Thursday, October 22, 2009
My Scary Close Encounter with Stephen Harper
OMG. I'm still in shock. It was like a halloween nightmare. I had a close encounter with Stephen Harper and it was HORRIBLE.
I was on my way home yesterday afternoon. I was just about to cross a highway that leads to the airport. When suddenly three motorcycle cops roared up, blocked the intersection, and shouted at me and other pedestrians to stay where we were.
Then about a minute later came the biggest police motorcade I've ever seen in Canada. For a moment I thought that Obama was making a surprise visit. Or that some brutish Banana Republic dictator had just arrived in town with his entourage.
But then I looked more closely, and hunched up in the back seat of one of the limos was Great Porker Leader on his way to the nearby convention center. And I swear his cold, cruel, piggy eyes were staring straight at me !!!!
Yikes. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to give him a fascist salute eh? But I was afraid I might be arrested or shot. So all I could think of doing was screwing up my nose and oinking loudly.
Because him and his porker Cons soooooo deserve it.
For trying to defend the indefensible. And for squirting their pig manure all over the country...to try to BUY themselves a majority with OUR money. So they can mount Canadians like hogs and screw the life out of the country.
But on the bright side....this horrible encounter did give me an idea on how to best capitalize on the Pork Action Plan (PAP) Scandal, and screw THEM out of power.
Because you know.... although I like words like Cheque-Gate, or Cheque-Mate and of course the Cheque Republic, I just don't think they're strong enough to draw attention to the scandal... and make Canadians fighting mad.
I do think this is a step in the right direction.
But doorknobs are a dime a dozen, and besides where are you going to find a halloween mask like that one?
When we could turn up at every Con porkathon in the country wearing a t-shirt like this one.
And a mask like this one.
And make really loud OINKING sounds.
Golly. Do you think the media would pay attention? Do you think it would keep the scandal alive? Do you think Canadians would get the message?
I bet they would. I mean it's not as if the concept is original...
You know I hope I never see Stephen Harper again, because it really was SCARY. But I have to thank Great Porker Leader for giving me a wicked idea for my halloween costume.
Heh heh heh. Today these Cons are oinking and grunting and squirting. But if we oink even louder than them.
Soon they'll be SQUEALING....
Editorial Cartoon: Patrick Corrigan/Toronto Star