Monday, July 08, 2013

The Con Zombie Vic Toews Resigns

OMG. It seems too good to be true.

And it's still a full two weeks before the next full

But it looks as if the Con zombie Vic Toews has stumbled out of his crypt for the very last time. 

Public Safety Minister Vic Toews has announced that he is retiring from politics and will resign as a cabinet minister and as member of Parliament for Provencher effective Tuesday, ahead of what is expected to be a major cabinet shuffle this summer.

"It takes a great deal of deliberation on the part of those who decide to enter politics," said Toews in a statement on Monday. "It takes an even greater amount of consideration and effort to step out of office when one still enjoys the support of those who elected them. However, for me, the time has come to step aside and begin the next chapter of my life."

And goodness knows he won't be missed. For never was there a more brutish reactionary, a more disgusting anti-gay bigot, or a more ghastly hypocrite.

For who could ever forget the perverted pleasure he seemed to get from jailing Canadians? Or his neverending efforts to try to turn us into a police state.

Or the creepy way he went after Adam Carroll and Justin Trudeau...

Or the way he tried to read our e-mails and destroy internet freedom...

Even though he himself was an internet beast. 

This is a politician who has become renowned among a small audience of Manitoba political junkies for sending out long, rambling, emails to his "supporters," in which he angrily attacks opposition MPs, journalists and anyone else with the temerity to disagree with him.

But that was before Toews discovered Twitter, a more immediate, pervasive and, we have come to learn, less thoughtful way of venting your most volatile thoughts the moment they burst into your skull. Toews slowly began to move from the innocuous to the abusive in his emails. He taunted the opposition, howled when they disagreed with him. When the opposition voted against a Tory crime bill, he accused them of helping child kidnappers.

And his foulness knew no limit.

For he called himself a Christian, but Jesus Christ would have slugged him.

But now at last he's gone, and Canada is a slightly cleaner and safer place to live.

Except if you live in Manitoba.

For believe it or not that crummy old Con is still hoping to be made a judge...

Which means I won't be travelling through that province anytime soon eh?

And all I can say now that he's gone is this:

Until the day the last Con zombie is buried in the crypt garbage can of history.

When the full moon rises, keep your doors locked at night.

Because old Vicky may have stumbled off into well deserved obscurity. For only the idiot voters of Provencher, or the other Con zombies will ever miss him.

But until we clean the Cons off the streets.

And make Canada truly safe again.

We're still living in Harperland...

And of course good riddance to bad rubbish eh? 

May he rot in hell, or Provencher, or Paraguay, FOREVER.

For he was a brutish Con thug.

And he will not be missed...

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Anonymous said...

Actually I bet you will be rotting in hell there Simon, a little because of the gay thing, but mostly because you are a horrible person. When people, who no doubt have been telling you this all your life, they are right.

This that what Dad said when he threw you out? Is that what Mom said when you told her you were gay?

Such a really horrible person you are. How do you go on? Sebastian doesn't really love you. You know that don't you? No one can love a person like you Simon.

You even hate yourself. All that rage, it isn't really about Harper, it is about the hate you have for your self. It is why you are gay, because you want to hurt yourself and hurt others. You know it is true.

Deep down you are a sad, broken little man. I pity you.

John B. said...

I’ve got mixed feelings on this one.

I would have preferred to have seen him still in government when the axes hanging over the hydra that is Harper’s gang finally start to fall. And his continued presence in the caucus could potentially have served as yet one more daily reminder of its arrogance and depravity to a public that finally seems to be giving itself a harder slap on its collective flattened forehead and awakening to the insult.

With his departure at this time we can be assured that he’ll get his appointment to the judiciary and people somewhere in the country will still have to deal with applications of his personal moral standards for many years to come.

Simon said...

hi anonycon...Lord preserve's the spirit of Vicky himself !!!!! Or the BOOZE. How many times have I told you that rubbing alcohol and crack don't mix. I realize the sight of your boyfriend Harper must be driving you crazy...or crazier. But there's no excuse for this kind of ugly diatribe which could only come from a very diseased mind...or desperate Con. For the record you are wrong in every respect. I am extremely lucky to have great parents, and a great companion, and to love and be loved by so many. Even though I freely admit I don't deserve it eh? And no, I don't want to hurt anyone. I just want to rid my country of ugly Cons like you. You know, sad broken little Cons in glass houses really shouldn't throw stones. And you should save your pity for yourself...

P.S. Enjoy your stay in Paraguay...

Simon said...

hi John... I suppose it's true that Vicky could have done the Cons more damage by staying than leaving. But when you've got fifty torpedoes in your rusty hulk, what difference does one make? With or without that ghastly zombie the Con ship is going down. Besides the thought of Toews telling the RCMP what to do was the stuff of nightmares, and if Lord Harper ever has a hand in making him a judge, he'll pay a heavy price. Finally, I don't think Vicky will be lecturing anyone on their personal moral standards for the rest of his life. Evil has no measure, but hypocrisy has its limits... ;)

Anonymous said...

Isn't it curious how when some con artist gets her feelings hurt because of some other breach being publicly opened up in the right wing-nut bullshit factory's armor, they always have to turn it into a personal attack? If she doesn't like your blog, Simon, why does she keep reading it? It's like the rest of her relationships where the other whatever-will-tolerate-her at that time keeps pouring hot candle wax on her "stuff" and she, poor little thing, cries out in pain but won't leave the brute because nobody else wants her and she actually deep down enjoys the pain because she really knows how worthless her life really is.
Cheers, Simon! "Party On, Dudes!"

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, Anonymous, how horrible. Like, my gay brother tries to "recruit" me all the time. Tell ya what, sunshine. I guarantee that at one point in my life I was even a bigger homophobe than you. Then one day i woke up and thought, ya know what, who cares? Why is someone else's love life MY business? Are they hurting me or does it affect my life in any way? Are they robbing me or causing me harm in any way? Is my life somehow more enriched when I open my mouth and hurl an insult? So really, what did you accomplish by taking the time out of your life to type that nonsense comment?

Donnydd said...

Speaking of sad, broken and little...Anonymous, heal thyself