Monday, August 08, 2016

Jason Kenney and the Great Sleep-in Tour of Alberta

Before I left Canada I asked some of my friends to keep an eye on Jason Kenney, because as we all know he simply can't be trusted and is capable of anything.

But when one of them e-mailed me to say that Kenney was now touring Alberta in a monster pickup truck, I thought he was joking.

As images of sugar plum fairies and sparkly donuts flooded through my mind.

But it turns out he wasn't kidding!!!!

And the truth was even more bizarre.

Progressive Conservative leadership contender Jason Kenney says he hopes to sleep in the homes of Albertans as he takes his plan to unite supporters of the PC and Wildrose parties on the road in a cross-province tour in a pickup truck.

“I hope to be staying as much as I can with people in their actual homes who are going to be generous enough to open up their homes to a free boarder for a night or two,” Kenney said.

And while I wasn't sure whether to gasp with horror, or burst out laughing, I did have a lot of questions:

(1) After ten years of being driven around in a limo from one ethnic banquet to another like a big fat poobah, does Kenney even know how to drive such a powerful pickup truck?

And will he get a police escort to warn motorists that he is coming? 

(2) Is this the real reason he chose a Ram 1500 pickup?

Asked why a pickup was his vehicle of choice for the tour, Kenney cited concerns about road conditions in rural Alberta in the winter. 

“I figured my Dodge Ram would do the job better than a Prius,” he said with a laugh.

Or is he trying to butch up his image, which as you can imagine, won't be easy. 

Or is it just a bad case of Wildhog tour envy?

Brian Jean's province-wide tour to convince conservative Albertans his Wildrose Party is a better choice than the NDP stopped in Calgary Thursday evening.

But rather than showing solidarity with Progressive Conservative leadership hopeful Jason Kenney, Jean took the opportunity to illustrate the differences between the two parties despite many who wish they would come together to take on Rachel Notley.

When asked how his tour differed from Kenney's, Jean said it's a matter of numbers. "All I can tell you is that I have overwhelming response," Jean said.

(3) Will Kenney be able to find enough supporters willing to put him up for free in their homes?

Or will he have to depend on the kindness of other losers...

(4) Who paid for that ridiculous pickup truck? And why is Kenney driving all over Alberta running for the leadership of a provincial party, while still collecting his salary as a federal MP in Ottawa?

And yes, so many questions and so few answers, but at least one thing is clear:

This whole sleep-in tour of Alberta reeks of desperation.

We are almost certainly seeing the end of Kenney's shabby political career.

I can't help feeling I've seen this movie before.

And it didn't end well...

Jason Kenney, wrapping up or crapping up twenty years as a professional politician.

And going out as a Con clown...

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  1. The ENRON clause of which he was a tacit authour may be part of his desperation like the great white chaste polar bear, his floe is sinking.

  2. Anonymous8:44 PM

    Still moonlighting for the federal Cons with his "Root Cause" twitter post.Given his deep insight on the Palestinian conflict and his affinity for aggressive solutions he should do Canada a favor and move there.

  3. e.a.f.6:21 PM

    absolutely loved his dress and black boots. its priceless. nice touch with the colourful donuts. gee now I want to get a sprinkle donut. Have a good time on vacation.