Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Preparing for the Greatest Recession

It was another hot and humid day in Hogtown. But that didn't stop me from running down to the golden towers of Bay Street. I wanted to see if the brokers and other stock stuffers were jumping out of the windows after another bad day at the casino.

Because when we're reduced to bartering our possessions to pay for food and medical care, four or five Rolex watches could come in really handy eh?

Yeah I know, I know. But at least I'm preparing for the Greatest Recession, which is more than I can say for the Con gnome Jimbo Flaherty.

He's asking people for ideas on how to save money, instead of asking them for ideas about how to create jobs.

Because goodness knows he doesn't have any...

And neither does Stephen Harper. All he's interested in is killing Big Government. And blowing his tiny trumpet.

Well, Harper saw this one coming despite the blazing winter sun shining directly in his eyes as he fielded the first questions he's taken since the historic downgrade. And he ducked -- but with a twist. His solution: say you really can't comment on a credit agency decision except to say that they were right ... about Canada!

Oh well. I suppose we shouldn't panic eh? The unemployment rate for young Canadians can't go much higher than it already is...TWICE the national average.

And if it does, and they object, at least they'll get free housing and three meals a day in one of Harper's new prisons.

As for older Canadians they shouldn't panic either. As long as they can swap their homes for a trailer, live on dog food, and have a lot of gold in their teeth.

They too can have a great retirement.

Almost as happy as this one...

Unless of course they can't wait until ninety to retire, they can only swap their  homes for supermarket carts, they don't have any teeth let alone any gold, and they're fussy about dog food.

Oh Canada. You were living in a bubble. You thought the Teabagger Cons were good money managers. You idiots.

And now the bubble is going to POP...


  1. makes me wonder how Conrad and his wife are bearing up with all this

  2. meanwhile there's some bad feelings on American Idol payments to judges 'cuz Jennifer is getting so much more

  3. hi Oemissions...probably better than most. Imagine how much money they are saving now that Conrad is getting free room and board... ;)