Monday, July 15, 2013

Stephen Harper's Desperate Cabinet Shuffle

In Ottawa, the suspense is mounting.

Despite the sweaty heat the whole village is buzzing like a bee hive or a bat cave.

Great Dark Leader is about to unveil his New/Nouveau Cabinet, in a last desperate attempt to save his corrupt regime.

From the wrath of the people, the Penguin, or the POLICE.

And his faithful Robin is already calling the unlucky winners !!!! 

Ray Novak, Harper's chief of staff, began phoning ministers and cabinet newcomers with their new assignments on Saturday night, with the formal appointments set to be announced Monday morning at Rideau Hall.

And at least one born LOSER. 

The new face of Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s cabinet is… Pierre Poilievre.The 34-year-old scrappy, Ottawa-area Conservative MP, who isn’t known for his diplomatic and conciliatory tone, is expected to get a promotion early this week, several sources tell The Huffington Post Canada.

Yes, it's TRUE. Dick Head could really be a MINISTER !!!!

Can you believe it eh?

I guess they were fishing in a very shallow pool. And they just ran out of talent.

Even though I sent a very discreet note to Lord Harpo assuring him that my friend Charlotte, at Far Enough Farm, was ready and willing to serve...

For far less oats and gravy than Old Duff. His other stellar appointment.

But then of course this shuffle is just a sham or another Con scam. An attempt to put a fresh young face on a tired, scandal ridden government. And it won't work for a number of reasons:

One, everybody knows that you can't put lipstick on an old Con hog like that one. Not after everything they've done. Or the way they've behaved.

Two, everybody knows that when you're in the Harper cabinet you speak with your master's voice...

You take your orders from the sinister fanatics in the PMO, walk around on your knees, and kiss Great Cult Leader's ass as often and as loudly as possible.

Or in the case of the NEW/NOUVEAU Minister of Public Security.

Just wag your tail...

And bark on command.

And the third reason it won't work is because it's summer eh?

And the LAST thing Canadians want to talk about these days is POLITICS...

Trust me. I was at the island's nude beach today, and the scariest thing I heard was the story of the guy who got sunburned in all the wrong places, and couldn't have sex for THREE days !!!!

So the shuffle should have as much impact as a pebble dropped into the ocean.

And if we don't wipe the lipstick off this gang of Con losers before Parliament returns, I'm pretty sure Wallin will.

Oh well. At least it should be entertaining eh?

In a sinister sort of way.

Welcome to the NEW/NOUVEAU Conservatives.

And Great Caligari Leader's cabinet...

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  1. If nothing else Simon, the shuffle will bring the next round of thuggish incompetence to the forefront and hopefully set the tone for either Mulcair or Trudeau to trample them in 2015. I was hoping to see more of those two though over the summer reminding all of the horrors of the Duffy affair, but the fall could bring more on that front.

    1. hi bcwaterboy...I hope Canadians aren't fooled by the new mannequins in the window of Harper's Little House of Horrors, because as you and I know the same old gang will be running the show. The summer should muffle the impact, and then in the fall unless the Cons change course, which I can't see happening, they should look as tired and corrupt as they really are...

  2. I see I'm anything but alone in thinking of Ray Novack as the Boy Wonder - which in turn leads me to imagine his flat over the garage at Stornoway as a forerunner to the Batcave. Just think, he could slide down a brass pole to the Batlimo.

    On a serious note, I still haven't seen an answer to a question I've been asking for months: How much was Mr Novack's rent at Stornoway, and to whom did he pay it. He did pay, right?

    1. hi Brian...good question. I never thought about Robin paying rent, and how cheap is he anyway? Or how much of a fanatic? The whole situation strikes me as bizarre, and it really makes me wonder since he was the fixer, how much did he know about the Duffygate scandal. One day people will read about what happened in Canada and they won't believe it...

  3. harper reaches into his undies and pulls out some different handfuls of slime. Big fucking deal.

    1. hi thwap... well the good news is the die is cast. This is his election team so now everyone knows who to go after. And if and when they are plucked like chickens the Cons will have nobody else to go to. That's it, they've scraped the bottom of the barrel. And even their brightest prospects, Rempel and Alexander, won't be able to do anything to make the cons look new/nouveau if Harper doesn't change his policies and his methods. And you and I know he won't...

  4. Anonymous3:18 PM

    What point does it make, to shuffle the cabinet? Harper is still there and nothing, is going to change. Harper is still the bully and the dictator.

    Harper has out and out blatantly lied about his economic plan. Harper has lied about his job action plan. In BC Harper gave China the 200 mining jobs. Harper has permitted China to bring over their own cheap labor, to work the tar sands. Harper's Omnibus Bill permits China permission to sue Canada if, anyone tries to block China's huge inroads into our country.

    Harper is destroying Canada. I don't believe Harper won the election either. As long as Harper is in office, he will continue to harm this country.

    I am sick to death of Harper's thefts of our tax dollars. Harper embarrasses Canada, everywhere he goes. Other countries don't even want to trade with Canada anymore. World organizations don't want Harper either. Why should Canadians have to tolerate that misfit? Harper should be forced to resign.

    1. hi I said in the post nothing will change. It's just a desperate attempt to put a new coat of paint on a dead fish. Packaged and massaged by the Con Ministry of Propaganda and Disinformation. And as you say the real problem is Stephen Harper, and until he's defeated the Cons will never change their ways. I dream about him being forced to resign in disgrace, or being led away in handcuffs. But since I'm a very practical dreamer I'm also counting the days to the next election... ;)

  5. While I usually don't agree with Preston Manning I remember him once saying (in regard to constitutional reform, if I recall correctly) that you could re-paint an old house but underneath it's still the same house. Applies perfectly in this case IMHO.

    1. hi Way Way Up...I must say after the Harper years even Preston Manning and Brian Mulroney look really good to me. ;)But yeah, you can't repair the House of Con unless the decent conservatives can regain control of the party, from the hands of Harpo and his minions. I've been accused by some of going after Harper too much, and mocking him excessively. And maybe I do because I hate bullies so much. But he really is the problem. I keep looking for some decent centre-right leader to come forward and challenge him, but so far so bad...