Sunday, August 14, 2011

Rick Perry and the United States of Jebeesus

Glory Hallybubbah !!! The Lord has spoken. Just as I prophesied the other day, he has directed his cowboy servant Rick Perry to become God's President. And kick the heathen negro out of the White House.

And all Canadians need to know about him is that he's a religious fanatic, who can't decide whether he wants to be Dubya, Ronald Reagan, or Charlton Heston playing Moses.

That his views are so right-wing extremist.

[PERRY:] I don’t think our founding fathers when they were putting the term “general welfare” in there were thinking about a federally operated program of pensions nor a federally operated program of health care. What they clearly said was that those were issues that the states need to address. Not the federal government. I stand very clear on that. From my perspective, the states could substantially better operate those programs if that’s what those states decided to do.

Only Stephen Harper could love them.

And that his good friend Mike Bickle wants to be his Secretary of Defence, so that he can declare war on atheists, gay people, and his own personal demons...

That's Mike Bickle from the International House of Prayer.

You know.... the group that is presently embroiled in a nasty legal dispute with the International House of Pancakes.

The good news?  By making his announcement yesterday, Perry managed to overshadow the straw poll victory of his fellow Christianist wingnut  Michele Bachmann.

Not that she minded eh?

Because her win drove Tim Pawlenty, one of the most moderate of the homophobic Republican candidates, out of the race.

And crowned old Crazy Eyes the Queen of the Teabaggers.

Of course, the terrifying part is that should either Bachmann or Perry win the Presidency, we'll be living next to a crazed, heavily armed theocracy... the United States of Jebeesus.

Which would no doubt send our Con theocrats over the deep end. Stephen Harper would probably grow a bushy beard, and demand that he be known as Great Prophet Leader. And Jason Kenney would demand that he be addressed as the Virgin Kenney. As if that wasn't OBVIOUS.

Great eh?

Who needs scary demons? When we got our Christianist Cons.

And we got  scary Amerika...


Beijing York said...

Bachmann + corndog = #WINNING!

Simon said...

hi Beijing...actually I have since since seen a photo of Rick Perry
eating a corn dog, so think we can now declare it a win win situation... :)