Why I Don't Really Hate Chris Crocker

If you aren't one of the 10,182,198 people who as of tonight have screened Chris Crocker's YouTube defence of Britney Spears ....which begins like this:

"How fucking DARE.(snarl) ANYONE make fun of Britney!!!! (wail) After ALL she's been through!!!! (sob) She LOVES her aunt....she's been through a DIVORCE!!!!!!"(screech)

And then gets even worse.....

You should consider yourself lucky.

And don't worry you're NOT going to see it here. Because when I screened it I had to take two tylenols and lie down with the blinds drawn and a wet towel around my head. And I'd never forgive myself if the same thing happened to you.

However..... I did find another video to play which has been seen by more than two million people. But is mercifully shorter. So you can get an idea of what this Crockermania is all about...


Now I have to admit that when I first checked out this freak show I had some really BAD thoughts. Like will somebody PLEASE grab that little queen by the neck and drown him in a bathtub?Or just slap her....

But then I read this story. and I changed my mind.

Not only because I found out he's just an effeminate and very angry gay kid who is using the internet to assert himself, and fight back against the bigots in his small Bible Belt town.

As we walked around, past the Sunglass Hut, past the pushy smells of scented candles and baking cookies, people stared hatefully at us, and mostly at him. They stared hard, with the kind of presumed right to glare that people in more sophisticated places wouldn't dare show.

And that takes guts.

But also because I began to be disturbed by the number of gay men who hate him. Just like I do.

Here are some comments from ONE big American gay blog:

Someone PLEASE stop him. I can see the clock of progress screaming back to 1950 with this thing representing gay people.

He belongs in a specimen jar in a carny freak show.

He's hurting a whole lot of gay people out there by reinforcing the stereotype in America's collective mind that we are a bunch of screaming, self serving, good for nothing, mincing flamers.

Will someone please give him a hummer? The kind with four wheels and poor gas mileage? But please back up and run over him a second time. Egomaniacs this self-serving are hard to kill.

Now I like to think the only reason I hate Chris Crocker is because he's so shallow, stupid, and loud. And because he reminds me of my first boyfriend... when he was REALLY drunk.

But then I talked it over with Sebastien and I had to admit that deep down inside I probably also hate him for being such a poor role model. You know not butch enough or dignified enough to represent the side.

Except that he isn't representing the side. Just himself. And for many gay kids trapped in small towns he isn't a poor role model. He's a hero.

And hating him..... for being who he is .....is CRAZY. Because the kind of world I believe in is big enough for EVERYONE....gay or straight.... to be who they are.

And because... although it pains me to say this....the little flamer and I do have some things in common. We're not afraid to stand up for our rights. And we both hate the haters.



Although I wouldn't DARE say it quite like this....


But he does. Somebody has to. So good for him. Or her. Now get me some tylenol...

The moral of this story? Diversity can be extremely annoying but is ultimately wonderful. There is no ONE way to be gay. Bravery comes in many forms, and can be found in the most unusual places.

And Andy Warhol was a fucking prophet when he predicted that EVERYONE could be famous for fifteen minutes.

But of course that was BEFORE YouTube. So he was wrong about the amount of time.Terribly wrong.

That's the REALLY depressing part.

Although Andy would have LOVED Chris .... so WTF?

As the big butch Sebastien said....

Suck it up Simon.

We live in a vulgar world....