festival....the paparazzi ....or my lunch with Brad Pitt tomorrow....the ONLY (short) movie I want to see is Osama Bin Laden's new video!!!!

Especially since I see that the sensational new development that has EVERYBODY just whether his new Blackbeard of Arabia real or fake.

Which makes me laugh. Not just because it's SO convenient...coming just days before General Pattacakes's report on Iraq.

But because the Bin Laden story has been a tragicomedy right from the start. As this Newsweek story points out when it looks at how Osama managed to vanish into thin air.

And asks the obvious question...

How can that be? With all its spy satellites and aerial drones, killer commandos and millions in reward money, why can't the world's greatest superpower find a middle-aged, possibly ill, religious fanatic with a medieval mind-set?

It's a long read ..... and when I listen carefully I think I hear the angry voices of Special Ops guys.... who live in a world of their own. But it does tell some interesting stories.

How they had Bin Laden cornered at Tora Bora...but they let him get away because they didn't want to offend the Afghans.Or how Rumsfeld called off a Navy Seals raid aimed at capturing Ayman Al Zawahiri ....Al Qaeda's REAL terrorist mastermind...because they didn't want to offend Pakistan.

Or how they bungled or second guessed every opportunity....until Bush and his crazed gang tired of the chase and decided to invade Iraq instead.

Because as Newt Gingrich explained at the time:

"There's a feeling we've got to do something that counts—and bombing caves is not something that counts."

So now the CIA calls Osama "Elvis".

And nobody has a clue where he is...

"What we're doing now is shooting in the dark in outer space. The chances of hitting anything are zero."

Although we DO know that he hates America so much...he won't even drink a PEPSI.

Which makes you really wonder whether the Bush/Cheney thug duet were ever really serious about getting Bin Laden in the first place.

Because crazed and desperate right-wingers ALWAYS need a boogy man. And Osama is the BEST.

Let's face it with his first class television production house, secure distribution network... and now apparently awesome make up department....if they didn't have Blackbeard of Arabia they'd have to INVENT him.

Which in a way they have. Even though he hasn't managed to do anything in the last six years except make videos.

Which begs the darker question....what would happen if Osama Bin Laden DID manage to attack America again?

Would Americans blame Bush and Cheney for doing NOTHING to capture or kill him?

Or would they panic and rally around the Chimp again? And elect Rudy Giuliani as the next President?

Oh boy.....I hope we NEVER have to find out.

In the meantime...may I suggest that if the Bush criminals can't...or don't want to catch Bin Laden. That just in case he's more than a YouTube boogy man with a fake beard...they at least try to drive him COMPLETELY insane.

By flying over Waziristan ....or that five-star Pakistani hotel and resort he stays at...and playing this ad over and over again....

If that doesn't drive him absolutely fucking nuts NOTHING will.

Hey...If you try EVERYTHING.

SOMETHING has gotta work....

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