In October it will be five years since a pale, shell shocked Stephen Harper stumbled out into the night after being humiliated by Justin Trudeau, the leader he claimed wasn't ready.
Since that fateful night Harper hasn't had anything to say about why he lost the election.
But now in an interview with the right-wing talk show host Dennis Prager, Great Failed Leader is finally pointing the shaky finger of blame.
And believe it or not, he's blaming the Con media!!!
Two years ago Stephen Harper told an American audience that he could still "easily" be Con leader, but didn't want to turn the party into his "personal political vehicle."
But now he is working behind the scenes to elect the next leader.
An associate told the Star that Harper is supportive of a number of those seen as contenders for the leadership, including his former parliamentary secretary Pierre Poilievre and former cabinet ministers Peter MacKay and Erin O’Toole.
Which couldn't be more disastrous for his zombie party.
By any known standards, the media coverage of the SNC-Lavalin affair has been a journalistic horror show.
A freakish zombie apocalypse, where the walking dead in the Ottawa Press Gallery insist it's the BIGGEST story in the world.
Give it saturation coverage, and try to force it down our throats.
During his ill fated bid to be Con leader Maxime Bernier used this bizarre graphic to try to get people to vote for him.
It's inspired by the science-fiction movie The Matrix, where taking the red pill means embracing reality, and taking the blue one means settling for blissful ignorance.
But because the red pill is also a code word used by men who don't believe in gender equality, it should also have been a warning.
And now of course it's too late.
For years Preston Manning has been able to maintain a thin veneer of respectability.
By posing as the slightly dotty elder statesman of the Reform rednecks of Alberta.
But ever since his Harperite cult was defeated in the last election, that image has started to fray along the edges.
Three weeks ago he accused Justin Trudeau of fuelling Western alienation.
And now he's gone one outrageous step further.
If it was Justin Trudeau's happy fate to be able to best represent change at a time when most Canadians were screaming for it.
It is also his unhappy fate to take over a country where Stephen Harper has poisoned the well.
Led the country into the darkness of economic disaster.
Bank of Canada Governor Stephen Poloz says Canada is facing a long and painful fallout from a “seismic shift” in global resource prices that could last up to five years and drain $50-billion a year from the economy.
And populated it with right-wing zombies who are now making threats to kill him.
As you probably remember, when I saw that Stephen Harper had poured gasoline on the flames of bigotry in Quebec, and I saw how his words had galvanized the Bloc Québécois.
I portrayed him as the man who had helped bring the Bloc back from the dead.
And I knew that it wouldn't be long before other zombies would stagger out to take advantage of the situation.
And sure enough out of his PQ crypt came Pierre Karl Péladeau.
In my last post I told you how Jason Kenney and a group of Con zombies set out to try to use a secretly recorded conversation to discredit a Liberal candidate in Alberta.
Only to end up looking like clowns when it turned out they had gone after the wrong person.
So you might think they would have the decency to apologize for their idiot mistake, or at least admit they were wrong.
But no they will not, for they are Cons, and they are shameless.
It's a horrible nightmare. I'm driving down a country road in rural Manitoba on a dark and stormy night, when my car breaks down.
And before I know it I'm forced to run for my life.
But I make it into this small hamlet, report the zombie invasion to the bubbah sheriff.
Only to be arrested and dragged before Judge Toews.
Well I'm sure you remember the scary story of the Con zombie Vic Toews, and his infamous internet snooping bill.
The one Toews called the Protecting Children from Internet Predators Act (Bill C-30) but was really just a sinister plan to read our e-mails. By among other things forcing internet service providers to hand over information to police without a warrant.
The bill was killed after massive public protests, and Toews retired. But now it's back under a new name, Bill C-13 or The Protecting Canadians from Online Crime Act.
And so are the Con zombies.
OMG. It seems too good to be true.
And it's still a full two weeks before the next full
moon.
But it looks as if the Con zombie Vic Toews has stumbled out of his crypt for the very last time.
