Thursday, November 08, 2007

Kings, Popes, and Fishnet Stockings

When I first saw this picture I thought one of the tabloids had managed to get a shot of Prince William primping for another wild Windsor Boy party.

While Prince Harry was out in the woods with his friends, snorting vodka, shagging birds. Or shooting them.

You know...just two MORE reasons to abolish the monarchy.

So imagine how disappointed I was to find out it was just another collection of fake celebrities.

Among the realistic-looking fakes are: Brad Pitt shaving Angelina Jolie's legs; a jailed Paris Hilton paying another inmate to scrub her toilet bowl; Mick Jagger getting his lips injected with collagen; a masked Michael Jackson putting lipstick on a crying baby; Catherine Zeta-Jones helping Michael Douglas fit into a corset; Jennifer Lopez struggling to pull a pair of jeans over her ample caboose; Queen Elizabeth II, panties down, sitting on the john; Richard Gere and the Dalai Lama being served by a topless waitress and President Bush and Tony Blair relaxing in white bathrobes as Blair strums a guitar....

And how SHOCKED I was to discover that this picture wasn't part of the collection.

It was REAL.

Who could have guessed it? A old Pope having such a jolly good time with an old King from a corrupt kingdom. Where you can be arrested....or worse....for wearing a crucifix.

Just like good Catholics are being arrested in the United States for wearing fishnet stockings.

What a travesty.

I mean apart from their vast wealth and their fancy robes, what could those two old fogeys have in common?

Except theocracy, the cult of power, corruption, brutal homophobia, generalized misogyny, and the ignorance of the ages.

Oh. Right.

Remind me to file that one somewhere between the Queen sitting on the toilet..

And Michael Jackson putting lipstick on a baby...


P.S. Do you think the next collection will have a fake picture of Stephen Harper blowing George Bush while wearing a hangman's hood?

Or would that also be too real?

And TOO disgusting...

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